Today's Challenge

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is problem, and we’re owning it [cash register dings]. When I read Black Swan and other books by Nassim Taleb, one thought kept coming to me. Taleb is a convincing writer, and he has no problem pushing back at other thinkers he disagrees with. My recurring thought was to ask Taleb why he, personally, is the problem. This may seem like a strange thing to ask anyone, but I think it was a reaction to Taleb’s air of superiority. I’m sure that he is financially successful, and he may have even pioneered an approach to watching the markets. We humans have to remember and accept that we all have failings, though. Here, I’ll go first. “I am the problem because I focus most of my time on myself, turn a blind eye to most human suffering, and see money as success. It hurts a little to say these things about myself, but I think that they’re true. I also think that this kind of self-reflection and ownership is a step toward doing something about it.

Today’s concrete challenge is to tell or write why you are the problem. There is no correct answer; just be honest with yourself.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will tell or write why I am the problem.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who is able to see my failings and do something about them.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is resolve. Remember when the world believed that stick-to-it-ive-ness was a word? Maybe it still does, but resolve is the correct word. Resolve is your determination to see something through. My friend resolved to watch 365 films in one year. As the year drew to a close, he had to watch more than one film per day in order to catch up, but he did end up watching 365 films that year. I was proud of him. It’s easy to crap on a goal like this and think, “Why didn’t he use that same resolve to do something active or help others?” Well, probably for the same reason that you… Sorry. I’m getting defensive. The point here is that resolve begets resolve. When you see something through, you become the kind of person that sees things through. Oh, and just a little update… I mentioned in episode “40 - Obstacle” that I would put refinance paperwork in my own way. Well, that whole process required small sprints of resolve that will result in closing on the new loan next week!

Today’s concrete challenge is to use your resolve, grit, determination, or whatever you want to call it to complete one task today. Cleaning is a classic area that requires a little resolve, but you know what small challenge that you’ll need resolve to complete today.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will use my resolve to complete the task today.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who builds resolve through small wins.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is closeness. I’ve been asking my coworkers questions from the famous set of 36 questions from researchers Elaine and Arthur Aron. These questions were originally intended to help the duo study how two people fall in love, but they work in a variety of settings where you want to generate closeness. There are lots of settings where just a little prompting can have big returns: lunches with friends and family, study groups where you want a fun ice breaker, in-bed conversations with your partner. These are all moments where an interesting question can and does create closer relationships. The Arons proved it with their research and 36 questions. Extending on this idea, John Gottman and his company have put together the Gottman Card Decks. It’s a free app with hundreds of questions designed to promote closeness, and they sell physical cards, as well.

Today’s concrete challenge is to try out the 36 questions or the Gottman Card Decks in an area of your life where you’d like to create more closeness. Don’t be intimidated by the prospect of asking intimate questions. Some of them are as simple as, “Would you like to be famous? If so, in what way?”

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will ask one closeness-promoting question today.” Message the person or people that you will ask right now so that they can help you remember to do it.

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who seeks closeness in my relationships.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

36 Questions for Intimacy, Back Story

Behind the famous ‘36 questions that lead to love’

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is memory. One of my most treasured memories is a little embarrassing, but it taught me that not every situation is a place to joke around. Some of my cousins live in Florence, AL, and we would often meet kind of in the middle of their house and our house at my grandparents' farm in Lynnville, TN. These cousins have always been game for a laugh, so the get-togethers were some of my favorite times in life. On one particular stay, my grandfather took my oldest cousin and me to his mother's grave to place some flowers on Mother's Day. When we arrived at the cemetery, he turned to us and said, "There's a time to be a boy, and there's a time to be a man." This was his way of telling us to show some respect and not to joke around while we were there. I was less mature than my cousin and tried to get him to laugh at what we had just heard, but he had taken the advice to heart. I learned from his reaction that the time was now to put aside the joking for a little while.

Today’s concrete challenge is to write down or tell someone a treasured memory of your own. Go ahead and write down the first few ideas that come to mind, and keep it simple. A couple of paragraphs should be enough.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write down or share a treasured memory today.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who stops to reflect.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is stretch. My daughter asked me this morning why I do 10 minutes of yoga after I wake up. Adult routines must seem foreign to kids whose bodies can excel on a diet of Pop-tarts and mac & cheese. I told my daughter that aging frames become less flexible and more fragile. In contrast, author Nassim Taleb describes the human body as antifragile. In his book, Antifragile, Taleb writes, “Some things benefit from shocks; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love adventure, risk, and uncertainty. [...] The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better.” Our bodies have the potential to continue becoming stronger, but it requires more effort as we age. Free time becomes less plentiful, and as a result, adults become reluctant to stretch in meaningful ways.

Today’s concrete challenge is to stretch yourself. If you need physical stretching, do it now. If you need a little randomness, go for a walk right now or turn on an unfamiliar radio station. Stay flexible in all aspects of life by embracing adventure, risk, and uncertainty.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will become stronger by stretching in some way right now.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who stretches myself because I am antifragile.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is meaning. Last night, I woke up with a clear scene of how creating your own meaning drives out competition. I wish I had left myself a few more clues as to what that phrase means, but I’m gonna explore the thought for a minute. Let’s see, what’s an area of life where I feel the pull of competition? I guess running could qualify, because I would love to be able to run faster than others. It would be fun to win a race. I know, however, if that becomes my reason for getting out the door for daily exercise, the competition aspect will derail my enjoyment and consistency. Instead, I have given myself space to create my own meaning for daily running. I don’t have any race goals. I do have a personal 40 mile whale that I’m still hunting, though. Alright, I think I can see how the phrase, “creating your own meaning drives out competition,” applies to life. I still wish I had better described the scene from my dream, but getting back to sleep is usually my priority at 2 AM.

Today’s concrete challenge is to write down anywhere in your life that competition is hindering your enjoyment. Consider replacing that competitive drive by creating personal meaning in the activity. 

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write down at least one area of my life where competition could be replaced by personal meaning.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who creates my own meaning, rather than relying on competition for motivation.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is commit. I had a small talk with my daughter last night after she changed her mind about a commitment. Usually, she’s not one to flake out, and she asked if she had a choice of whether or not to follow through. I told her that she did have a choice, but I reminded her of an example from when I started this podcast. I had recently re-read Nir Eyal’s Indistractable, where he mentions burning $100 if he fails to exercise daily. I thought I had similar resolve in writing and recording a podcast episode per day. Well, my daughter noticed in the second week of publishing episodes that a new one wasn’t available and quickly asked for her payout, because I had told my two kids that I would let them split $100 if I failed. Naturally, I tried to wiggle my way out of responsibility by saying that I had consistently written an episode per day, but that wasn’t the commitment. My wife reminded me of that. I ended up paying the $100 to show myself and my kids the power of commitment. I don’t know if my daughter ended up following through on her commitment, but I’m satisfied that she has had an opportunity to reflect on it and choose her own path.

Today’s concrete challenge is to follow through. What’s that plan or event that you’ve told someone you’d do? I have a couple of home projects where I need to follow through on my commitment. I’m going to schedule some time this coming weekend.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will follow through on one commitment today.” Go ahead and write down your commitment and send a message if it involves someone else.

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who follows through on my commitments.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is fake, and we’re making it real. [crowd aahh] We are somewhat at the mercy of our biological wetware. However, our brains have a truly amazing property. They are able to be changed and shaped by our beliefs and experiences. An older guy told me about his journey with alcohol addiction, and he said a key part of recovery for him was a “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude. It should be noted that this was only one aspect of his 12-step recovery, but acting as if you already are a certain way is a viable and common approach to change. I could easily believe that this podcast won’t ever help anyone, but I choose to continue creating episodes in a kind of “fake it ‘til you make it” style until it eventually succeeds at helping even one person.

Today’s concrete challenge is to fake it until you make it. Try acting as if you’re already a success. What would a successful person do in your situation?

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will try one ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ activity.” Write down what that activity is and a time that you will perform it.

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who tries new approaches.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

"referee-whistle.wav" by Pablo-F

Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is feedback. This week, my son discovered one kind of feedback. He found that he can create feedback noise by holding his Pikachu-themed walkie talkies up to one another. Feedback from people, though, is a necessary part of life. We learn our place from others’ reactions to our behavior, and this process has the potential to be even harsher than electronic feedback. Do you ever get frustrated when you’re trying to show a family member how to do something? Communication is complex. Emotions of impatience and frustration convey to children that you’d rather not have to deal with them right now. As difficult as it might be, getting rid of the emotional component of reactions can help you and your family members stay calm with one another so that your intended feedback is not muddied by layers of negative emotional noise.

Today’s concrete challenge is to leave emotion out of reaction. There are, of course, times where emotions are a necessary part of the message you want to convey, but a high percentage of emotional reactions are not necessary or helpful.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will make an effort to give feedback without emotional noise.” You can also send a message to your family letting them know your intention so that they can help you stay accountable.

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who tries new approaches.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

Why Conversations Go Wrong - Hidden Brain

Clicker Training For Humans

Full transcript here 👋

Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is brush. I’ve found that delaying brushing my teeth at night can create a cycle of excuses. I think to myself, “Well, I haven’t brushed yet, so I can have a snack.” and “Just one more episode won’t hurt; I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” The simple fact that I haven’t done one of the final activities of the day means that I have one more excuse for staying up. I recently started brushing with my daughter in the early evening, and it’s a great way to make myself put a cap on snacking, model healthy behaviors, and rid myself of the excuse.

Today’s concrete challenge is to brush early. I think you’ll find that it feels great to put that one task behind you long before you start to get sleepy.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will brush early today.” You can also set a reminder to brush in your phone. Try to set it for the time you usually start winding down.

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who thinks ahead.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.