“How can I help?

If you see street harassment happening, there are a few ways you can potentially help if you feel safe enough to do so.

When in doubt, assume you should help. If you are not sure whether a situation is harassment or not, assume that it is and ask the person being harassed if they need help. You can say something like “Are you OK?” or “Are they bothering you?”

Step in. If you can, practice bystander intervention by calling out the harasser on what they just did and why it was not acceptable. You can say something like, “You just touched that man when he didn’t want you to. That’s not OK. Stop harassing people.”

Check in with the person being harassed. If you see harassment occur, consider asking the person who was harassed if they are OK and if they need any help.

Report. You can report that you witnessed harassment to public transportation officials, law enforcement, or the harasser’s employer.

You can also help to end street harassment and increase awareness around the issue in a couple different ways.

Never blame the victim. If someone tells you about street harassment they have experienced, the best thing you can do is to listen without judgement and tell them that they did not deserve what happened. You should never reduce their experiences by saying things like “this happened to you because you’re so beautiful,” or “maybe you shouldn’t have worn that dress today.”

Share your experiences. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk with people in your life about street harassment when it occurs. This can not only let others know that they are not alone in these experiences, but can help to raise awareness of the frequency of street harassment and its harmful effects among those who haven’t experienced it.

Call out your friends. If you witness your friend harassing someone on the street by cat-calling them, whistling, making a sexual comment, repeatedly asking for their information, etc., tell your friend to stop. Take time to explain to them why what they did was harassment and that it is wrong.

Where can I learn more or get help?

To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org y en español a rainn.org/es.

If you or someone you know has been affected by gender-based street harassment, support is available in English and Spanish at 855.897.5910 or through online chat.

To learn more about street harassment and for details about the sources for this page, visit Stop Street Harassment.” -RAINN

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“What kind of boundaries do you have?

Look at the following characteristics to determine what kinds of boundaries you have:

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

You can say no or yes, and you are ok when others say no to you.

You have a strong sense of identity. You respect yourself.

You expect reciprocity in a relationship-you share responsibility and power.

You know when the problem is yours and when it belongs to someone else.

You share personal information gradually in a mutually sharing/trusting relationship.

You don’t tolerate abuse or disrespect.

You know your own wants, needs and feelings. You communicate them clearly in your relationships.

You are committed to and responsible for exploring and nurturing your full potential.

You are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. You allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and fulfillment.

You value your opinions and feelings as much as others.

You know your limits. You allow others to define their limits.

You are able to ask for help when you need it.

You don’t compromise your values or integrity to avoid rejection.

COLLAPSED BOUNDARIES

You can’t say no, because you are afraid of rejection or abandonment.

Your identity consists of what you think others want you to be. You are a chameleon.

You have no balance of power or responsibility in your relationships. You tend to be either overly responsible and controlling or passive and dependent.

You take on other’s problems as your own.

You share personal information too soon. . .before establishing mutual trust/sharing.

You have a high tolerance for abuse or being treated with disrespect.

Your wants needs and feelings are secondary to others’ and are sometimes determined by others.

You ignore your inner voice and allow others expectations to define your potential.

You feel responsible for other’s happiness and fulfillment and sometimes rely on your relationships to create that for you.

You tend to absorb the feelings of others.

You rely on others opinions, feelings and ideas more than you do your own.

You allow others to define your limits or try to define limits for others.

You compromise your values and beliefs in order to please others or to avoid conflict.

RIGID BOUNDARIES

You are likely to say no if the request involves close interaction.

You avoid intimacy (pick fights, stay too busy, etc.)

You fear abandonment OR engulfment, so you avoid closeness.

You rarely share personal information.

You have difficulty identifying wants, needs, feelings.

You have few or no close relationships. If you have a partner, you have very separate lives and virtually no shared social life.

You rarely ask for help.

You do not allow yourself to connect with other people and their problems.” Dr. Brian Grady.

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“Why an Ambiamorous Person Might Choose Polyamory

An ambiamorous person may choose polyamory because:

They want to be with a person that has polyamorous relationships. Again, this is a very common reason and very straightforward. While someone who is strictly monogamous might consider it a large sacrifice to adapt to dating a polyamorous person, for an ambiamorous person this is typically not that big of a deal at all, especially if they, too, are able to pursue relationships with other people if they want.

They hit the love jackpot and found multiple people that they love and connect with on a deep level and who fit into their life beautifully and harmoniously.

They enjoy the close network of support and friendship that can form between metamours. Their relationship system often functions as a chosen family.

They place a high value upon allowing their partners to have the freedom to see other people, even in situations where they themselves may date less frequently than their partners (or even be functionally monogamous themselves, from time to time. -Kinkly.com

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“Sexual fluidity is one or more changes in sexuality or sexual identity (sometimes known as sexual orientation identity). Sexual orientation is stable and unchanging for the vast majority of people, but some research indicates that some people may experience change in their sexual orientation, and this is slightly more likely for women than for men.[1] There is no scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed through psychotherapy.[2][3] Sexual identity can change throughout an individual's life, and does not have to align with biological sex, sexual behavior, or actual sexual orientation.[4][5][6]

According to scientific consensus, sexual orientation is not a choice.[7][8][9] There is no consensus on the exact cause of developing a sexual orientation, but genetic, hormonal, social, and cultural influences have been examined.[9][10][11] Scientists believe that it is caused by a complex interplay of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences.[7][9][11] Although no single theory on the cause of sexual orientation has yet gained widespread support, scientists favor biologically-based theories.[7][12] Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation can be at any point along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the opposite sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex.[13]” -Wikipedia. “Genderfluidity is a non-fixed gender identity that shifts over time or depending on the situation. These fluctuations can occur at the level of gender identity or gender expression. A genderfluid person may fluctuate among different gender expressions over their lifetime, or express multiple aspects of various gender markers simultaneously.[1][2] Genderfluid individuals may identify as non-binary or transgender, or cisgender, which means they identify with the gender associated with their sex assigned at birth.[3][4] Genderfluidity is different from gender-questioning, a process in which people explore their gender in order to find their true gender identity and adjust their gender expression accordingly.[5] Genderfluidity continues throughout lives of genderfluid people.[6]” -Wikipedia.

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Below is the lifestyles that I am meant to live: “For instance, they:

Question the way policy is administered

Participate in the agenda-setting as they raise significant issues

Target political systems "because those systems are not responding to people's needs"

Are inclusive and engaging

Propose policy solutions

Open up space for public argumentation

Other forms of advocacy include:

Budget advocacy: another aspect of advocacy that ensures proactive engagement of Civil Society Organizations with the government budget to make the government more accountable to the people and promote transparency. Budget advocacy also enables citizens and social action groups to compel the government to be more alert to the needs and aspirations of people in general and the deprived sections of the community.

Bureaucratic advocacy: people considered "experts" have more chance to succeed at presenting their issues to decision-makers. They use bureaucratic advocacy to influence the agenda, although at a slower pace.

Express versus issue advocacy: These two types of advocacy when grouped together usually refers to a debate in the United States whether a group is expressly making their desire known that voters should cast ballots in a particular way, or whether a group has a long-term issue that isn't campaign and election season specific.

Health, environment and climate change negotiations advocacy: supports and promotes patients' health care rights as well as enhance community health and policy initiatives that focus on the availability, safety and quality of care.

Ideological advocacy: in this approach, groups fight, sometimes during protests, to advance their ideas in the decision-making circles.

Interest-group advocacy: lobbying is the main tool used by interest groups doing mass advocacy. It is a form of action that does not always succeed at influencing political decision-makers as it requires resources and organization to be effective.

Legislative advocacy: the "reliance on the state or federal legislative process" as part of a strategy to create change.[5]

Mass advocacy: any type of action taken by large groups (petitions, demonstrations, etc.)

Media advocacy: "the strategic use of the mass media as a resource to advance a social or public policy initiative" (Jernigan and Wright, 1996). In Canada, for example, the Manitoba Public Insurance campaigns illustrate how media advocacy was used to fight alcohol and tobacco-related health issues. We can also consider the role of health advocacy and the media in "the enactment of municipal smoking bylaws in Canada between 1970 and 1995." [6]

Special education advocacy: advocacy with a "specific focus on the educational rights of students with disabilities."

Different contexts in which advocacy is used:

In a legal/law context: An "advocate" is the title of a specific person who is authorized/appointed in some way to speak on behalf of a person in a legal process.

In a political context: An "advocacy group" is an organized collection of people who seek to influence political decisions and policy, without seeking election to public office.

In a social care context: Both terms (and more specific ones such as "independent advocacy") are used in the UK in the context of a network of interconnected organisations and projects which seek to benefit people who are in difficulty (primarily in the context of disability and mental health).

In the context of inclusion: Citizen Advocacy organisations (or programmes) seek to cause benefit by reconnecting people who have become isolated. Their practice was defined in two key documents: CAPE, and Learning from Citizen Advocacy Programs.” -Wikipedia.

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“Because of gender expectations, being a male child victim of sexual abuse can lead to:[52]

Pressure to prove his manhood physically and sexually (becoming stronger and engaging in dangerous or violent behavior; having multiple female sexual partners).

Confusion over gender and sexual identity.

Sense of being an inadequate man.

Sense of lost power, control, and confidence to his manhood.

Problems with closeness and intimacy.

Sexual problems.[note 4]

Fear of becoming 'homosexual' or 'gay'.

Homophobia.” -Wikipedia. “The sexual conquest contests in my life are over forever.” -Antonio Myers

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“Slavery is the ownership of a person as property, especially in regards to their labour.[1] Slavery typically involves compulsory work, with the slave's location of work and residence dictated by the party that holds them in bondage. Enslavement is the placement of a person into slavery, and the person is called a slave or an enslaved person (see § Terminology).

Many historical cases of enslavement occurred as a result of breaking the law, becoming indebted, suffering a military defeat, or exploitation for cheaper labor; other forms of slavery were instituted along demographic lines such as race or sex. Slaves may be kept in bondage for life, or for a fixed period of time after which they would be granted freedom.[2] Although slavery is usually involuntary and involves coercion, there are also cases where people voluntarily enter into slavery to pay a debt or earn money due to poverty. In the course of human history, slavery was a typical feature of civilization,[3] and was legal in most societies, but it is now outlawed in most countries of the world, except as a punishment for a crime.[4][5]

In chattel slavery, the slave is legally rendered the personal property (chattel) of the slave owner. In economics, the term de facto slavery describes the conditions of unfree labour and forced labour that most slaves endure.[6]” -Wikipedia. “Smuggling is the illegal transportation of objects, substances, information or people, such as out of a house or buildings, into a prison, or across an international border, in violation of applicable laws or other regulations. More broadly, social scientists define smuggling as the purposeful movement across a border in contravention to the relevant legal frameworks.[2] There are various motivations to smuggle. These include the participation in illegal trade, such as in the drug trade, illegal weapons trade, prostitution, human trafficking, kidnapping, exotic wildlife trade, art theft, blood diamonds, heists, chop shops, illegal immigration or illegal emigration, tax evasion, import restrictions, export restrictions, providing contraband to prison inmates, or the theft of the items being smuggled.” -Wikipedia. “I endured witnessing all of the above in my childhood.” -Antonio Myers.

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“21 Characteristics of Pharisees: Loves to hang out in high places with VIP status (Matthew 23:5-6)

Only accepts positive confession & self-praise from people (Matthew 23:7-12)

Loves money, is covetous & a show-off (Matthew 23:16, Luke 16:14)

Exploits the simple for their money.

Despises the poor, sick & needy (Matthew 23:14, Luke 7:36-50, 21:1-6)

Exalts expensive buildings, important people, objects & lifestyle (Matthew 23:17-22)

Thinks of self better than a sinner.

Trusts in own self-righteousness (Luke 7:36-50, 18:9-14)

Outwardly holy to get noticed & to get others to follow, inwardly hypocrite (Mathew 6:5, 23:5,15, 25-26)

Seeks after signs & wonders (Matthew 16:1-4, 27:40-43, Mark 8:11-12, Luke 11:29-32)

Believes in own deceit (Matthew 15:12-14, 23:16, John 9:39-41)

Twists the Scriptures, omits weightier doctrinal issues (Matthew 16:6-12, 23:23-24)

Upholds the traditions of men over the Word (Matthew 23:4, Mark 7:5-13)

Challenges the authority of the Word (Matthew 21:23-27, 22:34-46, Luke 17:20-21)

Hates to be corrected by the Word (Luke 7:29-30, John 8:39-59, 12:42)

Misleads many into the broad road to destruction (Matthew 23:13)

Suppresses those who warn them of own errors (Matthew 23:34-35, Luke 22:2, John 12:42)

Fails to identify the true Christ from the Scriptures

(Matthew 12:14-37, John 5:18, 10:24-39, Luke 7:29-30)

Rejects the real Messiah, expects a false messiah

(Matthew 26:62-68, Mark 3:6, Luke 22:2, Acts 1:6.” -https://safeguardyoursoul.com/21-characteristics-of-pharisees//. “All of these traits belong to the criminals that I mentioned in this episode.” -Antonio Myers.

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“ In my personal and my professional lives, I no longer feel that I am being held captive by: uncertainty

lack of certainty

unsureness

indecision

hesitation

hesitancy

skepticism

doubt

ignorance

dubiety

incertitude.” -Antonio Myers.

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"I have written Canyons & Fireworks which details my lifelong journey of healing from an extreme avoidant attachment style.

Through encounters with God, faith, family, Christian community, reading books, and years of counseling I have learned to truly open up and enjoy loving relationships. From this place of healing and love I have been able to enjoy the abundant life of the Bible. 

In Canyons & Fireworks, I am honest about the cause, confusion, victories, setbacks, and time full recovery takes. 

Although I am not a doctor, my goal is to help others identify and tear down the walls that block love so that true intimacy, identity, and purpose can flourish.

I am happily married to my best friend, Rob, and I love being a stepmom. We live in a suburb of Charlotte, NC where we enjoy the outdoors together. I like to bike ride at my local parks and paint on my back patio." _

Canyons & Fireworks – From Avoidant to Abundant (canyonsandfireworks.com).

"You may benefit from discovering your attachment style if: Love seems to evade you.

Your relationships are not fruitful.

Intimacy makes you uncomfortable.

You often feel suffocated in relationships.

You are not one to miss people.

You are successful but something is still missing.

It’s hard for you to feel love.

You have been described as mysterious.

You do not experience the same emotions as others.

Even in good company you feel lonely.

Being alone scares you.

You have been described as needy.

You feel desperate to hear from your significant other.

You miss people quickly.

You excessively worry about your relationships.

You need to keep loved ones close at all times.

Focus is difficult if you think someone is mad at you.

When the “high” of a new relationship wears off, you think the relationship is over.

You mainly live in autopilot. You cling to people. You are afraid of abandonment." -Rita Bliven.

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