Too Dumb for Games

Travis and Paul were taking a little nap, so Jaccob and Nick do another quickplay episode and play a tiny little AEG game called Agent Hunters all by themselves.

Agent Hunters, it turns out, is a nice little card counting game. It's really quick, it's cheap, and you'll probably enjoy it once or twice. It's like a candy bar at check out, but for game stores. Anyways, enjoy this little short form episode!

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Do you know what makes Jenga 1000x times better? The mind of Travis Abshear, and drinking, and party game rules, that is what. We play a game of Travis' own creation: Consequenga!

Consequenga is a game about friendship, and breaking ice, and getting weird with your pals at parties. The Jenga pieces have numbers on the bottom, and when you draw a piece, you have to follow a rule matching your number. It's kind of like Captain Dickhead, or whatever you call it, only way more interesting. Travis gets pretty tipsy. Everyone reveals their deepest fears. Someone knocks over a tower.

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We played the Back to the Future: An Adventure Through Time, and learned what "88 gigawatts of fun" feels like. It feels a lot like playing an awful cash grab of a board game, turns out.

Do you remember all the times that Marty and Doc Brown murdered future and past versions of themselves and used their own time-blood as fuel for the Delorian? Because this game sure does use that as its primary mechanic. None of us could quite recall those parts of the movie, so I guess it's about time for a re-watch? 

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The Insane Clown Posse made a game. It's called Into the Echoside We played it.

Nick has too many layers of clown makeup caked to his face to ever scrape it off, Jaccob murdered Travis with a hatchet in ritual sacrifice to the 12 faced Joker god, Paul was sent to hell after being judged a sinner in the Tunnel of Love at the Dark Carnival, and Travis pounds Faygo with his homies in Shangri La. The game was actually pretty all right. Nice job ICP. 

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Turns out somebody made a Twin Peaks board game back in the early 90s. Season 3 just started, and it's our duty to unearth this weird cultural artifact. But maybe we should've just left it in the box.

Travis, Nick, Paul, and Jaccob are now trapped in the Red Room. The game is a trap, perfectly crafted to be the worst board game we've ever played, and damning its players to an eternity in the Black Lodge. We'll see you in your dreams.

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We've returned to Nick's collection of childhood games again, with Dread Pirate, a game by Steve Edmiston and Front Porch Classics!

Nick, Paul, Travis, and Jaccob compete to be the most dreadful pirate in a fantastical Caribbean analog! There are so many vibrantly colored beads and small metal coins, and you get to put them into vibrantly colored faux-velvet pouches! Everything here is so beautiful! It's a shame it's just not very good though.

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We've got Czech Games Edition (well, not the people [we'll get the people someday], but their game) in the studio this week, with Adrenaline!

Adrenaline is a first person arena shooter distilled into board game form! Paul plays a reptilian, Travis becomes that blue opera alien from the Fifth Element, Nick's a fun loving murderbot, & Jaccob becomes generic space marine. Bloodshed and friendship ensue, and CGE, as always, makes some of the best games around.  

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Oh man it's another Too Dumb for Games QUICKPLAY ft. Poop: the Game, and Jaccob and Travis!

Have you ever thought to yourself, gee, Uno would really be a lot better without the colors, but with poop jokes instead? No? I guess there were enough people out there thinking exactly that thought, because Poop: the Game got Kickstarted and found its way onto our shelf, into our hands, and into your ears. Poop is everywhere. We're sorry. 

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Here's a remaster of our review of the Fast & the Furious board game to celebrate the release of Fate of the Furious, featuring way better editing!

This week, Jaccob, Travis, Paul, and Nick get right up in one of the greatest film franchises of all time: Fast and the Furious. That is correct, there is a Fast and the Furious board game. Why? Your guess is as good as ours, but wow is it fun. 

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 This week we play Eight Epics, by Seiji Kanai! We also goof up just about every fact about the game's development, so, uh, oops.

Eight Epics is a game about math, and dice, with a theme draped over it! It's also a game that inspires obsessive discussion about the myriad benefits of regular, unstoppable granola consumption, so if you're a granola fan, check it out. If you're a fan of Seiji Kanai, this game, or people who know things about board games, beware, because we actually didn't like this one very much. 

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