Top 5 at Five

It’s hump day! And Stimi Day (Stimulus check). And it’s not tax day this year. Noice! In this one, we spoke talk about a bunch of rona related economy news like the airlines’ stimulus deal, the effect it’s having on SAT and ACTs and a new bill for more money for americans; A tech company makes it easier to file for Unemployment Insurance, by going back in time; Amazon is making a killing on us, but no longer sharing as much of the wealth in affiliate programs; Apple shows it’s not scared of this virus so it dropped a new iPhone in March, the iPhone SE; and the Kansas City Chiefs not only won the Super Bowl, they might’ve helped save the West Coast and America.

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• U.S. Airlines’ Lifeline Is Enough to Limp Along, But Little More - Bloomberg

Hey. If you’re reading this. Send help.

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• North Korea fires barrage of missiles from ground and air - AP News

Hey. It’s Monday. In this one, Bernie fully endorses Joe Biden’s campaign. A lot faster than 2016; Disney’s Bob Iger is back running things during the ronas; Scientists did the science thing and found a new enzyme to destroy plastic bottles, but still make new ones; There’s too many damn chicken wings now. Not a problem. I’ll be back; and the NFL still plans to play this year, how they prepare for the season will be a challenge.

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• Bernie Sanders endorses Joe Biden, they announce 'working groups' on policy issues - ABC News

It’s Friday y’all! In this one we talked about need for rubbers for Tocamé Fridays; The two big tech giants team up to track us; there’s more to do with your kids and an  product; we meet our D-Bags of the Week; and no more doggies in the window, that’s a beautiful thing.

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• Trojan Urges Retailers to Include Condoms as Essential COVID-19 Item | Observer

In this one we talk about the Federal Reserve ready to make it rain on the economy again; SteakUmm’s twitter account is dropping that knowledge (this MF’er spittin); Google’s Android gets more accesible with a braille keyboard; Who exactly is an essential worker? Bosses stretching the rules; and Puzzle are not only hard to finish, but difficult to make too.

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• Here’s How Those Hot Jigsaw Puzzles Are Made - The New York Times

It’s Hump Day! In this one, we updated you on Bernie’s High School Dropout; La Doña Will Save America; We called dibs on the Moon in 1969; Instacart offers preflight plans; and Mickey D’s is finally ditching some of that single use plastic.

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• McDonald's UK Will Stop Putting Plastic Toys in Happy Meals - Gizmodo

In this one, we updated you on the rona situation aboard the USNS Comfort and in the city of Detroit; We updated our Big tech companies that are doing it big for the cause, this time Dan Gilbert and Quicken; Wisconsinites are actually voting today; MLB wants to play baseball in hell; And now you can Netflix and walk away from your kids more often with new controls.

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• USNS Comfort Approved to Take COVID-19 Patients as Crew Member Tests Positive – NBC New York

We start a new week! In this one, we updated you on the New York plateau, or apex depending on how you look at the data, Tesla comes through with a brand new model that’ll save your breath, there’s free premium tv out there for now, don’t miss out, you’re in 15% better hands with Allstate now and we catch up on this little old lady that kicked the vid’s arse.

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• ‘No Time to Be Lax:’ Cuomo Extends New York Shutdown, NJ Deaths Top 1,000 – NBC New York

It’s the WEEKEND. In this one we updated you on masks. What’s the deal with those now?; Did the prez really say it’s unfair if you don’t have health Insurance; Tesla is selling cars and that’s a good thing; WeWork might be outta work soon, and How many engineers does it take to fix a ventilator?

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• Trump says it 'doesn't seem fair' that 30 million Americans are uninsured and suggests he may expand Medicare or Medicaid

We back baby! In this one, we updated you on some of the rona news including a deranged train engineer; TSprintMo is now a thing so I hope you finally get coverage; I’d really like for church goers to be smarter than this but oh well; all while we drink a lot more during the crisis, but at least kids started a newspaper to read.

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• Anthony Fauci’s security is stepped up as doctor and face of U.S. coronavirus response receives threats - Philadelphia Inquirer