In this Q&A follow-up to our conversation with Dr. Rubén Parra-Cardona, Dr. Dave answers eight listener questions about building and maintaining warm, positive relationships with your children, from toddlerhood through the teen years.
He covers questions, including:
- How do I stay present during child-led play when I'm bored out of my mind?
- Can I build a positive bond with a child whose personality clashes with mine?
- How do I stop my "inner drill sergeant" from taking over?
- How do I keep the relationship going when my teen won't talk to me?
0Key takeaways
• Being together is the most important thing. You don't have to be endlessly delighted during child-led play — just showing up can fill their emotional cup.
• It's okay to talk about your differences. When personalities clash, explicitly telling your child "I'm devoted to building our unique relationship" goes further than you might think.
• You can be warm without losing structure. Ditching your “inner drill sergeant” doesn't mean abandoning your values — it's a "yes, and" approach: maintain expectations while opening space for connection.
• Instead of questions, try descriptions. With a silent teen, use behavior descriptions, reflections, and praise instead of peppering them with questions — it resets their expectations and opens the door for genuine conversation.
• Positive Parenting Thriving Kids Curriculum
• Family Resource Center