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Tim Cook calls up Elon Musk. “Good morning. Apple wants to buy Tesla. It’s incredible.” Elon’s into it but, one condition — “I’m CEO!” Ok, two conditions, Apple has to pay in DogeCoins. Kidding! I think! Kinda! Tim’s like, “stay CEO of Tesla? Cool, cool, cool, maybe” But Elon’s like, “Nope, hard nope. CEO of Apple.” Tim eye-rolls 360, “#$%^ off”, and then hangs up… Hangs up.

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