In this episode Beautifulll and Ace have special guests Ashley and Alona! Ashley and Alona are avid listeners and join us to talk about their experience with individual therapy and couples therapy and how effects their relationship.
Below are the tools Alona & Ashley talked about as part of their therapy exercises! Use them!!
1. Check-ins:
Set a time/day weekly that typically works best for you to have them. If that doesn't work, schedule out a time/day after each check-in to make sure it's in your calendar. Please feel free to use whatever language you feel comfortable with but be mindful to stay within the realms of this template.
Check-In Template
1. Individual Check-In:
- On a scale of 1-10, how has your week been?
- What made it a ___ ? [Ex. What made it a 6?]
- How can you go from a ___, to a ___? [Ex. How can it go from a 6 to a 7?]
2. Couple Check-In:
- On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling in our relationship this week?
- What made it a ____?
- How can it go from a ___, to a ____?
*Key- SMALL goals and take it one goal at a time. We're not aiming to jump 2 numbers, we're just aiming to go from one number to the next.
Also- don't be afraid to take notes. When your partner is telling you how they go from one number to the next, they are giving you the answer key. Write some thoughts down on your phone so you can be intentional about being a part of getting them to the next level.
2. I-Feel Statements:
I feel _______ when ________. I'd prefer _________
Again, these statements help to ward off blaming your partner and helps you to stay focused on you and your feelings. I've also attached an emotions wheel for you to utilize.
3. Speaker/Listener
You express something to your partner using 4 sentences or less. Your partner repeats what they've heard and then you respond in 4 sentences or less.
This helps you to think about what you're going to say before you say it. It also keeps you on task and makes sure you are interpreting what your partner is saying correctly.
