The third slave uprising of Rome was crushed a hundred thousand men lay dead on the battlefield and another six thousand were crucified along the appian way and left to rot as carrion crow fodder a lesson for anyone else minded to rebel against the might of Rome.

If ever you should take a drink with a witch make sure you leave the very same night before the break of day or the dawn of light by which time you might just find yourself in a very unfortunate plight of being subjected to her JuJu cat's emasculation bite that leaves you as some sort of strangely sculptured hermaphrodite

A crazy little tune i wrote for lily's seventh birthday she was born on the 1st of may .

A song I wrote about an old friend who has now divorced and gone back onto the Mating sites looking for lust not realising that his old sex pistol has long since turned to rust . Men of curtain age with faint hearts and feeble flesh really they need to be careful whilst looking for a piece of fresh . I told one chum that his site" Bumble" might be better called crumble due to the dusty dispositions of its clients .

Back in the sixties heavy industry was extremely hard work the way the men eased their brutal burden was with non-stop humourous quirk today its seen as a social deride that one must hastily hide .humour has become a malignant tumor cut away by political correctness until its now all but a rumour

A short little ditty written for a friend who's living on just Cadburys caramel each day, it had to short under a certain time to fit into the length of an advertisement.

A song I wrote about associating with crazy people you become the company you keep at one stage I was living in a broken down squat with two BBC's a manic depressive and a trisexual dypsomaniac the main thing we all had in common was we were seeing the same shrink , everyone had an acronym such as RAC ,PCP , BFG etc

The Westminster war of brexit has spilt a lot of blood onto the Westminster backbenchers, but who will win?, the feudal few or the milky middle class crew .

A song written for my God-son Todd who aged five wanted a tune about a flea .

Some people seem to have quite an easy time finding their perspective partners whilst others such as myself it's been a perpetual penance ,you have Cinderella's shoe but you can't seem to find a foot to fit it .