The Hidden Reason You Snap and 4 Things That Stop the Cycle | Toddler Toolkit Podcast

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, I reflect on a key insight inspired between my personal life and by an interview with Katie Krimitsos (coming on air soon!): why is it easier for moms to show compassion to their children than to themselves?

We dive into real-life scenarios where self-criticism depletes our patience, explore the concept of 'compassion leaks,' and discuss how this imbalance affects our ability to care for our kids effectively.

I share personal stories and offer practical steps for practicing self-compassion and maintaining emotional balance. Join me for an honest conversation about the importance of giving yourself grace and how it benefits both you and your family.

00:00 Introduction: The Compassion Dilemma
01:11 A Real-Life Example: Nighttime Meltdown
04:28 Understanding Compassion Leaks
04:44 Common Compassion Leak Scenarios
08:30 The Importance of Self-Compassion
12:47 Practical Steps for Preventative Regulation
14:44 Conclusion: Embracing Imperfection

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Toddler Fighting You? 3 Ways Parents Accidentally Shut Down Kindness

🎤I’m so honored to be a speaker in the Happily Family Online Conference (Oct 9–13) alongside Dr. Daniel Siegel,
More than 100,000 families are already joining in. Together, we’ll hear from 25+ parenting experts sharing practical tools for real family life—the messy, imperfect, beautiful kind.
👉 Get a Free Ticket Here. 🎫

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In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, we explore why toddlers often seem defiant and how parents might unintentionally suppress kindness in their children.

Learn the three common mistakes—missing the care, shaming the care, and focusing on the negative—and find out how to reframe these moments to foster kindness instead of conflict.

I'll share real-life examples, exact words you can use, and practical tools for parenting.

Plus, don't miss insights from the upcoming Happily Family Conference, featuring experts like Dr. Daniel Siegel. Tune in to strengthen your parent-child bond and nurture emotional intelligence in your kids.

00:00 Introduction: Understanding Toddler Behavior
01:00 Common Parenting Challenges
01:47 The Concept of Invisible Care
04:04 Three Ways Parents Shut Down Kindness
05:28 Real-Life Examples and Reframes
12:32 Biology and Negativity Bias
16:20 Growing More Kindness
18:05 Conclusion and Upcoming Events

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Realistic Fitness and Nutrition for Busy Moms ft. Athena Concannon | Toddler Toolkit Podcast

Most moms don’t fail because they lack willpower—they’re stuck in fitness myths that don’t work. In this episode, Athena Concannon reveals the truth that actually helps busy moms see real results without extremes.

Connect with Athena HERE:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/athenaconcannon/

Website: https://www.achievewithathena.com/

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I’m so honored to be a speaker in the Happily Family Online Conference (Oct 9–13) alongside Dr. Daniel Siegel! My favorite author in the parenting education and neuroscience space. 💛
-A lot of different people come to the Happily Family Conference… foster and adoptive parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, therapists, and coaches. If you live with kids or work with them, then this conference is for YOU. People attend from all over the globe.
-More than 100,000 families are already joining in. Together, we’ll hear from 25+ parenting experts sharing practical tools for real family life…the messy, imperfect, beautiful kind.
👉 Save your free spot and get your FREE TICKET HERE!

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Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Join us on today's episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast as we welcome Athena Concannon, a certified personal trainer, nutrition coach, and creator of the Balanced Body Project.

 Athena shares her journey from fitness enthusiast to helping busy women, especially moms, achieve their fitness goals without the extremes.

 Learn about her practical strategies, the importance of balance, and how to prioritize self-care in the chaos of motherhood. Athena also talks about the impact of mindset shifts and how to avoid the common all-or-nothing trap. Perfect for moms looking for realistic and compassionate approaches to health and fitness.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement
00:51 Athena's Journey into Fitness and Nutrition
04:22 Balancing Fitness with Motherhood
06:42 Overcoming the All or Nothing Trap
10:17 Realistic Fitness Strategies for Moms
23:13 Customizable Fitness Plans
28:37 Mindset Shifts and Client Success Stories
35:15 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

In this episode of Toddler Toolkit, we explore the difference between control language and connection language when dealing with toddler meltdowns.

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Learn why phrases like 'calm down' and 'stop crying' often backfire, and discover 12 effective swaps to help support your child's emotional regulation. We also discuss the importance of intention and body language in parenting.

Plus, hear about the upcoming Happy Family Online Conference in October 2025 and get tips on how to navigate meltdowns even when you're burned out.

00:00 Introduction: From Control to Connection
01:35 Understanding Control Language
02:44 The Importance of Connection Language
04:42 12 Helpful Swaps from Control to Connection
10:18 Real-Life Examples and Final Thoughts
12:25 Upcoming Events and Conclusion

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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

From Tantrums to ‘I’m Sorry’: Emotional Milestones Every Parent Should Know

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Episode Mentions:

3 Phrases That Calm Toddler Meltdowns Over Mistakes

What You Do in Your Child’s 'Big Emotional Moments' Changes Everything

Today's Episode:
Parents love celebrating first steps and words, but what about emotional milestones?

In this episode of Toddler Toolkit, we'll talk about key emotional milestones like empathy, self-calming, and remorse.

Join us as we share practical tips and real-life stories, including an embarrassing but insightful incident at Chick-fil-A, to help you recognize and celebrate your child's emotional growth.

Learn how to notice and name these important skills and how to support your toddler’s emotional development. Plus, hear about special announcements including upcoming conferences and our second anniversary celebration!

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Milestones
01:06 The Indoor Play Place Incident
04:35 Key Emotional Milestones
07:29 7 Notice and Name Scripts
09:40 Understanding Delayed Processing
11:21 Regret vs. Remorse
13:06 Supporting Emotional Growth
14:46 Announcements and Upcoming Events

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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

3 Phrases That Calm Toddler Meltdowns Over Mistakes

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

In this episode, Heather shares personal stories and practical tips for parents to help their toddlers build resilience. Through reassurance and a growth mindset, toddlers can overcome frustration and perfectionism.

The episode includes specific scripts for parents to use, discusses common toddler struggles, and emphasizes the importance of validating emotions and encouraging retrying. Listeners will learn how early intervention can have a long-lasting positive impact on their child's development. The episode concludes with an invitation to explore further resources and celebrate the podcast's achievements over its two-year journey.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast
00:02 Understanding Toddler Meltdowns
01:26 The Remote Truck Struggle
03:36 Teaching Moments from Accidents
06:28 Validating and Reassuring Your Child
09:29 Common Toddler Perfectionism Triggers
12:17 Building Resilience for Life
13:01 Exciting Announcements and Final Thoughts

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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Why School Drop-Off Can Get Hard & What to Do About Late Separation Anxiety

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit podcast, we discuss why separation anxiety can show up later than expected and offer creative strategies to ease drop-offs. Sharing personal experiences and practical tips like Jobs of Connection, you'll learn how to help your toddler feel more secure and connected during their transition to preschool or kindergarten. Tune in for helpful insights and support for handling these common challenges.

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
01:10 Understanding Delayed Separation Anxiety
01:42 Real-Life Examples of Separation Anxiety
02:50 Why Separation Anxiety Happens
05:13 Creative Solutions for Drop-Off Challenges
05:39 Jobs of Connection: Practical Tips
10:32 Conclusion and Additional Resources

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Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Understanding Your Toddler's Tantrums: Find Your Parenting Style

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

This episode was referenced for you to also listen to: 

What You Do in Your Child’s 'Big Emotional Moments' Changes Everything

Why Your Toddler Can’t Hear You in a Meltdown & What to Do Instead

Welcome to the Toddler Toolkit podcast! In this episode, we tackle toddler tantrums and the different styles parents use to handle them: the fixer, the shusher, the avoider, and the controller. We discuss why these behaviors happen, what might be missing in each approach, and introduce the balanced parent style for a healthier way to manage meltdowns. We'll also reflect on how our own upbringing influences our reactions and offer insights to help you become more intentional and self-aware in your parenting. Don't forget to grab the free guide 'Seven Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast' from the show notes.

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:22 Understanding Tantrum Styles
04:02 The Fixer Tantrum Style
07:45 The Shusher Tantrum Style
13:01 The Avoider Tantrum Style
15:13 The Controller Tantrum Style
18:01 Becoming a Balanced Parent
22:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

------------------------------------------------------

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Why Your Toddler Can’t Hear You in a Meltdown & What to Do Instead

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

This episode was referenced for you to also listen to: 

What You Do in Your Child’s 'Big Emotional Moments' Changes Everything

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit podcast, we dive into the power of holding space for your toddler's big emotions without trying to fix or debate them. Learn three core practices: holding space, matching and leading the energy down, and repairing over perfection. Discover practical steps to calm your child's nervous system, turning meltdowns into teachable moments. Get insights on how to use your presence, body language, and tone to create safety and connection. Plus, hear a real-life story about handling playground dynamics effectively. For more resources, check out the free guide on solving toddler struggles in the show notes.

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:03 Understanding the Power of Holding Space
00:52 Mindset Shift: You Don't Have to Fix Every Meltdown
01:50 Core Practice 1: Holding Space
05:32 Core Practice 2: Match, Then Lead the Energy Down
06:45 Core Practice 3: Repair Beats Perfection
08:15 Real-Life Example: Holding Space at the Park
12:22 Five Lessons from the Story
15:47 Final Thoughts and Resources

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

------------------------------------------------------

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Bribes vs. Earning: Effective Toddler Parenting Strategies

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Listen to this episode that pairs with this one, 

Get Your Toddler to Cooperate Without Bribes or Threats

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, we explore the critical difference between bribing and helping toddlers work towards something.
 
The podcast covers why this distinction matters, real-life examples, and effective strategies to foster intrinsic motivation in children. We also discuss why bribes often backfire, the hierarchy of motivation, and provide practical tips from the host's background as a special education teacher and toddler parenting coach.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
01:13 Understanding Bribes vs. Earning Rewards
03:01 Examples and Real-Life Analogies
05:42 Proactive Strategies and Habit Building
16:31 Hierarchy of Motivation
19:34 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

------------------------------------------------------

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog