Yeah, we're simple people... but you knew that. We got all excited about the promise of a new buffet restaurant with piles of glistening shrimp... steaks... mussels and clams and desserts aplenty! Did we explode all over the table? How much have you managed to pack in in one sitting? Good news- Utah's Hogle Zoo is inviting federal workers into the zoo free- just bring your federal ID card and your immediate family. Just PLEASE keep your clothes on. Apparently their poor sea lion threw up a toddler's sock Monday... which leads me to wonder, where's the toddler?

(Screen cap courtesy of "Monty Python and the Meaning of Life) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aczPD...

The Clown Is IN The House With You!! You know how it is when your spouse is away and all of a sudden every creak and groan in your house sounds like a masked lunatic creeping down your hallway? The Todd had his sleep study in the hospital last night and both my children were certain the clown from "It" was about to climb through the window. I'm not sure what that says about their confidence in my protective capabilities...

(cover photo credit: Spider.dog)

Are you ready for the coolest job EVER? Imagine being a lighthouse keeper and hosting a bed and breakfast on an island by San Francisco for $130,000 a year? Todd and I have actually stayed at East Brother Lighthouse. Talk about a dream job. Turns out the multi-billion dollar space satellite Hubble gets fixed in the same way you and I handle a bad computer- we'll explain. And the two stupidest criminal stories from here in Utah we've heard of in a long time. Prepare to gnash your teeth

There's a lovely bistro in Paris where there's only one way to eat. Naked. France's "Nude Only" dining is, as you might think, very popular. But is it enough to keep the restaurant going? Who's ready to make a reservation?

Imagine guarding a group of prisoners alone on a road work crew- and you have a stroke. What do they do? If they're this amazing threesome, they leap into action and get help for you and save your life. Such a great Tell Me Something Good today! I

I don't think I've ever seen the Todd so emotional. Have you ever seen the gigantic UDOT snowblowers tackle snow high enough to bury you? It's a thing of beauty. Utah's air is now so terrible that environmental groups are actually suing the EPA to make the state comply with cleaning this mess up? Time to change your number... some poor guy ended up with over 150,000 text messages from a girl he turned down on a dating site. And in Tell Me Something Good- telling his friendly local Starbucks barista got an elderly gentleman a kidney transplant. A perfect match and a perfect story of friendship.

Super snowy days are always highly entertaining at Chez Collard, because we live on a ridiculously steep hill and it turns into a luge run for cars... how did you survive the snowstorm? Best Instant Karma EVER: a man attempting to kidnap a woman follows her into a karate studio and triers to drag her back out. The karate instructor and his students "restrained" the man for police. There's a beautiful story of a retiree in Price who created a prosthetic arm for a toddler with his 3D printer. Even with insurance, the arm would have cost his parents $12,000. The cost from the 3D version? You'll never believe it. (image credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/37873897@N06/)

What do you do when things fall apart? I mean, everything in your life is in pieces? Kirk Bentzgen- owner of the massive Performance Auto- is my favorite story of how to come back when everything looks utterly bleak. How do you come back from divorce, losing your business, losing your father and getting brain cancer? This man is a hero, and his path back is a great guidebook for all of us struggling with loss. Watch and be inspired.

Welcome to the Week of Meats. Our Cooking with Todd and the Toddler video is focusing on a decadent leg of lamb today- perfect for Christmas dinner. Good news for LDS sister missionaries, they get to wear slacks now- much better for freezing climates, eh? And in Tell Me Something Good, a man with a terminal illness spend his last days finding and wrapping gifts for his 2 year old next door neighbor. Gifts for the next 14 years.

How do you keep your kids from becoming wildly greedy during the holidays? How do you lower expectations without becoming The Worst Parents In The World? Dr Julie Hanks has the answer. The "Charity Vending Machines" at the Joseph Smith Memorial building have raised over $1.3 million dollars for local and international charities- the Todd and I are going down today to buy polio vaccines for Africa- it's open 'till December 31st if you want to purchase a little something. So the "Backpack Kid" is suing Fortnite for "stealing" his Floss Dance without permission... joining two other celebs suing over signature dance moves. Are you expecting a holiday bonus this month? According to a new study, here in Utah only 12% of us hoping for a holiday bonus is actually getting one. Sniff...

Happy halfway through the week. Who's got their gift shopping all done?

Jeffrey Dean Morgan may play the scary-ass Negan on the Walking Dead, but in real life, he's a total pussycat who rescues animals. You're going to love this story... Did you know here in Utah we pay 25% more than most of the nation for our Christmas trees? How handy that Todd is here with your DIY "60 Second Christmas Tree." Plus, best Christmas present. Ever. Buy the Dagget County Jail! Bed and breakfast maybe? Also, the hysterical live Tweet session from the daughter of a extremely Italian family who did the DNA test and found out... they're not. Italian, that is.