Part 3 of 3: What actually helps students succeed in college?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians offer practical guidance for families preparing for the transition to college. From understanding accommodations to building routines that support mental health, this conversation focuses on actionable steps.

Moderated by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora, this episode covers:

• Academic supports and documentation

• Counseling centers and mental health care

• Self-advocacy in college

• How parents can support teens' independence

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a good start in college and navigate this important period of building independence.

Download it here: https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Part 2 of 3: College demands a new level of self-management

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians unpack executive functioning and procrastination — and why struggling to start a task isn’t about laziness, but about skill development and brain maturation.

In this moderated conversation led by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora, you’ll hear:

• What executive functioning actually involves

• Why procrastination can become a cycle

• How brain development affects follow-through

• Why building these skills matters in college

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a strong start in college and manage this transition.

Download it here:  https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Part 1 of 3: Why does college feel overwhelming — even for strong, capable students?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, our clinicians explore why the transition from high school to college can be harder than expected. Students move from a structured, familiar environment to one that demands independence, self-management, and new social connections.

You’ll hear a moderated conversation led by Dr. Morgan Eldridge with Dr. David Friedlander and Dr. Adam Zamora that covers:

• Why anxiety and depression often emerge freshman year

• The impact of losing structure
• The emotional adjustment of leaving home

• How belonging affects mental health

College Readiness Toolkit

Our toolkit has guidance for teens — along with a section for parents — on how to get a good start in college and navigate this critical period of building independence.

Download it here:  https://childmind.org/topics/college/#toolkit

Talking to kids about racism and discrimination can feel intimidating. But in this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson and Dr. Isha Metzger discuss how to start the conversation early, keep it practical, and support kids in ways that match their age and situation.

What you’ll learn:

• How to convey a clear definition of racism that goes beyond “one person being mean”
• How microaggressions show up in everyday life, even when someone “didn’t mean it”
• Why kids might show stress from experiencing racism through behavior (withdrawal, irritability) or physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches)
• How to help your child respond if they experience discrimination
• How to teach ally behavior: what to say, when to get help, and why speaking up in the moment matters
• What to do if your child causes harm: Reflect → Repair → Relearn

Key takeaways:

• Start the conversation early and keep it going. Don’t wait for a single “big talk.”
• Use direct, factual language. Kids do better with simple, clear wording.
• Practice a few “in the moment” phrases your kid can actually say, like: “That’s not okay.”
• If your child is targeted: validate first, then problem-solve.
• If your child is the one who said something harmful: stay calm, name the impact, and coach a better next step.

From the episode: M&M exercise 

Use a small bag of M&Ms to talk about difference and unfair treatment:

• Observe differences (color, shape, cracked shells)
• Ask: “Are any better than the others?”
• Connect it to how people can get treated unfairly based on how they look
• Keep it simple: same on the inside, differences add value

Tips from the Thriving Kids tip sheet:

1. Talk about it. Kids are likely to encounter racism and discrimination at a young age. Put aside any discomfort and talk about these topics with your kids early and often.
2. Be direct and factual. When you’re explaining racism for the first time, it’s important to use clear, straightforward language.
3. It’s ok to show emotion. When talking with your children about racism or specific events that have happened due to racism, it’s okay to express your own feelings of anger, hurt, or sadness. This helps normalize these reactions and validate what your child may already be feeling.
4. Take a multimedia approach. Share books, movies, TV shows, YouTube channels or anything else with age-appropriate content related to the issues you are trying to tackle. These can provide additional information, context and characters for kids to relate to.
5. Listen and validate. Even young children are perceptive and may be scared or confused by things they’ve seen or heard. Ask open-ended questions and give them plenty of space to answer. Little kids can also express themselves through drawings or acting things out with toys.
6. Teach advocacy. Just as you may have encouraged your child to stand up for friends who are treated unkindly, teach them to speak out if they witness or experience discrimination firsthand – if it is safe to do so.
7. Plan a course of action. There’s nothing worse than feeling helpless, so if your child comes to you with a troubling experience or concern, help them develop a response. Remind them that it’s not always on them to respond, and depending on the situation, there may be reason to make a report with the school or authorities.

Further reading

• Free Guides and Resources – Dr. Isha Metzger
• Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids – Child Mind Institute

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson follows up on last week’s conversation with Dr. Joanna Kim about parental self-care and the invisible labor of raising kids. He answers listener questions about guilt, exhaustion, and how to make “filling your cup” realistic in a normal week.

In this episode, we cover:

• “How do I help friends who feel guilty taking time away from their kids?” Reframe from quantity to quality time. Try a one-week experiment: take a little time back, then notice what changes (energy, patience, connection).
• “I’m a chronic yes-person. What do I say no to?” Sort non-negotiables, want-to-dos, and energy drains. Practice saying "no" for a short window (a few days), then decide what boundaries should stick.
• “I get homework from my child’s therapist and forget. I feel like I’m failing.” You’re not failing. Your therapist wants honesty. Build a simple system for tracking and prioritizing, then accept that some tasks won’t happen every week.
• “I have no time. Work, dinner, bedtime, repeat. What can I do?” Start by naming what actually calms you (food/drink, movement, sleep, connection, faith/spiritual practices, quiet). Then look for small pockets to repeat, not a perfect routine.
• “Any clever tricks to get a break without my kids interrupting?” Tricks can work in the short term, but the long-term goal is modeling normal boundaries: “I’m taking 20 minutes. I’ll be back at ___.” 

Key takeaways:

• “Self-care” doesn’t require money or big blocks of time.
• Start with minutes, then build.
• Your goal isn’t more time with your kids — it’s better time with your kids.
• Boundaries often matter as much as adding new habits.
• If you’re working with a therapist/coach, missed homework is useful info — it helps you set a plan that fits your real week.

Self-care for parents isn’t selfish — it’s fuel.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Joanna Kim about what real self-care looks like for busy parents — especially those who feel guilty about taking a break.

We cover:

• Why self-care can feel like a privilege or unrealistic
• How to “fill your cup” in 1 to 5 minutes (no spa day required)
• The science of parent engagement and what gets in the way
• How sleep, boundaries, and saying no protect your energy
• Why modeling rest and balance matters for your kids

From tea with a daily quote to pocket Sudoku to sleeping in without guilt — this episode is about small, doable changes that help you show up as the parent you want to be.

Follow Dr. Kim’s Engaging Families Lab:
Instagram: @engagingfamilieslab
Website: engagingfamilieslab.org

Further reading

The Impact of Parental Burnout – American Psychological Association (APA)
Mental Health Resources for Parents – Mental Health America (MHA)
Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting – Child Mind Institute 

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers parent questions about child stress, anxiety, avoidance, burnout, and coping with big emotions.

Building on a recent conversation with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, this episode focuses on how kids learn to respond to stress — and how parent behavior can either ease anxiety or reinforce it over time.

Dr. Anderson addresses common situations parents face, including school anxiety, physical symptoms of stress, over-scheduling, achievement pressure, and burnout. He explains why avoidance often makes anxiety worse and how parents can support kids without pushing too hard or being too accommodating to their anxiety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How kids pick up on parental stress — and how to change your own venting habits
• Why avoidance increases anxiety over time
• Why anxiety often shows up as stomachaches or headaches
• Why reassurance can backfire — and what to do instead
• How accommodation can unintentionally reinforce anxiety
• How to support over-scheduled teens under college pressure
• What teen burnout looks like after prolonged stress
• Simple tools to reset a child’s nervous system before tests, games, or performances

This episode draws on evidence-based approaches from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), child development research, and clinical practice. It’s designed for parents of kids navigating anxiety, perfectionism, stress, and emotional overload.

Further reading

• (Video) How do I help my child cope with stress? – Child Mind Institute
• The Art and Science of Mindfulness – Child Mind Institute  

For more expert guidance and free family resources, visit:

https://childmind.org/resources

Is your child struggling with stress — or is it something more?

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, to explore the vital difference between managing stress and simply trying to avoid it. While it’s natural to want to "pave the road" and remove obstacles for our children, learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important emotional skills a child can build.

We discuss the "avoidance trap," where stepping in to solve every problem can actually make a child's stress worse over time. Dr. Gee explains how kids can learn to recover from hard moments and why your own emotional state as a caregiver is the most powerful tool for helping a stressed child feel safe and supported.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The avoidance trap – Why helping kids avoid stress can undermine their ability to build long-term resilience.
• The power of parental regulation – How staying calm and regulated helps your child cope when things feel overwhelming.
• Validation and labeling – Why identifying big emotions like "frustrated" or "scared" is the first step toward managing them.
• Challenging extreme thinking – How to guide kids away from "all-or-nothing" thoughts and toward more balanced perspectives.
• Filling the coping toolbox – Practical strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and creative expression to help kids bounce back.

In this Q&A edition of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson answers listener questions following last week’s conversation with Jennifer Wallace on toxic achievement culture and helping kids feel like they matter.

Parents asked practical, hard questions about failure, pressure, motivation, and emotional regulation. This episode focuses on striking a balance — between support and independence, structure and flexibility, and validation and limits.

Questions cover:

• Natural consequences vs. stepping in – Did you rob your child of a lesson by rescuing a forgotten school project? How to decide based on context and stakes.
• Kids who cheat because they hate losing – What’s developmentally normal at younger ages, when rule-following matters for peer relationships, and how to address cheating without turning games into power struggles.
• Paying kids for good grades – Does it increase pressure? How to use rewards thoughtfully and fade them out over time.
• When your child says, “I suck at this” – How to respond to negative self-talk and  helping kids move from self-blame to problem-solving.
• The brutal car ride home after a loss – Why “I loved watching you play” can backfire and how to ask your teen what support they actually need.
• When schools make failure feel high-stakes – What to say when mistakes lead to remedial groups or lost electives and how parents can act as “counter-programming” to achievement culture.

Key takeaways:

• There is rarely one “right” parenting move.
• Kids need both scaffolding and space to struggle.
• Pressure affects children differently.
• Validation doesn’t mean fixing feelings.
• Effort matters more than perfection.

This episode is especially helpful if you’re parenting a child who is sensitive to failure, a perfectionist, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations at school or in sports.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson speaks with Jennifer Wallace, an award-winning journalist and author, about her books Never Enough and Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. They discuss the culture of toxic achievement and how fostering a sense of mattering can serve as an antidote. Wallace shares research findings on mattering, practical strategies for parents, and emphasizes the importance of making others feel valued in everyday interactions. They also explore the impact of parental self-care on creating a healthy environment for children.

Further Reading:

• How to Help Kids Learn to Fail – Child Mind Institute
• Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future – Child Mind Institute
• How to Model Healthy Coping Skills – Child Mind Institute