TonioTimeDaily

TonioTimeDaily

By Antonio MyersSociety & Culture
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TonioTimeDaily episodes

  • Soft Dom

    "Many people identify as Soft Doms in BDSM. There are several different types of Doms that people can identify as in the world of BDSM; some dominants have a little of everything, whereas others only identify as a specific Dom type.

    What is a Soft Dom? They are Dom’s with a softer approach to BDSM, and they use a more delicate approach when engaging with their submissives. A Soft Dom isn’t a sadist or into humiliation. Instead, they enjoy giving their submissives pleasure, often engaging in more sensual play like wax play, forced orgasms, or temperature play. Soft Doms prefer having connections with their submissives or power. They will never push past your boundaries or limits; they aim to please.

    A Soft Dom will praise their submissive and encourage them as opposed to instructing them to do tasks. A soft Dom will rarely challenge you as aggression is not their style, and they are definitely not the type to punish their submissives. They might instead tell you they are disappointed in something you did, but this will be done in an encouraging tone not to hurt their submissives feelings.

    Even though Soft Dom’s arent into impact play or punishments, this does not mean they would not engage in this kind of play to help their submissives achieve subspace or if their submissive needs cathartic spankings or floggings. It will, however, hurt them more than it hurts you. If your Soft Dom does engage in impact play for your benefit, you will need to give them extra aftercare at the end of the scene. They will feel guilty that they hurt you and possibly ask you to forgive them. You will need to ensure that your Soft Dom feels appreciated and admired after this type of play as they might experience Dom drop afterward because they will be conflicted about this.

    Daddy Doms are often considered Soft Doms as they are more patient and nurturing with their submissives. Soft Dom’s use mental dominance over physical dominance; it is all about encouraging their submissives to be good and the best version of themselves. They care, please, and protect their submissives.

    Soft Doms are the gentleman of the BDSM realm, and you will crave their affection and encouragement once you understand their form of dominance."

    P.S. "My favorite types of sex are group sex and public sex within law and reason!" - Antonio Myers

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    58 min
  • Specific Principles of Humanism. What Does It Really Mean to Be Sex Positive?
    "What sex positivity might look like
    • Giving yourself permission to rewrite your sexual script
    • Allowing yourself and others the freedom to talk authentically about sex
    • Having open and honest conversations with your partner(s) about your sexual wants and desires, needs, preferences, etc
    • Respecting sexual preferences of others, especially if these preferences are opposite/different to your own
    • Establishing and communicating sexual boundaries
    • Fostering a more positive relationship with your body and/or body image; exploring your body and its unique anatomy
    • Engaging in safe sex practices and prioritizing consent
    • Advocating for more comprehensive sex education for children in the school system
    • Building awareness around policies and organizations that support ethical sexual freedom
    • Increasing awareness around the needs of the LGBTQIA+ community, folks with disabilities, sex workers, and other sexual minorities
    • Attuning to an individual’s chosen pronouns
    • Acknowledging the impact of racism and sexism (and other intersecting identities) on sexual expression and experience
    • Creating space for others to engage in consensual sexual behaviors without judgment
    • Engaging in self-inquiry and thoughtful reflection around your reactions, biases, and negative/unhelpful assumptions toward sex."
    • "1. All human beings possess dignity, worth and basic rights.

      2. We should strive to remake this world into one that affords every human being the opportunity for a rich, rewarding life full of joy and creative fulfillment, and as free as possible from pain and suffering.

      3. We stand a better chance of progressing toward this goal if we understand what really works to promote human flourishing.

      4. To gain this understanding, reason, science and critical inquiry must be given free rein to discover the truth about the world, human nature, and what makes people happy.

      5. Moral codes function to protect freedoms, promote mutual cooperation and advance collective well being; they should be designed (and occasionally redesigned) with that in mind.

      6. Fear, dogma, superstition, blind faith, wishful thinking, supernatural “explanations,” and tribal or ideological loyalties should all be avoided, for they tend to close minds, block understanding, and de-motivate the critical inquiry necessary for scientific and moral progress."

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      41 min
    • 4 Steps To Being More Sex-Positive

      "People should be willing to learn and grow from each other with humility and gratitude whether they share the same backgrounds or not. I am not too much or too little in all areas of my life, I am just right in all areas of my life. I hope to have as much ethical, humane, holistic,  enthusiastic, mutually informed sex with as many ethical, human, holistic, enthusiastic, mutually informed sex partners as possible." - Antonio Myers

      "Okay, now that you (hopefully) have a clearer picture of sex-positivity, let’s look at some ways you can develop this perspective within yourself!

      1. One facet of being sex-positive is not shaming or judging others for their sexual (or nonsexual) lifestyles. This, of course, means developing a more inclusive and nonjudgmental mindset around sex. You can challenge any prejudice by saying to yourself, “Why do I react negatively when I hear about open relationships?  Where does that instinct come from?” This process is called self-awareness and leads to a greater understanding of how we react to things we don’t understand or have been taught to judge. Open-mindedness is one way to move toward sex-positivity.
      2. Another step needed to adopt a sex-positive approach is to educate yourself.  We often judge others simply because we don't know much about that topic, sex included. Read some books or articles on the subject. Make the effort to understand diverse consensual sexual practices. This is the key – you do not need to be interested in participating in those diverse practices in order to be sex-positive! What is odd to you is perhaps perfect for someone else. That is how this works.
      3. Sex-positivity requires an ongoing commitment to becoming more and more inclusive and aware. It requires re-training your brain away from the automatic thought of “slut” when you see a woman wearing revealing clothing. You must challenge the stereotypes and labels we have placed others under. It also means speaking up and being brave when others use language that is exclusive and dehumanizing, and asking why that person is using that language to describe others whose sexual practices do not match theirs.
      4. Talking about consent is perhaps the most important piece of the pie. Everyone benefits from understanding that the absence of a “no” is not a “yes” when it comes to sex. It is an absolute requirement of being sex-positive to understand consent and its importance in all sexual practices. Sex-positivity is a way we can celebrate our humanness, the one common thread connecting everyone.
      5. Here are some things that sex positivity is NOT:

        • Simply enjoying sex. If that were the case, we would have a lot more sex-positive people in the world! Plenty of people who enjoy sex still place shame and stigma on others who have different sexual practices.
        • Believing that everyone should have sex and enjoy it. The reasons some folks have for not engaging in sex are valid, and should always be respected.
        • Being hypersexual, with no boundaries, and having sex with anyone and everyone all the time.
        • Sexually objectifying others, and ignoring power dynamics and intersectionality.
        • Having an uncomplicated relationship with sex.
        • Lastly, I want to share a quote from Miri Mogilevsky, a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism. “I want a sex positivity that is here for all the trauma survivors, all the asexual and aromantic folks, all the people who don’t love their bodies, everyone who’s ever felt ambivalent about sex, and anyone who feels like sex has done them more harm than good.”
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          33 min
        • There is no vanity and no self-destructive behavior about my personal life and my professional life!

          "In my life, I am not a person of vanity. I am not a person of excessive pride in or admiration of my own appearance or achievements. I am not: conceit, conceitedness, self-conceit, narcissism, prideful self-love, prideful self-admiration, prideful self-regard, prideful self-absorption, prideful self-obsession, prideful self-centeredness, egotism, egoism, egocentrism, egomania, pride, haughtiness, arrogance, boastfulness, swagger, imperiousness, and cockiness. I am not the quality of being worthless or futile. I am not: futility, uselessness, pointlessness, worthlessness, purposelessness, idleness, fruitlessness, and profit-less-ness.

          I am not a person who engages in self-destructive behavior. Self-destructive behavior is any behavior that is harmful or potentially harmful towards the person who engages in the behavior.

          Self-destructive behaviors have been shown by many people throughout the years. It is on a continuum, with one extreme end of the scale being suicide. Self-destructive actions may be deliberate, born of impulse, or developed as a habit. The term however tends to be applied toward self-destruction that either is fatal, or is potentially habit-forming or addictive and thus potentially fatal."

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          22 min
        • Affirmations of Humanism
          "Affirmations of Humanism
          A Statement of Principles
          Drafted by Paul Kurtz
          We are committed to the application of reason and science to the understanding of the universe and to the solving of human problems.We deplore efforts to denigrate human intelligence, to seek to explain the world in supernatural terms, and to look outside nature for salvation.We believe that scientific discovery and technology can contribute to the betterment of human life.We believe in an open and pluralistic society and that democracy is the best guarantee of protecting human rights from authoritarian elites and repressive majorities.We are committed to the principle of the separation of church and state.We cultivate the arts of negotiation and compromise as a means of resolving differences and achieving mutual understanding.We are concerned with securing justice and fairness in society and with eliminating discrimination and intolerance.We believe in supporting the disadvantaged and the handicapped so that they will be able to help themselves.We attempt to transcend divisive parochial loyalties based on race, religion, gender, nationality, creed, class, sexual orientation, or ethnicity, and strive to work together for the common good of humanity.We want to protect and enhance the earth, to preserve it for future generations, and to avoid inflicting needless suffering on other species.We believe in enjoying life here and now and in developing our creative talents to their fullest.We believe in the cultivation of moral excellence.We respect the right to privacy. Mature adults should be allowed to fulfill their aspirations, to express their sexual preferences, to exercise reproductive freedom, to have access to comprehensive and informed health-care, and to die with dignity.We believe in the common moral decencies: altruism, integrity, honesty, truthfulness, responsibility. Humanist ethics is amenable to critical, rational guidance. There are normative standards that we discover together. Moral principles are tested by their consequences.We are deeply concerned with the moral education of our children. We want to nourish reason and compassion.We are engaged by the arts no less than by the sciences.We are citizens of the universe and are excited by discoveries still to be made in the cosmos.We are skeptical of untested claims to knowledge, and we are open to novel ideas and seek new departures in our thinking.We affirm humanism as a realistic alternative to theologies of despair and ideologies of violence and as a source of rich personal significance and genuine satisfaction in the service to others.We believe in optimism rather than pessimism, hope rather than despair, learning in the place of dogma, truth instead of ignorance, joy rather than guilt or sin, tolerance in the place of fear, love instead of hatred, compassion over selfishness, beauty instead of ugliness, and reason rather than blind faith or irrationality.We believe in the fullest realization of the best and noblest that we are capable of as human beings."
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          41 min
        • 7 Things Sex Positivity Is Not (Common Misconceptions) and Sex positivity: what it means & how to practice it (No prude-shaming, no sex-shaming, no rape culture, & yes to being sex industry-honoring!)

          "1. The love of doin’ it

          If sex positivity were as simple as enjoying the nasty, there would be hella sex positive people (and I likely wouldn’t be writing this!). It’s not that simple.

          The main problem is that people judge others for the way they have sex. That shit's unacceptable.

          Also, sex-loving people can “convince” their dates to have sex with them. Sex-loving people can be both queer and transphobic. These types of sex-loving people clearly don’t believe in the fundamentals we just covered (seeing sex as healthy and accepting/respecting the sexual choices of others).

          2. Thinking everyone should like sex because you do

          Sex positivity is most definitely NOT thinking everyone should like sex. People have been hurt, they’ve been turned off, they’ve felt scared… whatever the reason may be, all of those reasons are valid. You don’t have to be able to relate - and you don’t get to judge.

          3. Having a simplified relationship with sex

          The word positivity makes people think of an uncomplicated and easy relationship with sex. Sex positivity has nothing to do with this. Instead, it encompasses the many different ways we experience sex. Sex can be bland, painful, shocking, and so many other things. It should exist for everyone - asexual people, disabled people, rape survivors, and so on. It’s rare to have a simple relationship with one’s own sexuality.

          The cultural movement that is sex positivity exists because of the dark and complex experiences and sentiments felt by so many.

          4. Sexually objectifying others

          Sex positivity is sometimes used as a means to objectify others. Personally, I can recall numerous occasions where a guy sloppily hitting on me transformed into him boasting about being a sex positive man. Dude. Sex positivity is not treating people like things!

          You are never being sex positive if you project your desires onto other people.

          Owning your desires (or lack thereof)

          One of the biggest misconceptions about sex positivity is that it means you want to have sex all the time, with anybody. Being sex positive is not about the amount or frequency of the sex you are having, but rather your attitude about sex. Sex positivity recognizes that having sex is healthy, but so is not having sex. You can be sex positive and asexual, autosexual (only have sex with yourself), sexually active with partners, and anything in between.

          Being sex positive is not about the amount or frequency of the sex you are having, but rather your attitude about sex.

          Not everyone is sexual or sees sex as an essential part of their life. Part of sex positivity is acknowledging that sometimes people don’t want to have sex, either in the moment, or at all. On the other hand, wanting and having a lot of sex is equally healthy and valid. And while sex positivity means having the freedom to talk about sex with no shame, not everyone is comfortable talking or hearing about sex. Keep in mind that being open or private about sex is not a reflection of your attitude, but rather something to consider depending on how comfortable your company is."

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          23 min
        • I left the church because the church left me first. The church has gained the whole world and lost Jesus on purpose.

          "I notice that the movie American Gangster was a missed holy opportunity for the church to publicly address:

          Crimes Against humanity

          • Crimes Against the person
          • Crimes Against the state
          • Blue-collar crimes
          • Corporate crimes
          • Juvenile crimes
          • Organized crime
          • Political crimes
          • Public-order
          • State crimes
          • State-corporate crimes
          • Victimless crimes
          • White-collar crimes
          • War crimes
          • Sexual narcissism
          • Sexual dehumanization
          • Human objectification and human commodification 
          • Addiction issues
          • Broken family problems
          • Governmental inequality
          • How can Christians view media depictions of human traumas and not create Christlike avenues on these things in order to bring wholeness to people's lives? Why not create ministries with trained help being of valuable assistance? Church people want to be blessed, but they don't want to be a blessing. Churches should have commissions with survivors (secular and faith-based), trained experts, laypeople, and survivor-loving people. The church should understand that it's okay to lose money for true moral excellence and keeping crime-committing monsters out of the church. Their morality is immorality. They're just like "the world!"

            I think the church should have partnered with entities (secular and faith-based) that are trained to combat these injustices and are psychology-based trained professionals also. Workshops should be created out of all issues that people are struggling with whether they are in the congregation or not. Not everything can be solved and resolved with sermon series and ministries. It shouldn't be a "pulling teeth and nail" situation to get the church to address scary taboos. It also shouldn't be the church mentioning these scary taboos because they are tired of "feeling pressured by society." Apparently, society is godlier than the church because society publicize the need to confront what's swept under the rug. Basyle (“Boz”) Tchividjian said: "Just because you call yourself a church doesn't make you one. Just because you call yourself a pastor doesn't make you one." I say that just because you call yourself a Christian doesn't make you one. The church has to change for the better if you want people to stay in church instead of leaving it. Purity culture has go to go, the rock star evangelical pastor culture has got to go, and preaching uninterrupted during sermons has got to go. The Body of Christ doesn't exist for the most part. How can the church call itself the church or The Body of Christ due to the denominational in-fighting, and not agreeing on the basic of Jesus? The church refuses to give its all to Jesus." -ME

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            28 min
          • Humanist Common Ground: Non-religious Christlikeness

            "Humanism is a rational philosophy informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by compassion. Affirming the dignity of each human being, it supports the maximization of individual liberty and opportunity consonant with social and planetary responsibility. It advocates the extension of participatory democracy and the expansion of the open society, standing for human rights and social justice. Free of supernaturalism, it recognizes human beings as a part of nature and holds that values-be they religious, ethical, social, or political-have their source in human experience and culture. Humanism thus derives the goals of life from human need and interest rather than from theological or ideological abstractions, and asserts that humanity must take responsibility for its own destiny.

            – The Humanist Magazine

            Humanism is the light of my life and the fire in my soul. It is the deep felt conviction, in every fiber of my being that human love is a power far transcending the relentless, onward rush of our largely deterministic cosmos. All human life must seek a reason for existence within the bounds of an uncaring physical world, and it is love coupled with empathy, democracy, and a commitment to selfless service which undergirds the faith of a humanist.

            – Bette Chambers, former president of the AHA

            Humanism is an approach to life based on reason and our common humanity, recognizing that moral values are properly founded on human nature and experience alone.

            – The Bristol Humanist Group"

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            1 hr 12 min
          • I practice Christ Consciousness, God-Consciousness, Higher Consciousness, and Buddha-Consciousness. Again, I am a non-believer and unbeliever when it comes to religion!

            "CULT SURVIVAL

            Surviving and escaping a cult is an experience that often leaves you feeling alone, isolated, and unsure of what is next. Cult survivors often suffer serious abuse, life threatening situations, and gaslighting. It is hard to find people who understand what a cult survivor has been through. When a survivor mentions the cult they were a part of, they are often met with shame - “How could you actually believe that? You had to have known it was a cult… right?” So many people who have escaped a cult need to process what they have been through, but have limited resources to do this. Therapy is an excellent option if you have survived a cult. It can help you neutralize painful memories, create new meaning in your life, and regain the power that was lost through years of systematic abuse.

            If you suspect you are in a cult, or you have a loved one in a cult, here are a few questions you can consider:

            • Do you sense that you’re in danger? Possibly physical danger? Or danger of slander and/or a destroyed reputation?
            • Are you being forced to pay money to obtain spiritual enlightenment? Is there information that causes you to advance in your spirituality that is not publicly or freely available?
            • Are you being shamed or punished for questioning beliefs or having different opinions?
            • Are you permitted to think for yourself and contribute to ideas? Or are there only a few chose individuals who hold the power and information you need to become enlightened?
            • Are you being ranked? Are you being told that you are less valuable than another person for various reasons around the belief system?
            • Is diversity accepted? Diversity of identity, thought, or opinion?
            • If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may consider talking to somebody about your situation. It may not be safe to immediately leave a cult, so if you or a loved one is in this situation please do not make a hasty decision. Consult with a professional like a therapist who can help you strategize an exit.

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              42 min
            • Are You a Believer? Take The Richard Dawkins Test.

              "Richard Dawkins’ Belief Scale Scoring Rubric

              • Strong Theist: I do not question the existence of God, I KNOW he exists.
              • De-facto Theist: I cannot know for certain but I strongly believe in God and I live my life on the assumption that he is there.
              • Weak Theist: I am very uncertain, but I am inclined to believe in God.
              • Pure Agnostic: God’s existence and non-existence are exactly equiprobable.
              • Weak Atheist: I do not know whether God exists but I’m inclined to be skeptical.
              • De-facto Atheist: I cannot know for certain but I think God is very improbable and I live my life under the assumption that he is not there.
              • Strong Atheist: I am 100% sure that there is no God.
              • RANKINGS

                Jesus of Nazareth (John 3:16): “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” score: 1.0

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                Martin Luther King Jr. “A physical heaven and a physical hell are inconceivable in a Copernican world … for us immortality will mean a spiritual existence.” score: 2.8

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                Pascal’s Wager (Blaise Pascal):If there is a God, He is infinitely incomprehensible, since, having, neither parts nor limits, He has no affinity to us. We are then incapable of knowing either what He is or if He is. [So] you must wager. Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager then without hesitation that he is.”score: 3.4

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                Woody Allen: “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank” score: 3.9

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                Albert Einstein: “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.” score: 4.0

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                Thomas Jefferson: “Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.” score: 4.2

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                Mark Twain: “The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it…” score: 4.8

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                Buddha: Neither deny or accept a creator. score: 5.0

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                Carl Sagan: “An atheist has to know a lot more than I know. An atheist is someone

                who knows there is no god. By some definitions atheism is very
                stupid” score: 5.5

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                Richard Dawkins: “On a scale of seven, where one means I know he exists, and seven I know he doesn’t, I call myself a six. That doesn’t mean I’m absolutely confident, that I absolutely know, because I don’t.” score 6.0

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                Christopher Hitchens: “Once you assume a creator and a plan, it makes us objects in a cruel experiment whereby we are created sick and commanded to be well, and over us to supervise this is installed a celestial dictatorship. A kind of divine North Korea.” score: 7.0."

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                21 min

              About TonioTimeDaily

              From the publisher's feed

              Autism is my super blessing! I'm a high-school valedictorian, college graduate, world traveler, disability advocate. I'm a Unitarian Universalist. I'm a Progressive Liberal. I'm about equal rights, human rights, civil & political rights, & economic, social, &cultural rights.