G and Shan consult friend and fashion expert Rahzé on the outfits described in Twilight Chapter 8. It’s a crime-ridden, caffeinated thrill ride through Port Angeles as they tackle product placement, parallel parking skills, complicated Mormon relationships to soda, and a pivotal plate of ravioli. Part 1 of 2.

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New guest Kacie joins Shannon and G to talk Twilight/Life and Death Chapter 7 and Midnight Sun Chapter 8 in this doozy of an episode. From vampire history talks to vampire makeup looks to vampire football, this one’s got it all! Also discussed: Linkin Park albums as coping mechanisms, Jane Austen vs giant squids, and Jessica Stanley’s fabulous boobs.

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It’s the Beach Episode! Shannon and G invite their friend Winni onto the podcast to compare Bella’s and Beau’s beach trip in Chapter 6 of Twilight/Life and Death to Edward’s and Emmett’s bear hunt adventure in Chapter 7 of Midnight Sun. It’s a rollicking good time as they read along to an evening with the Cullens, a therapy session with Edward, a campfire story with Jacob, and a hike with Mike.

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The crimes continue when old friend Jay joins G and Shannon to talk Twilight/Life and Death Chapter 5 and Midnight Sun Chapter 6. Tune in for a scientifically accurate look at Bella’s squeamishness, Forks High School OSHA violations, and a celebration of Women’s Rights but most especially Women’s Wrongs.

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Guest Laura joins Shannon and G to discuss Twilight and Life and Death Chapter 4 and Midnight Sun Chapter 5. Topics covered include vehicular manslaughter For Girls, Shannon’s real-life Bella Swan experience, proper meteor safety, and whether or not it’s THAT hard to make enchiladas.

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Shannon and G learn some Twilight fandom history from their guest Kalie, the original Twihard. They gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss their way through Twilight and Life and Death Chapter 3 and Midnight Sun Chapters 3-4 to weigh in on car crash choreography, books vs. movies, vampire family dynamics, G’s favorite Twilight parody, and whether Jasper and Rosalie can have a little murder as a treat.

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Shannon and G invite their friend Sam onto the podcast to weigh in on how Beau measures up to the Cis Man Experience™ in Chapter 2 of Life and Death. Also discussed: Chapters 2 of Twilight and Midnight Sun, whether men can see color, how many people we can injure with a single volleyball, and 462 food-related ways to describe your love interest’s eyes.

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G and Shannon are joined by their friend Lexie to discuss Chapter 1 of Twilight, Life and Death, and Midnight Sun. Topics covered include crying, gender roles, American public high schools, and best practices for vampiric murder.

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G and Shannon explain what on earth possessed them to do this ridiculous podcast; they learn about the history of the Twilight franchise, the theory of reparative reading, and each other’s grass allergies.

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