In this conversation, I talk with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Naomi Fisher about self-directed education, and why it can be such a powerful approach for neurodivergent kids, especially those with a PDA profile. Naomi shares why agency is so important in learning, how traditional school can chip away at a child’s self-worth, and what it looks like when we truly support demand-avoidant kids in ways that work for them. We also get into the challenges parents face when stepping outside the norm and why keeping the parent-child relationship at the center is key.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• Why agency in learning is essential for neurodivergent children to build confidence, reduce anxiety, and stay engaged
• How self-directed education supports children—especially those with PDA—by minimizing pressure and honoring their natural pace
• Why respecting a child’s right to say no is foundational for creating a safe, trust-based learning environment
• How understanding the cycle of demand avoidance helps reframe “bad behavior” as a response to overwhelm, not defiance
• Why shifting away from rigid definitions of academic success can open the door to more authentic growth and capability
• How prioritizing the parent-child relationship and finding community support helps families confidently navigate less conventional paths

Resources mentioned

• ⁠Dr. Naomi Fisher’s website⁠
• ⁠Naomi Fisher on Substack⁠
• ⁠A Different Way to Learn⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠Eliza Fricker Talks About Parenting a Child with PDA⁠ (Tilt Parenting Podcast)
• ⁠Eliza Fricker’s website⁠
• ⁠The Family Experience of PDA⁠ by Eliza Fricker
• ⁠Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook⁠
• ⁠Changing Our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of Their Own Learning⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠What Can We Do When School’s Not Working: An Illustrated Handbook for Professionals⁠ by Naomi Fisher
• ⁠Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, a mom of four, the former editor of the New York Times’ Motherlode column, and the author of the new book, How to Be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. In our conversation, KJ shares what she learned about happiness while writing her book, tells us what she believes is getting in our way and prevents us from finding happiness in the day to day (even when things are hard), and shares some strategies for building more happiness into our daily lives. I hope you enjoy our conversation! 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Why being “happier” is a worthy goal for all parents
• How leading with our kids’ deficits shapes our experience
• What’s getting in our way from being happier as parents
• How to make small changes to address challenges and weave more happiness into their daily life
• The importance of zooming out and getting clear on our big, personal goals
• Recognize how “in choice” we are in our parenting lives
• KJ’s thoughts on how to make screen time policies work better for families
• Why it’s okay (even good) for us as parents to be happy even when our kids aren’t
• KJ’s strategies for training our brain to go down the happiness path

In this episode of Tilt Parenting, I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.

When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.

In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it
• The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout
• Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads
• What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes
• How to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset

This week I'm talking with Jonathan Fields, a mega-firm lawyer turned award-winning author, serial entrepreneur, and expert in applied personal development and human potential. Jonathan is also the man behind the Good Life Project podcast, which is consistently ranked as one of the top podcasts in the world with more than 1,000,000 downloads/month and large global audience. I am one of those million listeners, and it was through listening to Jonathan’s podcast many years ago that I got connected to his books and a program he ran called Revolution U. Rev U was actually a significant support in helping me when I was first developing what would become Tilt Parenting. 

Jonathan’s most recent book is How To Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom, and so today I asked him to talk with us about his book and what we as parents raising different wired kids can learn about creating more purpose and meaning in our daily lives, even when we may sometimes feel as though we don’t have the bandwidth or energy or wherewithal to do so. I hope you enjoy our conversation!

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The impetus for Jonathan’s book How to Live a Good Life
• Why the 3 main “buckets” for living a good life are connection, contribution, and vitality
• Why nurturing ourselves and connecting with our purpose is a key part of being able to show up for our kids
• How learning how to “own the unknown” can eliminate much personal suffering
• Why early intervention with differently wired kids is so critical
• The power of cultivating more compassion in our lives
• What parents can expert in their journey of supporting their kids

We’ve been talking a lot on the podcast about the current pandemic and all the ways it might be affecting our kids, and how to support and help them through it. But today, my fellow parents in the trenches, it’s time to talk about US. I’ve heard from many of you in the last few months, and I can certainly speak for myself as well, that we need support and help too! So, today I’ve invited parent coach Sheryl Stoller to the podcast to talk about the idea of getting grounded and reintegrated with ourselves. And as an uncertain and unfamiliar school year looms ahead for most of us (and our kids), this seems even more critical to discuss. 

I love Sheryl’s compassionate approach to mind and body awareness, something she has no doubt gleaned as the mother of three differently wired children herself. In our conversation, we talk about the surprising ways that the stress of our current situation might manifest, the ABCs of Integration and what that means, specific ways to reconnect with yourself, and much more. I gained so much from this conversation and I hope you do too.  

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Sheryl’s background and how she came to this work
• How the culmination of stress over our lifetime can manifest in our bodies
• The importance of re-integrating within ourselves, and reconnecting with our bodies
• What are the ABCs  of Integration: Awareness, Body, Compassion
• Strategies and tips for implementing body awareness
• Sheryl’s words of wisdom for re-entry to school and new routines

I’m excited to bring to you a conversation that every parent needs to hear, and especially parents of differently-wired kids, and especially at this moment in time. The topic is self-compassion and my guest is Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, and the author of many academic papers as well as the books Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook. Kristin also co-developed a training program called Mindful Self Compassion and is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.

In our conversation, Kristin shares what she has learned about self-compassion, both through her research and her own experiences parenting an autistic child. She goes deep into what self-compassion really looks like,  why we are often more compassionate to others than ourselves, and shares some strategies for strengthening that self-compassion muscle both for ourselves and our kids. 

This is a powerful conversation and I promise you will finish this episode feeling uplifted, empowered to be more gentle with yourself, and perhaps most importantly, reminded that you are not alone. There is nothing we need to hear more right now. I’m so grateful to Kristin for sharing her wisdom and research. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• How Dr. Neff got into the work of self-compassion research
• What it looks like to practice self-compassion
• Why we judge ourselves so harshly and what keeps us from being a better self-friend
• What it means to practice self-comfort
• Strategies parents can use to accept and BE with their suffering
• How to teach kids and teens about self-compassion

Would you like to have tranquility by Tuesday? My guest, author, productivity guru, and mom of 5, Laura Vanderkam, is going to tell us how. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the one we are discussing today, Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. I’ve long been a fan of Laura’s books, and so I was excited to talk with her about Tranquility By Tuesday, and honestly, since reading it, I’ve started incorporating some of her strategies into my world as I try to be more mindful and aware of how I spend my time. The results have been pretty great. I know so many of you are dealing with overwhelm and burnout — my hope is that you’ll take away one or two nuggets that you can play with in your daily life to move the needle closer to tranquility.

During our conversation, Laura shared her definition of tranquility, the common myths that get in the way of building more peace in our lives, and why it’s so important for families to have adventures together. She also shared multiple strategies that I promise are easy enough to implement. And again, even though they might seem like small shifts, they can have a big impact in your world.

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• Laura’s definition of tranquility and pushing back against the perception of not having enough time
• Advice for parents who want to better manage their energy and find tranquility by Tuesday
• The barriers and myths that get in the way of building peace and tranquility
• Strategies to poke holes and reframe the stories that we tell ourselves
• Why it’s so important for families to have adventures together
• Simple “rules” or guidelines that can be game-changers in your daily life

A concept we have explored a lot on this show and in the Tilt community is agency — and always in the context of how to scaffold and support our kids in developing agency or helping them have a bigger sense of control and autonomy in their lives. But guess what? We — the parents and caregivers in our kids’ lives — we need agency too. And in this conversation, we’re going to be exploring how to expand our own sense of agency and personal choice so we can show up more intentionally to our daily lives as parents.

And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency. During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.

And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves. And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you. 

Things you’ll learn from this episode

• What trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodies
• Where to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own trauma
• What a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous system
• What agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to have
• What it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of control
• How agency and trauma are connected

For this episode, I sat down with mindfulness mentor Hunter Clarke-Fields, host of the Mindful Mama podcast and author of the book Raising Good Humans, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness for parents. I love Hunter’s empathetic and research-oriented perspective on the intersection of mindfulness and parenting, and I wanted to share her insight with listeners as I truly believe these practices are equally important, if not more so, for parents raising differently wired kids. 

In our conversation, we talk about the difference between mindfulness and meditation, using mindfulness practices to re-train our brains to handle difficult emotions, and the importance of not just self-care but self-compassion for parents. 

THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Hunter’s story and how she became interested in the intersection of mindfulness and parenting
• What is mindfulness and how it can help parents 
• What is the difference between mindfulness and meditation
• Why most of us block our emotions or become flooded by them and what mindfulness teaches us instead
• Hunter’s best strategies for parents whose kids have big big big feelings
• Why self-compassion is so important and how it helps us to raise good humans

Today, I’m happy to be sharing a rich conversation with strategic parenting coach Heather Chauvin about the plight many mothers of neurodivergent kids find themselves in — prioritizing everyone else’s needs over their own and why it’s so critical that we get out of this pattern. This is a deeply personal topic for Heather. The way she describes it, by living in survival mode as a parent to her three kids, she was robbing herself of joy, robbing her kids of joy by not being a present parent, and robbing her loved ones of fulfilling relationships. And then in 2013, the universe got her attention when Heather was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Going through that unexpected journey pushed Heather to take a deeper stand for change and explore how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. 

I wanted to bring Heather on the show for this conversation because I hear from so many mothers who are in various states of struggle in their parenting lives — pouring everything into their kids, running on fumes, sacrificing so much, putting incredible pressure on ourselves to do it all and do it well. Yet, as much as we love our kids and want to be their safe place, we can’t do that unless we are being that for ourselves first. Through her work, Heather has helped women realize that their needs are just as important and that 10 minutes daily can make a difference if you’re open to change. Lastly, even though this episode is framed for mothers, it’s a good listen for anyone who is a caregiver, especially if you’ve been feeling like your energy is low or frantic and that has become the norm. 

 Things you’ll learn from this episode

• How motherhood and one’s priorities change as our kids get older
• How trusting in yourself and your intuition can be a powerful ally in motherhood
• What “dying to be a good mother syndrome” is and why so many mothers are living in that space
• How Heather helps moms take the first steps toward choosing themselves and what it actually looks like
• How to approach choosing yourself if you don’t think you have the time