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"The Principles of Secular Humanism

Here’s the list from secularhumanism.org.

We are committed to the application of reason and science to the understanding of the universe and to the solving of human problems.

We deplore efforts to denigrate human intelligence, to seek to explain the world in supernatural terms, and to look outside nature for salvation.

We believe that scientific discovery and technology can contribute to the betterment of human life.

We believe in an open and pluralistic society and that democracy is the best guarantee of protecting human rights from authoritarian elites and repressive majorities.

We are committed to the principle of the separation of church and state.

We cultivate the arts of negotiation and compromise as a means of resolving differences and achieving mutual understanding.

We are concerned with securing justice and fairness in society and with eliminating discrimination and intolerance.

We believe in supporting the disadvantaged and the handicapped so that they will be able to help themselves.

We attempt to transcend divisive parochial loyalties based on race, religion, gender, nationality, creed, class, sexual orientation, or ethnicity, and strive to work together for the common good of humanity.

We want to protect and enhance the earth, to preserve it for future generations, and to avoid inflicting needless suffering on other species.

We believe in enjoying life here and now and in developing our creative talents to their fullest.

We believe in the cultivation of moral excellence.

We respect the right to privacy. Mature adults should be allowed to fulfill their aspirations, to express their sexual preferences, to exercise reproductive freedom, to have access to comprehensive and informed health-care, and to die with dignity.

We believe in the common moral decencies: altruism, integrity, honesty, truthfulness, responsibility. Humanist ethics is amenable to critical, rational guidance. There are normative standards that we discover together. Moral principles are tested by their consequences.

We are deeply concerned with the moral education of our children. We want to nourish reason and compassion.

We are engaged by the arts no less than by the sciences.

We are citizens of the universe and are excited by discoveries still to be made in the cosmos.

We are skeptical of untested claims to knowledge, and we are open to novel ideas and seek new departures in our thinking.

We affirm humanism as a realistic alternative to theologies of despair and ideologies of violence and as a source of rich personal significance and genuine satisfaction in the service to others.

We believe in optimism rather than pessimism, hope rather than despair, learning in the place of dogma, truth instead of ignorance, joy rather than guilt or sin, tolerance in the place of fear, love instead of hatred, compassion over selfishness, beauty instead of ugliness, and reason rather than blind faith or irrationality.

We believe in the fullest realization of the best and noblest that we are capable of as human beings.

Here’s a shorter list of tenets from Wikipedia’s Secular Humanism article:

Need to test beliefs – A conviction that dogmas, ideologies and traditions, whether religious, political or social, must be weighed and tested by each individual and not simply accepted on faith.

Reason, evidence, scientific method – A commitment to the use of critical reason, factual evidence and scientific methods of inquiry, rather than faith and mysticism, in seeking solutions to human problems and answers to important human questions."

"Most Aspies:

This Jesus divides families, friends, communities, and nations. This Jesus is the means to an end. This Jesus is all about money, power and control. This Jesus subjugates women, tells widows it’s their fault, and ignores the cry of orphans. Everywhere one looks, this Jesus hurts, afflicts, and kills those we love. It is this Jesus I hate. What I can’t understand is why anyone loves this Jesus? Like a clown on a parade route, he throws a few candies towards those who worship him, promising them that a huge pile of candy awaits them when they die. He lets his followers hunger, thirst, and die, yet he tells them it is for their good, that he loves them and has a wonderful plan for their life. This Jesus is all talk, promising the moon and delivering a piece of gravel. Why can’t his followers see this?

Fear me, he tells his followers. I have the keys to life and death. I have the power to make you happy and I have the power to destroy your life. I have the power to take your children, health, and livelihood. I can do these things because I am the biggest, baddest Jesus ever. Fear me and oppress women, immigrants, orphans, homosexuals, and atheists. Refuse my demand and I will rain my judgment down upon your head. But, know that I love you and only want is best for you and yours. It is this Jesus I hate.

I am no longer in the world of impersonating and impressing the falsities of Religious Right piety! 

Also known as fair-trade porn, indie porn and feminist porn, ethical porn contrasts greatly with “traditional” or mainstream porn in the way that it is inclusive and is conscious of the rights and health of  performers. Let’s break this down further:

Unlike mainstream porn, ethical porn shows real people having real sex. What that means is, ethical porn holds space for underrepresented groups: people of colour and varying ethnicities; young and old people; diverse body types, (specifically disabled bodies, trans bodies, pregnant bodies, bodies of varying sizes, as well as bodies with pubic hair, scars, and cellulite); diverse relationship structures; sexual orientations, and gender identity. While representing all groups, ethical porn commits to body and sex-positivity, creating scenes based on realistic scenarios or fantasies, with no imbalanced expectations or assigned gender roles. In other words, ethical porn blows social conditioning and conformity out of the water, and replaces it with real-world people, with real-world desires, connections, and interactions, in a safe and consenting space.

Unfortunately, abuse occurs in every industry. Pornography is no exception to this, and that is why ethical porn filmmakers create an environment and working conditions that ensure their performers are being well taken care of. This includes respect for performers and receiving consent at every point of production.

The sexual and mental health of performers is pro-actively monitored and maintained. This is done, at a minimum, through open communication on and off set, checking in with team and performers, and providing access to sexual health information and products.

Another element that is often overlooked by consumers is the financial health of performers. Paying for your porn is but one indicator that what you are consuming is ethical/fair trade. It isn’t the tell-all, but as Lynn Comella, Associate Professor of Gender and Sexuality Studies at UNLV, states in one interview with GQ, “Good consumers pay for their porn.” Period."

Ancient Greece was a polytheistic society in which the gods were not omnipotent and required sacrifice and ritual.

The earliest beginnings of religious skepticism can be traced back to Xenophanes. He critiqued popular religion of his time, particularly false conceptions of the divine that are a byproduct of the human propensity to anthropomorphize deities. He took the scripture of his time to task for painting the gods in a negative light and promoted a more rational view of religion. He was very critical of religious people privileging their belief system over others without sound reason.[6][7]

Socrates' conception of the divine was that the gods were always benevolent, truthful, authoritative, and wise. Divinity was to operate within the standards of rationality.[8] This critique of established religion ultimately resulted in his trial for impiety and corruption as documented in The Apology. The historian Will Durant writes that Plato was "as skeptical of atheism as of any other dogma."[9][7]

Democritus was the father of materialism in the West, and there is no trace of a belief in any afterlife in his work. Specifically, in Those in Hades he refers to constituents of the soul as atoms that dissolve upon death.[10] This later inspired the philosopher Epicurus and the philosophy he founded, who held a materialist view and rejected any afterlife, while further claiming the gods were also uninterested in human affairs.[11] In the poem De rerum natura Lucretius proclaimed Epicurean philosophy, that the universe operates according to physical principles and guided by fortuna, or chance, instead of the Roman gods.["

The dominant rhetoric around sex views it as a contest. The language of first base (kissing), second base (breasts), third base (genitals), and home-run (peno-vaginal penetrative sex) makes sex seem like a race to an orgasm. There is supposed to be this scripted linear progression of what should be done after what during sexual intercourse. So we call everything we do before penetrative sex as “foreplay” and just the act of penetrative sex as “sex.” We place lesser value on “making out” than we do on penetrative sex.

If you’ve not had specifically penis-in-vagina sex, you’re called a “virgin” which is a patriarchal and heterosexual way of thinking about sex. We obsess over whether a woman’s hymen in broken or intact, and classify women as virgins or non-virgins on the basis of it. Virginity is a social construct that commodifies women’s bodies, but is culturally emphasised upon heavily. Brides in some traditions have to wear white on their wedding day to signify purity and virginity. Mary is called a virgin in Christian mythology. A woman’s sexual “purity” is believed to be attached to her virginity, reducing a woman to her body, her vagina and giving men immense power over being able to “transform” women into non-virgins. Such an understanding of sex also erases experiences of lesbian, bisexual, trans* women, who are not considered to have “lost their virginity” unless they’ve had heterosexual sex with men.

Beyond virginity, in the past, some of my sexual partners (men as well as women) have been worried they’re not “doing this right”, have felt the need to shave their genitalia, and have faked orgasms to pass off being “good” at sex. This pressure in bed comes in only when we think of sex as a performance to be carried out in a specific way in order to be “good” at it. What does being good or bad at sex even mean? There is no right or wrong way to have sex as long as consent is respected. Thin, flexible, hairless bodies are not “better” at sex. We should focus on feeling good instead of doing it “right”, on enjoying the experience instead of worrying if we’re “good enough”, and understand that orgasms are not the goal of sex. Pleasure, in whatever way you may feel comfortable mutually experiencing it, is the only goal of sex.

You can be caring without being in a romantic relationship. A toxic thing many straight folx do is treat sexual partners differently from romantic partners, especially during “casual” hookups without romantic commitments. Not having romantic feelings is used as a justification to not care about one’s sexual partner.

All women who have had “no strings attached” hookups have experienced this uncaring behaviour — the ghosting, the aversion to cuddling after sex, the cold messages when you’re not physically around each other, and the freaking out if you text a “♥️” or say you miss them. Women, you deserve a partner who is honest, respectful, and affectionate even if it’s a “casual” scene. You deserve to be with people who want to introduce you to their friends. It’s beautiful to be excited to see your partner, no matter how un-committed you are. Don’t accept trash treatment from men just because you don’t romantically like each other. Care has nothing to do with romance. It has everything to do with being a decent human being."

1. True Chemistry, true connection, and true compatibility are requirements

2. Common interests must be in place

3.   Consistency matters and make the right amount of time for each other

4. Talk about the future and make time to have plenty of healthy conversations

5. Don't make each other feel unimportant 

6. Don't be ashamed of each other

7. Be a person of your word

8. Don't try to be all things to all people when it comes to each other

9. Don't engage in self-destructive behavior and don't have tabloid talk show bickering

10. Be open to always treating each other with sensitivity and care

This is strictly and only for those who want commitment according to Healthline: 

"Can a situationship turn into a relationship?

If you’re in a situationship that you’re hoping will become more serious, you might worry that telling your partner how you feel will scare them away.

This is a legitimate risk, but it’s one that’s probably worth taking if you actually envision a future with this person. For the sake of your own mental health, you should be as honest as possible with them about how you feel.

You can’t control how the other person feels. Give them some time to think about and process what you’ve said.

Keep in mind that even if they reciprocate your feelings, your relationship likely won’t transform into something more loving overnight.

Of course, if they don’t share your feelings or the relationship doesn’t change with time, it’s probably time to end it.

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to breaking off a situationship. If it isn’t working for you, stand up for yourself by telling your partner that you’re moving on.

The same goes if your partner wants to get serious and you’re not ready.

How you actually transmit this message — via text, over the phone, or in person — is up to you. For short, casual dating relationships, a short, to-the-point text message is usually fine.

If you feel disappointed that it ended this way, consider it a learning opportunity. Did the other person show signs that they weren’t interested in you from the beginning? Did you avoid expressing how you really felt?

Recognizing red flags can help you avoid falling into a similar situation."

"Be Respectful

You’re just in this for sex, but it doesn’t mean you can treat the person you’re fucking like an object.

You’re hooking up with a flesh and blood person with thoughts and feelings and you need to respect those.

If you’re being rude, disregarding their needs, or being completely cold and careless, what you’re really looking for is a sex doll, not a hookup.

This one’s simple but essential.

Get tested and use condoms. There’s really no excuse not to.

If you’re allergic to latex, carry polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms.

If you don’t enjoy sex without a condom, stay home and masturbate until you find yourself in a long-term relationship."