Throuple

Welcome to Throuple, the podcast that beats you up in front of your mom and steals your digital camera.

This week Liz, Beau and Monica play truth or dare in a series of revealing questions and dumb stunts. Beau expresses his gruesome funeral wish (hint: corpse on a gravitron). Liz wonders whether she’ll still suffer from motion sickness as a Victorian ghost, and also claims to be a victim of brown on white violence. The gang googles “bagel c*ck ring” only to find “Beef Bagel” on Urban Dictionary, a ring toss game played with bagels and an erect 🍆. Monica forgets that she and Liz watched the 2003 Katie Holmes Thanksgiving movie Pieces of April and they discuss its radical racial politics. 

The real hoes of Throuple reminisce about the sex bracelet/color party moral panic of the early 2000s. Liz recalls Nicole Richie’s iconic deadpan nude photo leak reaction and Monica recounts a lunatic mom from high school forcing her daughter to fight Monica (yes, Monica won the fight). The gang discusses P Diddy’s sexual assault allegations and Monica decides she’d like to stay conscious for the Bad Boy train. They discuss whether ear cheese is vegan and decide which plastic surgery they’d like to have performed on them (Liz and Monica select a cosmetic lobotomy). Beau describes two robberies and reveals he is actually the brown Robin Hood as well as a human trafficker. Lastly we discuss the difficulties of air travel with your alters. 

🍓 send us hate mail: [email protected] 

🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb 

🍫 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/ 

🍦 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod 

🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to Throuple, the podcast that brings kittens to the strip club. 

Freshly returned from vacation and raging over airport food and drink prices, Liz makes Monica and Beau guess which outrageous Florida Man news articles are real or false, from alligator weddings to alien-dragon battles. Beau grieves Obama’s abandoned promise to close dragon-infested Guantanamo Bay and questions whether someone really peed in the ice cream tubs at a Florida Coldstone Creamery.

As usual, the trio accuses each other of racism within the first 4 minutes. Monica recalls getting busted with avocados by US Customs, and explains Dominican airplane habits (Country Crock Tupperwares, paper plates, and fried cheese).  Casper-white Liz is delusional about getting a “tan” on vacation and Monica reminisces over obsolete candy audio technologies Hit Clipz and Soundbytes. 

Google provides mixed answers as to whether alligators can get drunk by eating a drunk person, and the gang searches for taxidermied pelicans on Etsy. 

🍓 send us hate mail: [email protected] 

🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb 

🍫 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/ 

🍦 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod 

🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to another episode of Throuple, the podcast that doesn't need to sober up, it just needs to get out of town for a few weeks and clear its head.It's Cinco de Mayo. The gang has been fully sober for 75 days, and it's time to relapse: live, on air, with 7 different types of alcohol. Beau schools us on the true origins of Cinco de Mayo. We try out our best gritos and contemplate a dystopian parallel reality where the French rule Mexico (baguette tacos??) instead of getting pummeled by albondigas.

Monica tells us her favorite story about a Mexican. Liz is deeply troubled by the lyrics of Jamie Foxx's 2008 hit "Blame It", and later has to be reminded that she's married. The trio contemplate the random dude from Ohio who may be behind those spicy OnlyFans texts. Beau tells the story of 2Fast2Fierce: Juarez (Familia).

🍓 send us hate mail: [email protected] 🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb

🍫 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/

🍦 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod

🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to another episode of Throuple, the podcast whose calves are unnervingly exposed to the air.

Liz threatens to call the ASPCA on Monica, Beau nominates Fergie as the new ASPCA spokesperson, and we make ChatGPT write the new Sarah-Mclachlan-style neglected animal song for Fergie. We blow Jack Harlow out of the water with our Glamorous remix “A-B-U-S-E-D  D-O-G-S.” Monica forces Beau to guess various internet slang and acronyms (we loved his GRWM version: “God’s Real Women Meet Up”). Beau discusses his long-con rizz and the gang makes it 29 minutes without accusing each other of racism. We reminisce about the low-quality weed of our childhood, the return of slay, and a bombshell drops: someone thinks the “A” in LGBTQIA+ stands for “Ally”. Plus, guess the internet slang that Putin invented!

Monica describes her perfect burrito, Liz whitesplains New Mexican food, and Beau slanders beets. The sigma girlies celebrate their one year friendiversary and reminisce over their sake-soaked first date walking through every aisle of Daiso. Monica tests the group: are these outlandish anime titles and plotlines real, or fake?? Featuring: Magical Girl Fight Fight, stagediving teen idol plaster busts, and a GOP nightmare/wet dream plot involving forced gender reassignment. Stay till the end to hear the full lyrics of A-B-U-S-E-D D-O-G-S, and till the VERY end to hear the dramatic AI remix.

🍓 send us hate mail: [email protected]

🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb

🍫 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/

🍦 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod

🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to Throuple: the podcast that free bleeds every Friday. This week, the trio reveals how they met, and as usual, accuse each other of racism. Liz reveals sordid details behind the viral Worst Art Job Listing of All Time. We discuss a Barbie slave ship, and why women are going to hell for wearing trousers. Monica forces Liz to get drunk on Mamajuana, the Dominican cure-all. Beau recalls digging in the trash on the first day of his high-powered New York tech job, and the gang's chance encounter with Alec Baldwin and his demented wife Hilaria. We discuss the most satanic fashion items (watch out Vineyard Vines--Beau's coming for you), and judge relationship age gaps.

Thank you to Emily Colucci from Filthy Dreams, Katy Schneider and Adriane Quintan from Curbed and Sarah Cascone from Artnet for their excellent writing on Tom Ball Sachs.

🍓 send us hate mail: [email protected] 🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb 🍫 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/

🍦 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod 🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to Throuple: the podcast that free bleeds every Friday.

This week, we perform The Bonnet Song, ChatGPT's woke but inaccurate ode to Black haircare. Liz show us her promotional deck for the podcast, and presents the idea that Scrubs are misunderstood anti-capitalist underdogs. Monica and Beau debate whether The General (of car commercial fame) is a scrub who thinks he's a capitalist, and discuss how Shaq's lust for money resulted in Papa John's new armadillo-meat Papadia, the Papadillo. We discuss the potential for an app that changes the background of your d*ck pics to a meadow. Plus: guess which one of us will fluid-bond for cash?

🍫 send us hate mail: [email protected]

🍦 our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb

🍓 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/

🍫 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod

🍓 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod

Welcome to Throuple, the podcast that gets high and accidentally burns its pizza.

This would be the fourth episode but we have no idea how to use recording technology. Maybe later we can hack into the mainframe and release the lost episodes, but for now, here’s Throuple episode one, the episode formerly known as episode four. We discuss barfing on tables, hemorrhoid cream applicators, falling asleep while cooking then shamefully eating the slightly less burnt parts off the pizza, and Beau's disturbingly low Uber rating. Enjoy the show!

🍫 send us hate mail: [email protected]🍓our spotify playlist: the perfect Saturday morning manic Brown Mom cleaning music and more: https://spotify.link/cWwg7YfmWyb🍦 instagram @throuple_pod to see barf comics and talk low to us in the DMs: https://www.instagram.com/throuple_pod/

🍓 throupletok: https://www.tiktok.com/@throuple_pod 🍫 buy us some hemorrhoid cream: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/throuplepod