a short song I wrote a couple of days ago whilst on a train back from London for a friend who's on a malteser diet.

A little ditty I wrote for lillian's birthday who was born on the first of may now aged nine .

a song I wrote for a friend of mine who seems obsessed with living on a diet of twiglets to lose weight

A little ditty for the virgin, queen, Elizabeth I who was nicknamed the blood queen due to her executing Lady Jane Grey and Mary Queen of Scots amongst many others. This Red Virgin Regina possibly scared most of her male suitors into importance being bathed in so much blood no wonder she was called the red widow .

What was once a stamp for a tramp or cut of the criminal class is now adorning the faces and physique of aristocrat, royalty and supermodel chic .

A ditty I wrote about rescuing a friend in need beware you quickly end up with ten mouths to feed and everything you've worked for you usually concede

A song I wrote about taking your wedding vows which my father did back in 1959 the preacher boomed blood and fire brimstone as if God himself were speaking which sobered him up from his stag night slake .

a short song I wrote and sang whilst on the Birmingham to Bristol train 11.42 to13.14 not a bad effort I sang it in the station car park the builders had stopped for lunch they thought I'd gone mad but two takes and it was done.

A song I wrote about being OCD and fixating about the small details of life as my companion dose on a daily basis , I have used 3/4 time for the verse for clockwork tension and 4/4 time to sooth into the common time of normality.

A song I wrote about living our lives as nocturnal belfry bats fuelled by booze and nose gay narcotics we'd flutter back at dawn after sharing shrink spiel and serotonin Smarties at all the high octane triple (P) ,  Piss  Powder and Pretence parties in Harrogate, is there any wonder that we all became neurotic suffering from nervous breakdowns and depression the Spanish au pairs around at that time always sounded and sang similar to Carmen Miaranda rolling their R's like a pair of castanets .