Thriving Between The Lines

In this footnote, Meka explores the main points from an article by Lori S. Katz Ph.D.  In the article, she offers 5 essential strategies for communication in the context of sexual trauma. 

Read the full article below:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/healing-from-sexual-trauma/202008/5-essential-strategies-for-effective-communication

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"What could possibly be wrong with Non-Violent Communication? Haven't you two gone a bit too far with your cheeky deep dives this time??" I hear you ask. Well, listen to what we have to say and decide if, perhaps, we haven't gone far enough! We expect a more responsible presentation of influential concepts from people as world-renowned as the late Marshall B. Rosenberg.

Look, it's not that the concept of non-violent communication (NVC) is bad, as such. In fact, we both dig it as a method of communication. Howeverrrrrr....as usual, it's the way the source material presents the concept that we need to dive into. And dive into it we did! We expect a more responsible presentation of influential concepts from people as world-renowned as the late Marshall B. Rosenberg. For anyone out there pushing NVC as the be-all-and-end-all of mediation techniques, take note that it's extremely important to carefully consider how parts of the process may hit very differently for people from marginalised backgrounds! 

Content warning: mention of sexual assault and LOTS of racial gaslighting!

more resources:

My first Black Lives Matter speech: https://youtu.be/2i3LbOTYGco?si=7EAyqeKfxh7MA25h

My 4th of July Black Lives Matter speech: https://youtu.be/YsVHHaBQrZI?si=tMdQaYW1cvTChuWh

Music Video: "Black" by Dave - https://youtu.be/mXLS2IzZSdg?si=RJxnoThFm_C7RC0L

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Content warning: Frank discussion of pregnancy loss

This footnote is about things not to say when someone has had a miscarriage.

Have you ever wondered what to say to support a friend who has experienced pregnancy loss? Well, most of the time it's not about what you say, but about how well you listen! Leslie speaks very openly about her history with recurrent pregnancy losses, and in this footnote, she shares some of the most frustrating responses she heard repeatedly during that period in her life.

And here's some bonus content from the Leslie V. Coaching Youtube channel:

What NOT to say to someone who has miscarried

And on that cheerful note, happy listening :)

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Poor people don’t want money enough, apparently 🙄. And in other news, the reason you attract bad people is that you are a bad person!  ….Yeah, this was all news to us as well.

Join us, Leslie and Meka, as we dissect yet another book that completely dismisses the role of privilege on success, You Are a Badass, by Jen Sincero. While there are some things this book gets right, there are many things it gets very…very wrong. In this episode, we dive into the author’s perspectives on self-perception, the law of attraction, and money. We also share our own perspectives on what it really takes to be a badass, especially as members of marginalised communities. 

 So have a listen and hear what we have to say about this book through the lens of intersectionality!

Don’t forget to shoot us a message and tell us what you think about this episode! Find us on Instagram @leslievcoaching

Links to things referenced in this chapter:

Bail: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

One the subject of ‘internalised homophobia’, here’s a luscious take-down of one of Sincero’s other books, by Savy Writes on YouTube

RANT REVIEW: Jen Sincero's BIG BOOK OF BISEXUAL ERASURE

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Here's another previously unpublished footnote from our episode on No Excuses, by Brian Tracy. In this footnote, Leslie goes off about toxic behaviours that are accepted in too many monogamous relationships. 

We speak very openly about being both queer and polyamorous, so when Tracy insists that married people must avoid engaging with members of 'the opposite sex' except for the purpose of business, there's no way we're not going to have something to say about this!

Note: Toxic Monogamy is very different from healthy forms of monogamy. We hope that this footnote will help more people understand the difference.

Also, Meka will be back from the US soon, so we're going to get back into publishing full episodes ASAP! Watch this space.

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Here's another previously unpublished footnote from way back in Chapter 2, in which we spoke about The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo!

In this footnote, Meka tells us about an app he uses to prevent gaining clutter by accidentally re-buying things. 

Different systems work for different people, and for those of us who are neurodivergent, it's even more important to find our own ways to keep ourselves...reasonably organised :)

So, do you have a system for staying organised? Do you need one? Let's talk about it! Book a free introductory life coaching consultation at leslievcoaching.com

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Here's a previously unpublished footnote to keep y'all warm while Meka is away being a genius! This was originally attached to Chapter 8: Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis. 

In this footnote, Meka explains the difference between Toxic Positivity and having an overall positive mindset. Toxic Positivity is incredibly harmful, yet so heavily present in a lot of self-help media. So why is it such a problem? Listen and find out!

Kindest regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-

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content warning: eating disorders, spiritual abuse, suicidal ideation, cult mentality

This is the story of why Meka had to stop watching to documentary part way through. Let this be another cautionary tale for anyone who still turns to Robbins and people like him for 'guidance' or puts self-help gurus on a pedestal.

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This is a story about Leslie's first Success Resources experience (2018), which was also her first and only live Tony Robbins experience. Like, seriously, she had to make herself a Bingo card for day 2 just to stay engaged. Have a listen!

A screenshot of the Bingo card in question

Also, Mike Winnet gets a mention here, so definitely check out his videos about Success Resources and similar organisations. Here's one to get you started:

The Contrepreneur Formula Exposed

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Tony Robbins has been upheld as the number 1 personal development guru of our time. BUT is he doing more harm than good? And should someone with such power in the self help world be held to a higher standard of ethics?

In this chapter, we’ve changed things up a little bit and sunk our teeth into a documentary, Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru, rather than a book. We’ve done this for a few reasons:

• Meka is heading overseas to be a genius for a few weeks and has been super busy preparing for the trip.
• This documentary gives enough of a look at what Tony Robbins is about that we don’t have to cover one of his many bestselling books in order to examine the influence he has had on society.
• We just kinda felt like it, oKAY!

So, let’s get this content/language warning out of the way first…

This episode deals with challenging themes including suicide, abuse, trauma, and masculine/feminine polarity. Do you suppose the doco deals with these in a sensitive, trauma-informed manner?.......nahhhh. Also prepare for loads of F-bombs because #edgy 🤔

Get us in your ears!

Kindest Regards,

Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-


Resources:

Youtube: Tony Robbins Does Not Understand The #MeToo Movement | NowThis

Punishing Followers And Preying On The Vulnerable: A Timeline Of The Tony Robbins Investigation - GQ Magazine

Unlimited Power: A Buzzfeed News investigation 

Youtube: The Problem with Tony Robbins (Deep-Dive - Pt.1) - münecat

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