The kindest, most loving, most supportive thing you can do for others is to set a great example.

When you show someone that success is possible, that happiness is possible, that living life on your terms is possible, you give them a huge gift. They see your life and, no matter what’s going on in theirs, they can see the possibilities for themselves. You don’t have to do anything concrete for that person in order to lift them up, and you may never know the difference you’ve made in their life, and that has to be OK with you.

Living the life of your dreams shares that dream, amplifying the good you do in the world.

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How often do you appreciate? Appreciate a person, a pretty day, an unexpected break in a busy schedule – how often do you take a moment to notice the tiny gifts each day brings?

Appreciation is a skill most children have, and most of us, as we get older, learn to take things for granted instead of being almost in awe of them. Try to bring the appreciative child in you along with you through your day – be present and notice the goodness all around you.

I promise you, it’s there, and will make you feel so much less stressed when you remember to focus on it instead of on the issues and problems.

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Do you sometimes…or maybe often…fret about what others think about you, or how they perceive you? Taking that a step further, do you try to shape your behavior to look better to others?

In other words, you choose your behavior in a certain situation based on what you think someone else will think about your decision. You aren’t inside the other person’s head and you have NO way to predict their thoughts. You can’t control the way others see you, react to you or feel about you.

Give it up – be your authentic self, because you’re the only person on the planet who can be you.

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Is there something in your body that hurts?

For most of us, there’s an ouchie place or two that gets our attention on a daily basis. When you focus on it, you give it more airtime and power in your life. When you can joke about it, you lessen its impact.

After sitting down for a period of time, I’m getting a bit slow to get up. Ouchies! If someone asks what’s wrong, I usually just say that like a flower, sometimes it takes a little time to unfold. That gets a laugh and helps me feel better, too.

What light-hearted thing can you say about your ouchies?

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What is happening to you right now is temporary. No matter what’s going on in your life, good or bad, it’s only temporary.

The wonderful, magical thing about life is that it keeps moving and everything keeps changing. Enjoy the good-filled now when that’s happening, and tolerate the not-so-good-filled now when it shows up in your life, secure in the knowledge that it’s temporary. It’s all temporary. And you can handle whatever life throws at you, right?

You have so far – trust yourself that you can going forward.

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Are you worrying about something that’ll happen in the future?

In addition to flooding yourself with stress hormones right now, you have no way of knowing that what you’re worrying about will even happen. Heck, you have no way of knowing that the future will even happen!

Worrying is an indulgence of the brain that makes us feel like we’re doing something productive, when in reality what we’re doing is spoiling our day today. You know you have today…why not enjoy it instead of spoiling it with worry? If and when the thing you’re worried about shows up, you’ll deal with it. And it may never show up, so for now, just let it go.

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Agreement is good…and not essential.

One of the things that keeps life interesting is that we all have different points of view. That means we bring our own life experiences to whatever is going on right now, and often it’s those life experiences that can cause friction.

Because no two people have the same experiences, no two people interpret situations exactly the same way. You see something one way, the other person sees it differently, and when both people feel strongly tethered to their viewpoint, an argument can erupt.

Here’s how to not let that happen. When someone proclaims that they are right and you are wrong, just tell them – and mean it! – you’re right! In their head and heart, based on the experiences they’ve had in their life, they are right. That doesn’t make you wrong – it’s just a difference of opinion.

See how easy it is to not argue?

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Should is a punishment.

There, I said it – when you should on yourself or when others should on you, punishment is involved. When you say, “I should have gone to the gym today,” you’re wagging an imaginary finger at yourself, blaming yourself for laziness or distractedness or an inability to manage your time.

None of that is productive. If you want to go to the gym each day, shoulding on yourself isn’t the way to get it done. Lay out your workout clothes the night before, set your alarm a little early and go to the gym. Whatever you’re shoulding on yourself about, focus on the solution, implement it and move on.

Ahhhhhhh…adulting is fun!

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How do you react when there’s a big problem in your family or at work? You know, the kind where it’s the only topic of conversation and everyone focuses on what’s wrong…the injustice…the unfairness.

In the power and swirl of a big problem, it feels like you’re getting something done by talking about it with others. In reality, all you’re doing is training your brain to be more negative and notice the negative. This is not my opinion – this is backed by neuroscience and research into neuroplasticity.

When the conversation around you is focused on the negative aspects of a situation, find ways to focus it on the possibilities the problem highlights. Focusing on the solution trains your brain to be more positive and focus on solutions, leading to more success!

How do you feel about a liar?

What if I told you that most of the time, someone who lies to you has decent motives for it – would you feel better about that person?

Think about a time in your life when you told a lie – didn’t you do it to make the other person feel better than they would have felt if you’d told the truth? Or maybe you did it because, in that moment, you were feeling a little insecure and wanted to feel better about yourself? Or maybe you told the story the way you wish it had happened, not how it actually happened.

When people lie to you, there’s usually no malice behind their lie – there’s concern for how you’ll feel, a desire to have done better or concern for how they’ll be perceived. Instead of being angry, try being compassionate instead. You’ll feel better, and the relationship will be better, too.

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