Penn and Kim Holderness are very fun to watch on the Amazing Race. In last night's episode they said something extremely profound for marriages and families. As they were navigating and becoming a little bit stressed they expressed their core philosophy as a family. "We think that others are always doing the best they can." Wow! Isn't that a game changer! Being benevolent and kind thinking, the best of others, and not putting them under the bus is a great step in showing mutual respect and high regard for all of mankind.

Are you familiar with the classic book Grit by Angela Duckworth? There's rarely a word so important to successful relationships as grit. Grit is a combination of enthusiasm and endurance. It's having the courage to try different approaches to get the ultimate result of success. Grit is learning that losing is a necessary part of winning. Grit is the opposite of ghosting, quitting and not showing up. And grit is very very mundane, pedestrian, and boring.

Looking back on over two decades of being married with a girl of my dreams, I think there's a few bits of advice that I wish I would have given heed to over two decades ago. Find out what those bits of advice are in today's episode.

It was Earth Day and I was in the third or fourth grade as a recall. We were given a small pine tree seedling. I went home and planted it somewhere in our yard and didn't give much thought to it after that. Yet of course trees and marriages need more than just thoughts. Both need nurturing, nourishing. What's the one thing you'll do today that takes less than a minute but yet will yield huge returns as it blows your spouse's mind. For instance when is the last time you said I love you, or I'm sorry, or let me fix that right now?

Have you read the new book by the Holderness family? It's got a lot of insightful tips and ideas on how to finance better, become more intimate, solve contentious arguments and work through extended family challenges.

Dallin H Oaks once talked about ensuring that our strengths don't become our downfall by implementing humility into our lives. Alex Haley, the renowned author of Roots, once told the story of a turtle on a pole and then explainef a turtle doesn't get there by himself.

Like Boston said: Amanda.  Have you noticed that Amanda LaRusso in the Cobra Kai series is one of the few characters who remains true? She's often consistent in her love, forgiveness and expectations. She'll connect and she'll even confront those that she should but she'll do it in a calm manner. Be like Amanda. Seek to prevent confrontation. Don't be a jerk to a jerk. Be calm yet protective of everyone especially those on the margins. Expect the best of children and spouse. Be present. Calm. Collected. Connect.

If you're familiar with the movie Dune or the book Doom then you're probably familiar with what Lady Jessica said about the least common denominator. Ensuring that the essential component that is depriving your relationship is revived will ensure that your relationship thrives.

Oscar Wilde has an interesting statement that says everything popular is wrong. In today's episode discover some of the things that are popular but don't add any value to your relationship. And discover some of the things that add value to relationship that may or may not be popular.

Two Finnish words show us some great teachings. Kanssa means with and Vastaan means against. In the classic book on swimming called Total Immersion, we learn that you want to swim with the water and become slippery not against the water and try to plow your way through like a barge. Same goes for marriage, we should work with our family not against.