Tony Funderburk's Christian articles loaded with rhyme and reason

Tony Funderburk's Christian articles loaded with rhyme and reason

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Tony Funderburk's Christian articles loaded with rhyme and reason episodes

  • Fairy tales and fables and that book on coffee tables

    For about 20 years evolutionists and the media made the silly claim that human DNA and chimpanzee DNA were about 99% the same. Now keep in mind, no one had completed sequencing human DNA. And sequencing of chimpanzee DNA hadn’t even started. Sheesh. And evolutionists like to make fun of Christians for prophecy and predictions. But I guess you gotta expect such behavior from adults who believe in fairy tales and fables.

    Ladies, you’re actually closer to call your man a “snake in the grass” instead of a big, dumb ape. According to evolution snakes should be more closely related to other reptiles. But a computer-based study found the genetic distance between a particular protein, cytochrome, from a snake was actually closer to the cytochrome protein from a man.

    Wow! Imagine the poisonous fairy tales and fables and sci-fi movies around that.

    And speaking of computer-based measuring of genetic distance, the number of organisms that have had their genes sequenced is doubling every year? So, that means our molecular information bank has increased exponentially. And on the molecular level, there’s no evidence to support the evolutionary fairy tales and fables of how life began. None.

    Now, I realize Christians are just supposed to have blind faith in “a god” we “created in our own image as a crutch.” But the Christian Faith is based on so much more evidence. And that’s important because Christians place their faith and hope in someone they’ve never seen. I say He’s the one true, living, loving Creator of the universe. And the universe of evidence backs up that claim. By the way., the Bible (bestselling book of all time and only book supported by evidence almost daily) talks about evidence and how important it is.

    So, don’t monkey around with evolutionary monkey business.

    Even though only about 4% of human DNA differs from that of chimpanzees, that 4% represents “thirty-five million single-nucleotide changes, five million insertions or deletions, and various chromosomal rearrangements.” And the differences between the males from each species is around 30%.

    See what I mean, ladies? Guys are not apes. Nope. We’re just as fearfully and wonderfully made as you. Even if we aren’t the eye candy you are. Hey, too much candy isn’t healthy anyway.

    Anyway…

    For more information on genetic distance and the way it relates to how we all got here, click on most of the links I just shared. They’ll take you to Dr. Walt Brown’s online book, “In The Beginning“. While you’re there, be sure and check out so many other compelling reasons to believe in the Creator rather than evolution.

    And save the fairytales and fables for reading to the kids at bedtime.

    In awe of all creation and how it all could be,

    The fairy tale illusions increase with every year.
    The wrinkled plans expand, exponentially,
    Until one day, perhaps, a duck becomes a deer.   (yeah, right)
    (from my song, Fast Forward)

    If enjoyed this science-based shot of reality, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

    Get my Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

    It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

    The form can be filled in the actual website url.

    Stay tuned,

    The post Fairy tales and fables and that book on coffee tables appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

    11 min
  • Is the moon smaller by that much? Yes, thanks to the Master’s touch.

    Is the moon approximately 400 times smaller than the sun? Yes. And that’s not just cool. It’s also on purpose. Because the Son of God made it that way.

    And not only is the moon smaller by that much…

    It’s also about 400 times closer to the earth than the sun. And again that’s on purpose for the same reason I mentioned before.

    Check out what the apostle John had this to say about how everything was made:

    “All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”

    Lots of people, for some reason, get stuck on that “nothing was made that was made” part. They “feel” like it’s talking in a circle. But that’s not what’s going on.

    It’s a description of what’s made and WHO isn’t.

    God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, was not made.

    And God, The Son, made everything else.

    So, the sun, the moon, the stars, Earth, and all the creatures on the earth are all made. And not like some random act of creativity either. Our beautiful solar system, galaxy, and all the universe function more precisely and more dependably than any clock ever created by human beings.

    And my guess is, it pleases God to surprise and delight us.

    He could have designed the Earth and moon to simply work together efficiently and left it at that. But God loves to throw in the fireworks, add the concert, and raise the spectacle. Why? Well, maybe it’s because He’s the ultimate good and loving father. And maybe it just delights Him to see the looks on our faces.

    And which direction do millions of faces point during the eclipse of the sun? Yeah, UP!

    Why?

    Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green?
    Why is the sun gold? What does it all mean?
    Why is the air clear? Why is the ground brown?
    Why does the earth float and never fall down?

    Cause God made skies. He made them blue.

    He made the world for me and you
    And all because it pleased Him to.
    God loves us through and through.

    Why is a horse fast? Why is a snail slow?
    Why does it get cold when Northern winds blow?
    Why is the sea green? Why is the sand white?
    Why is the day day? Why is the night night?

    Cause God made creatures big and small,

    And sand and seas; He made them all.
    And even if we trip and fall
    God helps us to stand tall.

    God’s love is always there.

    His love will never die.
    And so you can trust in Him
    For all your questions why.    © 2008 TF

    If this landed somewhere good with you, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

    Get my Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

    It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

    Stay tuned,

    The post Is the moon smaller by that much? Yes, thanks to the Master’s touch. appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

    8 min
  • Knowing God is real is a really good deal

    Knowing God is real helps me make sense of the world, the solar system, the galaxy, and the universe. I can only imagine the sense of hopelessness inside the hearts and souls of atheists. The sense of time running down and out. Life coming to an end. A black hole of nothingness in the not-too-distant future. No. Thank. You.

    If you think there’s no way of knowing God, I encourage you to reconsider.

    And if Christians are like fingernails on a chalkboard to you, at least consider actual evidence. And when it gives “the appearance of having been designed for a purpose”, just ask this question:

    “Hmm, I wonder if it was?”

    And, as you wonder, you’ll use one of the strongest pieces of evidence for the complexity in life coming from an even more complex designer. Yeah, that’s your brain.

    If you’ve never wondered how complex life could have come from nothing, plenty of people have. And that includes famous scientists, philosophers, and even atheists.

    One noted (and boldly affirmed) atheist, Richard Dawkins said this about life: “Biology is the study of complicated things that give the appearance of having been designed for a purpose.” (The Blind Watchmaker, page 1) He’s not the only one who at least acknowledges “the appearance” of design.

    Plenty of Darwinian scientists agree with that much. After all, they have powerful microscopes. And they can see a complex design doing amazing things inside a single cell.

    But most Darwinian scientists say no to the complexity of life affirming a designer.

    So, instead of knowing God, they ignore where the evidence appears to lead. And they choose to go where they’d prefer the answer to be, based on false assumptions.

    That’s not science, by the way. It’s a religion. It requires faith. And a blind adherence to that faith.

    For example, to say even a single cell could have emerged from proteins, even if the whole world was full of proteins, ignores how each cell in your body is a “membrane-encased, self-reproducing, self-repairing, metabolizing” unit.

    Every part in one single cell had to be there from the beginning in order for the cell to function. Every part! That means it had to be completely assembled at one time by a highly intelligent assembler. It couldn’t have worked any other way.

    Scientists, who deny the existence of the Creator God, have been trying for hundreds of years to show how life could have come from non-life. Yet, they’ve never been able to demonstrate how even one cell could have formed from proteins without some outside help.

    If you enjoy knowing God, or would like to, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

    Get my Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

    It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

    The form can be filled in the actual website url.

    Stay tuned,

    The post Knowing God is real is a really good deal appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

    7 min
  • Everlasting and everywhere and this love is nothing rare

    God is everlasting and everywhere He wants to be. You and I are SO not like that. But if you could take a minute to try and see yourself from God’s perspective, you can get a better understanding of how much trouble He’s gone through to bridge that gap. And that’s true because of one thing, and one thing only.

    The power of God’s everlasting Love that’s available everywhere.

    OK, fair warning. This is gonna be a little bit of a Bible study. So if you’re not into it, drop out now.

    In case you didn’t know, there was a guy named Paul who wrote a letter to the Romans, about 2000 years ago, telling them (the ones who were interested) about the Grace of God. And God’s grace is synonymous with His everlasting love. Paul wrote this in his letter: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

    You might look at that second question and answer, “Well, almost everyone is against us.” But the point Paul is making with that question is that even if everyone IS against us…none of it compares with God who is FOR us. And God is for you the moment you trust in His Son as your savior. That’s a crucial and key point.

    Because His Son took your punishment.

    Paul’s letter continues, “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? See? There’s that love again. Jesus came to earth as a man to offer everlasting life to anyone who would trust Him. He put His life where His intentions were…and are. And He allowed Himself to be “conquered” by His captors so that we could be more than conquerors. Are you with me so far?

    Continuing with his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote, “Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.” Wow. That’s amazing. You have an advocate whose everlasting love makes everlasting life a reality for you. And when you choose to believe and trust in Jesus, the deal is sealed…

    “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

    Here’s a list of physical obstacles unable to separate you from God: “Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: ‘For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.‘ Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

    And here’s a list of non-physical obstacles unable to separate you from God: “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.“

    Are you starting to see how important it is to trust Jesus? When you do, your eternal life is sealed and secured. But, like I always say…it’s YOUR choice. No one can make the choice for you…not even God. He lets you freely choose. If you haven’t already, why would you let another day pass without choosing? You might not have tomorrow.

    More than conquerors,

    Or even world-beaters.
    More than warriors
    Or non retreaters…
    We are loved with an Everlasting Love.

    Everlasting and Everywhere

    I want the Everlasting Work Of Art,

    Not just on canvas, but engraved in the heart.
    I need the Everlasting Scale Of Worth.
    That’s the only Way to perfect peace on earth…

    Everlasting and everywhere…

    He’s Everlasting and everywhere

    I look for Everlasting holy clues

    To steel myself through all this negative news.
    I dream the Everlasting wide-eyed stuff,
    But I’m still aware that dreaming’s never enough.   Chorus

    You  seek the answers to the mysteries of life.

    But how much truth can you handle.
    And as for me, well, there is only One Fire
    That lights the flame on my candle.   Chorus

    I look to the Everlasting Guiding Star

    To make my path straight as I travel so far.
    I sing the Everlasting song of man;
    Teach us to understand our place in the plan.

    Chorus…inst…chorus…bridge…chorus…modulate up and repeat 

    2 verses and choruses to end    © 1992  TF

    If this landed somewhere good with you, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

    Get Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

    It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

    The form can be filled in the actual website url.

    Stay tuned,

    The post Everlasting and everywhere and this love is nothing rare appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

    12 min
  • Psychiatric care from the Wisdom up there

    I’ll start this off with a question. Have you ever seen someone for psychiatric care? I haven’t, but I’ve known people who have. And I’ve certainly seen enough movies and TV shows with people seeking therapy that way. But they never act or talk like it actually works.

    And I don’t see much care in their psychiatric care.

    Plus, there’s an unavoidable problem when you tell a doctor your deep, dark secrets. Especially a typical psychiatrist who has no healthy relationship with Jesus. Because, when you share your feelings and secrets  with someone who doesn’t love his Creator (and many times even with someone who does), you risk hanging yourself out to dry.

    All those notes the doctor takes can be like witnesses against you. If the person taking them ever wanted to turn against you for some dire reason, they have a great reference tool. And if you believe the so-called “doctor-patient confidentiality” thing will protect you, you don’t know human nature.

    Years ago I watched an old black and white movie where the main character went to a psychiatrist for some marital or other relationship problems. The star of the movie was only one of a collection of weird characters. And it seemed like they all wanted to be the weirdest one. Funny thing is, I thought they were all successful in their efforts.

    Shortly after watching the movie, I heard a story on the evening news about how many people were seeking psychiatric “care.” And not long after that I read an article in the local paper (yeah, we still read newspapers back then) about the same topic.

    “Hmm,” I said to myself. “I see a pattern forming.”

    In all the stories there was never even a tiny mention of God. Far from it.

    It’s just not wise to not go to God with your problems? Because He can help you rise above your selfishness. In fact, His words can make you healthy.

    God should be your main counsellor. Yes, He does take notes on all of us. But, for those who love Him, He will wipe the slate clean and remembers the notes no more. Why would you ever to tell your story to a note taker who doesn’t do that? Here’s a goofy song I wrote about therapy after seeing the goofy characters in a movie…

    Therapy

    I think I’m going crazy.

    I’ve got all the signs.
    My hair is wild and wooly.
    I’m reciting Shakespeare lines.
    My favorite food’s granola,
    And I thrive on herbal tea.
    I think I’m going crazy.
    I could use some therapy.
    And I think my mind is slippin’
    In and out of space.
    I had and out-of-body experience
    In another place.
    And some beings from Jupiter
    Did experiments on me.
    Yeah, I think my mind is slippin’.
    I could use some therapy.

    Therapy…let me tell you all about it.

    Therapy…I need someone to relate to.
    Therapy…I’ll sell my story to the paper.
    Therapy…I know you’ll read it…you can hardly wait to.

    I guess I’m not so crazy,

    When I look all around.
    It seems a lot of people
    Have found what I have found.
    And these days it’s so hectic
    Trying to be first
    To be the real bizarre one…
    To be the one who’s cursed.

    © 1989 Tony Funderburk

    If you’d rather look for help in God’s word, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

    Get Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

    It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

    The form can be filled in the actual website url.

    Stay tuned,

    The post Psychiatric care from the Wisdom up there appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

    7 min
  • Life and death in the very same breath

    Just imagine if God said something like this: I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live…

    Wow, that almost sounds like God says you can choose between life and death.

    But there are a lot of people who call themselves Christians, who say that everything that happens is part of God’s plan. And they say that includes who will live forever and who won’t. And they say there’s nothing you can do to change it because it’s all part of God’s will. In other words, you can’t choose because God already chose your destiny for you.

    But that statement, I said to imagine that God said, IS something God actually DID say. In the book of Deuteronomy in the Bible. And it shows a much more loving God who wants you and me to be able to freely love him. Because true love must be freely given. Otherwise, everyone is just a robot who can only do what we’re programmed to do.

    But I don’t believe that for even a nanosecond. Because I’ve read too many beautiful passages in the Bible that completely contradict that kind of a creator. The power of God’s love is revealed on just about every page in every book of the Bible. Old Testament. And New Testament.

    That’s why a few years ago I shared a bullet list of why I love life. Here’s what I said…

    I love life and the opportunity to live it.

    I love the:

    • smooth sailing,
    • trials and tribulations
    • growing up,
    • gaining knowledge,
    • gaining friends,
    • awards and rewards,
    • challenges and failures,
    • clouds and sunshine,
    • joy and laughter,
    • pain and redemption, and
    • words and music…
    • Those are all components that help make up this journey through life. It’s not a two part journey. It’s a two place journey. And I’m eager and privileged to participate in both. This place we’re in right now is amazing and difficult. The next place will be unfathomably kinetic, energizing, and joyous. More reasons why I love life.

      But the next place won’t be like that for everyone.

      That’s a shame because it’s really not difficult to achieve. You just need to believe. But here’s another bullet list of where you should not place your faith:

      • Dreams
      • Yourself.
      • a “force”
      • The “law of attraction”
      • Internal spirits
      • Mohammed
      • Confucious
      • Buddha
      • Allah
      • Oprah
      • Obama
      • and least of all, satan
      • Put your faith only in Jesus. I’m sure thankful I did that a long time ago. Because that one name is the key to choosing between life and death.

        Get Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free.

        I share it with believers who want to focus on the power of God’s love and rightly divide the word of truth. Spend your time reading, listening, and watching good stuff based on the power of God’s love instead of looking for it. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

        The form can be filled in the actual website url.

        Stay tuned,

        The post Life and death in the very same breath appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

        7 min
      • Perils of Paul don’t sound like ya’ll


        Have you ever read the list of the perils of Paul? It’s an epic list, to say the least. And it was because he shared the unvarnished, hard truth. About the only peril preachers, in probably 99% of American churches, face these days is obesity. And my guess is, that’s not because they’re sharing that same unvarnished, hard truth in God’s word.

        Here’s the list of the perils of Paul, as he wrote it:

        …in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness, besides the other things, what comes upon me daily

        Dictionaries typically define peril as: serious and immediate danger

        So, Paul certainly found out how correct that definition is.

        But he didn’t let any of that stop him from delivering the message that Jesus gave him to share with the world. Of course, the world, most of it anyway, doesn’t want anything to do with the grace gift from Jesus. Because that would require the humility to acknowledge that He is the creator, the sovereign God, who has sealed the fate for anyone who denies who Jesus is.

        “But that’s so harsh, Tony.”

        I guess, in a way, that’s true. But you wouldn’t say that if you had read what they did to Jesus. An innocent person who went around healing people, sharing a message of hope and love, and performing miracles for mostly small-minded people.

        His own people falsely accused Him, had Him thrown in prison, and then had Him beaten and crucified. And all because they didn’t like His message. They preferred their tradition and visible pomp and circumstance.

        Hmm, that sounds like so-called Christian churches in America these days. Big stages, light shows, fog, machines, loud repetitive mantra music, and anecdotal stories (what I call Sunday TED talks) from the pulpit.

        Yeah, pretty much the only peril those so-called preachers face is obesity.

        There won’t be a “well done, good and faithful servant” for those actions.

        When you tell the actual truth in church today, it will be almost impossible to build a large church. Because most people who go to church fall under the itching ears category. And when you share the “harsh” truth with them, they’ll feel convicted. And they would rather feel good about themselves. So, they go to churches or the so-called pastor or preacher tells them they can live their best life now.

        I bet that’s not you. And I bet you would rather live…

        In The House Of The Lord

        Father God,
        You never leave me You never forsake me.
        And Your Word…
        Gives me courage to go where you take me.

        You are with me through each dire upheaval.
        With You in me I will fear no evil.
        As I walk through the shadow of death…
        I will sing till my very last breath…

        Green pastures, still waters…
        Goodness and mercy for your sons and daughters…
        True love dwells in the House of the LORD.
        Each person, each nation…
        Can be renewed through Your sweet restoration…
        True love dwells in the House of the LORD.

        Father God,
        You made a Way for my total redemption.
        I believe…
        Jesus died to provide that exemption.

        He’s my shepherd through thorns and thru clover.
        He’s my new wine, and my cup runs over.
        As I walk through the shadow of death…
        I will sing till my very last breath…Chorus   © 2010 TF

        Cheers to your day free from shipwrecks and prisons.

        Get Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional delivered to your inbox for free. I share it with believers who want to focus on the power of God’s love and rightly divide the word of truth. Spend your time reading, listening, and watching good stuff based on the power of God’s love instead of looking for it. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

        The form can be filled in the actual website url.

        Stay tuned,

         

        The post Perils of Paul don’t sound like ya’ll appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

        11 min
      • Servitude Heart is the right place to start

        He showed up with a servitude heart. And that was no small detail. Because he was actually a king. No, that’s not quite accurate. He was THE king. Of the whole universe, in fact. But He showed up here in our dirty, little world with a mission to make things right. And His actions, over and over, proved He came here to serve, not BE served.

        The ultimate model of a servitude heart.

        And it makes perfect sense to say He’s the ultimate model. Because He even says that you and I were made in His image and likeness. It’s kinda like He’s the mold (defined: a distinctive and typical style, form, or character AND form or shape, especially the features or physique of a person). And you and I were copies made from that mold.

        So, here’s what I think (and you can take what I think PLUS a smartphone and make a call to just about anywhere in the world). God knew, when He made us, and even more now, that us copies would never live up to the original. And He planned out actions He could and/or would take to compensate for, and even wipe out, our stupid decisions AND the consequences for them.

        That information about His character inspired me to write a song about how a servitude heart should be our response to His love. You have the freedom to disagree. But I bet you don’t.

        Consequential Servitude

        God looked down on me. He knew I was wrong;

        Usurped my position I’d held for so long.
        Yeah, He just took over where my brain left off.
        He knew it was risky. He knew they’d all scoff.
        Sometimes I’m so stupid, and so often blind;
        Trade reason for feelings; mistakes underlined.

        And so again; I behold the outer man

        Through God’s condescending attitude.
        And I defer to the perfect Architect
        And this consequential servitude.

        He spirals His thoughts through my barricade.

        He knows I am feeble, yet hands me His blade.
        And He tells me to rise up from my Phoenix blight
        He builds me a fortress of conquering Light.
        When my clay is brittle and crumbles to sand,
        I long to be putty in my Master’s hand.

        And then I can behold the inner man

        Through God’s condescending attitude.
        Because He chose me as His dwelling place
        I choose this consequential servitude.

        There were no incantations, no hallelujah chorus.

        He succumbed to His detractors; withstood an inquisition.
        And then commended His spirit, relinquished His position,
        And then He died a death that was for us!

        Repeat Ist verse and 2nd chorus…end

        © 2001

        Join the growing body of believers who’ve already signed up for the Tony’s Rhyme and Reason Daily Devotional. And I’ll send you daily flashes of light so we can stay focused on faith, hope, and the power of God’s love.

        Stay tuned…

        The post Servitude Heart is the right place to start appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

        9 min
      • Master of the universe: one is better, one is worse

        It’s truly your lucky day! Because, even though I didn’t think I’d ever share this secret again, I’m gonna show you the main ingredients you need in order to be master of the universe. And despite what you might have thought, up until this moment…

        You are NOT already the master of the universe.

        But I’m here for you. You’re my digital neighbor. And the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. So, keep reading. And in almost no time at all your master of the universe status will change. Oh, and by the way, don’t let those scientists who say the universe is expanding throw you off course. It’s do-able if you have the right stuff and never give up.

        So, are you ready? Good, let’s get to it.

        First off, you gotta gather up the ingredients to get the universe going in the first place. And you’ll need a rough idea of how long your materials can last and what they’ll be made of. No worries. You can do all the calculations on the handy device of your choice.

        (note to self: build a master of the universe ingredients calculator app. money in the bank)

        So, go get yourself some awesome light sources, water, oxygen, and as many of the elements as you can. Remember, you’re gonna build the right kinds of planets, moons, suns, and other heavenly bodies to form a functioning and cohesive universe. This ain’t gonna be some lean-to chicken hut for crying out loud. And you don’t want it to just splatter all over the place. Right?

        OK, once you have all those ingredients, it’s a good time to pause, at least for a few minutes or so, to ponder your “end game.”

        And your end game has to be able to answer these two questions…
        1. What’s your “why?”
        2. Who’s your target audience? (or, in this case, who will be serving you?)
        3. Alright. Great! You’ve got the ingredients. And you’ve answered the two questions for your end game.

          I’m sure you’re probably like most people who want to be master of the universe. Your WHY is already answered in your goal. And your target audience is made up of the fairly intelligent creatures you’ll control. All those so-called “people” who’ll tend to the planets, moons, and stars so you can relax.

          So, it would probably be a good idea to take some of those ingredients you gathered up and see if you could stir them together and make some interactive beings. Personally I think this would be the hardest part of the whole thing. But maybe you’ve already got some good ideas on how you’ll do it.

          And once you have a couple of those “beings” formed, see if you can devise a way for them to procreate. You certainly don’t want to have to go make new ones every time you turn around or get bored. Am I right? And if they make new ones, that just means you’ll have even more of them to control.

          Win-Win

          OK, now you’ve got a bunch of  self-replicating creatures building stuff and working on “their own ideas.” So, move in and show them how it’s all done. After all, they wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. And they’ll probably just bend over backwards trying to find ways to thank you for controlling their lives.

          And that’s when you’ll have an irresistible urge to send me thank you gifts. Not necessary. Seriously.

          I’ve gotta be transparent and tell you something. For the vast majority of people I’ve shared al this information with, it all sounds like too much work. Yeah, I get it. If you’ve gotten this far, you might be at that crossroads, too. If so, there’s another option.

          You could just leave the whole universe in the hands of someone who really knows what He’s doing. That’s the option I’ve chosen. And I gotta tell you, it’s the only option you’re most likely gonna be able to commit to long term. And long term is much longer with this option. Plus, it’s such a relief to know you’re not in charge of things like…

          • Gravity
          • Oxygen
          • Water
          • Sunlight
          • Moon dimensions…etc…etc…etc
          • So, if you decide to take a pass on the whole master of the universe thing, consider the prayer option.

            Pray to the God of Creation and thank Him that He made you, the world, the universe, and everything in it. Thank God He didn’t leave it up to men and women. Because we haven’t even mastered which clothes go in which cycle of the washing machine.

            Thank God

            In the best of times, where’s the challenge?

            In the worst of times, where’s your choice?
            And in the fevered pitch, where’s the silence?
            When the love is breached, where’s the voice?
            Could you have your very life taken from you
            While the world stood at your feet?
            Wouldn’t that completely stop and numb you?
            Wouldn’t you admit defeat?
            Well, thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…
            Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you. (repeat)

            In the darkest hours, who’s your Father?

            In the scheme of things, who’s the One?
            And in the best laid plans, who’s the Spirit?
            When your heart is healed, who’s the Son?
            Could you let your very blood be taken
            For your friends who’d run away?
            Wouldn’t all your faith and hope be shaken?
            Would you even think to pray?

            Thank God He didn’t leave it up to you…

            (repeat twice)

            Lyrics © 2009 (me)

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            The post Master of the universe: one is better, one is worse appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

            12 min
          • Predict the future but don’t be too sure

            I can predict people will still be living on Earth a thousand years from now. And that prediction includes their ability to drink water, eat real food, and breathe fresh air. Yep, that’s right. I can predict the future.

            But, just because I can predict the future like that doesn’t mean much.

            No, I’m not a prediction savant. And I don’t play one on YouTube. So, just because I can predict the future with confidence still doesn’t mean I think I know it all (and I knew that’s what you were thinking about me just now).

            Yeah, I’m what you might call a prognosticating magician. Oh yeah, you know it’s true. Given enough time that’s what you’d call me. At least once you discover some of my secrets of diversion.

            Anyway…

            Someone, long before me, shared some predictions about how long this planet could last. And, when you consider how accurate that source has been time after time after time, there’s no point in doubting the accuracy of any “future talk.”

            So, I’ve shared what I’ve shared, up to this point, to point out how outrageous the end-of-civilization claims are. And in recent years, as they’ve attempted to predict a dystopian future, those claims have gotten increasingly stupid. And they reveal who the control freaks are. Good news is, they’re just clanging brass clowns and provisional, passing puppets. And, in the long run (eternity), their message will vaporize.

            But they DO get to have their 15 minutes of fame right now. So, as they slither through their slogan-filled sleepwalk, we can focus on things that are pure and praiseworthy. Because…

            We Know

            Chicken little, chicken little,

            That old, darn sky just won’t fall.
            But I guess that doesn’t matter
            Long as they can fool us all
            Into thinking that the climate
            Is an enemy we’ve made
            Just by breathing and by living.
            It’s a heat wave masquerade.
            But discerners don’t believe it.
            Yes, we know where Truth is found.
            And we know the sky will not fall
            And the Earth will spin around
            For as long as God determines.
            He has made that point quite clear.
            So, go spout your hoaxes elsewhere.
            Earth will still be fine next year!

            © 2023

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            The post Predict the future but don’t be too sure appeared first on Tony Funderburk.

            8 min

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