If you have a staff that doesn’t get along, you know that’s bad. It’s bad for productivity, it’s bad for individual performance, and it’s bad for your mental wellbeing.

As the team leader, playing referee to people clearly old enough to know better is the last thing you need to spend your time on.

If it’s so bad you don’t even want to walk through the front door in the morning, try this – create a document with every staffer’s name on it, each name on its own line, with three or for blank lines between names. Print a copy of the list for each person on the team and hand them out. Tell everyone to write one nice thing about every person on the sheet using their non-dominant hand. You collect the sheets, cut them apart, and create a collage of the nice things people wrote about their co-workers.

Post it where everyone can see it, and watch the tension ease, at least a bit.

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What is your workspace like? Is it a place that feels comfortable and home-like, or one that’s sterile and bland?

If you can, give yourself the gift of comfort while you work. Put padded mats or rugs where you stand for long periods of time. Get an ergonomically correct, comfortable chair to sit in. These things are not frivolous – they’re the tools you need to do your job well.

Dad taught my brothers and me to always use the right tool for the job. You need the right tools for your job because your comfort directly impacts your effectiveness.

Look around your workspace – how can you improve your comfort in the place you spend a third of your day? Give yourself what your body needs so you can do your best work.

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Communication is the backbone to successful marriages, successful families, successful teams, and successful businesses.

Your own internal communication is important to tend to, too - when the voice inside your head beats you up, ask it to be more respectful. When it reminds you how good you are at leading a team, you and everyone in your circle succeed.

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Have you ever met someone who could not take initiative? They don’t ask how they can help, they’ll usually do what you tell them to do, but they can’t seem to see something that needs to be done and just do it.

How does that make you feel? Does their behavior irritate you, or make you judge them as lazy or uncaring or just plain stupid? Can you find compassion for them so you can deal with them better?

Maybe they’ve been beaten down by a parent or a partner who always belittled them or told them everything they did was wrong. Think about it – if that happened to you, maybe you would lack initiative, too.

Resist the temptation to beat them down more – find it in your heart to try to lift them back up.

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It’s probably not about you, so don’t own it or worry about it or dwell on it.

When someone goes off on you, no matter what the topic, what they’re really saying to you is that they’re having a bad day and taking it out on you. Don’t take it personally, don’t respond in the moment, and maybe don’t respond at all.

They’re going to vent, so let them.

Keep a placid look on your face and put imaginary duct tape on your lips. When they stop, they’ll either stomp out or glare at you for a response. Don’t respond hotly. If you have something soothing you can offer, say it. If you’re their supervisor, tell them the two of you will talk privately once they’ve cooled down.

And then get on with your day, secure in the knowledge that the tirade was about them, not you.

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Those who don’t read are no better off than those who can’t read. That’s a paraphrase of something Mark Twain wrote, and it’s true.

When you have a skill you don’t use, it’s exactly the same as not having that skill.

Many people come out of their school years and don’t read anything that challenges them or expands their mind. When was the last time you read a book that challenged your beliefs or expanded your knowledge?

Expand your mind – learn new things, explore cultures and places, and challenge what you think you know, all from the comfort of the inside of your skull. Read for ten or 15 minutes each day.

Because those who don’t read are no better off than those who can’t read.

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Have you ever been so mad about something that you mentally concocted scenarios of how you could get back at whoever wronged you? Oh, the sweet savoring of revenge!

It’s very human to use your marvelous imagination to plot your rival’s downfall, and it’s detrimental to your own mental wellbeing when you focus on revenge. Instead of thinking of how you could take them down, focus on lifting yourself up.

You survived, you saw a side of them that you now know exists, and you’ll move forward with more awareness of their character. Act accordingly, now that you understand them better. Don’t stoop to their level and don’t let their bad behavior ruin your mood or spur you into bad behavior of your own.

Chin up, dust yourself off, and get on with your wagalicious life.

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When was the last time the hair on the back of your neck stood up? Did you trust the warning and move away from where you were, or did you just forge on anyway, trying to rationalize why your intuition was wrong?

Bad vibes, also known as gut reactions, happen when your internal wisdom is trying to keep you out of danger. They are a primal reaction to a subtle change in your surroundings that happen at the beginning of your body’s fight or flight response.  

Trust your gut reactions – when you feel one, heed the warning instead of explaining it away or just plowing ahead. Trust the very intricate systems that work to keep you safe in the world.

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We all have different opinions, and all of us are right. Yes, even when the opinions are diametrically opposed to each other, each person is still correct to believe what they believe.

How can that possibly be?

Our opinions are informed by those who raised us, the experiences we’ve witnessed, and the experiences we’ve had. I like snakes and find them fascinating because Dad did and my 7th grade science teacher kept one in our classroom. You may think snakes are repulsive because that’s what you learned from your parents, and every time you see one you feel frightened. Each of those points of view is correct, based on each person's life experience.

Next time you bump up against someone with a very different opinion than yours, remember – theirs is as valid to them as yours is to you.

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Is your life what you want it to be?

Now and then, most people question whether or not they are in the right place in their lives. It doesn’t matter whether you define the right place as a relationship, a town or a career. Think about your life right now – do all the pieces feel like a good fit for where you are, or do you feel like one of them needs tweaking or maybe even a complete overhaul?

Before you make any major decisions, think about what you like and dislike about your life right now. Then think about the change you’d like to make – first, is the change even possible, and if so, are there others that you care about who need a say in what happens?

Before you set change in motion, can you make mental tweaks in your thought process to make things feel like they fit better? Make the changes inside your head first, and if they feel right, go for it in real life!

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