If you steal root beer and then lie about it, you’re trying to kill Aslan. And, by the way, you might as well forget about trying to turn a baseball card into a dinosaur.

It doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to figure out the difference between Old and New Testaments. A water bottle and a little mercy go a long way.

You’re eating a burrito and you notice a monster rose right over your shoulder. Just remember that yellow is for friendship.

Monday bonus! When it comes to a good beard, there’s just not that much to be said. We defy this principle. (Feat. Dmac)

It could be incense or it could be cheese in a can, but the moment you smell it you think, “I don’t know what it is, but I want it.” This podcast brought to you by Tide Bleach. (Feat. Dmac)

It might be a video of a figure skater with overdubbed flatulence, but some things just have to be shared. “You can have your thing and we’ll have ours” is costing us lives, people.