By Tony Loyd
We tell positive stories of people who, thrive in life, connect with others, and contribute to the world in the face of adversity.
We ask and answer this one question:
"Tell me abou
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The podcast currently has 35 episodes available.
What can we learn about masculinity from an adventurer?
John Beede a worldwide adventurer who has traveled to 67 countries, written 3 books, and given live presentations to nearly 1 million audience members.
He has climbed to the top of the tallest mountain on every continent, including Mount Everest. He has kite surfed in every ocean on the planet. In the last nine years, he survived avalanches, pulmonary edema, tribal warfare, and a whole lot of Clif bars.
But his biggest challenge was when he sat down quietly on a sofa and told someone about his pain.
John’s newest book is The Warrior Challenge: 8 Quests for Boys to Grow Up with Kindness, Courage, and Grit. In this important book, John talks about how to raise young men in challenging times. Traits we've always considered masculine--like being tough and not showing emotion--are no longer what we want for our boys. Especially when society most needs unity, empathy, and the understanding that all humans are created equal.
Learn more about John Beede:
Book: The Warrior Challenge: 8 Quests for Boys to Grow Up with Kindness, Courage, and Grit, https://amzn.to/2VtSdOi
John Beede: https://JohnBeede.com
John Beede on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnbeede
John Beede on Twitter: https://twitter.com/johnbeede
John Beede on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnbd
What if your biggest setback can unlock a magical journey?
Jeff Harry uses a combination of positive psychology and play to unlock possibilities.
I asked Jeff to tell me about a time when he was resilient. His answer is epic.
“My best friend Dana and I are locking up the café,” Jeff Harry tells me. “We had put our heart and soul into it for the past year and a half. All my savings, and even money I didn't have - six figures to be exact - was invested in that cafe. Everyone tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. This is the last time we would be standing here, as we were closing the cafe down. We walked away with such shame.
“I felt like such a failure, a loser, naive, and stupid. I believed I would be in debt for the rest of my life, paying for this bad decision. What was I even thinking? Would I ever be able to bounce back? My inner critic beat up every day for the next year as I paid off debts and tried to scrounge up whatever money I could to free myself of this poor choice.
“A funny thing happened though. I was astonished that I was still alive. That even with this big failure, I hadn't had a nervous breakdown. I hadn't lost my job that actually paid me and for some reason because I hadn't died.
“I felt bold enough to fail again. Even if I fell flat on my face once again, it couldn't be as bad as this last failure. So, I decided to create a separate Corporate Special Events Wing for the LEGO-Inspired STEM Organization that I helped build.
“I started reaching out to the top Silicon Valley companies and pitching them to do special events that I didn't even know if I could pull off. I started doing crazy things because I was compelled to do it. For example, once I was watching a Marvel Movie, saw the VP of Creative Services, and went home and reached out to her on LinkedIn to see if we could collaborate on an event and she actually got back to me. Why not just ask every organization I ever dreamed of working with and just see who would say yes?
“That bold attitude and willingness to take risks culminated in us doing massive events and conferences for Amazon, LEGO, Google, Salesforce, and countless other Fortune 500 companies. We even broke a few World Records.
“I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't care. Because I felt I could do anything after failing so miserably and surviving that failure. It really is true that you learn the most from failure and the more you are willing to fail, the more likely you will succeed. For example, James Dyson created 5126 failed prototypes before inventing the first bagless vacuum cleaner.”
Jeff’s persistence in the face of adversity paid off. Today, Jeff shows individuals and companies how to tap into their true selves and to feel their happiest and most fulfilled. He does that by playing. Jeff has worked with Google, Microsoft, Southwest Airlines, Adobe, the NFL, Amazon, and Facebook, helping their staff to infuse more play into the day-to-day.
Jeff is an international speaker who has presented at conferences such as INBOUND, SXSW, and Australia’s Pausefest, showing audiences how major issues in the workplace can be solved using play.
Learn more about Jeff Harry:
Rediscover Your Play: https://www.rediscoveryourplay.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeffharryplays
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeffHarryPlays
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-harry-6991a94
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/jchuche
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jeffharryplays
New York Times Article on Jeff Harry: How Do We Add More Play To Our Grown-Up Life - Even Now: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/14/smarter-living/adults-play-work-life-balance.html
What do the happiest among us have in common?
Laura DiBenedetto’s story begins with bullying, abuse, bankruptcy, and burn out. More than anything, she wanted to be in control of her own destiny. So, at the age of 19, she launched the award-winning marketing company, Vision Advertising. Laura created, built, and ran the growth-oriented enterprise. She personally sold several million dollars in ongoing contracts. She was featured on Fox News and other Boston programming several times. She was recognized for business accomplishments and was named a 40 Under 40 winner at only age 23.
At the age of 37, Laura retired with a 6-figure passive income. She had all the outward appearance of having won at life. However, she was simply burnt out and unhappy. After years of self-improvement classes, workshops, books, and more, Laura was confused. She wondered why the personal development world had let her down. She sought to solve the problem.
Laura went on a radical journey of self-discovery, research, and testing, determined to find energy and lasting, fulfilling happiness in all areas of life. She found the answers – six of them, in fact.
Today, Laura is devoted to sharing the truths she discovered, so that others may find their own path out of misery and into lasting happiness. She shares what she has learned in her book, The Six Habits: Practical Tools for Bringing Your Dreams to Life.
Laura is a TEDx Speaker and bestselling author. She teaches how to create the life of our dreams without sacrificing what we love. As Founder and CEO of Vision Advertising, a company that she built aged 19, she has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs build and grow profitable enterprises entirely on their terms.
Learn more about Laura DiBenedetto:
Book: The Six Habits: https://www.thesixhabits.com
Laura DiBenedetto: https://lauradibenedetto.com
Laura DiBenedetto’s TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/5rYes2CHFIM
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauraldibenedetto
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauraldibenedetto
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lldibenedetto
What opportunities are now available to you because of the pandemic?
There is a Jedi mind trick that can help you to be resilient. When you are up against an obstacle, ask yourself, “What does this make possible?” By learning to focus on the possibilities, you can build your hope muscle.
That’s precisely what Claire Downey has learned to do.
Claire had a dream job that allowed her to travel worldwide and meet all the sports superstars. “I fell into a career in broadcasting,” Claire explains. “At university, I studied Sport and Exercise Science. Knowing I wanted to work in sport and not a lot else, I applied for a sports media graduate scheme. Somehow, I got the job despite my blue hair. My career has blossomed since, and I have been lucky to work at major events worldwide.”
Then she was stricken by a rare disease. “It’s not been easy, though. While working at a tennis tournament, I developed a rare autoimmune disease that knocked me for six months. It’s called Miller Fisher. I’m told it affects 1-2 people per million in their entire lifetime.
“Your immune system attacks your nerves. It leaves you with no reactions and, in my case, affecting my sight. Some people stay like this permanently, but I was one of the lucky ones that got better.
Then COVID-19 appeared, and Claire couldn’t work. “When lockdown happened in London, I had time to re-evaluate. I didn’t feel like I was contributing properly to society. My illness had also changed my outlook on life. When I heard about the Class of 2020 project, I couldn’t wait to get involved. Class of 2020 is a free e-learning community platform to boost confidence, teach new skills, and improve employability. Somehow, I ended up as part of the management team. The project is extraordinary.
“We have a group of volunteers who have never met each other, working together to build something remarkable. We created a free online learning platform where 18 to 25-year-olds can access learning materials donated by major companies.
“The Class of 2020 offering has a real community vibe. It helps build confidence, improve skills, and increase employability. The project is right at its infancy, and we have had many ups and quite a few downs. As we launch, it’s remarkable to see how much progress has been made, but I can also see we have a long road ahead of us.
A Lesson Learned
“Working on the Class of 2020 is sometimes very scary. I’ve been involved in things I would never have dreamed of, and it’s easy to feel out of your depth (imposter syndrome). It would be easy to give up, but that doesn’t help anyone. Sometimes you must take a deep breath and take the plunge.”
A Call to Action
“Take some time to assess what interests you. See the possibilities in COVID-19.
“Many of us are working from home. It offers more time to do the things we believe in - be it a hobby, mentoring, volunteering, learning a language, or setting up a new skill. Also, please get in touch if you want to get involved in Class of 2020. We are always looking for content to put on the platform. We’re looking for written or recorded content. And, if you think you could do with learning a new skill, please check out the website.”
Learn more about Claire Downey and Class Of 2020:
Class Of 2020 Website: https://www.classof2020.org.uk
Facebook: https://facebook.com/classof2020hq
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/classof2020hq
Twitter: https://twitter.com/classof2020hq
Company LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/43211106
Claire Downey on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-downey-38743954
Jennifer R. Farmer tells us how Black women thrive in work and life.
We’ve been talking about resilience. Who better to talk to than Jennifer? She has a book available for preorder, First and Only: A Black Woman's Guide to Thriving at Work and in Life.
Jennifer grew up in subsidized housing in Columbus, Ohio. “It was not uncommon for me to lay on the ground to escape the sound of bullets,” she explains. “When you grow up in poverty and you grow up in constant fear that you will survive, it's very difficult to see what your life could look like 10, 15, or 20 years down the line.
“And so if you were talking to that 11 or 12 year old girl who was very aware of the fact that she was poor, very aware of the fact that she was smart, but still didn't have all the opportunities that she may have seen others, she could not have imagined who she would become.
“College was not in my long-term plans. It was an attempt to escape the life I knew. Going to college was one of the best decisions I ever made. I gained more than knowledge. College gave me confidence. It gave me a new way to see the world and the belief that I was just as good as the next person.
Perseverance
“I have tried to do two things throughout my career: make good choices and persevere no matter what,” Jennifer says. “What distinguishes me from others is that I do not give up. I will always improve. I think critically about what it means to thrive, even in atmospheres not set up for my success.
“My father was very independent. He was very determined. I got that from him.
“My mother instilled in me that I don't ever give up. If you make a mistake., you can feel bad. Get up the next day and try again. I've learned that if I make a mistake, if I do something wrong, if I fail, it stings. But it stings a little bit less if there's a lesson that I can glean from it. If there's a strategy that I can put in place that will help me help me advance.
“I think what's unique about me is, my commitment is to keep trying. I may be down for season, but my commitment is to start again, even in the face of perceived failure; even in the face of personal disappointment; even when it seems like I have no clue what I'm going to do. That willingness to start again is really what enables all of us to succeed.”
Good Choices
“Life reflects the choice that we have made,” Jennifer says. “I always think about ‘OK, how did I get here?’ What choice did I make?
“And where do I want to be tomorrow. If I know where I want to be tomorrow, what choices do I have to make today to make that happen? When you think about your life, you can pinpoint different choices that set you up.
“For example, my decision to go to college. That set me up to think differently about the world. My decision to surround myself with people who are different from me gives me an opportunity to see the world from a broader perspective. My decision to leave my full-time job and to start my own company is setting me up to have a level of agency that I've always that I've always desired. It gives me a level of freedom that's important to me as a parent.”
Learn more about Jennifer R. Farmer:
Our connections are a source of resilience.
Picture it. You are in a strange city, far away from home. You are suddenly struck ill. Now, imagine, if you also ran out of money and you weren’t sure how you were going to get home. Your voice is so hoarse, when you speak, no one can understand you. Oh, and to complicate things, you are blind.
That’s the situation that speaker, author, and blogger Maxwell Ivey found himself in a few years ago. “I was sick, hoarse, broke, and about to be homeless in New York City,” Max explains. “I had given a talk. I got through it with a combination of hot tea with honey, winter green life savers, and the showman's will to always go on. I even sang at the end of my talk although my voice cratered.”
Max went from coffee shop to coffee shop, drinking coffee and working the internet. “I couldn't call people because they couldn't understand me. Finally, one friend from California sent me money for a hotel. It was within walking distance of the diner. Another friend purchased a train ticket for me back home to Houston, Texas.
“Friends from church picked me up at the station. I was so sick” he remembers, “they made me put on gloves and mask. That was long before this pandemic.
“I was sick for several weeks. Dehydration caused me to be dizzy and have trouble talking. It was a month before I could speak normally and two months before I could sing again. Eventually I did overcome the catastrophe and put myself out there again. This time, I remained closer to home.
Building His Network
Maxwell Ivey is a totally blind man who grew up in a family of carnival owners. From an early age, he knew that he would eventually lose his vision.
Family, teachers, and other mentors taught him to be positive and see the possibilities. He graduated from a traditional high school and college. He achieved the rank of eagle scout.
After college, Max participated in the family carnival business until his dad's death.
He then started a business to help others sell their surplus carnival rides.
Max had to learn how to hand code html. He also had to recruit clients, set fees, write copy, manage media, use social media, build an email list, record videos, and more.
Max started blogging to share what he learned. People were inspired by his journey, and he began to gather a following. That lead to a second website as The Blind Blogger. He also published four self-help books. He started traveling the country to speak. That is how he found himself in New York City with no way to get home. His network came to his rescue.
Lesson Learned:
Max advises listeners, “Start building your community now. Start by adding one supportive, encouraging, uplifting person and grow from there. Use social media to make real connections online. In times of crisis, it's the people you have come to know and trust who will help you the most.”
A Call to Action:
“Reach out to one person you like admire or trust and ask them to become part of your journey. It could even be me. I love inspiring others.”
Learn more about Maxwell Ivey, The Blind Blogger:
Catharine Clarenbach heard voices in her head. Now she helps others to follow their hearts.
Rev. Catharine B. Clarenbach is both a Unitarian Universalist minister and a Wiccan priestess. She spent most of the first thirty years of her life in the grip of mental illness. Almost every day, she heard voices telling her that suicide was the only way out of her pain. At age 31, she was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and her life changed dramatically. Now, over fifteen years later, she is a thriving entrepreneur. She helps people find their best selves, listen to their intuition, and bring more love into the world.
“I spent most of the first thirty years of my life in the grip of bipolar disorder,” Catharine explains. “That is type 1, the kind that comes with mania and hearing voices. Nearly every hour, the voices told me I should kill myself. I was also very bullied as a child, am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults, and am the adult child of an alcoholic.” Catharine loved and admired his father. “I think he was probably self-medicating his own bipolar by using alcohol.”
At the age of 31, she discovered that she could have had bipolar disorder. “I was able to find help, thanks to the assistance of a dear friend. I realized that bipolar disorder had been treated in millions of people. Maybe I could help too. And I did. I got the help that changed my life.
“I could make plans. I could follow through. I could finish my bachelor’s degree. And eventually, I went to divinity school and became an ordained minister.
Now for years, she’s been helping other people around the world through classes and web conferencing. “I’m not the kind of minister who has a bricks-and-mortar congregation. Through my work at The Way of the River, I help people --especially people alienated from traditional religion. This often includes people with their mental health struggles or fellow Rainbow Family members, the LGBTQ communities. I help people find their way back to spirituality and their place as a perfectly imperfect image of the Creator. Every day, I get to bring the fruits of my struggle to bears as I listen and support people from all over the world. I couldn’t be happier.”
Lessons Learned from Her Struggles
“I am no different from a homeless person talking with themselves on the street. When I see those people talking out loud to no one we can see, I know who they’re talking to. I am just like them -- I happen to have the privilege of support of family, friends, and a team of helpers who keep me going on the path of mental health.
“There are people who want to help you, who want to find you and help pull you out of your stuck places. We are all in this together, with every other living thing, and with every other suffering human being.”
A Call to Action
Catharine urges people to share their stories with others. “Dare to reach out and be vulnerable with someone. Dare to share your difficulties. I guarantee that someone somewhere desperately needs to hear your story.”
Learn more about Catharine Clarenbach and The Way of the River:
● The Way of the River https://thewayoftheriver.com
● Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheWayoftheRiver
For extended show notes, see https://thriveconnectcontribute.com/trav-bell
How Trav Bell became The Bucket List Guy.
In my wallet, is a neatly folded piece of paper. It comes from a daily calendar on November 30, 1995. The paper says, “Make a list of 25 things you want to experience before you die. Carry it in your wallet and refer to it often.”
On the back of the paper is my first bucket list. Today, I keep a bucket list on Google Docs. Every time I cross something off the list, I add something else.
When it comes to bucket lists, Trav Bell has me beat, hands down.
Trav Bell is The Bucket List Guy. He speaks to audiences around the world, including his incredible TEDx Melbourne talk.
But he wasn’t born with a bucket list. It developed over time.
“I've never worked for anyone in my life,” Trav explains. “I've always been an entrepreneur.
“That's probably because my dad was a fitter and turner, a mechanic. He worked for the same people from the age of 16 to the age of retirement. He liked it, but he wasn't really engaged the whole time. It brought him a fair bit of unhappiness.
“That's probably why I went to entrepreneurialism, and why I chose my own path.”
Trav was always good at sports. He grew up as a surfer, swimmer, lifesaver (or lifeguard). When he went to university, he studied physical education. In his third year of college, he started training others as a personal trainer.
“This is when personal training wasn’t a thing. There were only a handful of personal trainers running around Australia. I was in Melbourne, so I started this personal training thing.”
Trav eventually grew his personal training business from a single customer to a franchise business that served tens of thousands of clients. “I did that business for 20 years,” Trav remembers. “But there were some things that happened in my life that spiraled out of control, that got on top of me. I went through a bout of depression. I had a breakdown before my breakthrough moment.
After twenty years of work to build a thriving business, the business began to take its toll. Trav decided to sell his business and to pursue a different path.
“I found myself in personal development course, getting coaches, reading up on positive psychology, neurolinguistic programming, all this good stuff. If you put a course in front of me at that point, I would have done it and invested heavily.”
Eventually three coincidences came together to put Trav on the path to being The Bucket List Guy.
Learn More about Trav Bell:
Trav Bell, The Bucket List Guy: https://www.thebucketlistguy.com
Become a Bucket List Coach: https://www.bucketlistcoach.com
The Bucket List Guy on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebucketlistguy
The Bucket List Guy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/travbell
The Bucket List Guy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bucketlistguy.travbell
The Bucket List Guy on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheBucketListGuy2011
Trav Bell on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/travbell
Book: Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment: https://amzn.to/2R28LL5
Mandar Apte felt called to create peace. But first, he had to give up his dream job.
In early 1959, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Coretta Scott King took a five-week tour of India to see the results of Mahatma Gandhi’s nonviolent movement.
While in India, Dr. King said, “I am more convinced than ever before that the method of nonviolent resistance is the most potent weapon available to oppressed people in their struggle for justice and human dignity.”
A Sexy Job
In 2016, the story of King’s trip to India caught the attention of Mandar Apte. “I was a senior executive at Shell with a sexy job, ‘Manager of GameChanger Social Innovation,’” Mandar explains. “I managed a multi-million-dollar investment fund on innovations. The fund created shared value - both social impact and business returns.”
His work was recognized globally. He has spoken at TEDx, Wharton Business School, Social Innovation Summit, London Business School, and more. His work was recognized in publications such as FastCompany. He was the winner of the prestigious Ashoka League of Intrapreneurs.
But then, Mandar read the story of Dr. King’s trip to India.
“I was on a month-long holiday in India when I read Dr. King’s biography,” Mandar says. He read about Dr. King’s trip to India and was immediately struck. “The calling was, America needs another reminder of nonviolence.”
Mandar called several friends, including his friend Sarah. When he told Sarah about what he was learning, she challenged him, “Why don’t you lead a delegation to India?”
Mandar found and spoke to thirty-five victims of violence in America. Of the thirty-five, six people joined him in India. He hosted parents from the Sandy Hook Elementary School, former gang members, and leaders in the Black Lives movement.
“I used that month to produce a documentary film about victims of violence from America, walking in the footsteps of MLK’s journey.” The film is From India, With Love.
After his month vacation, Mandar went back to his sexy job. But the problem of peace would not leave him alone.
“I could not go back to work,” Mandar says. He quotes Dr. King’s words, “Today we don’t have a choice between and violence and nonviolence. It is either nonviolence or nonexistence.”
Mandar is both a peace activist and an innovator. “I am an engineer. I look at the problem and work toward a solution. The problem I had taken on was how to reduce violence of all kinds. How can we promote peace and compassion?
“So, I quit my job.”
From Filmmaker to Peace Activist
After leaving his job, Mandar began to screen the film across the United States. “I went to the south side of Chicago. I went to inner-city schools, prisons, and juvenile halls.
One screening was on the campus of George Mason University. The Dean for the School of Conflict Resolution had been to India. In a conversation, Mandar proposed creating an innovation lab that would look at the business case for peace.
“For cities like Los Angeles, every homicide costs the taxpayers between one and ten million dollars,” Mandar explains.
In 2019, Mandar started Cities4Peace, a peace consultancy that works with civic leaders to promote peace in cities. The flagship project of this initiative launched in Los Angeles. Mandar worked with the Los Angeles Police Dept (LAPD) and the LA Mayor’s Office for Gang Reduction & Youth Development (GRYD).
“Everybody can get involved,” he says. “You don’t have to go to South Sudan or Iraq. There is violence in our communities.”
Learn More about Mandar Apte:
From India, With Love: https://amzn.to/2Y3ITSJ
Cities4Peace Website: https://cities4peace.org/
For Corporate Innovators: http://www.mandar-apte.com/
Mandar Apte on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mandarjgd
Mandar Apte on Twitter: https://twitter.com/mandarapte108
For extended show notes, see https://thriveconnectcontribute.com/iram-gilani/
After Iram Gilani nearly lost her life to gun violence, she found hope by building a community. Now she dedicates her life to helping others.
Iram Gilani is a Pakistani-American author. She faced abandonment, neglect, isolation, molestation, physical and emotional abuse, forced marriage, bullying, homelessness, and a violent gun assault that shattered her jaw. She has risen from the depths of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder to be a voice for the abused and marginalized.
Learn More about Iram Gilani:
Iram Gilani Website: https://iramgilani.com/
Iram Gilani on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IramGilaniOfficial
Iram Gilani on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iramgilani2020/
Iram Gilani on Twitter: https://twitter.com/IramGilani2020
The podcast currently has 35 episodes available.