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"Many people identify as Soft Doms in BDSM. There are several different types of Doms that people can identify as in the world of BDSM; some dominants have a little of everything, whereas others only identify as a specific Dom type.
What is a Soft Dom? They are Dom’s with a softer approach to BDSM, and they use a more delicate approach when engaging with their submissives. A Soft Dom isn’t a sadist or into humiliation. Instead, they enjoy giving their submissives pleasure, often engaging in more sensual play like wax play, forced orgasms, or temperature play. Soft Doms prefer having connections with their submissives or power. They will never push past your boundaries or limits; they aim to please.
A Soft Dom will praise their submissive and encourage them as opposed to instructing them to do tasks. A soft Dom will rarely challenge you as aggression is not their style, and they are definitely not the type to punish their submissives. They might instead tell you they are disappointed in something you did, but this will be done in an encouraging tone not to hurt their submissives feelings.
Even though Soft Dom’s arent into impact play or punishments, this does not mean they would not engage in this kind of play to help their submissives achieve subspace or if their submissive needs cathartic spankings or floggings. It will, however, hurt them more than it hurts you. If your Soft Dom does engage in impact play for your benefit, you will need to give them extra aftercare at the end of the scene. They will feel guilty that they hurt you and possibly ask you to forgive them. You will need to ensure that your Soft Dom feels appreciated and admired after this type of play as they might experience Dom drop afterward because they will be conflicted about this.
Daddy Doms are often considered Soft Doms as they are more patient and nurturing with their submissives. Soft Dom’s use mental dominance over physical dominance; it is all about encouraging their submissives to be good and the best version of themselves. They care, please, and protect their submissives.
P.S. "My favorite types of sex are group sex and public sex within law and reason!" - Antonio Myers
"1. All human beings possess dignity, worth and basic rights.
2. We should strive to remake this world into one that affords every human being the opportunity for a rich, rewarding life full of joy and creative fulfillment, and as free as possible from pain and suffering.
3. We stand a better chance of progressing toward this goal if we understand what really works to promote human flourishing.
4. To gain this understanding, reason, science and critical inquiry must be given free rein to discover the truth about the world, human nature, and what makes people happy.
5. Moral codes function to protect freedoms, promote mutual cooperation and advance collective well being; they should be designed (and occasionally redesigned) with that in mind.
6. Fear, dogma, superstition, blind faith, wishful thinking, supernatural “explanations,” and tribal or ideological loyalties should all be avoided, for they tend to close minds, block understanding, and de-motivate the critical inquiry necessary for scientific and moral progress."
"People should be willing to learn and grow from each other with humility and gratitude whether they share the same backgrounds or not. I am not too much or too little in all areas of my life, I am just right in all areas of my life. I hope to have as much ethical, humane, holistic, enthusiastic, mutually informed sex with as many ethical, human, holistic, enthusiastic, mutually informed sex partners as possible." - Antonio Myers
"Okay, now that you (hopefully) have a clearer picture of sex-positivity, let’s look at some ways you can develop this perspective within yourself!
Here are some things that sex positivity is NOT:
"In my life, I am not a person of vanity. I am not a person of excessive pride in or admiration of my own appearance or achievements. I am not: conceit, conceitedness, self-conceit, narcissism, prideful self-love, prideful self-admiration, prideful self-regard, prideful self-absorption, prideful self-obsession, prideful self-centeredness, egotism, egoism, egocentrism, egomania, pride, haughtiness, arrogance, boastfulness, swagger, imperiousness, and cockiness. I am not the quality of being worthless or futile. I am not: futility, uselessness, pointlessness, worthlessness, purposelessness, idleness, fruitlessness, and profit-less-ness.
I am not a person who engages in self-destructive behavior. Self-destructive behavior is any behavior that is harmful or potentially harmful towards the person who engages in the behavior.
Self-destructive behaviors have been shown by many people throughout the years. It is on a continuum, with one extreme end of the scale being suicide. Self-destructive actions may be deliberate, born of impulse, or developed as a habit. The term however tends to be applied toward self-destruction that either is fatal, or is potentially habit-forming or addictive and thus potentially fatal."
"1. The love of doin’ it
If sex positivity were as simple as enjoying the nasty, there would be hella sex positive people (and I likely wouldn’t be writing this!). It’s not that simple.
The main problem is that people judge others for the way they have sex. That shit's unacceptable.
Also, sex-loving people can “convince” their dates to have sex with them. Sex-loving people can be both queer and transphobic. These types of sex-loving people clearly don’t believe in the fundamentals we just covered (seeing sex as healthy and accepting/respecting the sexual choices of others).
2. Thinking everyone should like sex because you do
Sex positivity is most definitely NOT thinking everyone should like sex. People have been hurt, they’ve been turned off, they’ve felt scared… whatever the reason may be, all of those reasons are valid. You don’t have to be able to relate - and you don’t get to judge.
3. Having a simplified relationship with sex
The word positivity makes people think of an uncomplicated and easy relationship with sex. Sex positivity has nothing to do with this. Instead, it encompasses the many different ways we experience sex. Sex can be bland, painful, shocking, and so many other things. It should exist for everyone - asexual people, disabled people, rape survivors, and so on. It’s rare to have a simple relationship with one’s own sexuality.
The cultural movement that is sex positivity exists because of the dark and complex experiences and sentiments felt by so many.
4. Sexually objectifying others
Sex positivity is sometimes used as a means to objectify others. Personally, I can recall numerous occasions where a guy sloppily hitting on me transformed into him boasting about being a sex positive man. Dude. Sex positivity is not treating people like things!
You are never being sex positive if you project your desires onto other people.
One of the biggest misconceptions about sex positivity is that it means you want to have sex all the time, with anybody. Being sex positive is not about the amount or frequency of the sex you are having, but rather your attitude about sex. Sex positivity recognizes that having sex is healthy, but so is not having sex. You can be sex positive and asexual, autosexual (only have sex with yourself), sexually active with partners, and anything in between.
Not everyone is sexual or sees sex as an essential part of their life. Part of sex positivity is acknowledging that sometimes people don’t want to have sex, either in the moment, or at all. On the other hand, wanting and having a lot of sex is equally healthy and valid. And while sex positivity means having the freedom to talk about sex with no shame, not everyone is comfortable talking or hearing about sex. Keep in mind that being open or private about sex is not a reflection of your attitude, but rather something to consider depending on how comfortable your company is."
"I notice that the movie American Gangster was a missed holy opportunity for the church to publicly address:
Crimes Against humanity
How can Christians view media depictions of human traumas and not create Christlike avenues on these things in order to bring wholeness to people's lives? Why not create ministries with trained help being of valuable assistance? Church people want to be blessed, but they don't want to be a blessing. Churches should have commissions with survivors (secular and faith-based), trained experts, laypeople, and survivor-loving people. The church should understand that it's okay to lose money for true moral excellence and keeping crime-committing monsters out of the church. Their morality is immorality. They're just like "the world!"
I think the church should have partnered with entities (secular and faith-based) that are trained to combat these injustices and are psychology-based trained professionals also. Workshops should be created out of all issues that people are struggling with whether they are in the congregation or not. Not everything can be solved and resolved with sermon series and ministries. It shouldn't be a "pulling teeth and nail" situation to get the church to address scary taboos. It also shouldn't be the church mentioning these scary taboos because they are tired of "feeling pressured by society." Apparently, society is godlier than the church because society publicize the need to confront what's swept under the rug. Basyle (“Boz”) Tchividjian said: "Just because you call yourself a church doesn't make you one. Just because you call yourself a pastor doesn't make you one." I say that just because you call yourself a Christian doesn't make you one. The church has to change for the better if you want people to stay in church instead of leaving it. Purity culture has go to go, the rock star evangelical pastor culture has got to go, and preaching uninterrupted during sermons has got to go. The Body of Christ doesn't exist for the most part. How can the church call itself the church or The Body of Christ due to the denominational in-fighting, and not agreeing on the basic of Jesus? The church refuses to give its all to Jesus." -ME
"Humanism is a rational philosophy informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by compassion. Affirming the dignity of each human being, it supports the maximization of individual liberty and opportunity consonant with social and planetary responsibility. It advocates the extension of participatory democracy and the expansion of the open society, standing for human rights and social justice. Free of supernaturalism, it recognizes human beings as a part of nature and holds that values-be they religious, ethical, social, or political-have their source in human experience and culture. Humanism thus derives the goals of life from human need and interest rather than from theological or ideological abstractions, and asserts that humanity must take responsibility for its own destiny.
– The Humanist Magazine
Humanism is the light of my life and the fire in my soul. It is the deep felt conviction, in every fiber of my being that human love is a power far transcending the relentless, onward rush of our largely deterministic cosmos. All human life must seek a reason for existence within the bounds of an uncaring physical world, and it is love coupled with empathy, democracy, and a commitment to selfless service which undergirds the faith of a humanist.
Humanism is an approach to life based on reason and our common humanity, recognizing that moral values are properly founded on human nature and experience alone.
"CULT SURVIVAL
Surviving and escaping a cult is an experience that often leaves you feeling alone, isolated, and unsure of what is next. Cult survivors often suffer serious abuse, life threatening situations, and gaslighting. It is hard to find people who understand what a cult survivor has been through. When a survivor mentions the cult they were a part of, they are often met with shame - “How could you actually believe that? You had to have known it was a cult… right?” So many people who have escaped a cult need to process what they have been through, but have limited resources to do this. Therapy is an excellent option if you have survived a cult. It can help you neutralize painful memories, create new meaning in your life, and regain the power that was lost through years of systematic abuse.
If you suspect you are in a cult, or you have a loved one in a cult, here are a few questions you can consider:
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may consider talking to somebody about your situation. It may not be safe to immediately leave a cult, so if you or a loved one is in this situation please do not make a hasty decision. Consult with a professional like a therapist who can help you strategize an exit.
"Richard Dawkins’ Belief Scale Scoring Rubric
RANKINGS
Jesus of Nazareth (John 3:16): “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” score: 1.0
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Martin Luther King Jr. “A physical heaven and a physical hell are inconceivable in a Copernican world … for us immortality will mean a spiritual existence.” score: 2.8
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Pascal’s Wager (Blaise Pascal):If there is a God, He is infinitely incomprehensible, since, having, neither parts nor limits, He has no affinity to us. We are then incapable of knowing either what He is or if He is. [So] you must wager. Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager then without hesitation that he is.”score: 3.4
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Woody Allen: “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank” score: 3.9
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Albert Einstein: “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” score: 4.0
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Thomas Jefferson: “Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.” score: 4.2
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Mark Twain: “The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it…” score: 4.8
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Buddha: Neither deny or accept a creator. score: 5.0
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Carl Sagan: “An atheist has to know a lot more than I know. An atheist is someone
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Richard Dawkins: “On a scale of seven, where one means I know he exists, and seven I know he doesn’t, I call myself a six. That doesn’t mean I’m absolutely confident, that I absolutely know, because I don’t.” score 6.0
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Christopher Hitchens: “Once you assume a creator and a plan, it makes us objects in a cruel experiment whereby we are created sick and commanded to be well, and over us to supervise this is installed a celestial dictatorship. A kind of divine North Korea.” score: 7.0."
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