Toras Avigdor

Hearing Hashem’s MessagesYISRO LEARNS SOMETHING NEWOurparshahthis week begins with the story of Yisro leaving the comfort of his hometown to travel out into the dangerous wilderness to visit the encampment of theAm Yisroel. And for what reason did he undertake such a journey? Why would a man like Yisro, a man of nobility in Midian, forsake his home to go to themidbar? So the Torah tells us, וישמע יתרו – Because he heard something that stirred his mind. When Yisro was informed of what had happened inMitzrayimand at theYam Suf, there was some great ideal that was triggered in his mind. And it was that ideal that caused him to make that fateful decision to come out to the wilderness to join his son-in-law and theAm Yisroelin their happiness.Now when he arrived we know that he made abrachahon theneisthat happened to the people of Hashem: ברוך השם אשר הציל אתכם מיד מצרים ומיד פרעה – “Hashem should be blessed for having rescued you from the hands of Pharaoh and the Egyptians” (Yisro 18:10). And in the climax of his praises of Hashem, Yisro added apeirush, some details about theneisofKriyas Yam Sufthat we should consider carefully. עתה ידעתי – “Now I know,” said Yisro, כי גדול השם מכל האלוהים, “that Hashem is greater than all gods.” “I recognized Him in the past,” explains Rashi, “but now I know Him even more.” And that’s a remarkable statement because Yisro had already known ofHashem Elokei Yisroelthrough his own reasoning, as well by the traditions of his own family of Midian, who was the son of Avraham (Bereishis 25:2), and he had surely heard from Moshe Rabeinu as well. He knew very much about Hakodosh Boruch Hu, more than many of us sitting here. “But now,” said Yisro, “Now I know Hashem even more, with an Awareness, an understanding, that I didn’t have before.” And so we should be very interested in this – what exactly was it that Yisro saw; what was it that led him to say, עתה ידעתי, “NowI know.” Because that’s something that we should be striving for all the time; more and moreda’as Hashem; greater heights in knowing Hashem. If we could say, “NowI know,” like Yisro did, then we’ve already accomplished something great with our lives.WHY DIDN’T PHARAOH GET ALZHEIMER’S?And so we look to Yisro’s own words for an explanation: עתה ידעתי… כי בדבר אשר זדו עליהם – “Inowknow about Hashem…because in the thing in which זדו, in which the Egyptians have dealt wickedly, עליהם, it came upon them” (Yisro 18:10). Yisro had watched from the sidelines for many years as the Egyptians tried to wreak havoc on theAm Yisroel; and now it was many years later and Yisro was studying the great catastrophe that had befallen theMitzri’im. And Yisro thought about what he saw – he didn’t just let it go by. “Why were they drowned in water?” he thought. “What was the purpose of such a great destruction? Did Hashem drown the Egyptiansjust to save the Am Hashem?” If that was true, Hashem could have saved His people in a much simpler fashion. Pharaoh could have just made up his mind that he had enough. The tenmakkosshould have been the end of his futile escapades with the children of Hashem. What does he need moretzarosfor; to start up again withHashem Elokei Yisroel? And so, once he let them out of his land he should have saidbaruch shepatrani, “I’m glad I got rid of them and now I’m done!”And even if he lost his head and wanted to chase after theBnei Yisroel,Hakadosh Baruch Hu could have saved us in a much less complicated way.He should have made Pharaoh catch the flu or maybe He could have made him get Alzheimer’s disease. Everything could have happened in a natural way, and Pharaoh wouldn’t have pursued theAm Yisroelaltogether. But instead, Pharaoh changed his mind – and actually we’ll say more correctly that it wasHashem who changed Pharaoh’s mind– and he pursued them. He didn’t have enough; he was looking for more. And he got it!HASHEM DOES THINGS FOR A PURPOSE!And if you’ll say – and you’re right to say so – that Hashem wanted to show His might to theAm Yisroel,to give them the gift of moreemunah, and that’s why this whole charade had to play out; OK, but what’s this whole business with the water? Why didn’t some conflagration come upon them like it came, let’s say, on the camp ofSancheriv? A terrible fire could have came upon them when they set out to pursue the Am Yisroel and the Egyptian army would have become ash. Or a pestilence could have destroyed them, like it came upon other enemies of theAm Hashem.All this was going through the mind of Yisro. Why did it happen in this case that they were drowned?“It just happened that way,” you’ll say. But for people like Yisro that’snotthe way to think. Because he understood that there’s a principle in the dealings of Hashem, the principle that Hakodosh Baruch Hu does everything with a purpose. “And as much as I can,” reasoned Yisro, “I should aim to study events and their purposes as much as possible.” That’s how Yisro was thinking: “Hakadosh Baruch Hu always does things for a purpose.”So Yisro looked back at what had happened inMitzrayim. The decree, כל הבן היולד היאורה תשליכוהו, that every newborn son should be cast into the water to drown, had happened a very long time ago; it was eighty years already. But Yisro, when he saw the the final chapter of the career of Pharaoh and his Egyptians, he began to think. When he considered the fate of theMitzri’imwho were drowned in the water, he was wise enough to think that Hashem does everything with a purpose, and he looked back to discover for what crime the Egyptians were being punished. And he came to the conclusion that it was for the crime of casting Jewish children into the Nile that they themselves were now being drowned. Yisro said, “I see something here that I’m not going to ignore. I see a remarkable poetic justice here. Pharaoh and the Egyptians who had drowned little Jewish boys in water, are now themselves laying dead at the bottom of the Yam Suf because that’s what they did to the children of theAm Yisroel.”THE PRIMITIVE ANCIENTS KNEW BETTER THAN THE SCIENTISTSNow, we would be wise to think along with Yisro, and to achieve some of the perfection that he achieved on that day in themidbar, but first we must understand the principle which underlies Yisro’s words. And that is theemunahthat there are no accidents in the world. The very first lesson that a Jew has to learn is thatHashem Echad,that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in charge of everything.HashemEchadmeans He is the only One who controls all the affairs of the universe; whatever happens comes directly from Him. And if that’s the case, everything has a purpose.Now what that means for us is that when a person attributes some happening merely to natural causes, what it really is is a sublimated form of atheism. Of course Hakadosh Baruch Hu acts through causes, absolutely. You know, the textbooks try to ridicule the old generations; they deride the ancient ideas of attributing epidemics to acts of G-d. The scientists think that they’re smarter because they know that there are bacteria; because they have the tools today to see microorganisms so they think they know much more. But that’s because they don’t understand how the ancients thought. Everybody in the ancient world understood just fine that Hakadosh Baruch Hu acts through agents. What the agents are, that’s a different story. But they believed in agents then too. Only that because the scientist today can see the agents better, he can study them, analyze them, and write scholarly papers about them, so what happens? This educated fool begins to believe in the agents themselves, that’s all. But all that is just a wicked mix of education, hubris and ignorance that leads him on the path toward foolishness; because there’s no question that you can be an up-to-date scientist and still understand that all the natural causes are agents of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And therefore, the wise person, the one who lives withemunahin Hashem, is prepared to look at all the events in this world,even the small and seemingly unimportant mishaps in his own life,as messages from Hashem.TAKE THE DIRECTIONS!This however requires some explanation if we expect to apply it to our lives in its most practical form. And those of you who come here know that this is our goal, to break things down to its most simplest form so that we can best apply it in our lives. So we’ll start the explanation with thegemarain Makkos (10b). Thegemaracomments on the possuk יורה חטאים בדרך – “Hashem shows the sinners the way; He teaches the sinners the way back to Him” (Tehillim 25:8). And thegemarasays there, אם חטאים יורה צדיקים לא כל שכן – “If Hashem is kindly to the sinners, to those persistent rebels against the Torah, and nevertheless Hakodosh Boruch Hu gives them messages, then surely He is kind to His loyal servants.” He gives them messages too. Why would Hashem ignore His loyal ones?What that means is that in this life, everybody is getting constant direction from Hashem. Hakodosh Boruch Hu doesn’t forsake mankind and therefore when a person embarks on a wrong course in life, it could be a minor thing or a big thing, in any case, Hakodosh Boruch Hu does not neglect the opportunities to teach him. From time to time, He guides us by giving instruction and direction. And therefore everybody has opportunities to improve their ways and go on the right path. That’s a fundamental principle in how Hashem directs the life of man, that He’s teaching the sinners the way back to Him. And nobody therefore can claim exemption; everyone is going to be held responsible for ignoring the messages from Hashem. And if a man willfully closes his eyes to the directions of Hashem, so not only will he continue to go lost, but he’s simply a fool. Let’s say a man is driving to Cleveland and he loses his way; so if he has any sense, he stops at the gasoline station and asks for directions. Now suppose he ignores them; he doesn’t pay heed to the directions and he’s still lost. So he stops at a payphone to call his cousin for directions, and he ignores those instructions as well! So not only will he be lost forever, but there’s no bigger fool than he!THE NEXT WORLD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN CLEVELANDAnd the road of life, the road to the Next World, is much more important than a road trip to Cleveland. And it’s also much easier to make wrong turns on the road of life. And therefore, it’s most important to understand the mishaps of life in the sense of them being directions from Hashem. They’re not natural, and they’re not accidents – they are instructions being sent to us for the purpose of helping us find our way back onto the highway toOlam Habah. And if you’ll listen to Hashem’s voice, if you’ll study His messages and understand them, so you’ll know in what way you have to improve, and how to better walk the road of life.The question is, when a misfortune happens to a person how should he know for which wrongs this punishment is being sent? So what we’re going to study now is that Hakodosh Boruch Hu gives a clue. And that’s the famous principle ofmidah k’neged midah. He sends the misfortune in such a way that it gives you a clue as to what it came for. And that’s the discovery that Yisro made when he studied the hand of Hashem against theMitzri’iminMitzrayimand at theYam Suf.It was at this momentous occasion in history that Yisro discovered the way of Hashem that we callmidah k’neged midah. כי בדבר אשר זדו – “In that which theMitzri’imschemed against the Jewish people, עליהם – it came right back on their heads.”HASHEM INSTRUCTS THE SNAKESAnd he discovered it forourbenefit. Because if Yisro was able to come toda’as Hashem– after all, he said “NowI know,” – because of his study of this way of Hashem in this world, so we should consider it an obligation upon ourselves to do the same. Hakodosh Boruch Hu wrote thatpossukin the Torah because He wants us to recognize as much as we can that this is one of thedarkei Hashem, one of the ways that Hashem manages things in this world. And it’s an important principle that is constantly reiterated in theTorah, Neviim, Kesuvim,and in thegemaraeverywhere – and if we would look into our own history, we’d see it as well.So the principle we are discussing here is that Hakodosh Boruch Hu gives us clues – when something happens, it’s not merely a misfortune, it’s a clue. So if you want to know why something is happening, look at thewayit happened. We’ll take apossukin Koheles (10:8) as an example. חופר גומץ – “If a man digs a pit in the ground, בו יפול, into it he will fall.” If somebody wants to cause a pitfall to somebody else, and he digs a hole in the ground, sohe’sgoing to fall into a hole in the ground – sometimes in the same hole that he made, ופורץ גדר – “And he who breaks down a fence – a malicious man is trying to break down your fence, so ישכנו נחש, a snake will come out from the wall that he’s banging on, and it will bite him.” Now, a snake could come from somewhere else and bite him. But Hakodosh Boruch Hu tells all the snakes, “Stay out of this! I only want the snakesfrom this wall!” Because they have a very important job over here, a lesson has to be taught! And that’s the lesson ofmidah k’neged midah.And the truth is that it’s a principle of such overwhelming importance that it becomes one of the most significant actors in men’s lives.SHIMSHON HAD BEAUTIFUL EYESThegemara(Sotah 8b) says it like this: במדה שאדם מודד מודדין לו – “In the way a man measures out to others, so too is it measured out to him.” What does that mean? It’s telling us that the punishment that a man gets in this world in some way resembles the thing that he’s done wrong. Now you all remember when Shimshon wanted to convert thePlishtiwoman,Delilah, and marry her. His parents weren’t so excited; they argued with him about it. “Why don’t you take abas Yisrael?Aren’tthere enough girls from your own people to choose from?! What’s so good about a gentile woman that you have to choosedavkahher? But Shimshon was adamant about his choice. He said “Take her for me כי היא ישרה בעיני, because she is good in my eyes” (Shoftim 14:3).Now of course you have to know that Shimshon converted her. There’s no question about that. To marry Shimshon, any woman would be willing to be a convert; who wouldn’t fall for such a handsome and strong young man? And so she willingly became agiyores.Now I’m not going to tell you that it was such a high-class conversion, but she was converted, and you can be sure she kept the laws of the Torah.You must also know that Shimshon Hatzadik had beautiful eyes, the eyes of atzadik, and if he said that Delilah is “good in my eyes,” he knew what he was talking about. Why Shimshon took aPlishtiwife is because he wanted to mingle with thePlishtimas one of them; he became amechutannow. By this excuse he was able to mix with them, and to know their business and to intimidate them. He looked for excuses to humiliate them.TERRORIZING THE PHILISTINESAnd it was a strategy that worked; that’s how he kept them quiet so that they shouldn’t harm theAm Yisroel.Shimshon was able to harass them, and to terrorize them so much that he kept them quiet. Although they had power to molest theAm Yisroel, they were afraid to do so because of Shimshon. And Shimshon achieved all this by means of thisPlishtiwoman he married. By means of her relatives he got his way into the company of thePlishtipeople, and he succeeded. Because of Shimshon it was a quiet time for theAm Yisroel.And yet, it was still a very grave error. Because Hakodosh Boruch Hu didn’t agree with Shimshon’s strategy. “That’syourplan, but I don’t like it. I don’t like plans that involve your eyes looking at gentile girls.” Because no matter how much of al’sheim shamayimthere was, still there was some element there of “she is pleasing in my eyes.” And this, Hakadosh Baruch Hu didn’t like. For a man like Shimshon to say “She’s pleasing in my eyes,” Hakadosh Baruch Hu didn’t like that business. “She’s good in your eyes?! What about My eyes?!”THECHACHOMIMSTUDY HISTORYYou all know the story of how Shimshon lost his eyes. He was captured by thePlishtimand they poked out his eyes with forks. Just before he died they brutally took out his eyes. So here was the once powerful Shimshon, and now he weakened and blind, standing there with his hands bound, in the presence of thePlishtiaudience who were jeering at him and mocking him. Shimshon was about to die, and so instead of being tormented to death by thePlishtim, he asked Hakodosh Boruch Hu, “Please restore my strength to me for one last moment so that I can do one more heroic deed for my people.” And he pushed heavily on the pillars upon which the roof was supported, and he knocked them over and the roof came crashing down. And he killed a great number of the notables of thePlishtim. He threw down the building on their heads and he perished together with thousands of their great men. They had such amapalahon that day because of Shimshon – he squashed so manyPlishtinotables and dignitaries under that roof that thePlishtimwere quiet for twenty years after that. If one Jew could do that to them, they weren’t interested in the wholegesheft.That’s a remarkable story; even young children love this story. But there’s a much more important element to that story than just the revenge that Shimshon wrought on thePlishtim– and it’s an element that often goes unnoticed. Because why was Shimshon given such an end that he should lose his eyes? It’s amishnah: שמשון הלך אחר עיניו לפיכך נקרו פלשתים את עיניו “Because Shimshon followed after his eyes, that’s why he lost his eyes” (Sotah 1:8, 9b). Now we don’t know exactly what these words mean because Shimshon had very good eyes. But at least we have to learn these words very well – that Shimshon “followed his eyes,” and “that’s why thePlishtimtook out his eyes.”Now it doesn’t say that in the book ofShoftim, that this is the reason why his eyes were taken out. But thechachomimstudied history through the lens of the Torah and they came to this conclusion. Why did it happen that he lost his eyes, that his eyes were taken out? It can’t be that it wasb’mikreh, just an accident of fate. So they searched and they found thepossuk,כי היא ישרה בעיני, “She is goodin my eyes.”THE MIGHTY MAN STUDIES PARSHAS YISRONow don’t think that thechachomimwere wise enough to figure this out, but Shimshon wasn’t. I’ll tell you what was going on in the great head of Shimshon in the moments before he died. It’s important for us to know what he was thinking. He said, “Ribono Shel Olam, what happened to me that I am blind now? I, who was the great hero – all the enemies feared me – and now I’m a blind captive. Who made me blind, thePlishtim?! I’m not going to be such a fool and say that!”So you can be certain that Shimshon was making use of the great principle ofmidah k’neged midahin the moments before he died. Shimshon was following that principle, absolutely. And therefore he began to think, “Why were my eyes poked out? Maybe I misused my eyes.” In his last moments, he remembered the great lesson of theTorah. Shimshon also learnedParshasYisro, and he learned it better than we learn it here. And he remembered that he had once said: קחנה לי כי היא ישרה בעיני – “Take her for me because she is good in my eyes.” “Ahhh,” said Shimshon, בדבר אשר זדו, in that whichIsinned, עליהם, it came uponme. I shouldn’t have said, ‘She’s right in my eyes.’ What aboutb’einei Hashem,in the eyes of Hashem? Did I think about His eyes?!”So Shimshon struck his chest and said, “I sinned before You Hashem; please forgive me and restore my strength to me so that I can make amends, so that I can do one more deed of service to You.” And that’s how Shimshon left the world. תמות נפשי עם פלישתים, he perished with thePlishtim, after recognizing the way of Hashem in this world, and making himself better because of it.HASHEM TRIES SPEAKING TO THE FOOLAnd that’s what thegemara(Brachos 5a) says: אם רואה אדם שיסורים באים עליו, “If a man sees misfortune coming on him”, יפשפש במעשיו, “let him examine his deeds”. Chazal are telling us that whenever something happens to a man, he should utilize it as an occasion to become better. Now this doesn’t mean that some big catastrophe has to happen to him. Because, of course, if a man is dealt a big misfortune, he’s drowning in the Yam Suf let’s say, or his eyes were poked out by the gentiles, so he’d better wake up and get busy recognizing the messages of Hashem because there might not be too much time left for him. Nobody would be such a fool as to ignore the big messages.So if you’re laying on the operating table, there’s no question at all that it’s a very big message from Hashem. And let’s say he’s being strapped down and they’re putting the mask over his face, and even then he’s thinking. “It just happened this way; it just turned out that I have a weak heart or whatever it is.” He’s an Orthodox Jew but he doesn’t connect it with Hakodosh Boruch Hu at all! Hashem is showing him open signs, He’s being spoken to by Hashem, but he ignores Him. There’s no bigger failure than that!DOES SUFFERING HAVE A LIMIT?But we’re not even talking about that now; we’re talking about the better ones, the ones whowouldreact to big signs. We’re talking about intelligent servants of Hashem who want to spare themselves the rough treatment, the big messages. They prefer to hear Hashem speaking to them with smaller messages. What type of signs shouldtheyinterpret as messages from Hashem, as Hashem in His mercy trying to guide them in the right way?So for that we’ll look at agemarainArachin(16b). The question is raised there: עד היכן תכלית יסורים – “Until how far is the limit of suffering?” Now at first glance, we should be bothered – what kind of question is that? There’s no limit to suffering; people suffer in all types of ways, all forms ofyissurim. But what thegemarameans is this: How small can a misfortune be and still be called suffering that you should take it as a hint from Hashem? What thegemarais searching for are examples of visitations from Hashem, punishments or warnings,but in its most minimum form.THE TRAGEDY OF HAVING TOO MUCH MONEY IN YOUR POCKETאמר רבי אלעזר, Rebbe Elazar says, כל שארגו לו בגד ללבוש ואין מתקבל עליו, “If they wove for him a new garment, they made him a new shirt, but he’s not satisfied with it”. The shirt is able to keep him covered and warm, and it fits him too, but it just doesn’t satisfy him. Eventhatis called suffering, that’s calledyissurim. So Rav Z’eirah asked on that: Does it have to be such abig misfortunelike that to be calledyissurim? גדולה מזו אמרו – even a biggerchiddushwas said by thechachomim: “Even if he wanted his wine to be mixed with warm water and by error they mixed it with cold water. Or his intention was to mix it with cold water and by accident he put in warm water, even that is calledyissurim.” Even that is a misfortune! This man who wants his wine one way and gets it another way has already suffered, ואת אמרת כולי האי “and you’re discussing such a big misfortune like a garment that doesn’t please you?” After all a garment you don’t make every day. And now when you finally get it, it doesn’t please you. That’s your idea of a small misfortune?! Something like that, everyone should understand that it’s a visitation by Hashem. So you see that we’re looking here for the smallest possible thing that can be called a misfortune.And thegemarakeeps searching: מר בריה דרבינא אמר, Mar the son of Ravina said the following, אפילו נהפך לו חלוקו – “If he’s putting on his undershirt, and he accidentally put it on upside down.” So now he has to take it off and put it on again. That’s called a misfortune that should stir your mind! And just so you should know how small of a bother something could be and you’re still expected to learn from it, thegemarathere brings one more example of suffering that should bring a man to change his ways: אפילו הושיט ידו לכיס ליטול שלש – “He put his hand in his pocket to take out a three dollar bill, and there came out a two dollar bill,” That’s a misfortune and it means that you’re being called on by Hashem to begin investigating your ways. Now, this man has both in his pocket, he has enough money, it’s just that the wrong bill came out. And he’ll put his hand back in and take out the right bill. But no matter, that was already a call from Hashem.THE TROLLEY OPERATOR GETS SUEDSo we’re not talking here about some big mishap that might occur on the city bus. Suffering doesn’t mean that if you get on a bus – this is a true story by the way; it happened to a relative of mine – when he got on the bus, it was the trolley in those days, and he couldn’t find any money, so he got nervous and he lost his head. He didn’t know what to do so he said to the conductor, “I’ll write you a check.” The conductor didn’t think it was funny though. He took him by his neck and threw him off. Now to be thrown off the trolley onto the street in public, that even we understand is a misfortune. He landed on his backside and he was very embarrassed. The truth is that it happened that there was a lawyer on the trolley. So the lawyer got off the trolley and told my relative, “I’ll take your case.” And the lawyer collected good money from the city for him. So it turned out that even in this misfortune he found a pot of gold.But we’re talking now about things much smaller than that, tiny things that often go unnoticed. And the pot of gold that we’re looking foris not a check from the city – I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take a payout from the city, but we’re looking for something much better than that; we’re looking to make something out of ourselves in this world. And so the principle is that a man must always keep his eyes wide open, all the time, to find that pot of gold. Because these small messages are being missed all the time by most of us. And the most valuable wealth you can achieve is when you learn to take a hint from Hakadosh Baruch Hu.THE BUS DRIVER AND THE TAILORSo suppose you get on the bus and you have money. You have the thirty-five cents to pay for the trip, only that you forgot in which pocket you placed it. So you’re standing on the bus and the driver is waiting for you because there are people behind you. And you put your hand into the wrong pocket and you’re rummaging around trying to find it. Or maybe it’s the right pocket and you happen to take out a different coin. So you have to reach in again, and you’re somewhat embarrassed – people are pushing. So when you finally sit down, you have to think it over. Why did that happen? It’s a messagemin hashamayim! That’s how an intelligent servant of Hashem should react to even a small misfortune like that. ThegemarainArachinis teaching us thateven thatis called suffering. And why does thegemaratell us that? For what purpose? So that we should notchas v’shalomregard these small mishaps as accidents!It’s extreme? It’s too much to expect? Nothing is too much to expect if we accept the true principle ofyoreh chatoim baderech, that Hashem shows the sinners the way. And even those of us who aretzaddikim, Hashem is trying to teach us too, thegemarasays. He’s trying to teach us the time. So although you might be a bigtzadik, but let’s say something like that happened to you – you bought a new suit, and you took it home after the alterations and it doesn’t please you – that’s a message. Even a dumbbell has to react to that! That’s whyRav Z’eirahmade sure to stress that that isnotan example of asmallmisfortune; becauseanybodyshould notice that!What we’re learning here is that this is one of thedarkei Hashem; that in so many cases when He visits small misfortunes on people, He’s trying to guide you. And what Yisro taught us is that it always pays to study the misfortune because very often Hashem is using His way ofmidah k’neged midahto teach you.THE DENTIST DOES NOT SERVE ICE CREAMSo it happens sometimes; Hashem might send troubles. And that’s His way of letting us know that something is wrong, that we’re going on the wrong path. אם רואה אדם שיסורין באין עליו,“When you see trouble coming,” – a toothache! That’s enough trouble; so יפשפש במעשיו, “let him look into his deeds”. It’s an important principle; it’s a callminhashamayim: “Look into your deeds!”Often you’re able to discern the reason why it came. If you’re lying on an operating table, so before they administer anesthesia, you should be thinking, “What happened that I came to this?” And not only on the operating table – in the dentist chair too. If you suffer in your teeth, you’d better get busy discovering, maybe you misused your teeth. And if you’re suffering in your stomach, maybe you misused your stomach. So you can use the way of Hashem,midah k’neged midaheven in the bathroom when you’re constipated. And in the kitchen too. You got a little cut on your finger? Start thinking! You lost some money? You have a cold? You banged your toe? You have to do some investigating. Whatever it is – I’m not capable of interpreting everything – but you should most definitely use this way of Hashem in this world to become a better person.So let’s say you’re sitting in the dentist chair and he says, “Open wide!” And he doesn’t put a spoonful of ice-cream into your mouth. No, he puts his drill in there and he begins to drill away. So you should be sitting there and thinking, “Why did he tell me that I have to open my mouth to admit the drill? Maybe because I opened my mouth recently when I should have kept it closed.” That’s how you’re supposed to think. So you’ll be a smart aleck and say, “Oh no, that’s not it. In the course of time teeth tend to deteriorate.” That’s not smart at all – that’s thinking like animals think! You know a horse also sits in a dentist chair. It’s a different type of chair but a veterinarian also has to drill a horse’s teeth sometimes. And the horse is not thinking about anything. But that’s not the way a Jew is supposed to sit. When a Jew sits in the chair and the drill is going down and it hurts; whether it hurts much or it hurts a little, it’s in order that he shouldn’t waste his life.ALWAYS BRUSH YOUR TEETH!People have to think that Hakodosh Boruch Hu is giving them a tip, some inside information. Start examining yourself. “Chaim, maybe you were too careless with your tongue.” Of course we understand that whatever happens can have two reasons. Because naturally somebody will say, “Well, he probably didn’t brush his teeth. He ate candy before he went to sleep, and all that sweet stuff was settling around his teeth during the night and rotting it away.” And the truth is that youshouldbrush your teeth every night. Everybody, boys and girls, men and women, should brush their teeth at least once before going to bed. No question that it’s beneficial. But I know a relative of mine who hasn’t brushed his teeth since he was born. I’m not recommending it, but this relative of mine has never gone to the dentist and he doesn’t have a cavity. Now it could happen that he was born with an especial kind of mouth. Could be. But we have to get into our heads theemunahthat besides for the material reason, there’s no question that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is at the controls. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn’t yield control of the universe to bacterias. He’s the boss over them too. And therefore whatever happens is a result of His decree.And when a Jew understands that and he takes the message directly from Hakadosh Baruch Hu to his heart, so a whole new vista ofavodas Hashemopens up before his eyes. And he utilizes it! So as he leaves the dentist’s office, he’s not only leaving with his cavity filled but also his mind is filled with a new resolve to change his ways. And that’s the biggest achievement in life! Much more precious than the fillings in his teeth.YOU DESERVE A PARSHA NAMED AFTER YOUNow if we’ll study this principle more, we’ll see that it’s everywhere. The examples are so many that we need days and days just to list them; and certainly to discuss them it will take an entire lifetime. In our lives, if something happens to us, even a little thing, it pays to investigate, “Why did this happen?” And if we look back, maybe we’ll discover something that was done that caused this thing to happen. Because even a little recognition of Hashem’s messages, and even a small resolve to change, is very precious. Even if the first hour he’ll keep his mind on his mouth, just for one hour after leaving the dentist’s office he won’t talk, he won’t talk, period, for an hour, he’s already a fortunate man. It’s worth having a cruel fellow put a drill into your mouth and to mine into your teeth just to remind you that for the next hour you shouldn’t talk. And if you will be careful with what you say for the next two hours, or the next two days, that’s a tremendous achievement – you deserve to have aparshanamed after you like Yisro had!And therefore as we go through life you have to keep your eyes open for the messages from Hashem. I recall once, I had just learned this, and somebody told me there’s a telephone call for me. So I was running and the telephone booth was very low. I banged my head against the top of the door, and I actually saw stars. Once in my life I realized what it meant to see stars. I saw lights. But I was still fresh off ofmussar seder. I ran out in the middle ofmussarseder. And so I had the presence of mind to think, “That’s what I got for running out of themussarseder. Ahh! You got what you deserved. That’s what you deserved!” Once in my life I was smart enough to take a hint. It just happened because I was in the midst of studying this subject so I was reminded about it, but that’s how we should be all our lives, and life will be one steady procession oftikun,of growth and improvement.GIVE THE BEGGAR A RAISE!If a man was put to shame in public then he has to consider that he has done that to other people. It doesn’t mean that it happened five minutes ago; maybe you have to think back longer than that. Begin looking; you’ll find. יגעת מצאת – If he looks, he’ll find; because there’s a lot to find. And if a man lost money, let’s say you had a hold-up. Or if you stick your hand in your pocket and you find instead of those few quarters you had there, you find a hole in the lining. So don’t be hard-hearted, don’t be like agoyand think that it justhappened. “I should have taken care of the lining in my pocket when I noticed it last week!” Youshouldtake care of your lining; certainly you shouldn’t walk around with a frayed pocket. But now that the quarters are gone, you have to think, “Maybe I was stingy when the poor man came to me in shul. Why did I give him a measly quarter? What’s a quarter nowadays?! Everything has gone up and I’m still giving a quarter? It’s time to give him a raise. And now Hakodosh Boruch Hu is collecting from me. That’s why the quarters left my pocket. Who found it now? Probably some bum found my money; what a waste! What am getting out of it now?!The truth is that if you think these thoughts then you’re getting a lot out of those missing quarters! You just turned seventy-five cents into a pot of gold! Because Rabeinu Yonah says that if as a result of a misfortune a man improves then he should always look back to that mishap with the greatest joy as if he had actually become wealthy as a result. Because improving yourself in this world is a pot of gold. There’s no greater stroke of good luck than if a misfortune happens and because of that you stop a bad habit, you change a bad trait, or makes yourself better in some way. Because that’s the greatest success a man can have in life.WHAT IF I’M WRONG?So if while you’re eating you give a good bite on your tongue, instead of cussing, give a thought. What’s your tongue to blame? Could it be that something is wrong with your tongue? Why not? You’re notsucha tzadik after all. Maybe you should have bitten your tongue earlier in the day when you wanted to say something wrong. נצור לשונך מרע, guard your tongue against saying what you shouldn’t. If you studymidah k’neged midahsomething is bound to turn up. It’s one of the systems by which Hashem lets us know what He wants us to discover, and therefore it’s one of the principles by which a Jew should live his life.“Oh it’s so silly,” somebody will say. A “chochom”will say, “Am I going to waste my life thinking about the things that happened, imputing them to sins which I don’t know about; saying that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sending them upon me for this or that imaginary reason? Maybe it’s not because of that. It could be it’s not because of anything wrong for all I know.” The answer is that it pays to be silly. If you’ll discover a pot of gold, it pays to be silly. And there’s no question you’ll discover it. If you look very hard, you’re going to discover.THERE’S A LOT OF TRUTH IN FRUM JOKESAnd let’s say a person searched and he didn’t find – now that’s improbable. What it means is that he wasn’t searching. But let’s say he did, and he didn’t find. So the gemara says:yitlehb’bitul Torah– let him attribute it to neglect of Torah study, insufficient study of Torah. Torah study! You can always attribute it to that. And some say apeirush; if a man searches and he can’t find any sins,yitleh, he has to say, ”What’s the reason I can’t find any sins? Because ofbitulTorah. It’s because I didn’t study enough Torah, so I think I’m a pretty good fellow. If I would study more I would know what’s expected of me and I would discover a lot!” That’s only a joke – afrumjoke, but there is a lot of truth infrumjokes.And the truth is that if a person is going to search in himself and findanything, so whatever he finds is a success. It’s none of your business why Hakadosh Baruch Hu sent it. Your duty as a Jew is to attribute it to your own faults, and the result will be that you’ll become improved. That’s what counts.Let’s say he made a mistake, and really that’s not exactly why he is being punished. So what of it? Let’s say I sent you into the next room to look for a ten dollar bill. And so you’re looking around in that room, and instead of the ten dollars you find a big box of golden coins. So will you be disappointed? Will you be displeased that I sent you searching?If you’ll make use of the opportunity, even if you won’t guess the real reason, you still struck gold! Let’s say you’ll blame yourself for something else that wasn’t the real reason – but at least in that one thing you’ll improve. And that’s already a greathatzlacha. Rabeinu Yonah says inSha’arei Teshuvah: כאשר יקבל האדם מוסר השם, “If a man accepts the instruction of Hashem, וייטיב דרכיו ומעלליו, and he’ll improve his ways or his deeds, ראוי לו לשמוח עליהם, he shouldrejoice on his misfortunes, on his sufferings, כעל הצלחות הגדולות, as he would rejoice upon the great successes of life”. Because there’s no better fortune in life than to discover something wrong and to have the opportunity to fix things up while you’re still here.DID YOU HAVE A COLD IN NOVEMBER?Before we end our discussion I want to point out to you a very important lesson ofmidah k’neged midahthat often goes lost from our lives – it’s something that most people never think about, and yet it’s the most basic lesson that Hashem wants us to learn. Let’s take a little incident that happens in our daily lives. You picked up your keys from the table to put them in your pocket, but you fumbled and they fell on the floor. So you have to bend over. Now let’s say you’re past forty; when people are past forty they try to avoid bending over as much as they can. And now you have to bend over to pick them up. The first thing that should flash in your mind is, “Why did this happen? It didn’t happen yesterday or the day before. Usually I successfully hold on to the keys and put them in my pocket. Today I fumbled!Yoreh chatoim baderech– Hashem is teaching me something. What is he teaching me?So the first “sin” you should consider is this: Why isn’t it that you didn’t think when the keys fell down, “Look at that! It’s the first time in months that the keys fell down – they don’t fall down every day.” There are people whose hands tremble and most of the time when they pick up the keys, the keys fall out of their hands. But with you, most of the time they don’t fall out of your hands! That’s the first thing you should think about. Look, the keys fell out of my handsthistime. It’s the first time it happened in months, maybe years. If that’s the case, what’s the firstteshuvaI have to do? The firstteshuvais to remind myself how lucky I am; how fortunate Hashem has made me. He has blessed me that such a thing happened to me only once in years!And that is an aspect ofmidah k’negedmidahthat we can apply to our lives always. You caught a cold in the middle of the winter? Why did Hakodosh Boruch Hu do that to you? Your head is pounding, your nose is running, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep. What did you do already to deserve this? So the man who knows how to think, will think as follows: Did I remember to thank Hashem back in the beginning of the winter, after that first week in November, when I didn’t catch a cold? And when the second week in November ended and I was still cold-free, did I take even one minute to say thank you to Hashem? And the next week, and the week after, and all of December? Winter is already almost finished and I never spent two minutes thanking Hakodosh Boruch Hu for keeping me safe from the flu and other illnesses?! Maybethat’swhy I caught a cold.” That’s how to applymidah k’neged midahto our lives.LET’S PUT YISRO’S LESSON INTO PRACTICEBecause it’s not enough to see this way of Hashem in the big catastrophes of life likeKriyas Yam Suf. And it’s surely not enough to seemidah k’neged midahonly in the lives of others, like Yisro did when he heard about theMitzri’imwho were gargling as they drowned in the depths of the waters. This discovery of Yisro of one of the ways of Hashem is given to us as a model to emulate and it’s inour own liveswhere we can find the most success by applying the lesson.Because even if we understand everything we spoke about now, if we don’t begin putting it into practice, then it’s worth very little. It’s vital that we take the principle of Hashem beingyoreh chato’im baderechby means ofmidah k’neged midah,and begin applying it to our own private lives. Even if a person will choose only one thing a day, one small misfortune, one little mishap every day to stir his mind, then he is already a head taller than everyone else. Because he’s taking the great lesson that Hakodosh Boruch Hu taught us in this week’sparshah, and applying it to his own life as he prepares himself for his glory in the Next World by listening to the messages of Hashem in this world. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. There is much overhead to maintain this service so please help us continue our goal of helping Jewish lecturers become podcasters and support us with a donation: https://thechesedfund.com/jewishpodcasts/donate

Learning to Love All Types of JewsONE NATION UNDER G-DWe all know already that the children of Yaakov were inMitzrayimfor two hundred and ten years and it was there that this small family of twelve brothers developed into one great nation. And because they didn’t have any territory to divide among themselves; they were primarily in the area ofGoshenand couldn’t spread out and settle into separate districts, we would have therefore expected that they should have lived together as one people, theAm Bnei Yisrael. L’havdil, like they say in America, “One nation, under G-d.” That’s whatwewould have anticipated.And yet, what do we see? That the developing nation of the children of Yaakov remainedtwelve separateshevatim. For more than two centuries they maintained the boundaries; everybody knew hisshevetand identified primarily with his own tribe. Everyone knew where he belonged.For two hundred years they didn’t give up their individual identity.Yehudah remained Yehudah, Reuven remained Reuven, and Shimon was Shimon. And that’s a remarkable thing because it was inMitzrayimthat they were supposed to grow intooneunified nation. And therefore we should study that; it’s a strange thing and it deserves a great deal of attention.THE GHETTO OF 1776Imagine that for two hundred and ten years Jews lived in America.Let’s say, in 1776 some Jews came to America from Germany and others came from Spain. Some immigrated from England and the Turkish Jews also arrived on the shores of America. So by the time two hundred and ten years would pass, by the time 1986 would come,halevaithey should still remain Jews! But that they should remain segregated into strict boundaries, separate people, living separate lives?!Such a thing couldn’t even be imagined! It’s one nation and the different families and nationalities would all be amalgamated after a while. They would merge together and the boundaries would disappear.And why not? After all, we’re all Jews, one tribe ofovdei Hashem. And yet we see that inMitzrayimit wasn’t like that. Not only did they remain Jews, but they retained their status as separateshevatim.So you’ll say maybe it was something temporary, something reserved for their stay inMitzrayim,when they were still a growing family of different brothers, and not yet a unified nation. But when they would come out ofMitzrayim, so now they’re a full-fledged nation already, so who needs this segregation anymore?THE SPRINGS OF SEGREGATIONAnd yet surprisingly, what we find is that this was the permanent plan ofHashemfor theAmYisroel; it was His conspicuous policy to maintain the individual identity of each tribe. We see that Hakadosh Baruch Hu insisted there should be separateshevatimeven when they came out ofMitzrayim. We find that in ourparsha: ויבואו אילמה ושם שתים עשרה עינות מים – “And they came to Eilim and there were twelve springs of water…and they encamped there near the water” (Beshalach 15:27).Now if the Torah goes out of its way to tell us the number of springs, then the number twelve is not superfluous. Twelve springs?!That wasn’t an accident; that was Hashem’s plan from the days ofma’asehBereishis– they didn’t dig the springs on their own. This was the hand of Hashem guiding His people in the way He wanted for them.So we’ll understand that the springs of much needed fresh water in the parched desert was the preferred place for people to gather. Everyone needs water after all. And therefore there is no doubt that it was the plan of Hashem to have separate springs for each of the twelveshevatim.The plan of Hashem was segregation. TheReuveineeshould spent their time with theReuveinee, theShimoneewith theShimoneeand so on and so forth.And we’re told about it; the separation is emphasized. More than emphasized; Hakodosh Boruch Hu made sure that it would remain that wayalways.ARE WE REALLY “KE’ISH ECHAD”?Because when you learn Torah, if you pay attention to thepesukim, you’ll note that this wasn’t an isolated incident; it was no aberration.You see a very clear thing that this is how theAm Yisroelalways lived in the ancient times- as distinct and dividedshevatim.You remember when they came to receive theTorahatHar Sinai.Everyone knows what the Torah says: ויחן שם ישראל נגד ההר – “And the nation encamped there, opposite the mountain” (Shemos 19:2). And Chazal are bothered by the wordvayichan– andheencamped, in the singular. And they say that the nation made camp כאיש אחד בלב אחד – “Like one man, with one heart” (Rashi, ibid.)However even there we find something very queer. They all encamped together “like one man, with one heart,” and yet Moshe Rabeinu,al pi Hashem,had different plans for them. When they were about to receive theTorah, it says (Shemos 24:4) that Moshe built twelvematzeivos,one for each one of the twelveshevatim.ויבן מזבח תחת ההר ושתים עשרה מצבה לשנים עשר שבטי ישראל – Moshe built – not onemizbei’achat the foot of the mountain, but he builttwelvematzeivosfor each one of theshevatimseparately!That was what Hakodosh Boruch Hu insisted on atkabalas hatorah.Twelve separate “standing stones.” Now that’s very strange. Why was it necessary?They’re all coming to receive theTorahtogether“like one man, with one heart.” What’s the problem with that? Let them come together as one nation!I’ll tell you something else that always bothered me. You know that thekohengadolcarried always on his chest thechoshen, the breastplate. And on the breastplate he had twelve precious stones, each one distinguished from the next; separate colors, set off from each other in separate settings. And on these twelve precious stones were engraved the names of the twelveshevatim.והאבנים תהיין על שמות בני ישראל שתים עשרה על שמותם… איש על שמו תהיין לשני עשר שבט – “The stones should be according to the names of the Bnei Yisroel, twelve according to their names… each man by his name they should be, for the twelve tribes” (Shemos 28:21). That’s what Hashem wanted to see – that in theMishkaneachshevetshould remain separate.And it wasn’t just the symbolicchoshenin theMishkan. It was actually how they lived their lives in themidbar! They lived in separate areas, under different colored flags, each one distinguished from the next. They lived and traveled for forty years segregated from one another – set boundaries, thisshevethere, this one here. There were no walls but there were always clearly defined boundaries.HASHEM WANTS STRONG BORDERSAnd a biggerkashah; even when they came toEretz Yisroel, they should have become one great nation. But no. There were twelve tribes, and each one got a separate territory.That’s a queer thing. Throughout all the generations the fact that they lived apart, within separate boundaries, caused them to have separate lifestyles.They all kept the Torah but each one hadminhagimthat were different.Anshei Galilhad thisminhag, anshei Yehudaa differentminhag. There weredifferent traditions and separateminhagim,and in the course of time many things became very deeply ingrained in them.It was like twelve different nations within one people. And for me, that’s really a very bigkasha –why did there have to be separateshevatimwhen they settled down permanently inEretz Yisroel?Nowlehavdil elef havdaloswhen the English first came to America so they settled here and there; they settled in Massachusetts, and in Connecticut and Virginia. Not because of any reason that they wanted to remain separate; that’s just how it came about. One colony settled here, one there. And after they settled, so in order to manage the collection of taxes, so the head government in England, divided them into states.In each state there was a tax collector, and they had separate offices for each state. But it was for the sake of convenience – not because there was any real difference between the states.They were all the same.All thegoyimare the same.Now it could be that in the course of time they developed certain dialects, certain differences, butlechatchilah, at the beginning they had no intention of being different people.Butlehavdil elef havdaloshere it wasal pi Hashem. The land was divided according to the command, the will, ofHakadosh Baruch Hu. He wanted His people to be separate.I don’t know if it bothers you but it bothers me very much. Now why didn’t they say we should all unite and be one people?Let’s all be one people now.Why should we be broken up into twelve different tribes?Why did they need twelveshevatim? They came out ofMitzrayimand now they’ream echad.They’re one nation.Why keep separateshevatim?And to my little head, that’s a very big question.Why couldn’t it be one country?That’s what we would do if it would have been our littleseichelmaking decisions.EVERYONE BRINGS SOMETHING TO THE TABLE!Now we have to understand; there are no accidents in this world.Hakadosh Baruch Hu has planned these things that way- and it’s a puzzle. And so we’ll try to understand why is that, what is the purpose of Hashem over here?And so we’ll say as follows: It’s clear to us that the purpose of maintaining the individual status of eachshevetis becauseeach tribe possessed its peculiar characteristics, which were its contribution to the general perfection of theAm Yisroel. And Hakodosh Boruch Hu insisted that eachshevetshould maintain its identity, and thereby contribute to the general perfection of theAm Yisroelas a whole.We get so many benefits from eachkehillah, because each group of frum Jews brings something else to the table, some benefit for theAm Yisroel. Our nation wouldn’t be the perfect nation it is, if it wasn’t for the variety of paths in the service of Hashem that make up our people. And that’s exactly why Hakodosh Boruch Hu insisted on the twelve springs inEilim. Because those separate springs signified Hashem’s plan to encourage each tribe to maintain its individuality. As they came to draw the much needed water, each tribe frequented its own well and was therefore able to avoid being swallowed up by the others. Each group retained their individual identity.Now you have to know that the differences among theshevatimwas a model for what would persist throughout the entire history of theAm Yisroel.Even when some theshevatimwent lost, or became diluted one among the other ingolus, we always remained a nation of different tribes; different ideals and attitudes, various preferences of paths in the service ofHashem.WHO NEEDS CHASSIDIM, MISNAGDIM AND SEFARDIM?I’m frequently asked: What’s the benefit of different types of servants of Hashem? Who needschassidimandmisnagdimandsefardim? Wouldn’t it have been better if we all walked together on one path towards Hakodosh Boruch Hu?So I always say: Why is it that you’ll find in the supermarket clover honey and orange blossom honey and buckwheat honey? There are at least ten varieties of honey! Who needs it?! And the answer is that it makes life more delectable! Variety is a pleasure! After all, Hakodosh Boruch Hu could have given us nothing but red delicious apples. Let’s say you’d pass a fruit stand and all you would see is bins and bins of red delicious apples. Now, red delicious apples are a treat; we can’t complain about them, but how much more fun it is when we have ten different kinds of apples! And even better, to have tens and tens of varieties of fruit. It’s much more fun when you can choose from a wide variety of good things.And therefore, there are all kinds of methods of serving Hashem, each one that has been cultivated by Hashem Himself, by the separation ofkehillos. Sometimes a person can choose one method and stick to it always. Or sometimes you can choose from the fruit store of the differentshevatim. Sometimes you’ll choose something from theGerrer, another thing you’ll take from Lakewood, something you’ll pick from Lubavitch, something you’ll take from Belz, and something else you’ll nosh from Satmer. And so on. Everyshevethad something to contribute. You can be sure that there are a lot of delightful fruit in all of these various places that help theAmYisroelin itsavodas Hashem.Everybody is helping out! Somekehillosbrought to theAm Yisroelthe great benefits ofmussarto theAm Yisroel, while otherkehillosbroughtchassidus. From some communities we learn to bekanaaimfor the truth and others impress us with theirhasmadahinlimudhatorahorgemillas chasodim.I myself have learned from one group of Jews in Flatbush what it means to bemichabeid talmidei chachomim.Because there’s no end to the variety of paths that theAm Yisroelwalk toward the One Hashem and there’s what to learn from everyone.MAKING ENEMIES FOR RAV MILLERNow I’m not going to tell you what’s best. Someone asked me, what does Hakodosh Boruch Hu want from me? Am I supposed to bechassidish, orlitvishor what? Now that’s some big order. He wants me to make enemies, the one who asked me that question.Hashem wants you to be the best that you can be. Some people can be their best if they’rechassidish. Some people can be their best if they’relitvish. Other people can be their best if they’resefardi. It’s like asking – “What is the best diet for all of mankind?” The best type of diet depends on each individual person. People are different. Some people are so different that their diets are radically different. So whatever it is that you choose, you should make it a principle in your life to always choose whatever it is that willgive you the most success in life– and success in this world means preparing for the Next World.EVERYONE IS WRONGEveryone is right. And everyone is wrong. Nobody is perfect in this world. And most important is to live with the principle of knowing that we ourselves are not altogether right.And we have to do our best to improve. Although we don’t have to adopt what everybody else does, and everyone should follow the customs and manners of hiskehillain the very best manner, nevertheless, he should know that there are things to be learned everywhere.Even though you’re achossid, when you walk into Telshe Yeshiva, you can learn good things there too. And if a Telshe bochur goes to Williamsburg, he can learn good things there, no question about it. Therefore, everyone should try to steal from others all the good things they can. Instead of going around and saying “Well, I saw in thisshteibelthat they talk during davening so it’s not so bad.” Or, “In the other place they daven fast, so I can also daven fast.” So this person goes around collecting all thewrongthingsfrom all the places. No! Go around collecting all the good things from everybody – that’s what they’re there for.BE JEALOUS AND STEALAnd that’s the person who will succeed. That’s what jealousy is for.Kinahmeans to bekoneh, to acquire, to be jealous of all the good things that you find. “Why is he saying a longshemonahesreiand not me?” “Why does he treat his wife so nicely and I’m so gruff?” “Why does he go out to learn at night and I’m still wasting away?” And everybody should try to steal from everyone else all the good things that they find.That’s our purpose – to acquire all the qualities that find favor in the eyes of Hashem. Because what Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants of us isshleimus– perfection.Shleimusin knowledge of the Torah, perfection in knowing His ways, perfection in recognizing Him in history and in nature. Perfection in character and self-control and perfection in kindliness to our fellow man. Every form of perfection that’s possible for a person to emulate, to imitate, to steal from all sides, he should do that. And the various groups that make up theAm Yisroelhave all of those things to offer.And so whenever a person comes comes into contact with people different than himself, othershevatim, otherkehillos, whenever he sees anything good in the world, he should recognize that these differences are exactly what Hashem was cultivating in theAm Yisroelwhen He separated theshevatim. And therefore he should emulate whatever good he sees and decide that he wants to take it for himself.MADISON SQUARE GARDEN IS TOO SMALLHowever there is another subject altogether – maybe even more important – that is vital for understanding why Hashem insisted on the separation of theshevatim. And we’ll begin this subject with the followinggemara. Thegemara(Brachos 58a) says thatהרואה אוכלוסי ישראל, if you see a big throng of Jews, you have to make a specialbrachah.What’s calleduchlusei yisroel?600,000 Jews.It’s azechiyah! We’re talking here about Jews who areshomrei Torah.600,000shomrei Torahs! Ahh!It’s an illumination of the mind,it’s such asimchathat you’re required to make abrachahon something like that.Now in thatbrachahyou mention a number of things.And among the things you say in thatbrachahis that אין דעתם דומה זה לזה ואין פרצופיהן דומים זה לזה – In this big throng, no two of them have the same faces. It’s a remarkable statement.The fact is that nobody has an exact replica of your face. Even twins are not exactly the same.And that’s only thechitzoniyus. Because even more than that, no two people have the samedeios, the same minds. People have various characters. Eventzadikim; no twotzadikimare the same. They think differently. When it comes to דעתם, their ideas, their attitudes, it’s a remarkable thing, that even twins who look so much alike, they’re actually very different from one another.THE MOTHER WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING ABOUT THE NOSEIt’s a remarkable fact if you look at a family – let’s say you visit your cousins or it could be your own family – it’s remarkable how different the children are from each other.It’s one of the surprisingnissim.From the same parents, and yet brothers are so different one from the other.Here you have one brother.He’s handsome.He’s graceful.He looks like a real Lord Fauntleroy.He’s a beautiful boy, but a little bit sleepy, a little bit lazy.Now next to him is his brother; not good looking but a very good boy,full of energy.They look like two families, two different brothers entirely.They don’t look alike at all! Maybe you’ll find some resemblance in their nose – their mother will always find some resemblance – but otherwise they are entirely different. It’s a remarkable fact.And sisters also, sisters are very different one from the other.Now, some people think maybe it’s only their own family where this is a problem. He thinks that one of his brothers is too smart. And his little brother is too dull. One is akanoi, and the other one doesn’t care about anything. Maybe in other families it’s better. But the truth is that it was this way in the best family as well. Thegemara(Pesachim 56a) tells us when Yaakov Avinu was on his deathbed and his holy sons were standing around his bed, so he looked up at them, and he was very much worried.They were all different, remarkably different, and that concerned him as he was about to leave this world. After he would pass away, what would hold his children together? They’re so different, and he wouldn’t be around to hold them in place.YOUR HUSBAND’S LONG NOSEAnd so we see that this peculiar fact, that אין דעותיהם שוות and אין פרצופיהן שוות is no accident. Hakadosh Baruch Hu intentionally made people different from each other. Nobody in the whole world has the same face.Their voices are not the same. Their thoughts are different, their ideas, their desires. It’s a remarkable thing.And so here you have a man married to a woman, a fine woman, but he has a nose a little bit longer than she would like.She doesn’t like such a long nose. And he doesn’t like this or that. It gnaws at him. They don’t like the same foods. And I’m only mentioning some superficial things. There’s much more than that, many more differences. I know all about it because my phone is constantly ringing.Don’t ever expect when you get married that your wife will be like you.You will always discover that after all she is a woman and you are a man.נשים עם בפני עצמם, women are a different nation, thegemarasays (Shabbos 62a). Of course we shouldn’t try to emphasize the diversity.Before you get married it’s best to look for somebody who eats the same kind of food that you eat, someone who comes from the same background, as much as possible.Of course you should do that; there’s no reason to make it more difficult.It’s difficult enough as it is.But we have to know beforehand that no matter what, no matter what theshadchantells you, you’re going to be surprised to find many more differences than you ever imagined.And so what we’re seeing now is thatnotwo people are the same! One brother is different than the next, sisters can’t agree on anything, husbands and wives are from different “nations,” every neighbor is different than the next – theAm Yisroelis a nation of variousshevatim.And so we have to wonder, why is that?Wouldn’t it be so wonderful, so beautiful, if we all had the same noses. You’d be in love with your husband’s nose. And if we all thought alike?! Ahh, it would be a pleasure!Shalom al Yisroel!But no such luck. Nobody is the same. And so we see that there was some reason why Hakadosh Baruch Hu made all of us so different one from another. And we’re going to learn now that the answer to this puzzle is actually one of the most vital opportunities for perfection in this world.IF YOU’RE HERE, THERE’S STILL HOPENow to try to answer this puzzle, we’ll first study apossukin Koheles (9:4).We read there:מי אשר יחבר אל כל החיים יש ביטחון – “If somebody is still connected to the living then there’s still hope.” Now that seems like such a simple and obvious statement that we’re surprised that it’s even made – that if you’re still breathing, if you’re still alive, then there’s still hope for you to achieve something in this world.However, we’ll note a superfluous word in thepossuk. It says, אל כל החיים – “He’s connected toallthe living.” It could have said you’re connected “to the living.” Why mentionallthe living?If you’re among the living there’s still some hope for you, that’s all. If the person is already in the cemetery, it’s too late.And if he’s still with the living, if he’s still breathing, he can still accomplish something with his life. Why mentionkolhachaim,allthe living?GET ALONG WITH HIS BLUE HATWhat we’re beginning to see now is that all of these differences among ourselves that have been nurtured by Hashem throughout our history – the twelve springs inEilimare only one small example – are there in order to test us. By means of the wide variety of our fellow Jews, we are provided with the great opportunity of getting along with people who are different than we are.And that’s whatKohelesis telling us – that the one who still wants to retain somebitachon, some hope of accomplishing perfection in this world, it’s only if he understands that he must beyechubar el kol hachaim– attached toallthe living. Learning how to get along withallthe different types – the black hats and the blue hats, the long coats and the short coats, the Polish Jews and the Hungarians, the Syrian Jews and the Persians.El kol hachaim!Now of course if he’s friendly to you, you’ll like him.Or if he wears hispeyoslike you do, or he shakes during davening like you, so you’ll like him. Why not? If he’s your “type,” if he’s yourshevet, it’s much easier.But what will you do with theAm Yisroelin its totality – with all of thefrumJews who are your brothers? Hakadosh Baruch Hu expects you to have a certain attitude of affection,of love, for theAm Yisroelon a whole. It’s amitzvahmin hatorah.Veahavta l’reiachahdoesn’t mean this man right here who is a good friend of yours, who thinks like you do.Veahavtameans all of them. And that’swhywe have people in the world.In order to test us whether we’ll choose to overcome our natural tendencies to shun those different than ourselves, and instead train our minds toyechubar el kol hachaim, to feel connected to everyone.A LOVE FOR THE SEAWe are always being tested by the differences among people.The fact that some Jews saybureechand some saybaruchorboruch,is a test. You know that, don’t you? Even theshevatimpronounced the words oflashon kodeshdifferently. We see that in theTanach(see Shoftim 12:6). And there’s no question that they used idioms peculiar to themselves, ate different foods, dressed differentlyand thought differently. And it was the will of Hashem that the differentiation should persist. And itdidpersist! The distinctive physical features and characteristics of eachshevetbecame emphasized by the inbreeding, and to the untrained eye they appeared as different nations.Like thegemarasays inPesachim(4a) : ההוא דהוה קא אזיל ואמר , a man used to go around and say אכיף ימא אסיסני ביראתא, he loved the seashore.He loved the seashore.בדקו, they began to investigate.Why are you talking so much about the seashore?And they found out he came fromZevulun.זבולון לחוף ימים ישכון,Zevulunlived near the seashore and they loved it.It’s a remarkable thing.Hakadosh Baruch Hu put intoZevuluna love for the sea, and therefore they were a seafaring nation.They were sailors with boats and they loved the sea.SOME KIDS OBEY RULESAnother man used to go around saying דונו דיני – “Judge my dispute.”That means whenever there was some case between him and a fellow man, he didn’t want to arbitrate.He didn’t want to make apesharah.“No, let’s go to the judge and let’s hear what the judge says.”Now he said it so many times דונו דיני, דונו דיני it was suspicious to people. So בדקו אחריו, they searched after his pedigree, and they found that he came fromDan. You remember what it says byDan, דן ידין עמו.Danwas a strict fellow.He followed only the strict line of the law.There are people like that who are very strict with laws.They keep rules.Even little children sometimes are born that way. Some children are like that. They keep rules; it’s their nature. Other children, not so much.Now, all of these character traits were planted in our nation by Hashem – after all,Dandidn’t follow the strict line of the law because he went to a university of law and read the law journals. It was a trait that Hashem gifted him with. AndZevulunwasn’t reading Boat Fishing Monthly or whatever magazine it is, and teaching himself to like the sea; no, it was a characteristic that Hashem placed in his heart. And by maintaining its own territory and its own identity, each tribe tended to marry among themselves, and thereby maintain the characteristics that Hashem gifted them with. The character traits were planted by Hashem, and they therefore deserved to be cultivated.And therefore they remained different. Reuven was very different than Dan and Zevulun. Naftali, Levi, Shimon; they all looked different.They even made sure theirbegadimwere different, and they spoke a different language oflashon hakodesh.Their dialect was different.They lived separately, and they had different expressions. Eachshevetdeveloped different kinds ofmelitzosand language, differentmalbushimandminhagim.DON’T GET BOGGED DOWN BY THE DIFFERENCESSo we see that Hakadosh Baruch Hu put in theshevatimdifferent qualities andthe purpose was in order that they should all get together despite their differences. And when they would come up three times a year to Yerushalayim, it was supposed to beחברים כל ישראל, they’re all together as one family, despite everything that made them different. They were expected to achieve the perfection ofyechubar el kol hachaim, despite the difficulties involved.But it wasn’t an easy task. So when a person fromDanwas passing by and a boy fromYehudahsaw him, he might have ayetzer harato ridicule and say “Tatty, look at that man. Look at his funny clothing.” So the father scolded his son, ‘Oh no, don’t laugh at him.He’s our brother from the holyshevetof Dan.Have respect.Everyshevetiskadosh.” And when a boy ofshevet Reuvensaid, “Look Abba! Isn’t that strange how this person fromEfraimis speaking a queer language – he can’t pronounce the words,” so the father said, “Shh, we don’t talk that way.Shevet Efraimis holy.It’s a very holy tribe,” he said.“They’re our people, our brothers.” And theAm Yisroellearned to overcome theyetzer haraof factionism, ofmachlokes, of partisanship. They learned to respect each other’s customs and idiosyncrasies and trained themselves to refrain from mocking or ridiculing the language, the clothing and the manners of their brother tribes. They knew that Hashem favored these differences and that they were all “tribes of Hashem” (Tehillim 122:4).OPPOSITES: ATTRACT!And so we’re expected to learn from that, the lesson of how important it is to be connected to all of theKlal Yisrael.Because the many differences are there just for that – to give us the opportunity to train ourselves to respect each other’s idiosyncrasies.These have this way of talking and that way of dressing. And evenminhagim, as mentioned, inGallilthey had certainminhagim, while inYehudahthey did the opposite – otherminhagim.And theAm Yisroelhad to get used to respecting the differentminhagimof their fellow Jews.Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to give us the great opportunity of perfection – the perfection ofyechubar el kol hachaim. Hashem wants us to struggle to beyechubarto all those who are living,el kol hachaim, to feel an affection for all the different types. We are expected to overcome the tendency to break up into factionsin our minds– that’s ayetzer hara, to actually feel that we are different factions. Now that’sa very bignisayonby the way, to retain the individuality that Hashem wants, and yet to feel attached with an actual affection to every frum Jew – it’s a very big test.BUMS IN THE BAR MAKE PEACENow, of course there will always be dissension because each one has his own mind. Each one is working toward a principle – when a principle is involved you can’t just yield. You know when bums get together in a bar and they have a dissension, so they could make peace more readily. They could unite with ease because what are they fighting about already? It’s nothing after all.Whereas people who have principles can’t unite. That’s why you findLubavitchergo their way and theSatmerertheir way. And theLakewooderand the otherlitvishehyeshivosdon’t go on either of those ways. Thelitvishehgo their own way and thesefardimwalk a different path. Andchasv’shalomthat they should become united in their principles!Chasv’shalom! Because if so, all principles would die out. Each one tries to serve Hashem according to the way he understands best – and each one respects and loves the other onejust because of that.YOU BETTER ARGUE!You know when Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai argued, nobody ever said, “Come on boys, let’s just settle down and come to an agreement. What’s the use of arguing over nothing?” No, it’snotnothing. It’s everything! It’s the most important thing to argue about – there is nothing else worth arguing about except how to serve Hashem. And each one sought to serve Hashem in the best way. And Hakodosh Boruch Hu intended that – it was no accident. From the beginning it was all planned – eachshevet, eachkehillahwith its own ways, because of the great opportunities for perfection it affords us. Because that’s what Hakodosh Boruch Hu wantsfrom us, theshleimusof learning to get along with those who are different from you.A grandson once showed him a picture in the newspaper depicting an apparent conflict between Jewish groups. “It’s trick photography,” said Rav Miller. “The media loves to drum up conflicts even where none exist. These Jews really love each other and so we love both groups.” “But they seem to be really fighting,” his grandson persisted. “I’ll explain,” Rav Miller replied. “The army has many divisions: the marines, the navy, the air force, etc. Each one is convinced that they are the best, and naturally they feel animosity toward the other branches. Yet, as far as the rest of the nation is concerned, they are one unified army supporting its country. And that is how everyone must look at them, for that is all that concerns them. Every soldier must know where he belongs and stay there – and so should you.” The grandson asked, “Who should I side with?” “You just have to know that you are in the army of Hashem,” Rav Miller answered. “and continue doing whatever service you are performing, keeping your own position. You don’t have to be concerned with the issues of others.” (Rav Avigdor Miller – His Life and His Revolution p. 292)You know, when Hakodosh Boruch Hu brought theLubavitcher Rebbe, the previous one,zichrono l’vracha, to America, it wasn’t an accident. Now, we think that he came here in order to bring back people toyiddishkeit. And it’s true – he wasmachzirb’teshuvaa lot of people. But that’s not the whole truth.And when Hakodosh Boruch Hu brought theSatmerer Rav,zichrono l’vracha,to America, people think it was for the purpose of helping rebuildchassidusin Williamsburg. They were theud mutzal m’eish; people who went through concentration camps, dejected people, broken families, ruined men and women. And he encouraged them to marry again and have children, and he almost single-handedly built up a bigkehillah. So people saw that he was sent by Hakodosh Boruch Hu to bematzila very greatkehillah. And he did! We can’t thank theSatmerer Ravenough for what he did for America. But that’s not the whole truth.THE LUBAVITCHERS ARE LITVAKSWe have to realize something that we don’t like to realize. There was another great benefit that Hashem wanted by bringing variouskehillostogether. And that’s the fact that theLubavitcherRebbecame to America to help theSatmererkehillah! And theSatmererRavcame to America to help theLubavitcherkehillah! You understand that it’s two separatekehillos. They can’t even talk together – their language is different. It’s hard to understand what theSatmererare saying if you’re not accustomed to their language. And they have differentminhagim. I’m not talking only about Torahminhagim– they have differentminhagimeven in eating – how they eat, what they eat. Many things are different about them. These arelitvakers– theLubavitcher chassidimare mostlylitvakers. They speak alitvisheh Yiddish, and theSatmerercome from Hungary and places like that – it’s a different language.So what did Hakodosh Boruch Hu do? He said, “I can’t let them remain that way. To be so separate that they never see each other, and never learn to get along despite their differences, that’s a failure. I want them to get ashleimus. So I’ll bring them to America. I’ll bring the Bobover and the Litvakers together, and the Syrians and the Persians too. I’ll bring them to one place so that they should continue to stand strong in their principlesSo that they should see the differences between them, and retain those differences,and yet at the same time they should get along with each other and love one another. Themachlokesis a great benefit for them, a great opportunity for perfection.RAV MILLER PREDICTS THE FUTUREBecause no matter how important are the principles that they stand for – and theymuststand their ground – but all of them have the same Hakodosh Boruch Hu and the same Torah. And the end will be that maybe they’ll intermarry too. They’ll dance together at weddings! It might take some time, a generation or two generations, but the perfection of being loyal to their principles at the same time as feeling a deep affection for one another, will come. At the end you’ll see that they’ll live together. And each one will gain a perfection that he could never have gotten otherwise.If you would sit inSatmarin Europe all your life and you would stew in your own juice – you’d never have any opposition, you’d never see people with differentminhagim– so you’re not being testedand you’re not being perfected. It’s the opposition that makes you great. When you’re sitting in your ownbeismedrashbut you come into contact with someone who has a differentRebbe, and different ways, that’s your opportunity for greatness.A BENT-DOWN HAT MAKES ME ANGRY!And sometimes it’s not even important things – it’s little things that bother you. Hisyarmulkehis this way and youryarmulkehis a different way. Maybe your hat is round and his hat is bent over. You don’t like that! A bent down hat you can’t stand; you’re angry at it! And when he sees your round hat, he thinks you look like aba’al ga’avah.“What does he think he is? Arebbeh?!” And so there’s friction. It’s אין “כובעיהם” ואין דעותיהם שוות – their hats are different, their faces are different and their ideals are also different.And with all that, they overcome those petty things like hats andyarmulkehsand coats, and they say “I choose to beyechubar el kolhachaim, to all of the various frum Jews, becauseit’s all just a test. And I’m going to pass that test and make myself more and more perfect every day.”EASIER SAID THAN DONENow all this is easier said than done. But once we begin to understand how important thisavodahis, so we begin to realize that this is one subject on which it pays to concentrate. Because it’s easyto say, “Get along with people,” but it’s not always easyto do. You have to have some motivation and that’s an important subject on which we should concentrate for a few minutes.So the question is how do you start working on that in order to fulfill thismitzvahfrom theTorah?Veahavtais aklal gadol betorah, it’s a very great rule of the Torah that you should have a feeling of love, of actual affection, for your fellow Jews. But how do we do it? How can we learn to love our fellow Jews?FELLOW JEW MEANSOBSERVANTJEWNotice that I’m not saying your fellowman.Forget about fellowman.Your fellowJew! Fellow Jew means only your fellowobservantJew.Thereshaimwe leave out.Achicha, reiacha, means people who areshomer mitzvoslike you are; theעבדי אלקי אביך – all the servants of Hashem, that’s theAm Yisroel.And I’m stressing that point because that is the answer to our question! I’ll explain that.I mentioned to you before about Yaakov Avinu’s worries as he lay on his deathbed. He saw children who were so different from one another, and he was concerned, “How could these children become one big unified nation?” So the sons understood their father’s worry and they consoled their father. Now listen to what they said because it’s what we have to always be saying if we want to overcome this problem and succeed atyechubar el kol hachaim, to be connected with all the living. They told Yaakov Avinu, “There’s nothing to worry about: שמע ישראל, “Listen our father, Yisroel, השם אלקינו, Hashem is our G-d, השם אחד, all of us have one G-d.” We might wear different hats and pronounce words differently. And we’ll even argue sometimes. But we’re all together “one nation under one G-d.” He’ll keep us together; He’s the “glue’’ that keeps us together. We’re all עבדי אלקי אביך – despite our differences, we’re all the servants of Hashem together.”And when Yaakov heard that, he said: ברוך שם כבוד מלכותו לעולם ועד.“If, notwithstanding all your differences you’ll be together forever, theAm Echaddedicated toHashem Echad, that will be a glory for Hashem, and I can go to the Next World in peace.”HASHEM ECHADIS THE ANSWERAnd so we’re learning now that the solution to our differences is the overriding knowledge that we’re theAm Echadserving theHashem Echad. We’re all one people and that’s something we have to not just say, but to feel.It’s very important for us to learn that, to love every part of theolam shomrei Torah, theAm Hashem,with all of our hearts.Now don’t just say, “I know that; I do that,” because youdon’tdo it. It takes work; it takes thinking and talking. You have to think about this whenever you see a fellow Jew who is different than you. He dresses different. He talks different. He davens different. You’re almost sure he’s from a differentshevet. So you have to begin planting thoughts in your head. Think about the fact that he’s ashomer mitzvoslike you are.He’s a brother in arms.We’re all fighting together to maintain theAmYisroel.We have a big army against us, enemies all around us.Thefrei yiddenare all enemies with us.The irreligious Jews hate us very much.You should know that.גדולה שנאה ששונאים עמי הארץ את התלמידי חכמים יותר ממה ששונאים אומות העולם את ישראל, “The irreligious people hate the frum Jews more than the gentiles hate the Jews” (Pesachim 49b).It’s a fact.We have to fight for our people and be the best of friends among ourselves because we’re surrounded by enemies on all sides.בכל דור ודור עומדים עלינו לכלותנו, everybody wants to overcome us.And therefore when we feel that we’re all fighting together for one cause, forHashem Echad, we’re all marching together in the same regiment against the same enemies, so it’s easier to have a love for your fellow Jew.BE PROUD OF EACH OTHER!And so now we have learned the necessity of identifying with theAm Yisraelof today. But you have to identify.If you’re ashamed of your people – of any of thefrummeh– then you’re not identifying.You have to be proud of all of your people.That’s important.And who are your people?All of us, all the good Jews.Not the liberals.They don’t belong to us.Not the reformers, no.They’re not proud of us, and we’re not proud of them. They want to be like gentiles and they’renichras mei’amav.They’re all cut offnebach.Pity on them.It’s a tragedy.What can we do?But we don’t want to identify with them.We don’t identify with Ben Gurion, and not with Herzl. And not with anybody like them. עמך means עושי מעשה עמך, those who do the deeds of your people.That’s what theAm Yisroelmeans.All the “heroes” that were not loyal to the Torah don’t exist for us. We limit our love to thosewho serve Hashem, those who love Hashem, because that is the only glue that binds theAmYisroeltogether despite our differences.We identify with all observant Jews, whether they’re Jews inTeimanor in Lakewood or inLubavitchor Bnei Brak or in Boro Park or Baltimore.Wherever they are, we identify with them.Whether they’re Sephardi Jews, whether they’re Syrian Jews, whether they’re Egyptian Jews.All Jews that are loyal to the Torah, that’s our people.That’s theAm Echad, and we have to identify with them.It’s important.You can’t feel like he’s a stranger.A Galicianer can’t think, “I’m a stranger to a Hungarian Jew.” No, we’re not strangers to anybody if they’re loyal Jews.It’s very important for us to learn that.DO YOU WEAR A TOP HAT FOR YONTIF?So now theTeimanimcome with their robes and their turbans and the Jews come let’s say from Canada with black hats.Some would come in with top hats yet.Some still wear top hats onyontif,silk hats.A man wearing a top silk hat and another man wearing a turban look at each other with the greatest respect.That’s my brother.Anothershevet,allshivtei Kah,holy people.Ohhh, now we’re talking! Because even though we all have our differences and our own lives, there always remains this glue of service of Hashem that binds us together in this kinship of brotherhood. It’s much more than a blood line; it’s a real bond, a bond of the mind, something that actually ties us together.We’re not merely connected to each other by blood, by DNA.A fellow Jew is a brother who is עמיתך, he’s עמך בתורה ובמצוות. Chazal tell us that אחיך means אחיך במצוות, “your brother in mitzvos.” It’s not merely a brother of the same ancestor; it’s a brother of the same mind! With the same ideals and attitudes; he’s your “brother in arms.” Among ourselves, we have to be the best of friends. Because no matter where you are; you could be Jew in Australia, aSatmererin Williamsburg, or a Jew in Tel-Aviv, we’re all in this world for one purpose, to serve Hakodosh Boruch Hu. When we feel that we’re all fighting together for one cause, to serve Hashem, we’re all marching together in the same regiment, so it’s much easier to have a love for your fellow men. How much of an affection are you supposed to feel for brothers who are of one mind with you!MODEH B’MIKTZASIS STILL SOMETHINGAll thekehillos, even the Modern Orthodox who are far away from what we consider the great ideals ofavodas Hashem, are our brothers. Absolutely! If a Jew is ashomermitzvos, he tries to keep themitzvos, then even though he doesn’t exactly do everything the way we do it, he’s still a brother. If he doesn’t doaveiros, I don’t care what kind ofyarmulkehhe wears. If he wears a knittedyarmulkehor if he wears something else, he’s still my brother. Even a small littleyarmulkeh,so he’s “amodeh b’miktzas,”but he’s still one of ours. A person who keepstaharashamishpacha, he eats kosher, he sends his children toyeshivaand not public school, he’s ashomer Shabbos, he hasmezuzoson his doors – so a person like that is our brother, and don’t make any mistake about it. And you love him like any other Jew.Now, don’t misquote me; I’m not saying that the modern orthodox man has to be your brother in the sense that you’ll move into the same house as him. It doesn’t mean that you should associate with him if you don’t have to.That’s something else altogether. If your brother has the flu, you don’t want to be too close to him because it’s contagious. But you still love him, no less. Over here, in this place, we say that we want to associate only with the best onesbecause we want to be the best.But when you see another frum Jew on the street, any frum Jew, he’syour brotherin the most literal sense of the word. And you have amitzvahof ואהבת לרעך כמוך – you have amitzvahto love him. That’s how to think about your fellow Jew. And even though he follows a different rebbe, or a different set of political objectives, nevertheless, don’t lose sight of the fact that fundamentally he belongs to your people and that therefore you’re obligated, to think well of him, to recognize him as your brother, and to love him.TRY TO SEE FROM HIS VIEWPOINTThat’s what it means לעולם תהא דעתו של אדם מעורבת עם הבריות – A person’s mind always should be united –mi’urevesmeans joined – with the minds of other people (Kesubos 17a). Now this I mentioned here more than once that it doesn’t mean you have to yield when somebody is doing something wrong; it doesn’t mean you should stand down when someone is doing sins. But when you happen to like one thing and somebody else is enthusiastic about something else, and you have no interest in that thing, don’t belittle it. Try to agree with people. Always try to see things from the other man’s side.Your mind is different – and Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants you to keep your mind. And his mind is different – and Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants him to keep his mind. But Hashem brought you together now just for the purpose of benefiting the both of you. That’s theshleimusof both of you.So if you walk in the streets and you see Jewish boys with yarmulkes and black hats coming out of theyeshivasor buses carrying children toyeshivos,so your heart should overflow with happiness.You’re looking at your people! Or you see a group offrumgirls dressedb’tzniuscoming out of the Bais Yaakov schools, walking with decency, and wearing long skirts. It’s a pleasure to see!Your heart is full of happiness to see theAm Hashem.You walk through blocks and blocks and see fathers with children going to thebeis hakenesesand you love to see it.Your heart swells with pride and happiness.You love your people.Hashem wants that.Some people are so happy when they see Jews.They just weep with joy when they see the Jewish people.My people,ami.THAT BOY WAS RUNNING TOWARDS HASHEMI’ll tell you a little story.There was a boy in Chicago.A true story – I won’t say his name but today he’s an important personality. He lived in a gentile neighborhood. He was a young boy and his heart yearned for his people so one day he got up, took a long walk to the east side of Chicago, to the Jewish neighborhood. And as he saw a Jewish child walking in the street, he burst into tears. This boy burst into tears.He was so emotionally happy.‘Ahh!My people.” He felt connected to his people.A boy like that is headed towards not just people.He’s headed towards Hakadosh Baruch Hu.That’s why it does you very good to walk through Boro Park.Bigmezuzosone after the other.Blocks and blocks of Jewish houses. And you’re thinking as you walk, “I’m walking among my people. בתוך עמי אנכי יושבת. It’s my people and I love them. I don’t care what hat he wears or what group he belongs to, it’s all my people!”You can’t even imagine what an opportunity you’re missing by not making use of this feeling ofachvah,of brotherly camaraderie, that is available to you all the time. The next time you walk intoshuland you see theAm Yisroelgathering todavento Hashem, you should put your mind to work: “This is my nation! My brothers! And we all share the common purpose of serving Hashem.”And when you’re shopping in the kosher supermarket and it’s crowded, and the lines are long – those are precious moments! You’re looking down the aisles and all you can see are your “brothers and sisters”.Women, men, children, all buying kosher food. That’s a nation dedicated with a singular heart to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. ישראל אין להם אלא לב אחד לאביהם שבשמים – “The wholeAm Yisroelhas but one heart devoted to their Father in Heaven” (Sukkah 45b). It’s not just poetry; that’s actually the greatness of theAm Yisroelthat binds us as brothers.THIS IS A CAREERNow this is not a small thing that you heard tonight.It’s a career.You have to be serious of course.You have to not only hear it, hearing is very important, you have to try to practice it.Now even though you do it a little bit, it’s a tremendous achievement.If you’ll think once a week about it, once a week, for two minutes on the subject of achieving a certain respect and love for kol hachaim, for all of your fellow Jews, then you know that you came to this world for a purpose!Now, all this might seem little queer for those who don’t know their purpose in the world. So when you go outside later and they’ll ask you, “What did Rabbi Miller speak about tonight?” So you’ll say, “He told us to love our fellow Jew.” They’ll laugh at you: “What’s thechiddush? Who doesn’t know that?!” But the truth iswho does it?! Who thinks about it? If he loves, he loves; if not, what could he do already? He’spatur,he thinks. But no, we’re learning tonight that you have to work on loving theAm Yisroel,with an intense love. And you’ll do it by first of all recognizing that we’re anAm Echad.You have a big career ahead of you because when it says ואהבת לרעך כמוך, it doesn’t mean that you should tolerate him, or even that you should get along with him. It means that you should generate aahavah,a love, a real love, for your fellow Jew. You have to understand how far away we really are from even beginning such anavodah.Of course, we’re willing to say that we agree with the idea. Maybe someday we’ll even come around to it. But we won’t. You won’t come around to it unless you start doing something about it. And when a person begins to understand that, and feel a little bit of love for all of his fellowovdei Hashem, then he has achieved the perfection that Hashem expected from him since that day many years ago when He prepared twelve separate springs inEilimfor theAm Yisroel.It’s the perfection of choosing for yourself the good from all theshevatim, as well as the perfection of feeling a love, a real affection, for all those different than you. And those two methods ofshleimus, are the main purpose of why Hakodosh Boruch Hu brought you into this world of the twelve differentshevatim.HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOSGo Back See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. There is much overhead to maintain this service so please help us continue our goal of helping Jewish lecturers become podcasters and support us with a donation: https://thechesedfund.com/jewishpodcasts/donate

The Guide to True HappinessMOSHE RABEINU REPORTING THE WEATHER?!When we read thepesukimthat describe the departure of theAm YisroelfromMitzrayimwe note the interesting fact that the time of the year, the spring-like weather, plays a quite significant role in the story. As they gathered to leaveMitzrayim, Moshe Rabeinu spoke to the people זכור את היום הזה אשר יצאתם ממצרים… היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – “Remember always this day that you came out of Egypt…Today you are leavingin the month of spring” (Bo 13:4). Now, you know that in the Torah weather is a subject that is not discussed. This subject that becomes so important when you’re standing on the street talking to someone – when you meet the elevator man or the grocery man, that’s the first subject in America – but in the Torah it’s not discussed. And yet, all of a sudden, Moshe Rabeinu comes along and points out to us that it was a spring day.Now it’s quite strange that Moshe Rabeinu should make a big deal about it. There were many things he could have told theAm Yisroelas they gathered together to begin their journey towards freedom. I myself could think of some very importantyesodosthat Moshe Rabeinu could have given over at this most opportune time. But to point out the weather conditions?! He wasn’t a meteorologist. And if it was cold and rainy, would it have made a difference?! They were going out to freedom! Ask the man who is released from prison after fifty years if he cares about the temperature on the day he left; he doesn’t remember and he doesn’t even care to remember! He’s free at last!PERFECT WEATHER FOR FREEDOMAnd yet Moshe Rabeinudidsay היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – You’re leaving today, and look outside; it’s a beautiful spring day. And Rashi asks: “Didn’t they know it was spring? אלא כך אמר להם, ראו חסד שגמלכם – So what was Moshe Rabeinu telling them? “Pay attention to the kindness that Hashem is bestowing upon you, שהוציא אתכם בחודש שהוא כשר לצאת – That He took you out in a month that is fitting for departure, לא חמה ולא צנה ולא גשמים – It’s not too hot, not too cold, and not raining” (Rashi 13:4). וכןהוא אומר מוציא אסירים בכושרות – Hashem took out His prisoners when it was fitting, חודש שהוא כשר לצאת – during the month in which it is most fitting to depart” (Mechilta).Now we should also take a peek intoShir Hashirim, at Shlomo Hamelech’s description of Hashem speaking to His people on that great day ofYetzias Mitzrayim. קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – “Arise, My love, My beautiful one, and go forth from Mitzrayim, כי הנה הסתיו עבר הגשם חלף הלך לו – Because now the winter has passed, and the rains are gone, and the traveling through the wilderness will be much more pleasant, הנצנים נראו בארץ – The days of spring are here when the trees begin to produce their flowers and those who travel, delight in their colors and fragrances, עת הזמיר הגיע וקול התור נשמע בארצנו – The time of birds singing and chirping has arrived, which adds the additional joy of sweet sounds for those who travel in the spring, קומי לך רעיתי יפתי ולכי לך – And so My beautiful beloved,” says Hashem to the Am Yisroel, “now is the timeto arise and leave Mitzrayim” (Shir Hashirim 2:11-13al pi Rashi).SCHEDULING FOR THE CHIRPING BIRDSSo we see that Hashem made a point of bringing out theAm YisroelfromMitzrayimdavkathen, during the days of spring. And even more so, the Torah tells us that the entire scheduling of the year is dependent on the Yom Tov of Pesach falling out during the spring to commemorate this event: שמור את חודש האביב…כי בחודש האביב הוציאך השם אלוקיך ממצרים – “You must guard the month of spring…for it was in the month of springtime that Hashem your G-d took you out of Egypt” (Devarim 16:1). And what does “Guard the month of spring” mean? Chazal tell us (Rosh Hashanah 21a) that the month ofNissanmust always fall out in the spring, and that sometimes theSanhedrinmust even add a month to the calendar just to ensure thatNissanshould not fall out when it’s still winter. And all this, so that theYom TovofPesachshould fall out in the beautiful days of spring, because היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב, and we want to remember and to commemorate that we leftMitzrayimin the spring.And that’s a very big question. Because what difference does the spring make for a nation that is escaping two hundred and ten years of bondage? The month ofchodeshha’aviv, the ripening of the grain would certainly be a joyous time once they would enter Eretz Yisroel, but here, as they were departing fromRameses, they were far from the promised land and had no benefit at all from the ripening of the grain.What difference is it to such a people, escaping slavery, loaded down with riches, that birds are chirping in the branches? So what that the flowers are blooming on a beautiful spring day? We’re talking here about real happiness – the excitement of escaping to freedom and great wealth, and you’re talking about chirping birds?!This isn’tmyquestion by the way. I heard this said over in the name of theAlter of Skabodkawhen I was in Europe. And because theAlter’sanswer is a foundation for how we are supposed to live successfully in this world, so we’ll spend some time understanding his words.THE ALTER’S CHIDDUSHTheAltersaid that the spring weather, with all of its varied pleasures was chosen purposefully by Hashem to enhance the occasion ofYetzias Mitzrayim. Even in the mountain-heap joy of liberation, and even though they were loaded down with the wealth of Mitzrayim, they were expected tonot overlookthe weather, and not to overlook the budding trees and the chirping birds.And why not? Because it was so important for theAm Yisroelto learn – right now, when they were leaving the bondage ofMitzrayimto becomeavdei Hashem– that the happiness of a true servant of Hashem won’t come from the great events of life. The great jolts of good fortune, the ecstatic moments of great happiness – a new car, a new baby, even if it’sYetzias Mitzrayim– that won’t make a person truly happy. It’s only the small gifts of life like a balmy spring day and a bird chirping in the trees that are the true happiness of life.What we’re learning from the words, “Today you are going out, in the month ofspring,” is that the joy of life isnotthe big things in life. Of course there is time for that too. It’s a bigsimchawhen you have a child. And it’s even a biggersimchawhen you marry that child off. You won the lottery? It’s asimcha! You got the job you wanted? You finished amesichta? These are all bigsimchosthat are a good reason to rejoice.But those aren’t the things that will make you a happy person!The happiness of transient events – evenYetzias Mitzrayimonly happened once – always slip out of your hands sooner or later, and you’re left with the day to day simple pleasures of life, like a spring day, that Hashem isalwaysbestowing on you. And it’s all of those small things that are supposed to make you a happy person.ROSY GLASSES ARE NOTHINGNow you can’t just tell a man, “Be happy; Learn to see the the good things in life.” It’s like saying nothing at all to him. This subject of happiness is a science, and like any important subject, its study takes effort on your part. If you’ll say to someone, “Just put on optimistic spectacles, and look at the world through rosy eyeglasses,” you’re not helping him a bit.There’s work to be done besides for putting on the rosy colored spectacles. What work is that? Every form of happiness is an obligation upon you to appreciate and become even more of a happy person. A person becomes a happy person because of the small things in life. Now don’t say that your experience contradicts this – because it’s not true, youdon’thave the experience. You never tried it! It’s necessary to dedicate your lives to the study of all the details of happinesses that you have in your life, in order to become the happy servant of Hashem that He expects.HOW TO GET RICHAnd so we’ll begin our career of happiness by reading together the words of amishnah; it’s amishnahthat most of us say, but none of us fulfill.איזהו עשיר- Who is a wealthy man? השמח בחלקו – Someone who is happy with what he has. Now, everybodyknowsthat, everybody says it; but nobodypracticesit.Themishnahis telling us here what Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects from us; that weshouldpractice it and that we should fulfill it. Hashem wants thatwe should become wealthy. Otherwise why did He tell us that. Why did He say איזהו עשיר? If it’s not important, why tell us? Just as a fact, some more information to know? No; it’s because that’s what you’re expected to become. Hashem wants thatyoushould become thatashirwho issameach b’chelko!BEING SATISFIED IS NOT ENOUGHNow, it’s important to point out thatsamei’achdoesn’t mean that you’resatisfiedwith what you have; it means thatyou’re happy, that you’refull of joy.Hashem wants you toenjoyOlam Hazeh, to be a person overflowing with happiness, and it’s an art that you have to get busy learning. Before we begin, the first thing is that you must get out of your head any thoughts thatprishusmeans to be unhappy. No;prishusmeans to be happywithout luxuries, to behappywith all the multitude of pleasures of living life itself. And that’s who Hashem says is the wealthy man.So איזהו עשיר – Who is the rich man? השמח בחלקו – the one who trains himself little by little to behappywith all of the things that he already has, the things that are available to him all the time. And who is the poor person, the perpetually sad man? The man who is empty; he never learned anything about the happiness of life. All he learned was to want more and more; “gimmee” and “gimmee” and “gimmee” – he wants more and more. And therefore his whole life is nothing but a pursuit after what he doesn’t have. And because of that, he fails to enjoychelko, what his portion is right now.All through life you’re missing the fun of life. Because wherever you turn in life, wherever you look, you’re going to encounter with your eyes on all sides, reasons to sing and dance with joy – if you know how to usethe details of lifeto become happy. We just have to open our eyes and apply our minds, and be willing to put effort into finding the real happiness of life. If we do that, the happiness within us would well forth and life would become full of fun. It would be endless fun and happiness without the new car, and without the trip to the zoo or the amusement park. It would be all the details of life itself that make you a happy person.STUDY A VARIETY OF SUBJECTSBecause the joy of life is not the big things; and it’s not one small thing either. Because what doeschelkomean?Chelkomeans your portion in life. And life is not one thing – life is a combination, a sum total of tens of thousands of phenomena – and it’s necessary to makeeachphenomenon a separate study so that whenever you encounter that phenomenon it will cause you happiness. If you study how two things make you happy, so now you’ll have two things that cause you happiness. If you’ve studied fifty things, so fifty things will cause you happiness. The more subjects you study, the more phenomena you appreciate, the more happiness you will get out of life. Like Dovid Hamelech said: כי שמחתני השם בפעליך במעשה ידיך ארנן – “I sing at the deeds of Your hand” (Tehillim 92:5) And the only way to do that is to put your mind to what you have, and all these things add up to being a wealthy man. Hashem wants you to be wealthy; if you don’t learn this, Hashem is disappointed in you.I’ll give you an example. If you study, let’s say, the wind. Let’s say a man would learn to enjoy the wind. Now, it may seem silly to you, but that’s because you’ve never studied the subject of happiness correctly. Because really, wind is a subject that can make you endlessly grateful and happy. There’s a lot of fun in a wind. But you have to study it.LET’S STUDY WINDStudy the winds?! Now, go tell that to people outside, they’ll laugh at you. But it’s agemara. Thegemaratells inMesichtaGittin(31b) that achochomwas once walking and he saw two sages who were sitting engaged in study. So he said to them, במאי עסקיתו – “What sugya are you learning now?” So they said, ברוחות – “We’re talking about winds.” Two sages of theTalmudare sitting talking about winds! That’s whatweshould do too. Maybe we should sit down sometime and talk about winds.Now, some people, eventalmideichachomim, didn’t learn the correctpshatin thisgemara. “Why would they talk about winds,” somemefarshimthought. So they developed other interpretations of this gemara, whatruchosmeans. But that’s not thepshat. Thegemarais telling us that they sat down to discuss wind! Because the study of the wind is a study of איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו.If the wind didn’t blow we couldn’t live. אי אפשר לעולם בלא רוחות – “The world could not exist without winds” (Taanis 3b). Nothing would grow without the wind; you wouldn’t have a piece of bread if not for wind. You didn’t know that? Well, you should start knowing it right now.If not for the wind there would be no food, because the winds keep the air moving so that the minute proportion of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, three parts in ten thousand, is made available to plants. Otherwise the plant would use up all the surrounding carbon dioxide and would die. So when it’s windy, and you have to hold on to your hat, that should be a cause for happiness. That’s your “watermelon” blowing by; your “bread” and your “meat”. It’s refreshing, invigorating and it’s also the key to life itself.A CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR CAREERIf the winds would be discussed and studied properly, so the next time there would be a zephyr, or a blow, or a hurricane, a breeze – whatever form it would come in – it’s going to cause us happiness. Now I’m not saying that we’ll go wild with happiness – it’s only one phenomenon, one detail; but it will make you happy, no question about it. And winds are blowing all the time, and they don’t cost much money either. So learn to enjoy it! It might take some time; it takes work. But after a while, after you begin studying the phenomena of wind, and appreciating it, so wind becomes a stimulus for happiness. So a person is walking in the street, and a slight breeze is tickling him – it’s refreshing and it also arouses in his mind all those pleasurable thoughts; so that’s one contribution to a career of happiness.Now, a breeze is only one thing. But this world is a gift of many happinesses for us. The trees and the flowers, the clouds and the rain. The blue sky, the sun and the moon, the soil and the leaves. Our hands and our eyes, our feet and our shoes. And you have thousands and thousands of other things. Hashem is giving you plenty of air and plenty of water. You have clothing and food. You have garments. You have a roof over your head, a place to sleep. You have a home. A home?! You can lock the door and sleep at night. Not like the homeless people who have to sleep near the railroad tracks and other dangerous places.Life is a veritable wellspring of happiness.But all this is justdevarim b’almah, it’s just words. You can’t just be a happy person because of “everything.” Everything is nothing. The path to true happiness is in the details. People have to teach themselves one thing at a time. Now wind is only one example of the happiness of this world. To learn the happiness of life you have to study all the details, moving from one subject to the other. One after the other, after another. And when you add together the sum total of many small phenomena, then they add up to a true happiness in life.BECOMING WEALTHIER AND WEALTHIERIf we would do this, we would actually learn together how to enjoy the phenomena of the world and become happy people all the time. And as life progresses we’d be adding new ideas into the treasure chest of our minds that cause us happiness. We’re adding riches into our mind and at the same time we’d review the old ones more deeply. Every day you can become happier and happier with the simple details of life, and slowly, little by little, you add one more thing and one more thing, and you become anashir, you become wealthy. And we’d find that from all sides we’re bursting out with song. You’d walk down the Brooklyn streetmeshugahwith happiness.And once you achieve this wealth, so you’ll never be unhappy again. You can’t be unhappy if your life is filled with thousands of small happinesses all day long. Because no matter what happens you feel you still have air to breathe. Air all you want. And water to drink, all you want. You still have a roof over your head. You still have shoes to wear. You have sunshine and teeth. And that’s only the beginning of the list.And once you become a happy person you’ll be able to withstand all thenisyonos, the trials of life. Life is not easy; there are always ups and downs. And if you don’t achieve this wealth ofsamei’ach b’chelko,so no matter what you can purchase and no matter how many cars you have, you will be a fundamentally unhappy person, because you never learned what real happiness is. But once you achieve the wealth ofsamei’achb’chelko, then no matter what, you’re a happy person for the rest of your life.THE MAIN PORTION IS … LIFE!And therefore, the first thing we must do is to clarify what it is that we’re supposed to be happy about; what doeschelkomean? Now, what is the first aspect ofchelkothat all of us sitting here now have? “Your portion,” means first of all thatyou’re alive!You never thought about thatpshat, did you? You were thinking that it means that when you finally make five hundred thousand dollars, so then you’ll be happy, you’ll besamei’achb’chelko, even though you don’t have two million dollars yet. No, that’s not whatchelkomeans. If you’re still alive that’s already your portion that you’re expected to be full of joy about.Because there is no happiness like being alive!The happiness of being alive is an intense experience, only that we’re so accustomed to it that we ignore it. Let’s say a person would enjoy the fact that he is alive. Oh yes! How lucky you are that you’re alive. Don’t say it’s nothing. It’s everything! A millionaire would give up all of his property to stay alive. You’re alive!And there are plenty of people you know, some of them even your age, who are not alive anymore. I myself look back, when I was a boy. Some of mychaveirimpassed away early. There was a fourteen year old friend of mine – he passed away. A twenty year old friend of mine passed away when I was in the yeshiva.WALKING ON CLOUDS!You know what fun it is to be alive! And there’s a simple way to discover it. Here’s a man who’s going to a specialist because his physician found something. And he’s afraid he has something terrible. So the specialist gives him a complete series of tests; blood tests and scans and everything else, and then he has to go home for a few days and wait for an answer. For those few days the man can think of nothing else except for the phone call he’s expecting from the doctor. What is anything worth if he won’t be able to live?! And finally the doctor calls him into his office and sits him down and tells him, “I’m sorry to tell you there’snothingwrong with you!”Now, when this man walks out of the doctor’s office he’s stepping on clouds. He’s walking through Brooklyn and he’s the happiest man in the whole city. Because now he’s enjoying the sweetness of life. How sweet it is to be alive! The happiness of walking a Brooklyn street knowing that you’re alive is unequaled in all the pleasures of the wealthy.THE QUICK LANDINGOnly that what happens? He walks on clouds from here to Avenue P(two blocks away from the shul)and then he’s back on the ground again. He’s walking on the sidewalk again because he forgets. And that’s a tragedy because the happiness merely of being alive is a tremendous happiness that can keep you walking on clouds all day long.If only people would bestir themselves and say, “Why should I let this treasure go lost?! Why should I wait until the day comes when I’m a hundred and nineteen years old, and I’m laying in a home for the aged, and I’m looking through the window at the people walking the streets outside. I see how beautiful life is, and I’m thinking, ‘That was once me. I never realized how much fun being alive and walking the streets could be. And now I only have one or two days left.’” You know that when a man is lying in the hospital and he knows that his days are numbered, he says “If I could get on the street again. I could once more walk around, once more. What a happiness it would be!” He’s jealous when he looks down from the hospital window and sees people walking in the streetand living, and for him, soon it will be all over.Of course if you have it every day after a while your mind becomes stultified. If you haven’t studied it then you don’t even appreciate it anymore. Like I told you earlier, it’s a science; you need to create a program for happiness. It won’t come merely because you came here to the lecture and listened to me. Because if you don’t get busy making yourself happy, all this talk here is a waste.YOU’RE AN OUTSIDER!You have to learn how to besamei’achin yourcheilekof being alive. And so when you pass a funeral parlor – on Coney Island Avenue there are a number of funeral parlors – as you pass by one you say, “Boruch Hashem I’m on the outside!” I’m not joking; I’m very serious now. And when you pass the next one, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” There are three of them there. So by the third one also, “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside.” Say it with your mouth again, and again and again. To be outside of the funeral parlor is asimcha. Inside it’s a funeral home. A “home,” you might think that it’s comfortable, and there’s music for themeisim, and they serve lunch for themeisim. He’s in a box and that’s all. And you’re outside! “Boruch Hashem, I’m on the outside!”Now, being alive is a happinessad ein sof, no question about it. But you have to expand on that happiness, because there is much more than life itself. Because not only are you alive but you have functioning kidneys. I know a man who has no kidneys – it’s already years and years that he’s on the waiting list to get a kidney. Three times a week he has to go to the clinic for special treatments instead of a kidney. It takes hours and hours each time, and it’s expensive. But he’s happy to be alive; he’s happy to have a machine that keeps him alive. Because he knows that it’s ata’anugto be alive. And if he could just get one kidney, how happy he’d be.He wishes he could be you! He’d be delirious with joy!THE TRANSPLANT MANAnd here’s a man who finally was able to get a new kidney. He has one that he “borrowed” from his sister who was kind enough to give him one of her kidneys. So now he’s a “transplant man.” You think it’s so simple? This man cannot take certain medicines because they might upset his anti-rejection system. He takes a regimen of medicines to suppress the immunosuppressive reaction in him that would reject the new kidney. After all, the kidney is not his – it’s foreign matter inside his body. So the tendency of the body is to reject it. And so he’s always taking medicines to suppress the rejection apparatus.And there are some medicines that are sometimes vital to a person – maybe he gets an infection and he needs antibiotics – but now this man cannot take them because they would interfere with his anti-rejection medications. So this person may become subject to infections that he cannot combat because he can’t take medicines. And so all his life he is living precariously with his one kidney.THE CRAZY KIDNEY MANNow, how does this man look at the same world that you look at? If he sees somebody who is glum and downcast, you know what he thinks? He’s thinking, “That man is crazy! He has something to be sad about?! He has hisownkidney!” A kidney is a great happiness! A natural one that fits in exactly where it’s supposed to be! It’s suited to everything in his body. All the cells in his body have an especial peculiar individual makeup, and they accept his kidney. While the kidney that this poor fellow has, is being rejected by all the cells in his body. And he is constantly in fear that maybe somedaychas v’shalomthe cells in his body will win the fight – it’s a tug of war after all. And when this man sees you on the street he doesn’t understand how you cannot be ecstatic – not only do you have your own kidney, but you have two of them. You’re not only a millionaire, you’re a multi-millionaire!Now I’ll say it again because you have to get it into your heads. Hearing this is not going to make you happy – you have to get to work. So when you go to the bathroom and your kidneys are working perfectly, your bladder is functioning to perfection, you were successful in your “mission.” Are you thinking about it and becoming a happy person? You make anasher yatzar, but while you’re making thebrachahyou’re making motions to somebody in the house, “Wait, wait; I’ll be done in a second.” That’s the way to makeasher yatzar?! A man without kidneys; if he could makeasheryatzar, what a happiness it would be!HEALTHY BEGGAR OR SICK RICH MAN?You have to bestir the happiness in your mind – at least when you’re making thebrachah. And actually, even that is not enough. All day long you should be thinking about your kidneys. Of course, all day long you can’t do, but during the day when you’re walking the street, take a minute to feel like your walking on clouds because you have functioning kidneys. And don’t say it’s impossible to live that way. It’s possible. You have to just get busy doing it. It’s hard work. You do it one day and then the next day you have to do it even more. You pass by a dialysis clinic, stop for a half minute – a half minute on the clock – and thank Hashem for the joy of having a kidney. And if you do it, if you become happy with your kidney, so now you’re a millionaire. And if you’re ecstatic because you have two kidneys, so you’re a multi-millionaire.So now you’re a multi-millionaire. But that’s only the beginning. I know a man who had to have an operation and he can no longer eliminate by means of his anus. He now has a bag attached to his side. You have to realize that this man walks the streets envying everyone who has a rectum in the right place. If he could restore that natural function, that his orifice should be where it’s supposed to be, that man would give away all his earthly possessions. There’s no question that he would prefer being a beggar with a rectum to be being a millionaire with a bag on his side.THE SILLINESS OF MANKINDAnd now we see how silly all of mankind is if they don’t sing because of what they possess. And not only when you use that orifice, when you move your bowels, but all day. Frequently, as you walk down the street, you should bestir this happiness in your mind – how lucky you are; how convenient it is; how comfortable it is; how wealthy you are. It’s a joy to have the function of natural elimination and it’s a cause for actual tangible pleasure and for singing. A man who has sense, Torah sense, actuallyrejoicesin his ability to eliminate.Now the more you learn how to be happy from all these things, so it grows on you, it becomes part of your personality. Little by little it grows upon your mind an attitude of optimism, and you become a happy personality. “I’m so happy to be alive, to be on this side of the cemetery gate.” That’s what you should think about when you walk for the street. “And not only am I alive, but I have kidneys!” Now, that’s a wealth! “And not only kidneys, but I don’t need a bag on my side! I’m normal!” It’s a great happiness to be normal!THE DELICIOUS COCKTAILSo now we begin to see that it’s important for us to dwell on details. You have to take one thing at a time; maybe one week you’ll work let’s say on enjoying air. Getting the pleasure of breathing. The truth is that when you walk outside tonight, you should take a deep breath. “Ahhh!” you should say.” It’s really ata’anug.”No cocktail that you could buy in the store compares to the cocktail of fresh air. People walk in the street today and they drink in the street to show off they’re drinking. That’smeshugas.What do you need it for?! Drink in the fresh air. It’s free of charge and it’s much healthier. Fill your lungs. It makes your blood become red immediately, the fresh air.Get into the habit – one week learn to praise Hashem for air. This week whenever you can, think about the happiness of being able to breathe fresh air. After a while you’re happy when you think about the air. Breathing is fun! I once told you about a simple experiment, didn’t I? Dip your head in a bucket of waterthreetimes and take it outtwice! Anyhow, then wait till you can’t anymore, and finally you’ll take it out this time and you’ll take one deep breath – “Ahh, is that delicious!” The truth is that it’s always delicious. Breathing is delicious!So let’s say you’re walking to thebeis haknessesand you tell yourself, “Isn’t it a wonderful thing that there is air to breathe?!” Now at first it’s achiddush gadol. Air?! I’m afraid that even if you tell it totalmidei chachomimit’s a big chiddush. You tell him, “Yes, air is vital. I’ll prove to you that it’s what you need more than anything else. You can get along without food for days and days. Without water, for a shorter time, but you can get along without water too – for a few days maybe. But without air you can’t get along.”“HALF HALLEL” IS NOT ENOUGHIt says in the Medrash on the possuk כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה, that על כל נשימה ונשימה תהלל י-ה, for every breath you have to say Hallel. And myrebbisaid it meansgantzHallel. For every breath you owe Hashema full hallel. Now, you don’t have time for that – you’re too busy breathing – but at least you have to know thatthat’s how delicious it is!When a person is a little bit dejected, discouraged, what a good idea it is to go to the window and breathe deeply. We don’t realize. It’s like a drink of very strong medicine. Air comes into your lungs and the oxygen unites with your blood and makes your blood more red. It’s a fact. As you breathe, your blood becomes more invigorated with oxygen. The iron in your blood that makes it red, the hemoglobin, unites with the oxygen, and it carries the oxygen on its path through all the blood vessels everywhere in the body to invigorate all the cells. The whole body is different because you breathe. And therefore it’s a good idea to practice breathing just for the feel of it, just to appreciate that great gift of air.200 MILES OF CHESSEDThe world is full of air. That’s what it means מלוא כל הארץ כבודו. So a man will tell you, “K’vodo? That means the “glory of Hashem.’ Where does air come into it?” What do you think is “the glory of Hashem”? The glory of Hashem is Hischessed. Thechessedof Hashem fills the world. And what is one of the most prevalent kindnesses of Hashem? Air! Hakodosh Boruch Hu made two hundred miles of it. Two hundred miles up of air! Now the air is not one thing. It’s a cocktail mixed exactly with the right ingredients to make it not only beneficial to us but it tastes good too. It’s mixed with oxygen, about twenty percent. All the rest is mostly nitrogen and inert gas because you need something with which to carry the oxygen. If the air was all oxygen, you’d become drunk. If you would breathe oxygen alone, you would get dizzy, you’d become intoxicated. So you have to have the nitrogen to dilute the oxygen; and a little bit of carbon dioxide is essential because it’s an incentive to your lungs to breathe more deeply. And then traces of a few other gases together and it makes together a combination of the perfect material that’s suited for human beings.You know what we are? We’re like fish in the bottom of an ocean. Fish in the ocean. Fish don’t like air. They want water. We’re in an ocean, an ocean of air. The ocean is two hundred miles high. We’re like fish living in this ocean of air, and we love it. That’s our element. If we were to change places with a fish, we wouldn’t be happy, just like a fish wouldn’t be happy if he took our place. And therefore let’s enjoy this ocean while we have it.STRANGLED IN HIS SUMMER HOMESo practice up on this. On the way home, When you walk out of here onto Ocean Parkway – it’s a beautiful street, a parkway with trees and bushes. Now after the rain they’re exuding a fragrance, and the combined fragrance of different kinds of shrubs and trees, combined with the city odors – it’s a pleasure those city odors – and they combine to give a certain cocktail that you don’t drink; you draw it deep into your lungs and you can learn to enjoy it.You think a summer home in Maine and a winter home in Florida is going to make you happy? No, that’s nothing. What good would the home be if you were strangled without air, if you were suffocating for air. Breathing is a big simcha! Some people have difficulty breathing. You know that some people have difficulty breathing?(The Rav took a deep breath). Ahh! It’s a pleasure to fill your lungs.Mamishataanug! Don’t laugh at breathing – it’s a great happiness to breathe.WEEK #2: WALKING IS A HAPPINESSSo you’ve begun to scratch the surface of the happiness of breathing. It was only a week of thinking after all, but you’re a wealthy man already. Now suppose you would spend a week becoming happy that you can walk. So the next week change and start appreciating the fact that you can walk. Walking is asimchah. המכין מצעדי גבר, “How happy I am that I can walk.” Look how many people sit in wheelchairs. Walking is fun. Your thigh swings forward in effortless motion and all of your joints are functioning to perfection. You don’t hear any scraping as you bend your knee, do you? That’s asimcha! You don’t feel any chaffing? Ah, it’s a pleasure to walk. And it’s good exercise too. The entire body is moving. It’s good for your heart. It’s good for everything if you walk. And besides for that, walking shows you’re in control of yourself. All your muscles cooperate to walk and you learn what it means המכין מצעדי גבר.If you walk in the street and you see – like I saw yesterday – a girl who was hopping around on crutches. But the stump of her other leg didn’t stick out. That’s how much was cut off. Now that was an apparition, sent to memin hashamayim. Because how much would this girl give to regain her leg? No money in the world would be too much! And therefore, as you walk in the street you have to think about thatbrachahyou mumbled in the morning, ברוך אתה השם אלוקינו מלך העולם המכין מצעדי גבר – I thank You Hashem for establishing the footsteps of a man. “I’m able to take footsteps on my own feet!” It’s a happiness to be able to walk on your own two feet. You know how ecstatic a man is who has been confined to a wheelchair for a long time – he wasn’t able to walk – and finally he regained that ability! He’s overjoyed! So the second week, you’ll work on the happiness of walking.Now you’re an even wealthier man. You own a few apartment houses already. You have your lungs that are breathing in the great elixir of life we call air, that’s one apartment building that’s yours. Another apartment building is the happiness of being able to walk. That’s a very valuable piece of property! So you’re already a pretty wealthy fellow. You can walk in the street now and your pockets are full of cash. If your pockets would be full of hundred dollar bills bulging on both sides, it’s nothing compared to the person who spent two weeks working on the happiness of fresh air and on the ecstasy of walking. As I walk in the street balancing myself on two legs, and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life!BE QUEER AND BE HAPPYSo we’re beginning to see now that in order to be asamei’ach b’chelkoyou have to be a queer kind of a fellow. You can’t always share your feelings with other people; they’ll laugh at you. באזני כסיל אל תדבר – “Don’t speak into the ears of a fool.” He’ll make light of these ideas and cool you off (Mishlei 23:9). “There’s a fellow over there, down Ocean Parkway, who’s happy that he has two kidneys! Ha!” Try to tell people that you’re filled with joy, you’remamish b’simchabecause breathing is fun, so they’ll think you’re wacky. Butthey’re the wacky onesbecause they’re missing all the happiness of this world.I know what the people will say when you go out of here. You’ll talk to people and they’ll tell you other things. Don’t be misled! Here comes along afrumtzaddikand says to me, “You’re teaching people to enjoy life?! The purpose of life ista’anugim?! To berodef ta’anugim,run after pleasures?!” He was upset at me. I looked at him and said, “Look, you have a wristwatch. I don’t have a wristwatch. Youdrive a carwhen you come to theyeshivah. Iwalkto theyeshivah. Who is running after pleasure, you or I? You’re running after it but you don’t have it. I’m not looking for pleasures. They’re coming to me. As I walk in the street with my “Rolls Royce” – my two shoes, that’s my Rolls Royce – and I’m breathing the air of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m enjoying life. I walk past the cemetery on Ocean Parkway, and I’m filled with happiness that I’m on this side of the gate.” That kind ofkosherta’anugimis achiyuv,it’s amitzvahgedolahto enjoy life that way.ICE CREAM IN THE SUNAll this is serious talk. I know that if you go to akolleland you’ll tell them these things, they’ll laugh at you. That’s because they’re silly – they don’t begin knowing Torah. And don’t tell me that enjoyment and happiness is not fortzadikim. Oh no, you bigtzadik, you don’t want to enjoy the sun and the wind. He’s eating his chocolate cakes and ice cream, but to be happy with the sun, that’s too much.Happiness is not running after good times, not goingchalilahto entertainment, and fun places. No;chas v’shalom, chas v’shalom, that’smeshugas. People who are running after good times are never enjoying life – they’re always running after good times and fun, but they never find it. Never. They’re always busy running, pursuing, but they’ll never find it – because they’re looking in all the wrong places.“G-D MADE” EARPHONES, SPEAKERS, AND CAMERASWho needs places of entertainment to be happy when you have all the happiness right here! Look at yourself, “I’m alive,boruchHashem.” Look at your feet; “Boruch Hashem,two of them! And they’re both the same size!” Look at your ears; “Boruch Hashem!” They’re “earphones” hanging on the side of your head – and you don’t have to buy them in the store. You have teeth; slicing teeth in the front and the grinders in the back. Boruch Hashem! You have a functioning tongue that’s busy all day long in your mouth. You have a “speaker” in your mouth, vocal chords. Boruch Hashem. And eyes! “Cameras” in your head. Boruch Hashem! You can walk, Boruch Hashem! המכין מצעדי גבר. That’s some trick you have there being able to balance yourself as you walk. Boruch Hashem! And that’s only the beginning.You have to learn how to be happy with your clothing. It’s not enough to say thebrachahofmalbish arumimin general andpaturyourself. You have to study the details of your clothing in order to become a happy person. The pockets and the buttons, everything. Study it.THE SHOES IN THE TREASURE CHESTStudy your shoes. Shoes are a happiness. Did you ever think about that? You know that in some countries people don’t have shoes. Only one man wears shoes, that’s the king of the tribe. And not every day. Once in a while he puts on shoes, when a visitor comes from outside, a tourist, so he wants to show he’s a sport so he puts on shoes. Otherwise he doesn’t put on shoes. Shoes are a big luxury. It’s a very complicated achievement, a shoe. Look at the different kinds of leather. And rubber heels. And you need shoestrings. A shoe is a treasure.So let’s say a colonel from the American Air Force lands on that island, so the king takes his shoes out from his treasure chest, and he puts them on, and he marches with his short pants covering his naked body, with some feathers in his head to greet the colonel. And he shows him his shoes. He’s so happy; he’s “an aristocrat.”THE GREAT BLESSING OF SHOELACE TIPSWe should know that shoes are a happiness. It’s not an exaggeration at all. It’s no exaggeration; shoes are a happiness for us. Just because you live in a country where everyone can afford shoes, should that decrease the happiness in any way?!That’s why we’re expected to say every day, שעשה לי כל צרכי. But we’re lazy, we don’t think. Often we’re not even thinking about thepeirush hamilos.I’m not talking now about the “formality” of making thebrachahin shul. When you’re walking down the street, take a minute every day to be happy with your shoes. Think about the details. “How lucky I am to have shoelaces that have plastic tips. If there wasn’t a plastic tip, then I’d have a hard job fitting it into the hole. I’d have to spit on it, and twist it and try to push it through the hole. Boruch Hashem I have plastic on the tips of the laces.”THE DOCTORS ARE OVERCOME WITH EMOTIONOnce you begin thinking this way, you can begin to be happy with all the functions of life. I mentioned the sense of sight before. I can’t just gloss over it quickly. You’re able to see! If you don’t appreciate that, then take a look at the person walking in the street with a white cane tapping his way. What would he do if he could get eyes like you have today?! Even one eye!It was recently reported in the papers that a woman who had a cataract for many years and her situation was considered hopeless. She was a married woman, with children, but she had no sight. And then it was decided to attempt an experimental operation on her. For a long time the bandages remained on her eyes. And finally the doctor came in and he took off the bandages – just for a moment they were taken off so as not to strain her eyes – but in that one moment she screamed in delirium. She could see! And the doctors were weeping. They were overcome with emotion.Now isn’t it a tragedy that we don’t weep in happiness at this great gift of sight!Boruch atah Hashem pokei’ach ivrim, Who opens up the eyes of the blind every morning. Finally this lady saw her husband for the first time; she finally saw her children. And she said that she didn’t want anything more out of lifeexcept to be able to look!FREE LENS CLEANSING GERMICIDESThe happiness of sight, the happiness of seeing color! Seeing is life itself. Thegemarasays that סומא חשוב כמת – in one sense a blind man is like a dead man. He’snotdead – there are a lot of compensations in life – but in a certain way he’s dead. Because the great happiness of having two “cameras” is a joy that a living person shouldn’t be without. Even one camera! How lucky we are! And it’s a color camera that focuses by itself; all day long it’s working perfectly, focusing in, focusing out. Every time you blink you’re washing off the lens with a film of germicide that cleanses. It’s a perfectly functioning camera that has no equal among the best fabrications of Mankind.That’s how you’re expected to think – that’ssameach b’chelko. Not that you’re satisfied with “merely” five hundred thousand dollars. When a man learns to enjoy the fact that he has two good eyes, he is more wealthy than the man who has two million dollars. So how can we be satisfied in the morning with a dry as dust declaration, “pokei’ach ivrim”, which most times we don’t even think about what we’re saying? Isn’t that a tragedy?“I HAVE TWO ARMS!”Now we have to keep on going. Look all around you; did you ever see a man with only one arm? Two weeks ago I saw a man without any arms.Both arms were missing! And I said to myself, “Look, you learnChovos Halevavos, don’t you? How can you pass him by?” So I took another look. I waited till he passed by – I didn’t want to embarrass him – and I took another look to remind myself. And for at least a half a block I was walking on air, thinking how lucky I am to have two arms. Thinkchas v’shalomwhat it would be like if you didn’t have two arms. What would you do? For a half a block I was ecstatic. But a half a block is not enough – it has to be all the time!Not only do you have arms and legs, but your mind is normal. Oooh, what achessedthat is! So many people are very confused; mental illnesses, imbeciles, and depression. Depression is also a sickness, it’s also like being an imbecile. And therefore, ברוך אתה השם חונן הדעת! How can you sayshemonah esreievery day, and ignore thatbracha. It’s the first of the weekdaybrachos, and you’re thanking Hashem thatyou’re sane! Three times a day you say it; shouldn’t you appreciate that great gift?Chonein hadaas –You bestowed sanity upon me.THEY FROZE IN SLABODKAAppreciate the roof over your head. Did you ever stop to appreciate the happiness of a warm house? Once upon a time when a Jew came into his house, “Ah, avarme shtub,” he said. “Ah varme shtub!” In thebeis hamedrashhe was freezing. I sat in Slabodka and we were freezing in theyeshiva! We were freezing! It was hard to heat theyeshiva. The stove was over there at the end, behind the wall, and you put in some wood there till it burned out. It was barely enough to heat that little room. If you would stand next to the stove you would feel some heat – otherwise it was cold. And so you would come home and it was a great happiness to be in avarme shtub. You should be filled with joy when you come into a warm house. And today you can enjoy that happiness in thebeis medrashas well.Warmth is a great happiness. You can ask that poor woman sitting outside on the bench on Ocean Parkway. She has no home. I see her pushing a shopping wagon with all her belongings in that little wagon. She has no warm place to sleep. If somebody would let her rest in the vestibule of their home, it would be the greatest happiness for her. She’d bemeshugehwith joy.LYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOORNow that’s achiddushto most people. A warm house? Yes, a warm house is a happiness. It’s not easy to have a house that’s warm. When I was a boy we didn’t have warm houses. It was only warm in the kitchen where the coal stove was.You had to put coal in the stove. When the coal burned out you had to take the ashes out of the stove. That was the only room where there was warmth. If I wanted to read, I laid down on the floor in the kitchen. I laid on the floor all day, all night, in the kitchen by the stove. All the rest of the house didn’t have any warmth. We didn’t have any radiators. No such thing. The house was cold. If you wanted to warm a house, you put a kerosene stove in the rooms. The kerosene stove had to have oil there and sometimes it didn’t work. When you got up in the morning, the whole room was black, including your face too, it made everything black, the soot from the kerosene stove. This luxury of having a warm house is something the modern people have to realize.Ahhh! What a pleasure it is to have a warm house. So when you walk in with your children in the wintertime from thebeis haknesses, say “Chaim’ll, isn’t it good to have a warm house?” Rub your hands together. He looks at you like you fell off the moon. He doesn’t understand you. “How silly adults are,” he thinks. Never mind.That’s the way to bring up children and eventually he’ll thank you for that.THENEISOF THE FAUCETWhen I was in Slabodka nobody had running water in the house. You had to go a half block away to get water. And you couldn’t drink it; it was dangerous to drink well water. You had to boil it up first. And here in your house you turn the faucet and water comes out, pure water fit to drink! What a wealth, what a happiness that is! And even hot water! Hot water coming out of a faucet! It’s a luxury upon luxuries. Once upon a time hot water came only from springs, hot springs. If you didn’t have hot springs you couldn’t get any hot water unless you boiled it. Think about that every time you turn on the faucet, and you’ll start becoming asamei’achb’chelko.You have to talk to yourself about your home. As you walk on the steps, you should whisper to yourself, “Isn’t it good we have steps?” You know, I have steps upstairs, and many times I think about how in the olden days in thegemarathey didn’t have steps. They had a ladder, adargah. Try climbing a ladder to go upstairs; it’s not so simple. Now even a ladder is also a very good invention. Otherwise you would have to go with a rope, you’d have to lift yourself up. But even a ladder is not so safe. Steps are a luxury.A HANDRAIL ISPIKUACH NEFESHSo here you have a man walking up steps and he’s thanking Hashem for this luxury of steps, for the happiness of a staircase. But not only the steps, there’s a railing too! You know the building code requires you to make a railing, so somechachamim be’eineihemtry to avoid the building code and leave out the rail. They deceive the inspector. So what happens? Sometimes they’re walking up the steps and they’re a little busy and they fall down. You can break your neckchalilah.The railing is there; it’s a happiness,mamishpikuachnefesh. What a blessing a handrail is! You ever stopped to think about that? Never even once did the handrail make you happy?!“All this is silly,” you’ll say. Formeshuga’imeverything is silly. So let them bemeshugeh, and you be happy! You walk up the steps and you’re happy because of the handrail. And the older you get, the more you’ll enjoy it. Imagine a man enjoying the handrail. His life is full of fun, full of happiness.BECOMING A MILLIONAIRE TAKES WORKYou learn little by little. Of course it’s a career. You have to put in work. You could put in five minutes a day practicing enjoying air, five minutes a day practicing enjoying your eyes. Five minutes a day next week practicing enjoying walking. Five minute a day practice enjoying clothing. Little by little you’re gathering up in your bank account wealth and little by little you’re becoming a happy man of many riches, many treasures.But you have to do it, though. Just hearing me say it, is not enough. It takes work to be a fake millionaire, so to be the true millionaire of “hasamei’achbi’chelko”surely takes time and hard work. Like I said before, it doesn’t come by itself. You have to make up your mind that you’re going to pursue this career of happiness and that you’ll always be saying, “I thank You Hashem.” Always, “I thank You Hashem for giving me this breakfast. I thank you Hashem for being able to go to the bathroom.” And don’t rely on thebrachosyou make. You must say it with your mouth in your own language. Always. And then, המחשבה נמשכת אחר הדיבור – your mind will be transformed because of your speech and you will become a happy man. At first it won’t work. You won’t feel so happy. But you keep thinking and talking and these ideas will settle into your mind.RAV MILLER’S GUARANTEE FOR HAPPINESSThat’s what theMesillas Yesharimsays: החיצוניות מעוררת את הפנימיות – The outwardliness bestirs the inwardliness. It’s not sincere – you’re not so happy about breathing. But keep it up, and little by little you’re priming your well, and from the depths of yourneshamareal happiness will come out. Little by little, you’ll add more things. And all the things after a while start adding up you become the real millionaire. And after a while you’ll have forty, fifty things. And that’s nothing yet because there’s so much more than that. But you’ll be happy with forty things and you’ll be a rich man. You’ll be a rich man already. And if you’re a young man yet – even a young man of sixty – you’ll keep on this path, on this career, until you’re in your nineties and you’ll be a very wealthy person.I guarantee you that if you do it, you will become happy with the so many wonderful things that you have always taken for granted. And you will become a servant of Hashem and a great man. Not only will you become a happy person but you will become a great person.HASHEM TAUGHT US THE PATH TO HAPPINESSSo make sure to rejoice in all these things and life becomes so delicious. Life is so full of fun thatyou’re always at a party. People at a party are really morose! Let’s saychalilahyou were at a New Year’s party and you saw people reveling – singing and dancing and blowing whistles, jumping up and down. It’s nothing; it’s an empty happiness. They don’t haveanythingon the man who is really enjoying life. They don’t even begin to understand what you, the happy man or woman is all about. You’realwaysrejoicing!Now, there is a lot more to be studied on this subject – I have many more things listed here that I wanted to talk to you about, but I’m already way past time. But at least we began studying the subject. It’s a science that must be studied and practiced, but at least we know that there is such a thing as happiness the way Hakodosh Boruch Hu expects it, and it’s available to all of us.And don’t ask me questions: “Why don’t I see this from myrebbe, from this person or thattzadik?” Don’t believe it; therealtzadikimknow thatthis is the pathto true happiness in life. Because it’s the path – the way of happiness – that Hashem set down for us on the day we leftMitzrayim. And people who don’t walk this path set down by Hakodosh Boruch Hu are falling short not of greatmadreigos– don’t think they’re falling short of high levels of virtue and perfection. No, they’re falling short of the elementary requirements that Hashem taught us on that great day ofYetzias Mitzrayim:היום אתם יוצאים בחודש האביב – that it is the beauty of a spring day and the thousands of other ordinary details of our lives that are supposed to be the real source of our happiness. And therefore, they’re falling short of living happy lives infused with the endless joy of all the simple pleasures of life symbolized by the lesson of חודש האביב.HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. There is much overhead to maintain this service so please help us continue our goal of helping Jewish lecturers become podcasters and support us with a donation: https://thechesedfund.com/jewishpodcasts/donate

Hashem’s Bitter MedicineIT’S TIME TO GO HOME!InParshas Va’eirathe seeds of our redemption fromMitzrayimfinally begin to take root and sprout. The time has come for the tenmakkos, the great retribution upon Pharaoh and his slavemaster people, and for theAm Yisroelto finally make their exit from the long and arduous servitude in the ארץ לא להם, the land not their own. Thegeulahof theAm Yisroel,the fulfillment of ואחרי כן יצאו ברכוש גדול, had finally arrived.And on what basis was theAm Yisroelgoing to be taken out ofMitzrayimnow? That we all know; it was thebris bein hab’sarim,the famous covenant that Hashem had made with Avraham centuries earlier. You remember when Avraham asked Hakodosh Boruch Hu: במה אדע כי אירשנה – “How do I know that the land will be mine”? (Bereishis 15:8). “Give me some guarantee,” begged Avraham, “a guarantee that I’m going to receive the land; that my progeny will one day inherit this land.” Avraham was worried; “Who knows? Maybe our merit won’t be sufficient. Maybe someday You’ll be unpleased with us. I want an unbreakable covenant with You!” So Hakadosh Baruch Hu told him then, “Take three calves, three goats and three rams, so that you and I can enter into a covenant.” And what did Avraham do? He took these animals and cut them in half and set the parts opposite each other.That was the practice in those days. It says that in Yirmiyahu (34:19). When you wanted to enter a covenant, when you wanted to commit yourself to a course of action with an unbreakable promise, you would divide an animal and pass between its pieces as a sign of your commitment to uphold the deal.HAKODOSH BORUCH HU SEALS THE DEALSo what happened? Hakadosh Baruch Hu sent down His Presence, His glory, in the form of a fiery furnace to “seal the deal.” Suddenly a greatdread and a darkness fell upon the scene. And Avraham witnessed how this fiery furnace – it was the Presence of Hashem – marched between the offerings. והנה תנור עשן ולפיד אש אשר עבר בין הגזרים האלה – “And behold, a smoking furnace and a torch of fire passed through the pieces” (ibid. 15:17).That was thebris bein hab’sarim, when Hakodosh Boruch Hu came down and entered into a covenant with Avraham. ביום ההוא כרת השם את אברהם ברית – “On that day Hashem made a covenant with Avraham” (ibid. 15:18). It’s something unequaled in the history of our people, even among the greatest prophets, that such a covenant was made. That Hakodosh Boruch Hu should come down and “shake hands” to close the deal?! It’s unheard of in all of history.And what did Hakodosh Boruch Hu tell Avraham at that moment? ידע תדע כי גר יהיה זרעך בארץ לא להם – “Know with certainty that your offspring will be sojourners in a land not their own, ועבדום וענו אותם… ואחרי כן יצאו ברכוש גדול- “And they will enslave them, and oppress them… and afterwards they shall leave with great possessions… to your descendants I have given this land” (ibid. 15:13-18). So it was an imperishable promise that Hakadosh Baruch Hu had made, that He would stand by His people and that He would eventually take them out ofMitzrayimand bring them to the land that He had promised to them.THE TIME FINALLY COMESAnd now, in the beginning of ourparsha, Hakodosh Boruch Hu is telling Moshe to let His people know that the time has come. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is invoking that great promise He had made centuries before. וגם הקימותי את בריתי איתם לתת להם את ארץ כנען – “I am upholding My covenant that I made for them to give them Eretz Canaan” (Va’eira 6:4). “The time has come for Me to fulfill My promise to the Bnei Yisroel,” says Hashem, והבאתי אתכם אל הארץ אשר נשאתי את ידי לתת אותה – “And I will bring you to the land which I raised up My hand to give it to you” (ibid. 6:8).But it’s very important that we should listen to the next verse, thepossukafter Hashem invokes the great promise:וגם הקימותי את בריתי – “And not only am I upholding the covenant I made with Avraham,” but also – now listen to these words: וגם אני שמעתי את נאקת בני ישראל אשר מצרים מעבידים אותם – and I also heard the outcry of the Bnei Yisroel, ואזכור את בריתי – “And therefore, I am now reminded of My promise to them” (ibid. 6:5). What do we see here? That despite the covenant, despite the oath that had to be fulfilled – it’s the word of Hashem after all so there’s no way that He would fail to fulfill it –despite all that, Hakodosh Boruch Huwaiteduntil he heard their outcry.THE GREAT OUTCRYAnd not just one outcry; they cried out for a long time. It’s repeated again and again: “I have heard their crying out” (ibid. 3:7), “Their crying out has come before Me” (ibid. 3:9), “I have heard the groaning outcry ofBnei Yisroel.” And it was only when He heard enough outcries from them, וגם שמעתי את נאקת בני ישראל, it was only then that finally Hakodosh Boruch Hu decided to fulfill His covenant with them.And that’s something we say every day in thesiddurועונה לעמו ישראל בעת שועםאליו – “Hashemanswers His people Yisroel, at the time that they cry out to Him.” It doesn’t say merely that He hastens to their succor; thatHe is at hand to help them. It doesn’t say that. It saysv’oneh, “He is ready to answer them.” When?B’eis shav’ameilav, at the time that they cry out.Shav’ammeans “a great outcry.” ואת שועתם ישמע – “He hears their outcries,” ויושיעם – “AndthenHe rescues them” (Tehillim 145:19). So we see that it’s not sufficient merely to mumble a little prayer. And even to cry out once or twice is not enough. It’s important to make a big outcry to Hashem, and to do it again and again.DID WE MISS THE FINE PRINT?And actually that’s a very big question. Because whydidHashem need our outcry? He had already raised His hand and swore that He would take us out fromMitzrayim! So why is the crying out to Him for help under the heavy weight of oppression so important? And even more remarkable, the words of thepossukimply that our redemption wasdependenton our crying out: ועתה הנה צעקת בני ישראל באה אלי…ועתה לכה ואשלחך אל פרעה והוצא את עמי בני ישראל ממצרים – “The outcry ofBneiYisroelhas come to Me…AndnowI will send you to Pharaoh and take out My nation fromMitzrayim” (ibid. 3:9-10). Even the great covenant of thebris bein hab’sarim,the inviolate word of Hashem wasdependenton theAm Yisroel’sentreaties, on their crying out to Hashem. And that’s very strange because that wasn’t part of thebris bein hab’sarim;“crying out” wasn’t part of the deal that we “signed!”But first, there’s a fundamental question we have to ask about the entire subject oftefillah, of praying for something. We introduce many of our prayers with the wordsyehi ratzon– “May it be Your will, Hashem…” For instance, suppose somebody is in the midst ofshemonah esreiand he remembers there’s somebody ill,chalilah, in the family. Or it’s a person he knows and he wants to pray for him. So he adds these words:יהי רצון מלפניךהשם אלוקינו ואלוקי אבותינו שתשלח מהרה רפואה שלימה מן השמים רפואת הנפש ורפואת הגוף – “It should be Your will Hashem, our G-d and the G-d of our fathers, that You should send speedily a complete recovery from heaven, a recovery of the soul and recovery of the body,” that means mentally and physically. And we mention the person, his name, so that he should be healed among all the othercholeiYisroel. Now, we are sayingyehi ratzon, it should be Your will. That’s how we introduce thetefillah.ILLNESS IS ALSO CHESSED HASHEMNow we have to know that whatever “happens” to a person is Hashem’s will. Nobody is sick because of accident. It’s always Hashem’s will. Of course, sometimes a man can induce the illness by his own carelessness, but nevertheless it’s Hashem’s will. That’s his punishment for being negligent with his care, with his health, or his safety. If a man is careless, he’s being punishedby Hashem. No matter what, it’s Hashem’s will that decreed that this man should be ill.And when Hakadosh Baruch Hu makes a decree like that, we have a principle, a fundamental principle calledkol orchos Hashem chesed v’emes –all the ways of Hashem are kindliness and truth (Tehillim 25:10).צדיק השם בכל דרכיו – “Hashem is righteous in all His ways,” וחסיד בכל מעשיו –”And He is kindly in all His acts.” (Ibid. 145:17) Now, when you come in here you have to divest yourself of outside attitudes. Because here we want to studyTorah attitudes; and the truth of the matter is thatHakadosh Baruch Hu does everything for kindly purposes. Everything! And if it was His will that this man should be ill, then it must be for this man’s benefit. What the most important benefit is, we’ll study soon, but it’s out of the question that it shouldn’t be a kindliness. Itcertainlyis for the person’s benefit.“HASHEM, CAN I GET A SECOND OPINION?”So here it was Hakadosh Baruch Hu’sratzonto give this man the benefit of becoming sick. So the question arises, where do we get the audacity to ask Hashem to change His will? Suppose a man goes to a physician and the physician writes a prescription for some medication, let’s say it’s a foul tasting medication. Would the man say to the physician, יהי רצון מלפניך – “It should be your willnotto give me this prescription. I want to get along without the prescription.”? Only ameshugenehwould say such a thing! The doctor studied for years and years, his profession is medicine, his knowledge and experience is medicine. He’s the expert here. And you’re just an obstinate fellow, maybe ignorant too. Either the expense is too much for you, or maybe you don’t like the taste of the medicine. So you don’t want to bother with it. It’s ameshugasto even ask such a thing!And here is Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the great Healer, and He’s prescribing for a man certain pills – whether the pills are troubles, or headaches, or pains, or illness – big and small. Whatever it is, it’s certainlypills. There’s no question that Hashem is benefitting the man by giving him these troubles, these misfortunes, pains or illnesses. So how can a man say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, “I beg of you,yehi ratzon, that You should change the prescription, or not give me the prescription at all?” That’s a big question that needs to be answered. And actually that’s what all ourbakashosseem to be – an attempt to change the will of Hashem.WHY ALL THE TURBULENCE?And another question – just as important and maybe even more perplexing: What’s Hashem’s purpose in causing any disturbance, either in a man’s health or in his family life or in his business? It’s a question we want to ask of Him: “Why do You send anything to ruffle the tranquility of our lives?” After all, like we just said, Hashem’s ways are perfect, and He is kindly in all of His deeds. That’s a truism. So why is it that we see sometimes that Hashem does things that seem to be contradictory to these principles of kindliness?Actually it’s a question that all thinking men ask one time or another. Because chalilahsomething happens; sometimes it happens. Here’s a man who’s successful, and all of a sudden a freak misfortune happens to him and unfortunately he’s in the hospital. It’s not an accident, it’s Hashem! So he’s thinking, “Why did this happen to me? Before everything was going smoothly with me;boruch HashemI was a good frum Jew more or less. Why did Hashem do this?”THE GREATEST CHESED!And the answer is as follows: There is a great kindliness that’s most paramount, more important than all thechassodimin the world – more important thanparnasah, more important thanshalom bayis, and good health. And that’s the kindliness calledyiras Hashem.Yiras Hashem– which means to be Aware of Hashem, that’s the most important thing in your life. Now, this might sound queer to the ears of those who live with materialism, but it’s a fundamental principle that we must get into our heads.We are here to gain Awareness of Hashem.Now, if that’s the purpose, then what a tragedy it is when people let their lives go by and fail to utilize the opportunities to recognize Hashem. You forgot about Him?! To forget Hashem is the worst ruinationin life! To live without awareness is not a life worth living!So Hashem sees that you’re wasting your life – of course you’re afrumperson – you’re doingmitzvos,you’re ultra-ultra Orthodox.But that’s not enough for Hashem. He doesn’t want “Orthodox;” He wants to squeezegreatnessout of you! He wants to save you so that your life shouldn’t be wasted. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to give you the gift of being Aware of Him.HASHEM: A ONE DAY HEADACHE FOR CHAIMSo what does Hashem do? He orders a prescription; one headache. Prescribed: Chaim ben Dovid,one headache, for one day. It’s a pill. And so one morningyou wake up with a headache. And what’s the purpose of that prescription?The purpose of the headache is so that you should call out to Him and achieve the perfection of even a little more awareness of Hashem.And when you do that, you’re turning your migraine into diamonds!All the events in a man’s life are being manipulated by Hakadosh Boruch Hu; He puts disturbances in your life so you’ll call out to Him. And that is the chief purpose of every mishap in your life; to cause you to cry out for aid from Hashem and to thereby become more aware of Him. The outcry that comes from desperation, from unrequited needs and from anguished hopes for the future, causes Awareness of Hashem’s Presence, and it is that Awareness that is the true achievement, the chief purpose of Man’s existence in this life.“BETTER ANGER THAN LAUGHTER”And now we have an answer to the age old question of why “bad” things happen to good people: Because Awareness of Hashem is the greatestchesedthat Hashem can give man, and most often it is thetzaros,and the crying out to Hashem it encourages, that brings this Awareness. When you’re subject to adversity, that’s the great opportunity to bemakirHakodosh Boruch Hu, to recognize Hashem. When a man finds himself subject to mishaps and misfortunes – he needs things, so it’s much easier for him to raise his eyes to Hakadosh Boruch Hu and ask for it; and that is the great gift of Awareness of Hashem.And therefore, טוב כעס משחוק – Better anger than laughter” (Koheles 7:3). Now we know that’s not true. Anger is no good; it’s a very big mistake to get angry. But there isoneanger that is good – and that’s Hashem’s anger. טוב כעס שכועס הקדוש ברוך הוא על הצדיקים – That’s good. When Hashem gets angry at you, that’stov, that’s good for you. Don’t ask for it though. You ask for good times. הרחב פיך ואמלאהו, ask Him for good times and appreciate what He’s giving you. But still, “when Hashem shows his anger to thetzadikim, that’s better than the smiling Hashem does on thereshaim.” (Shabbos 30b) If there ever happened that atzadik,chalilahhad a setback, a misfortune, so you must know, and he must know, that it’s a stroke of good fortune. Now I know that it’s very hard to accept, but we have to learn that and understand that it’s achesed gadolwhen that happens to him.Tov, it’s better, it’s a greaterhatzlachathan had Hashem smiled.ברוע פנים ייטב לב, When the face is sad then the heart becomes better (ibid.). Now it doesn’t mean you should be sad and sour faced. On the contrary – if you’re sad faced it shows that you don’t appreciate what Hashem is doing for you. You don’t appreciate that things aretov. But sometimes a man against his will is sad because some misfortune has happened to him, so he should know however that ייטב לב, hisneshamais improving.DON’T TAKE THE WRONG MEDICINESo when Hashem sends you a headache, you have to know that it was for a great purpose. And if you take an aspirin, and after one day the headache goes away,and you never cried out to Hashem, so you wasted the prescription. You’ve wasted an opportunity! The purpose was for you to become Aware of Hashem, and you wasted the glorious opportunity.And so when we ask Hashem “Yehiratzon, let it be Your will that I be healed,” we are not telling Hakadosh Baruch Hu tochange His will.Yehi ratzonmeans this: “Hashem, I know that what You want from me is that I should become more Aware of You. And that’s what I’m doing now; I’m calling out to you. Let it be Your will that I can get better now – or mytzaarshould be removed, whatever it is you’re asking for –becauseI’m calling out to You. I’m becoming more aware of You. Whatever trouble You gave me, can go away now because I’ve achieved the purpose.”WHEN HASHEM DOESN’T ANSWERNow the truth is that sometimes you cry out to Hashem and He doesn’t answer. A man called me on the telephone and he tells me: He’s crying out and crying out, and there’s no answer. He wants to know what he’s supposed to think.He’s supposed to think thatHakadosh Boruch Huwants him to cry out even more. And suppose he cries out even more – let’s say a man is on his deathbed, he’s an old man, 119 years old, he can’t expect to live much more. But still he cries out on his deathbed. Did he waste his time? No! He achieved maybe in his last minutes more than he did in his whole life.119 YEARS IS NOT ENOUGH?!An old man is crying out on his deathbed, he says “Oh, Hashem, heal me!” “Oh it’s silly,” you’ll say. The bystanders think it’s ridiculous. “You want to be healed?! How long do you want to hang around here?! The children want to take over the business already, they want the “old man” out of the way already. 119 years is not enough?! No, for him it’s not enough. When you’re on your deathbed it’s never enough. He wants to live a thousand years. Why shouldn’t he? He has a great grandfather who lived almost a thousand years. Mesushelach lived almost a thousand years so why can’t he?So he’s crying out to Hashem. Why not? He has the right to cry out. And when he finally takes his last breath don’t think he didn’t accomplish with the crying out. He accomplished plenty.The crying out is the purpose.That’s the biggest achievement there is. So nobody is ever frustrated in hisdavenenwhen he’s not answered – because he has gained the most important thing, more Awareness of Hashem.DISCOVERING WINEMAKINGIt’s like a man who has a very good vineyard. He has blue-blooded grapes, good quality grapes “with ayichus, with a pedigree.” So when he takes his grapes to the wine press and he presses out the wine, it’s a pity to take that mash, the residue, and throw it away.So he decides to press it a little more; he takes that mash and presses it some more. He puts them on the wine press and gives akvetch. And a little more good wine squirts out. But it’s not enough for him. He says, “I can’t leaveanywine inside the peel. Maybe there’s some more good wine in there. So he puts it under the press again and puts some more pressure to get out the last drop.Now you have to know thatweare the good grapes and Hashem wants to press from usall the yiras Hashemthat He could get– for our own benefit. He wants to squeeze out some more “good wine of Awareness” from us because from good grapes you try to squeeze out all that you can.THE SOUL OF GOOD GRAPESAnd so Hakodosh Boruch Hu is pressing us with all kinds of pressure. One pressure might be trouble withparnasa, another might be trouble with your children, or trouble having children,chas v’shalom. And when you cry out to Hashem, that’s the good wine, the good wine of Awareness of Hashem dripping from the good grapes of yourneshamah. When your heart is torn with anguish, and you turn to Hashem for His help; you weep and you pour out your heart intefillah,that’sthe good wine that Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants from you. And sometimes He might press you again and again, and the good grapes will keep on giving good wine.Until finally Hashem will say, “Enough! You achieved exactly what I wanted from you.” And now רצון יראיו יעשה ואת שועתם ישמע ויושיעם – it means that Hakodosh Boruch Hu does the will of those who continue to grow in Awareness of Him, but first they have to cry out to Him.Shavasammeans that they cry out. They cry out! “Oh,” says Hashem, “If that’s the case, if you’re crying out to Me, so you’re becoming Aware of Me. So now, ויושיעם- “Now I’ll help you. Once you cried out, once you perfected yourself in Awareness of Hashem, so now I’ll answer you.”SO IT WASN’T FINE PRINT AFTER ALL!And that leads us to the answer that we were searching for in the beginning of our talk. Hakodosh Boruch Hu had given us His word at thebris bein hab’sarim; He caused Hisshechinato pass through thebesarim, the halves of the animals, and swore to Avraham that He would take us out of Mitzrayim. So how is it that now He could he make our geulahdependenton our crying out to Him? Is not the word of Hashem imperishable?!דבר אלוקינו יקום לעולם – “The word of Hashem stands forever” (Yeshayah 40:8).And so we’ll study again the words of Hashem to Avraham Avinu. ועבדום וענו אותם – “And they will enslave them, and oppress them” (Bereishis 15:13) The word וענו, “and they will oppress,” you must know actually means “and they will cause you to cry out.” The wordani, a poor or afflicted man, actually means “the man that cries out,” from the rootanah, “to speak up.” Thegemara(Bava Basra 10a) tells us that “the poor man is beloved by Hashem,” becausehe cries outto Hashem in his affliction, and he therefore becomes more Aware of Him.And so we have to say that the וענו אותם that Hashem promised us, thetzarosthat Hashem foretold would come upon us in Mitzrayim,were intended specifically for the Bnei Yisroel to reach greater and greater heights of Awareness of Hashem. That was its purpose. And how? By means of the עינוי, by means of them calling out to Him and thereby becoming more Aware of Him and of their dependence on Him.PREPARING US TO BECOME HASHEM’S PEOPLEHashem had brought the afflictions on the Am Yisroelfor the purposeof causing them to cry out to Him. He was preparing us inMitzrayimto become “My people,” and the oppression was His plan of conferring upon us the perfection of crying out to Him. The heavy affliction caused a great and unceasing outcry, which resulted in a heightened Awareness of Hashem. It was this keen Awareness which made them My people,and now the covenant with the Avos could be triggered, and become effective, in causing their deliverance from Mitzrayim.And until they would reach those heights, that achievement of Awareness, then the ועבדום might have been fulfilled, but the וענו אותם – “And I will cause them to oppress you until you cry out to Me,” would still be missing.In reality the entire bondage and affliction were intended to be stimulation towards the outcry to Hashem, and toward the achievement of a greater Awareness of Hashem, which would be demonstrated by their outcry to Him.PHARAOH, HASHEM’S WINEMAKERAnd if we wouldn’t have cried out to Hashem we would have remained there forever. Absolutely we wouldn’t have come out ofMitzrayim.Hashem said, “You have to cry out to Me if you want to get the salvation.” And that’s why Hashem applied pressure. When He saw that they were not crying enough so He told Pharaoh, “Get busy and apply a little more pressure to the wine press.” So all of a sudden Pharaoh comes out with a new decree: “Up till now you were making bricks and I supplied the hay, the straw. Now you go look for the straw by yourself.” That’s a double job. In addition to making bricks all day long, in your lunch hour, in your three minute lunch hour, go and look for straw too. Because את מתכונת הלבנים, the same amount of bricks has to be supplied, the same count of bricks you must continue to give.Now that’s putting pressure on the wine press with a vengeance!Even when they cried out, Hashem pressed more on the good grapes. So the Bnei Yisroel cried out more. And that’s what Hakadosh Boruch Hu wanted. “Ahh, my children. You remember Me now. You’re aware that I’m in existence – you know about Me now.” It’s like a man who is carrying his child on his shoulders – and this child was so happy riding on high; he thoughthewas the tall one. So he started kicking with his feet, kicking his father in the chest with his feet, he was so happy.So the father saw now that his son was not aware of him anymore, his child was riding on high. So when the father saw a dog coming, he put the child down near the dog, “Oh, Poppy, Poppy, save me.” “Oh,” the father said, “So I’m a Poppy now.”And so even after Hakodosh Boruch Hu took the Bnei Yisroel out from Mitzrayim, He was afraid –afraidfor them-that they might forget about Him. He took them out of Egypt, so it’s all over now. Now they can stop crying. So ויבוא עמלק – And Amalek came (Shemos 17:8). So they cried out to Hashem. “Oh,” Hashem said, “I’m still around, huh?!” Because that’s the arrangement of Hakodosh Boruch Hu in this world. It wasn’t a one-time event, in Mitzrayim. Forever and ever the plan of Hashem is to press the good grapes of the Am Yisroel a little bit more. And our job is to always utilize the opportunities and not make it necessary for the wine press to be pressed even harder.BE SMART AND DON’T WAITLet’s remember always that there aremadreigosandmadreigosin persecution – and wise is the man who will use all of them, even the smallest misfortune, to improve, by calling out to Hashem and becoming more Aware of Him.So you’re standing in your store and no customers are coming in. Why are you wasting the great opportunity?! You have to cry out to Hashem, “Ribono Shel Olam!Please give me some customers!” And those opportunities are endless, because all day long there are bumps in the road. Just because there’s no taskmaster standing over you with a whip, doesn’t mean you can’t use the opportunities oftza’arin your life – the smallest things and the biggest things – to call out to Hashem.YOU ARE STANDING IN A GOLD MINE!I’ll tell you something else. Don’t let yourshemonah esreigo to waste! You mean to say you’re going to spend your years just mumbling yourtefillosevery day by rote and not thinking about Hakadosh Baruch Hu?!?Shemonah esreiis a gold mine. And when you’re standing in a gold mine, even if you grab only one handful you’re already a wealthy man. But you have to know how to grab! כל שאינו אומרה בלשון תחנונים – “If you’re not begging Hashem for mercy, if you’re not crying out and begging, so your tefillah is not a tefillah” (Brachos 29b). When you daven, you have to daven כרש המבקש בפתח, like a poor man begging at the door of a rich man (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 89:3). He’s talking here about a man without shoes, he’s hungry and cold, and he’s begging for something to eat. That’s a man who knows how to cry out! And that’s howwe’resupposed to daven.Now we can’t ask too much of you, but when you standshemonah esreiat least onebrachahfrom the gold mine you can choose to sayb’tachanunim. For one thing at least you can cry out to Hashem instead of running through the words. You have a cold? “R’faeinu Hashem, v’neirafei!”Cry out! Trouble withparnasah? Cry out, “Bareich aleinu!” There’s fighting in the house, machlokes with the neighbor?Sim shalom! Don’t just mumble the words to yourself; cry out to Hashem! At least in your mind you should be crying out; it should be a cry of the mind up to Hashem.And sometimes things get even more difficult. And what that means is that Hashem wants even more Awareness from you. When things are going hard withparnasah, so you get desperate – you were hoping this job would work out, or maybe this deal would go through – but nothing is going, you’re at your wit’s end! So what happens? בלית ברירה, you have no choice – your rich uncle won’t take your phone calls, the bank won’t lend you any more money, and welfare won’t pay the bills. So you have to cry out to Hashem. Ohh, that’s ahatzlacha– that’s more important than yourparnasah!LET’S LEARN FROM IYOV’S MISTAKENow, I want to expand this subject a little more. Because once we understand that the purpose of tefillah is Awareness of Hashem, so you’ll see that we’re not talking only abouttefillahwhen somethingalreadyhappened; I’m also talking abouttefillahthat itshouldn’thappen.Tefillah koidem l’tzarah, how important that is! When you falltachanun, you fall on your arm aftershemonahesrei, so it’stachanunim, you’re entreating Hashem for mercy.Rachum v’Chanun– “Hashem, You’re the Merciful One.”השם אל באפך תוכיחני – “Please Hashem, don’t rebuke me in Your anger,” ואל בחמתך תיסרני – Please don’t chastise me in Your wrath.” So you might think that thiskepitelis for Dovid maybe; he was in trouble so he was calling out, that’s why he said those words. No, don’t make that mistake; it’s for us! And we’re saying itso there shouldn’t come trouble. We want to be wise enough to call out to Hashem before thetzaraheven comes.Why waitchalilah? Maybe it’ll be too late then. You remember howIyovwas in trouble,gehokte tzaros. He lost his sons; he lost his daughters. He lost everything; he even lost his health. And he was sitting on a garbage pile; this wealthy man now didn’t have a home at all – he was sitting on the dunghill of the city and he was scratching his wounds. The puss was dripping from his wounds and he was scratching the itching wounds with a piece of broken pottery. Imagine the scene. It’sIyov, the “great richIyov,” sitting on a dunghill, with a piece of a broken pot scratching his itching wounds. He couldn’t even afford a salve to heal himself!So his friends came to visit him, hischaveirimwho knew him in his good days. And one of them said to him as follows: היערוך שועך ולא בצר – Did you set forth your outcrybeforeyou were in distress?” You hear that?! היערוך, “Did you set forth your outcry to Hashem, did you arrange yourtefillos, לא בצר,beforethe trouble came upon you?” (Iyov 36:19).That’s what he said toIyov: “Did you cry out to Hashembeforeyou were in trouble?” It was the good old days, when you could criticize a man who was suffering and he’d listen.THINK AHEADNow, I don’t know what the answer is; we don’t know whatIyovanswered his friends. Maybe he did. But we see what thegemarasays about that:לעולם יקדים אדם תפילה לצרה – “A man should always say his prayersbeforehe needs something, before the troubles set in” (Sanhedrin 44b). That’s a real sign ofyiras Hashem. The real sign of Awareness of Hashem is when you are always aware ofwhat could be– so many things could go wrong in a man’s life – and you cry out to Hashem so that He should save you from them all. Because that’s the system that Hakadosh Baruch Hu set up for mankind. That’s His prescription for the world. So if a man says to Hashem “Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I’m going to cry out to You even when there’s no trouble,” so that man is filling his prescription ofyiras Hashemin the best way possible.And Hashem says, “I’m satisfied – as long as you cry out. But to not cry out at all? I might have to give you a reason to cry out.The last year of his life, tragedy struck. His beloved grandson, Reb Yisroel Miller, was killed when his car collided with a bus while on the way to the Kosel with his bar mitzvah son. The news hit Rav Miller like a hammer blow. Living as he did in close proximity to his grandfather, Sruly had the opportunity to serve hiszeidein various ways and became close to him. From his youngest years, Sruly had learned privately with him. At theshivah, Rav Miller expressed his pain, telling the family, “I feel I should be sittingshivahhere along with you.” When his daughter asked him for a practical lesson the family could derive from the tragedy, Rav Miller responded that he felt that his dailytefillosfor his children and grandchildren were becoming habitual, so he needed to add more fervor when he beseeched Hashem to protect them. He suggested to his children to add morekavanahwhen they recited theberachahofHashkiveinu. (Rav Avigdor Miller – His Life and His Revolution p. 253)And so we say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, “Hashem, please don’t give me any headaches. And from now on I’m going to ask You as much as I can to save me from headaches.” “Oh,” Hashem says. “That’s a deal that I like. As long as you’re aware of Me; as long as you ask Me every day to protect you from illness, then I don’t have to give you any illness. Of course if you’ll let down your side of the bargain, if you start saying the words only out of habit, so sometimes I’ll have to remind you. Sometimes a little headache I’ll send again so that you should call out to Me with more sincerity.”THE BEST TIME FOR PRAYERAnd so we are never telling Hakadosh Baruch Hu to change His will. Who are we to tell Hashem what’s good for us?! Let’s say, He prescribed a person should have to be in a hospital. Maybe He prescribed a person should have to lose his jobchalilahor have trouble with one of his childrenchasv’shalom. So we say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu beforehand, before he fills the prescription, “May it be Your will that I shouldn’t have to ever go into a hospital – except to visit my wife when she has a baby.”“Yehi ratzon m’lifanechahthat I shouldn’t have any problems with my boss, and that I should have my job for as long as I want it.” “Ribono Shel Olam, please keep my children on thederech hayashar, thederech hatorah.”The best time to cry out to be saved is when everything is well! It’s important for you young people to think about that. You’re healthy?! Cry out to Hakodosh Boruch Hu that you should stay well! Your children are well?! Cry out to Hashem, “Ribono Shel Olam, please! It shouldn’t come upon me or anyone in my family what happened to that man in shul!”Parnasahis good? Cry out to Hakodosh Boruch Hu! Suddenly things couldchas v’shalomhappen. Out of nowhere things happen!When you say ושמור צאתינו ובואינו לחיים טובים ולשלום – “Hashem, guard our going out and our coming back, for good life and peace” (Birkas Kriyas Shema – Maariv) you should be saying it with an outcry. At least in your mind it should be ותעל שועתם אל האלוקים. Who knows what could happen on the road once you walk outside?! On the streets, people are speeding in cars through the streets. And sometimes the car jumps the curb onto the sidewalk where people walk. Who knows what could happen?! You cross by a building and suddenly a facade of the building, it’s been hanging on for twenty-five, thirty years, a big chunk of cement falls loose and starts coming down. It’s very important that you should be a few inches out of the way. And that’s what yourtefillahcan accomplish.I DON’T WANT ANY SPECIALISTSWhen you walk down Ocean Avenue so you see signs. A doctor specializing in this, a different doctor specializing in this, a doctor specializing in something else. It’s no accident that you saw those signs today. Look how many things they specialize in! It’s a reminder to cry out! Look how many problemscould happen. Even one thing wrong and you have to go to a big specialistchas v’shalom.Sometimes you have to go to Manhattan and it costs a load of money. And then some people get a diagnosis, the dreaded diagnosis.Ay yah yay, the terrible news. And now thetzarosbegin. And there are so many things that could go wrong, it’s endless. So cry out nowkoideml’tzarah: “Ribono Shel Olam, please save me from that dreaded disease” – I don’t want to say it, it starts with a C.And when you pass by the shingle hanging on the next building, let it be a reminder of anothertzarahthat you don’t want to come upon you. I recommend that – walk by one of these fancy streets where there are a lot of doctor signs and practice up on crying out to Hashembefore the troubles come!You pass by a big drug store – all kinds of medicines, creams, drops, with long names for different problems. Bargain prices! So cry out, “Hashem, please I should never need this type of medicine for kidney failure.” You know what it means tonothave a working kidney? It’sgehenim! Cry out to Hashem, “Ribono Shel Olam, please keep my kidneys working. I don’t want to be hooked up to a kidney machine; I want to be able to empty my bladder on my own, in my own bathroom, not in a hospital room.”THERE’S NO CHESS IN THIS HOMEEven when you pass a funeral parlor, you should cry out. You know, if you’ll take a walk with me down Ocean Avenue, we’ll pass three separate funeral parlors. Funeral “homes” they call it. They want you to think maybe that they’re inside there playing chess, or reading the newspapers!No, he’s laying in a plain wooden box, that’s all. So every time you pass by the funeral parlor, you can cry out to Hashem, “Please keep me alive. Please give me good health andarichas yomim; I want to stay for a long time outside of this home.” You have to cry out to Hashem with intensity!You know what a tragedy it is when people have to beg Hakodosh Boruch Hu for peaceafterthe war has already begun? I’m talking about domestic peace, peace in the home. You should be crying out to Hashem all the time, during the times of peace – especially when there’s peace. There shouldn’t be any “war” in your household. And that there should be peace in the households of your sons and daughters. You ask Hashem, “Please don’t let my telephone ring with bad news.”Sometimes a daughter calls up,chalilah, she’s having a fight with her husband. She wants to leave him.Ay yah yay,the tragedy of a broken home. Don’t wait! When it’s quiet on all fronts, your daughters are quiet with their husbands. Nobody’s complaining – maybe they are, but not to you. You hear nothing from your children. That’s wonderful, thegreat peace ofshalombayis. And that’s when you should cry out to Hashem, that He should continue to keep peace in your home and the homes of your children.HASHEM, SAVE ME FROM BLINKING TOO MUCHAnd if you don’t have any litigation with your neighbors, that’s the best time todaven. If you never went through that, you’re a lucky man, and you want to keep it that way. Troublewith neighbors, fighting and recriminations, going to court; it’s alltzaros. A man used to come in here. He used to come here and he was blinking all the time. I saw that the man was very nervous. And so I spoke to him and he told me he has constant legal trouble with neighbors. Jewish neighbors. About the driveway, about this and about that,and it got so acute that he was dragged into the court again and again. That’stzaros.And so we ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu,שלום רב על ישראלעמך תשים – “Great peace in every area of our lives you should put upon us.”“Please Hashem. There should be peace inside of our stomachs. Our stomach shouldn’t complain, shouldn’t growl, shouldn’t groan. Our nerves shouldn’t complain, our head shouldn’t complain.” The body has a lot to say, and when the body is quiet and it’s peace all throughout the body, people aren’t grateful. You don’t realize how lucky you are. Your brain is getting good messages from all parts of the body. Constantly. You’re not aware of the messages. When do you become aware? When even once the messages are not good. Even if one pinprick somewhere on your skin is taking place, it’s relayed to your brain and you’re acutely aware of it. And so, when nothing is happening, it’sshalom. It’s complete tranquility on all fronts. From your toes to the scalp of your head, it’s quiet on all fronts.And when all is quiet, that’s the best opportunity to cry out to Hashem that it should remain quiet.THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO YOUOnly that when you call out to Hashem before thetzarah,it has to be with the same intensity as during atzarah. The same Awareness of Hashem you have to accomplish in the good times! If you would think even a little bit about whattzarosdoes to a person, hospitals, and bills, and litigation, and so much pain and anguish! Cry out to Hakodosh Boruch Hu that it shouldn’t happen! At all times you should be crying out.And don’t think it’s excessive what I’m telling you now. You can never ask enough for Hashem to help you, becauseyou can never be too Aware of Hashem! Because what we’ve learned from ourparshais thatwe’re in this world primarily to become Aware of Hashem.That’s our perfection! The more we call out to Him the more ourneshamosare being purified.And therefore, usually we have two choices: You can become Aware of Him while He’s still giving you good things – while you’re healthy, while your wife and children are healthy, while you still haveparnasah, and so on and so forth – by crying out to Him and entreating Him that everything should remain as is; that’s the best way to squeeze out from the good grapes the wine of Awareness of Hashem.THANK YOU FOR ALL THE TROUBLES!However, in this world, Hakodosh Boruch Hu will always press the good grapes of theAm Yisroellike He did inMitzrayim; there’s always some more wine of Awareness to squeeze from you that you haven’tkvetchedout on your own. And so Hashem says, “It pays to give you trouble because the gain, the benefit for you when you’re thinking about Me, is the greatest of benefits. And when you come to the Next World, you’ll say, אודך השם כי אנפת בי – “I thank You Hashem for causing me that pain, for giving me thistza’aror thattza’ar, because it made me call out to You. And it was the crying out in that world that gave me the greatest success, Awareness of You, Hashem, so that I can bask forever in the Presence of Yourshechinah.” HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. There is much overhead to maintain this service so please help us continue our goal of helping Jewish lecturers become podcasters and support us with a donation: https://thechesedfund.com/jewishpodcasts/donate

THE GREAT MAN IS BORNIn this week’sparshawe are introduced for the first time to one of the greatest men in our history: ותהר האשה ותלד בן – And Yocheved gave birth to a son (Shemos 2:1). Moshe ben Amram is born into the Jewish nation, a handsome baby boy. ותרא אותו כי טוב הוא – His mother saw thatki tov hu, that he was good looking (Shemos 2:2). She didn’t see that he was good natured, or that he was smart. You can’t see that in a baby! She saw that he was handsome; a beautiful child.And that’s almost all that we know about this little boy.And yet only a fewpesukimlater Moshe, already an elderly sage of eighty years, is being granted a vision of the glory of Hashem at the burning bush: וירא מלאך השם אליו בלבת אש – And a messenger of Hashem appeared to him in a flame of fire (Shemos 3:2). And suddenly this adorable little boy, now a man of eighty, is chosen to be the redeemer of the Am Yisroel.THE MYSTERY OF MOSHENow it would be proper for us to consider the story of Moshe’s life, and to study how Moshe ben Amram became Moshe Rabeinu; what was his path to success? After all, he was the man who took us out ofMitzrayimand led us for forty years in themidbar. He spent forty days and forty nights with Hakodosh Boruch Hu; he spoke to Hashempeh el peh,and brought down the Torah to the Am Yisroel. There was no man greater than he.And not only was he one of the most remarkable men in the history of our nation, but more importantly, he is one the great models that we aspire to emulate. The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva 5:2) says that! He says that we should all aspire to be like Moshe Rabeinu: כל אדם ראוי להיות צדיק כמשה רבינו– “Every person is fit to be righteous like Moshe Rabeinu.” Now, you’ll never become anavilike Moshe was, but everyone of us was born with the talents needed to become atzadiklike Moshe, and therefore it is incumbent upon us to probe the life of this great man to find the seeds of his greatness.And yet when we begin to investigate his life we are stymied by a most peculiar fact. Moshe Rabeinu, an eighty year old man, seemingly appears out of thin air; the redeemer of the Am Yisroel appears on the scene and we know almost nothing about him: We’re not told what made him great and why he was chosen or what paths ofavodas Hashemdid he walk on for eighty years that made him the one chosen to redeem the Am Yisroel. How did theish Mitzribecome theish ha’Elokim, the only man who would ever to speak to Hashempeh el peh, mouth to mouth?HE ESCAPES AND TURNS EIGHTYOf course, we are all familiar with a few shortpesukimabout his early days; he was brought up in the palace of Pharaoh and then was forced to flee for his life when he defended a fellow Jew by killed aMitzri. But besides for that we know almost nothing. Moshe Rabeinu turns up many decades later at the burning bush in the mountains of Midian, having been chosen by Hashem to redeem His people.And I’ll tell you achidddushnow – even the one incident we know of this great man, how he went out from the palace to save his fellow Jew, is told to primarily us to let us know that we know very very little about Moshe. Of course, there are other important things we learn about Moshe from there as well – and we’ll talk about that one day. But the primary purpose of thosepesukimis to introduce the story ofhis having to flee.The little we know of him, only comes to tell us that we actually know very little about this great man.ISOLATION AND SOLITUDEHe was forced to flee for his life into the lonely wilderness, and he became a wanderer in exile. Don’t think it was easy for him – it was a lonely life, no contact with his people, no family and no friends. And after many years, his wandering led him to Midian. And even there how did he spend his days? As a shepherd, alone in the mountains of Midian, grazing the sheep of Yisro. That’s what the Torah tells us about his years in Midian. He spent his days alone in themidbaras a shepherd pasturing the flocks. ומשה היה רעה את צאן יתרו חתנו כהן מדין וינהג את הצאן אחר המדבר – “And Moshe was pasturing the sheep of Yisro his father-in-law and he led his flock toward the wilderness” (Shemos 3:1). Moshe spent his days – it was months andyears– in solitude in the remote pastures of loneliness.So what we’re seeing here now is a picture of a nomad, a lonely wanderer forforty years. Forty years is a long time to be alone! And besides for a few small incidents, that’s all we are told about how Moshe became Moshe Rabeinu. That’s all we know about him, that he wandered through the wilderness alone.And so we’ll have to say that it was there,shepherding sheep in the isolation of the wilderness, that Moshe achieved the greatness that earned for him his place in history. It is evident that this had been the plan of Hashem – to separate this promising and gifted man from his family and send him into the wilderness and lonely wasteland of Midian and Sinai. And this was all tokeep him in solitude.Solitude wasn’t merely an episode in his career; it was the cause of his careerand it readied him to become the greatest man in history. By separating him from his family and bykeeping him in solitude,HakodoshBoruchHuwas creating the future leader of the Am Yisroel.And so that is what we will attempt to study now; the strange fact that Moshe Rabeinu spent most of his formative years – years that we would have imagined would be spent under the tutelage oftzadikimandovdei Hashem– and instead they were years spent alone, separate from his fellow Jews, and often isolated from Mankind all together. So what was the plan of Hashem over here? What kind of environment was this for Moshe Rabeinu? Now, I’m too small to be able to answer these questions – but I have the right to try to guess.CONSIDER THE ADVANTAGES OF LONELINESSAnd so in order to appreciate more fully this plan of Hashem, we should endeavor to study this step by step; what is it about solitude that can make a person so great. We’ll begin by reading a selection from theChovos Halevavos.TheChovos Halevavoshas asha’arcalledCheshbon Hanefesh,which means “thinking” and he suggests certain duties that we’re expected to think about, thirty different ideas. He says there are many more but he suggests thirty of them. It’skidaito study them all, but tonight we’ll study some ofcheshbonnumber seventeen.He says as follows: What should a man think about when he has an urge to seek the company of people? It means when he feels lonesome; let’s say it’smotza’ei Shabbos,the family went out to visit the relatives in Boro Park and he’s left all alone in the house. He looks through the window and he sees cars crowded with people speeding to some destination. And he imagines their fun times ahead. Or let’s say he’s stuck in the yeshiva onmotza’ei Shabbos– he’s an out of town boy and everybody else is at home with their families and he’s left alone in his dormitory room. Or he’s just an unfortunate fellow who didn’t marry and he’s all by himself wherever he is. And he yearns for the company of people.And so this man is thinking about how much fun it would be to be together with people. So what does the Chovos Halevavos tell him: “At that time let him consider the advantages of solitude and how good it is to be separate from peoplebecause of the harm that comes from their company.” The Chovos Halevavos is telling us here the most basic benefit of solitude – if you associate with people who have littleyiras Hashem, or maybe they have wrong ideas, so they poison your mind. There’s no question that you’re going to cause certain defects in your mind and in your character.FOOLS ARE MORE COMMON THAN WISE MENOf course, he doesn’t mean the company oftalmideichachomim; he means ordinary people, thechevrashakesilim, the company of fools. But the truth is that wise men are often hard to find. Most often it is among the fools that you find yourself. And so he tells us, the first thing to consider is the harm that comes from the fools and the great benefit that you can accrue therefore by merely avoiding their company.Now, sometimes you can’t help yourself; you have to visit your in-laws sometimes, so you have to sit and listen to their chatter. And so you’ll have to act like you enjoy it. Or maybe for business, you’re in an office or a store, and you have customers and coworkers who like to chew the rag, so you have to act like they’re saying something very wise, as if you’re interested in their idle chatter. But outside of that, a person should always think about the dangers of thechevrah ra’ah,of bad company.WOULD YOU CHOOSE UNCLE HARRY TO BE YOUR REBBE?For instance much harm is accrued to a man from merely superfluous talk, from shooting the breeze. So you’ll tell me, “What’s so bad about talking about the news, about sports and about the neighborhood? I know it won’t make me atzadik, but harmful?!” Yes, superfluous talk isin itselfan injury to a man: TheChovos Halevavossays that you should avoid the yakking of other, למען אשר לא יביאום הבלי חביריהם לההביל גם הם כמותם, in order that the superficiality, the emptiness of your associates should not bring you to become empty too.When you’re together with ordinary, empty people, you become ordinary too. He’s talking here aboutfrumpeople.Theirtzitzisare out and they haveblack hats.There are manyfrumpeople who areempty,and therefore if you’ll associate with people, you’ll come down to their level and you’ll become empty too.“I’ll become empty too?” you’ll ask me. How’s that?” So pay good attention because I’m telling you now one of the unrecognized dangers that comes from listening to superfluous talk – it causes the listener to think along with the talker, or rather tounthinkalong with the talker. And so, as the “words of wisdom” come gushing forth from Uncle Harry’s mouth – he’s talking without any planning after all – so your mind is following what he is saying. You’re a respectful person after all, so you’re listening, you’re concentrating. And all the inanities, all the thoughtlessness of his conversation, is being repeated by you in your mind. That’s what happens when you listen to anyone – the words are being replayed in your own head. So Uncle Harry just became your “rebbi.” And he just filled your mind with “He said,” and “She said,” “We said,” “I said,” and “They said.” And it’s a long confusion that merely fills up your head with nothing at all – something for which there is no need. And that’s one way easy of ruining your mind.And even with good people, decent people, but if they’re people who live more or less with materialism – and it’s something you find a lot of today –they hardly ever think about Hakodosh Boruch Hu – so you should know that they’re going to drag you down to their level.It’s contagious.Wrong attitudes and wicked ideas are contagious.Now, you wouldn’t sit together with people who have pneumonia or the flu and they’re coughing and sneezing in your face, that you understand. You get upset if someone is “so kind” as to share his germs with you. That kind of sharing you have no interest in. You’ll keep away from him or at least you’ll tell him to cover his mouth. And you have to know that often, the words coming from a person’s mouth can be much worse than pneumonia.THE SINS OF CONVERSATIONAnd as if that wasn’t enough trouble, the Chovos Halevavos quotes thechochominMishleiand says even more: ברוב דברים לא יחדל פשע – “In a multitude of words there cannot be absent any iniquity” (10:19) There’s no question,Mishleitells us, that when people talk voluminous they are going to commit sins. It’s not even a question!Lo yechdal peshah,it’s impossible to avoid it. It’s not even easy to avoid sins when you choose your words, but when you open your mouth and turn on the faucet, then there’s no question thatloyechdal peshah.That’s thepossukinMishlei. I’ll just add now my own observation: You can imagine when you sit down on a bench in the courtyard of your apartment house with a neighbor or a friend, and four hours elapse in conversation. And you’re not silent during that time. It’s lively, it’s gushing, pouring forth. In those four hours you can imagine how many timespeshahwas committed. But of course if you don’t think about that; so you blindly and “innocently” continue to producepesha’im. It’s like the man who blindly and “innocently” drives his automobile off a cliff. It’s a disaster.Now we go back to the Chovos Halevavos: “And by avoiding such company you’ll avoid speaking against people and mentioning faults of people and ridiculing people.” Because that’s what people do when they sit and have nothing else to do. They talk about other people. And finally when the whole conversation is used up, and he already spoke about everybody that he could, so he begins picking his relatives apart. It’s apossukin Tehillim, תשב באחיך תדבר – “You sit and you talk against your brother, ובבן אמך תתן דופי, and against the son of your own mother you impute foolishness” (50:20) And when somebody will say, “What are you saying against your own brother?” you say, “It’s my own brother! I don’t mean any harm.” No harm?! You just blackened your brother and made him look as silly as possible.YOU’LL SIN MORE AND MOREAnd also lies. Talking brings to sheker; big lies, little lies,lo yimaleit.The more you speak,the more you’ll benichshalin the opposite ofemes. Because in order to make your stories interesting, you have to embellish them at least a little bit with stories, with details that never took place. You don’t intend to lie, but still you want your listener to be interested, he shouldn’t be bored by you. And so, you utilize stories and facts that never took place.And so that’s how it is when you’re around people. When you’re with people so you don’t control yourself.Your tongue wags and wags.You say whatever comes into your mind.You’re “forced” to do itbecause youhaveto saysomethingwhen people are around. So you say all kinds of things, and all kinds of trouble happen. You’ll sin and sin some more, and your mind will be dragged down to the lowest common denominator of your conversations. It’s a fact that’s proven all the time, every day, in everyone’s life – and therefore the more you avoidchevra ra’ah, wrong company, the better off you are.SOLITUDE: THE MOST PRECIOUS OF ALL THINGSHowever, important as that is, we’re not going to say that Hakodosh Boruch Hu sent Moshe Rabeinu out into the solitude of the Midian wilderness just for that. Avoidingaveirosand superfluous talk, that’s very important – it’s a diamond on its own –but Hakodosh Boruch Hu had much more in mind for Moshe Rabeinu.Because actually there is a much more profound benefit of solitude, something much more than merely avoidingcheit; and it isthatbenefit that made Moshe Rabeinu the great man that he became. And that’s what we’ll study now.Now, in order to better understand thema’alas hahisbodedus,the great benefit of solitude, we will study a piece from theMesillas Yesharim(Chapter 15). You should pay close attention to the following because this statement we’re going to read now is a diamond; only that you have to be amaiven, a connoisseur, in order to appreciate such a gem. He says like this:ויקר מן הכל, the most precious of all things, הוא ההתבודדות, is solitude, to spend time by yourself.Now, it doesn’t have to be all day long butsometime a person must make for himself. And he says that doing so is יקר מן הכל, it’s more precious than anything else! You’re hearing something now! He doesn’t say that it’s also a good thing, and not even that it’s precious – but it’s “more precious than anything else!” Solitude!THE KING WISHES TO ESCAPEAnd theMesillas Yesharimcontinues: וכבר הזכיר דוד המלך בשבח ההתבודדות, Dovid Hamelech spoke words of high praise when speaking of this quality of solitude.He said: מי יתן לי אבר כיונה – “If only I had wings like a dove, אעופה ואשכונה, I would fly far away and reside somewhere in a lonesome place.ארחיק נדד, I would wander off and be alone, אלין במדבר סלה, I would remain in the wilderness; I would make that my place forever.”So here is Dovid Hamelech sitting in his palace surrounded by people, surrounded by his advisors and friends, he had a lot of admirers as well, all good things – he’s living the good life – and yet what do we find? That he’s yearning to be in the wilderness! Now that’s a big question because what was Dovid doing up there in the wilderness anyhow? What did he yearn to go back for already? He had everything he wanted!MOSHE RABEINU DOESN’T NEED THE MOVIESAnd of course, for us it’s a good question because when we think about being alone in the wilderness it doesn’t seem so enjoyable. If we would go hide away in the mountains, with nobody else, with nothing to do, we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves.Many people are not capable of enjoying their own company and therefore it’s impossible for them to be happy unless something comes in to cause them to remove their mind from the present. If you would bring a good novel with you into the wilderness, or maybe a portable television, OK, then we’re talking. But that’s not solitude – that just means they have nothing in their heads and so they’re always trying to fill that vacuum with something. Those are the type of people who line up in front of the movies waiting to be admitted. These are people who can’t live with themselves! They always have to go someplace where something is “happening.” Their lives are so empty of happiness that they’ll stand in line and pay admission for something that is a substitute for happiness. And what type of happiness is it? When they leave the movies the money remains behind, they take along nothing with them except for a mixed up head, silly unrealistic pictures that never happened and never will happen. But at least for the moment their minds were off themselves. There are a lot of people not capable of solitude.But people who want to succeed in life will train themselves to enjoy their own company. That’s what Moshe Rabeinu did for so many years. It’s what Dovid Hamelech did after him – because Dovid wanted to be great and so he studied the life of Moshe Rabeinu and chose to walk in his footsteps. And those are the people who are able to live happy and successful lives even without frequent contact with others. You know that the Gra kept his shutters closed by day. His windows were shuttered up by day so that he shouldn’t be able to look into the street and remove his mind from the business of serving Hashem.SOLITUDE FOR USBut I remember my rebbe,zichronoli’vracha, telling us that we shouldn’t do it. Because if we close the windows and shutter them, we’ll just fall asleep. We’ll take a long nap. So it depends what you’ll do in the wilderness, what are you doing when you close the shutters. If you go into solitude carrying a pillow, or a newspaper or radio under your arm; if take with you a telephone, or a little black and white television, then that’s not solitude. You’re listening to the man on the other side of the radio or the man on the television screen who’s pouring ideas into your head. You’re far from being alone if you’re reading a newspaper – you’re sitting together with the nincompoops who write for the New York Times! And so, you have to know what to do when you’re alone.And so we’ll explain as follows: Solitude doesn’t merely mean that you should be alone; it means thatyou should be alone for a purpose,for thepurpose of perfection.Solitude means being alone and being capable of using that opportunity to produce perfection of character. And the secret to this success is the realization that actuallyyou’re not alone–you’re alone with Hashem! Now that’s something to think about! When you find that time without all of the distractions of life, and now you’re finally alone, that’s when you’re finally alone with your best friend, Hakodosh Boruch Hu. Now don’t tell this to your wife – she should always think thatshe’syour best friend. But the truth is that your greatest success and happiness in this world will come from the time you spend alone and build a relationship with your true best friend, Hakodosh Boruch Hu.IT’S GOOD TO BE A BEIS YAAKOV GIRLNow I know that many people when they hear these words, it sounds extreme to them. They think I’m exaggerating. A man here said to me once, “Relationship with Hashem?! What am I – a Beis Yaakov girl?” But that’s because people don’t realize their purpose in this world. They don’t know that they’re hereonly for that – to gain a relationship with Hashem, that is tangible; an actual kirvas Hashem.It is the most noble way of perfecting oneself, of attainingshleimusand making the most out of life.And so now we can come back to the question we asked earlier: Why did Dovid yearn so much to אלין במדבר סלה, to remain alone in the wilderness forever? And the answer is because for Dovid, what was the good in life? Dovid said, קרבת אלוקים לי טוב – “Being close to Hashem, that’s what I say is good.”THE ANCIENT SHEPHERD AND HIS GOOD FRIENDDovid grew up as a shepherd and he spent his entire youth in the wilderness.And it was there, far away from the distractions and encumbrances of life, that he found it most conducive to being alone with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. There was no company around to spoil his mind, and to distract his thoughts. He was still a boy, unencumbered with a family; he had no enemies, nobody was jealous of him yet, and he had nothing to worry about. And his true greatness came there, בנאות דשה ירביציני על מי מנוחות ינהליני – when he was lying down with his sheep in the green meadows, by the still waters of the creeks.And he would take out his harp to play sweet songs in order to inspire himself to think about hisyedid nefesh,his “best friend in the world.”And it was there that he sang to Hakodosh Boruch Hu, and his soul ascended on the notes of his harp to heaven. And he became great there, behind the sheep, singing his songs to Hashem.THE COCKTAIL KEEPS THE KING UP AT NIGHTAnd it was all of those songs of love and gratitude that Dovid sang all of his life. It says it openly in Tehillim! Dovid Hamelech was up a big part of the night, every night, talking to Hashem – this we know from his own words. He said “Tov– do you know what is good in this world?L’hodosLaHashem– to give thanks to Hashem.” And he did what he said, he practiced what he sang. “U’lizamer lishimcha elyon– the only good in the world is to sing to Your name, O, Most High,” And when did he do it?All day long! “L’hagidbabokerchasdecha.” He related Hashem’s kindness in the morning when he got up and “V’emunaschaba’leilos –“And Your steadfastness to help me in the nighttime.” This means that by day and by night, that’s what Dovid was doing; he was thanking Hashem. It wasn’t for a few minutes in the morning, and another few minutes at night. That’s just what we do, as a faint echo of what Dovid did. He spent his life in solitude with Hashem, talking and thanking, thanking and talking without end.Kol zman shehaneshama b’kirbi,as long as I’m alive,Modeh ani l’fanecha, I give my thanks to You.David was busy thanking Hashem all the time. When he breathed the air, he thanked Hashem for air. Ahh, air! The very best cocktail in the world, oxygen, mixed with a little nitrogen. Dovid would breath it in deeply and then he would thank Hashem for another breath. Of course, Dovid did other things as well. He was a king, and atalmid chochomtoo. He had a lot of work on his hands. But he always found time to be alone with Hashem.THE PROPHETS AVOID PEOPLEAnd that’s why even when he sat in the palace among hischaveirim, Dovid Hamelech said: הבט ימין וראה ואין לי מכיר – “I look on my right and I see that there is nobody who knows me.” Nobody knows me! Youthinkthey know you, but no it’s only a dream. מי לי בשמים – “Whom do I have in heaven?” You, Hashem and that’s all I need.” ועמך לא חפצתי בארץ – “And together with You I don’t want anyone else in this world.” Dovid meant these words – it wasn’t just poetry – and he meant it because his time he spent alone with Hashem had brought him close to Hashem.These were the thoughts of Dovid Hamelech, his songs that he composed and sang during his years of solitude, and so later when Dovid became amelechhe yearned for those days ofkirvas Hashem.“Ah!If only I could have wings and fly back to the wilderness where I once was as a youth! And I would be alone, alone by myself, alone with Hakodosh Boruch Hu.”And that’s what the great men of our past always did – that’showthey became great. The Chovos Halevavos tells us that: והנביאים אליהו ואלישע מצאנו היות מיחדים מקומם אל ההרים, we find that thenevi’im, Eliyahu and also Elisha, they preferred to be alone on the mountains.You know, people like to mingle with others, with company, and or spend time with friends. But thenevi’imhad theoppositeattitude. It’s a remarkable thing.They avoided the company of people as much as possible.מפני התבודדותם, because of the benefit of solitude.Of course, when it was necessary they came and they preached the message of Hashem to the public.They spoke with people when it was important, but they didn’tseekthe company of people; they preferred to be in solitude – to be alone with Hashem.GREAT MEN SKIP SHULAnd the Chovos Halevavos continues: והחכמים החסידים הראשונים זכרונם לברכה, the sages, the oldchassidimof old, הלכו בעקבותיהם, they walked in the their footsteps. They followed the example of thenevi’imand they sought solitude.כי מצאו להם זה האמצעי היותר מוכן לקנות השלימות , because they found it to be the most useful means of acquiringperfection; the most useful way to acquire Awareness of Hashem, good character and self-control.That’s why there were great men in our history who went out into the wilderness, into the forests to be alone, sometimes for days. It was a sacrifice – they gave uptefillahb’tziburand other mitzvos! Everybody knows the story.TheBaal Shem Tovwent into the forest for days.Now being days in the forest means that he misseddavenenwith aminyan.So it seems; unless maybe he slipped out once in a while into thebeis knesses, but it doesn’t say that in the story. It seems like he stayed in the forest for days.And he wasn’t taking a nap on a bed of moss.He was making use of his time and he was talking; but he wasn’t talking to himself.He was talking to Somebody with a capital S.HE CLOSED HIS GEMARA WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKINGRav Simcha Zissel,zichrono levrachah, spent every night standing on his feet – all night long on his feet studyinggemara. That’s what he told the people he did, but you can suspect him of taking a little time out and talking to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.In the wee small hours when nobody was listening you can be certain that he was speaking to Hashem. You can take my word for it, he was spending time alone with Hashem, talking to him, the same way Dovid did.That’s what all of the greattzaddikimdid; it’s what we callhisbodedus.Rav Simcha Zissel and the Ba’al Shem Tov were doing what Moshe Rabeinu and Dovid Hamelech did for years and years in the wilderness. And thesetzadikimutilized solitude in order to gain the awareness that they are alone with Hashem; to gain a palpable feeling of standing in the presence of Hashem. And so even when they returned to theirtalmidim, to their communities, they were not deceived, they always retained the Awareness of Hashem that they had achieved in their solitude.GRAB THE OPPORTUNITIES OF LONELINESSAnd therefore the man who aspires to be better, the one who wants to make progress in this world, he tries to find opportunities to be alone. To spend your life, as much as possible, alone in your thoughts with Hakodosh Boruch Hu, that is the great career open to all of us; a noble way of perfecting oneself, of attainingshleimusand making the most out of life. Because there’s nothing in life as conducive to perfection, as the condition of being alone with HashemNow, what to do when you’re alone – that’s something that takes a lot of explaining,but the first step is to decide thatyou’re going to be a person who utilizes solitude properly.Let’s say you’re all alone in your room.There’s nobody there right now.Your wife is out shopping.It’s Saturday night and she’s out with her friends.They’re going to the stores, shopping.So you happen to be home by yourself.Ah!You can take this as a glorious opportunity.I’m alone for a little while.I’m alone with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.If you wish, you can talk to Hashem.It’s the best company.If you have nothing to say, open aTehillimand talk to Him in the words ofTehillim, the words of praise.Now that’s not achiyuv.If you wish you can go along with your wife on the shopping spree. There’s no sin if you don’t want to remain home.But if you are a person who seeks greatness of character, you seize the opportunity to be alone and you understand that it’s a gift fromshamayim. Of course you have to learn how to spend your time alone but when you learn it, you’ll appreciate that great gift.AN EXCELLENT WAY OF SPENDING YOUR TIMENow one of the first things, the most basic thing you’ll have to do when you’re alone with Hashem is to think about thechasodimhe bestows upon you all the time, and to thank Him for them. You can start by thinking about the food you ate today.Thank Hashem for your food. So you say, “I wasyotzehalready once.I thanked.”No, that’s not enough.You have to thank Him always, in addition to yourbrachos,in addition tobirkas hamazon.There’s no end to what you have to be thankful for. Walk out in the cold weather and you have a nice warm garment made of wool.You have to think about these things and tell Hashem how grateful you are to Him. ‘Thank You Hashem for giving me warm clothing!” And say, “Hashem,Baruch Atahfor a beautiful day!” It takes a long time before the day is finished; thank Him a number of times each day for a beautiful day. “It’s a beautiful day, Hashem, a beautiful day!” Now, when it’s raining – it’s also a beautiful day. “Oh,” Hashem,” it’s beautiful day when “diamonds”fall from the sky!” You say, “I thank You Hashem, I thank You Hashem, I thank You Hashem.”That’s an excellent way of spending your spare time.LEARN TO BE HAPPY!I know that most of what you’re hearing now seems a very artificial and remote to your minds; it’s so remote that we’re not even interested in hearing about it. You’re waiting for me to move on, to say something else. But I want to tell you that those people who train themselves to be alone with Hashem are the happiest creatures on earth.There is nothing more pleasurable than the opportunity to talk directly to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.That’s thesimchahofahavas Hashem; a man that is praising Hashem always is a really happy man.Now thanking Hashem is only the beginning. Once you make time to be alone with Hashem, there’s so much to do; so many good things to do to perfect your character.You can think about yourself, think about your life.Because a man has to think about himself – is he walking in the ways ofyosheror not? He has to examine his lifestyle in general and he has to examine his individual deeds, are they in accordance with what he would like them to be, or better yet, in accordance with what theTorahwould like them to be? So you need time for that! Otherwise your life goes by and you continue to repeat the same errors and not to make progress. It’s important to have time alone.THE LAMPPOST & LUNGS PROJECTAnd therefore it’s the people who live withseichel, who are cognizant of the fact that they can have a real relationship with Hashem, there’s no question they’ll be better off. Only that you can’t start all at once.You do it gradually.היום יקנה קצת ממנו, today you acquire a little bit, ומחר יוסיף עליו מעט יותר and tomorrow you add a little more, עד שיתרגל בו לגמרי until you’ll become entirely accustomed to it.So let’s say you’re walking in the street with a friend and you say “Let’s make a project that from this lamppost to the next lamppost we’ll think only of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.” Try that; it’s not as easy as it sounds. If you’re not with a friend, do it yourself; even better, you’re walking down Kings Highway all alone with “your best friend.” Challenge yourself: “If I can think about Hakadosh Baruch Hu from this street to the next street –it’s only twenty paces in between – so that means I was alone with Hashem for a little bit.” And at the end you relax.“Ah, I did it.I made it.For twenty paces I thought about Hakadosh Baruch Hu.”A man once said to me “Twenty paces is nothing.I think about Him always.”Ahnechtigehtug! It means heneverthinks about Him.You can’t do it unless you practice up and it’s not easy.It’s like breathing.You know, it’s a good idea to practice breathing.You breathe in deeply and you hold your breath and walk five paces.Then you exhale. Now you take a deep breath again and walk six paces while holding your breath, and then exhale.After a while you’ll be walking fifty paces.That’s a record for you. If you can walk fifty paces holding your breath then you have big lungs, big windbags.You can be a good runner too, an athlete.That’s the way to exercise your lungs. But here’s a way of exercising yourneshamahand your mind.IT’S A MITZVAH TO THINK ABOUT HASHEMAnd it’s not just a good piece of advice that I came up with. It’s a command of the Torah: השמר לך פן תשכח את השם אלקיך, be aware, beware not to forget Hashem.What does it mean not to forget Hashem?It doesn’t mean merely to keep themitzvos.It doesn’t say beware not to forget themitzvos.You should bewarenot to forget Hashem! That means you should be thinking about Him!Try thinking about Hakadosh Boruch Hu for one minute straight.There’s so much to think about. Think that Hashem is looking at you.Think Hashem loves you.אהבתי אתכם נאום השם – “I love you,” says Hashem. Do you think about that ever?Do you ever stop to think that Hashem loves you?He loves you a thousand more times than your mother loves you and you never thought about it?! You never once thought that Hashem loves you immensely, infinitely?!YOU’LL BECOME A HEAD TALLERThat’s a wonderful thing to think about for your one minute excursion into solitude, your minute of being alone with Hashem in your thoughts. So you’re thinking – and if there’s no one listening then you can say it too: “Hashem , I know You’re right here with me and that You’re listening to me. You love me more than I can imagine. You love me more than my mother loves me, more than my father, more than my friends love me. You’re taking care of me, everything You do to me is for the best and I love you too!And then you relax. You made it! You were together with Hakodosh Boruch Hu for a minute straight. And after a while try for two minutes.And when you get used to that, you can try a little longer. Now that’s a man who’s a head taller than the rest of the world!A DAILY OPPORTUNITYAnother remarkable opportunity for being alone with Hashem is yourdressing in the morning or undressing at night.TheTursays (Orach Chaim 2:2) that one has to be careful not to expose his body unnecessarily when he’s dressing or undressing alone in his room. So you might say well it’s dark in this room; who sees me?Don’t say, “Who sees me?”השם מלא כל הארץ כבודו.He sees you!And therefore every morning and every night when you dress and undress, it’s your opportunity to have some solitude with Hashem. You’re thinking these thoughts. Hashem is here with me and He’s looking and that’s why I’m careful how I undress. Of course Hashem has x-ray vision too.Nevertheless, the fact that He is looking should be enough to make you cover yourself.It’s a practice; it’s atargil.You do it always and little by little you gain an awareness of this great truth that Hashem is looking.It’s very important to work on that.Sometimes you take a walk and that’s a great opportunity. For all of us here walking could also be a form of solitude; solitude doesn’t mean you have to be in a cave or on a desert island. When you walk down the street, you’re all alone; no one is talking to you, and it’s a glorious opportunity to talk to Hashem.YOU NEED HASHEM CONSTANTLYAsk Hashem that He should help you with everything. “I am going for a walk Hashem. Please help me I should succeed in gaining good health, and that I shouldn’t have any difficulties with rude people that bump into me. And while they are “bumping into me” they put their hand in my back pocket and taking out my wallet. This happens every day on Kings Highway! Somebody is shouting, “I just lost my wallet; it had a hundred dollars in it!”“Please Hashem, I shouldn’t have any difficulties crossing streets.” When you want to cross the street, absolutely, you should ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu for help. Ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu to protect you from accidents. Accidents are happening all the time. You think you are a wise man, that you look both ways when you start walking and that’s enough. There is a fellow ahead of you, he is turning the corner on two wheels, and he’s not asking you for permission.Every day, therenisimhappen! He just missed you by half an inch.Here is a man walking on the sidewalk, all of a sudden, a truck zooms by – a drunken man driving a truck runs up in the sidewalk and hits him and he’s finished. He wasn’t even thinking of buying a burial plot.A young man and all of a sudden he is dead laying on the sidewalk. Ah yah yay, a tragedy! It happens again and again, drunken drivers run up on the sidewalk. You have to cross the street, surely, but before you cross, you think it’s a foolish thing to say atefillayou should cross successfully? And so, always ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And when you get to the other side, say “Thank You, Hashem that I made it across successfully.” And when you come homeb’shalom, “Baruch Hashem, I made it. I came home and everything is in order. Thank You Hakadosh Baruch Hu.” That’s solitude with Hashem, and it’s available to you all the time.Now sometimes, how to get solitude is a problem.Let’s say you’re in ayeshivahand you’re busy all day learning in theyeshiva.If you’re in a busybeis medrashwhere is your solitude? So atzaddikonce said, let’s say you’re in theyeshivahand you have agemarain front of you, so you put thegemarain front of your face and you’re transported to some far off isolated place and you’re speaking to Hakadosh Baruch Hub’hisbodedus!“Hashem, please, Hashem, see that I don’t waste my years, that I accomplish something in my young days, and help that I should be able to do something later in life for You and for Your people.”THE WRONGBASHERTIf you’re not yet married,Al zos yispallel kol chosid eilechah le’eis mitzo– every chossid has to pray when the time comes to find a wife.Matzah zuishah. You have to pray and pray, but not just one time, you have to pray and pray and pray that Hashem should send you the right one. Don’t say, “It’sbashert,” and forget about it. It could bebasherttzarosfor you,chas v’shalom. That could bebashert, too. Thegemarasays Delilah wasbashertfor Shimshon; a “bighatzlacha”he had from Delilah.So, you have to pray to Hashem, “Give me a goodbashert.” You have to pray; oh yes, you must pray. And start praying, not onerevthechasunah; pray a long time before. It is very important. You have to pray for children. For healthy children. And that your children should give younachas. How manytalmidei chachomimdon’t have anynachasfrom their children! So you’re talking to Hashem non-stop. You’re alone with Hashem in thebeis medrashand that’s what theChovos Halevavoscalls התבודדות בתוך ההמון; it’s possible to be “in solitude in the midst of a multitude.”Of course you can’t be alone all the time. You have to be a father or a mother as well. You have to be a son or a daughter, a neighbor, and employee, whatever it is. But as much as possible, if you can spend time in solitude, a little bit, more or less, and think about Hashem and talk to Him, it’s amazing what can be achieved.Then you feelyou’re alone with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.And that’s the truth.Because even when you’re dwelling among your brothers, you’re in a crowd, you’re hanging on a strap in the subway, you’re really all alone.So now you’ll think about that when you’re on the subway.You’re caught in the subway in rush hour and you’re hanging on the strap, close your eyes and feelthe place is empty.Of course you should watch your pockets anyhow.Keep your hand on your wallet and forget about the crowd around you. All around you is a storm of humanity with all their little interests, their little worries, their conversations, their little minds. You’re holding onto the strap but you are now in the wilderness of Midian all alone; you’remisbodedwith Hashem and you’re coming closer to Him.GETTING YOUR MIND CLEANED AT THE DENTISTLet’s say you’re sitting in a waiting room by a dentist and you have to wait a half hour. If you have asefer, look in thesefer.You don’t have asefer? Here’s your chance.Or you wake up in the middle of the night.Sometimes for a few minutes you can’t sleep.So until you fall asleep again let’s say you’ll be thinking:כי הוא אמר ויהי, Hashem spoke.That’s all He did, He spoke and the world came into existence.הוא ציוה, He commandedויעמוד and there arose a world.בדבר השם שמים נעשו, the heavens were made only by the word of Hashem.That’s why it says לעולם השם דברך ניצב בשמים.Your word is standing in theshamayim, Your word! You saidyehiand it’s standing in theshamayim.You take away the wordyehiand the wholeshamayimwould collapse into nothing. Everything around you is all just Hashem’s imagination. You ever think about that? He spoke כי הוא אמר ויהי.He was the One who wasmehavehthe wholebriah.A greatnes.It never happened againyesh mei’ayin! That’s a thought that can make you great while you’re sitting alone in the dentist office or hanging onto the subway strap.Let’s say you’re sitting at abar mitzvahparty and all around you all the tongues are clacking. What do you need it for? Is all that chatter going to do you good in the Next World?! So you’re a smart fellow, so you act like you’re listening but your mind is someplace else.You’re “in the forest” now, like the Baal Shem Tov went in the forest.You’re in the forest with Hashem.ויתבודד עם בוראו – You’re find solitude with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. And when somebody asks you something, so you come out of the forest to answer. They’ll say, “He’s absent minded,” so you say “I’m sorry, I was thinking about something.”They’ll think you were thinking about your business or something.Let them think so.What we’re seeing now is that It’s possiblel’hisboded b’soch ha’hamon,to find solitude with Hashem even as you’re in the midst of people.LOUD CHASUNA MUSIC IS AYESHUAHLet’s sayyou’re attending a wedding.At the wedding as you sit around, it’s not polite to take out agemara; so you’re sitting at the table or you’re dancing, clapping, whatever you’re doing, you’re participating. But your mind is with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. First of all, you can say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, “Ribono Shel Olam bless thechossonand bless thekallahthey should all have good health all their lives.They should haveparnasahberevach.”You could say it with your mind and nobody’s listening. But even better, you can say it with your mouth – the music is so loud, nobody will hear you. They think you’re singing along. Bless them that they should have the most beautiful and smartest children.Bless them they should always get alongb’simchahwith each other. Bless them they should live long and dance at the weddings of all their grandchild and great-grandchildren. Do you think that at all?Why shouldn’t you?They need yourtefilos.Everybody getting married, you should know, needs as manytefilosas possible.And אתה שומע, Hashem is listening to yourtefilos. And when you do this, you should know you are exceptional. Because you’re in a big wedding hall full of people, hundreds of people. But as far as you’re concerned, it’s just you and Hashem.GREATNESS AT COUSIN CHAIM’S HOUSEOr let’s say you were forced to go somewhere; after all you must go to visit Cousin Chaim in Boro Park. It’s your wife’s cousin, and you can’t say no this time. So they’re eatingmelave malkahand everybody is chatting and you’re like a fish on dry land. Their minds are being ground to pieces by the idle chatter. So you’re sitting among them and you close your eyes for a moment.They’ll think you’re dozing off but actually you have retired into your cave and you’re talking to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.You’re thinking your thoughts. Everybody is talking, you’re thinking! Ahh! That’s solitude. Just for a moment.One moment is also a very big achievement.Solitude doesn’t mean a lifetime of being isolated from humanity.Every minute is an achievement in itself. Of coursetzaddikimare able to havedeveikus,clinging to Hashem,always.But we’re not that big.But if you havedeveikusfor one minute then you’ve already accomplished something great with your life.Now I know people will listen to me and they will just dismiss these ideas. They think that it’s amidas chassidus,it’s something that only very great people should do.But that’s wrong. Don’t think that what we’re saying here is going overboard. Just because ordinary people will often live like they do withhesech hada’as; theydavenas ordinary peopledavenand mostly their minds are occupied with ordinary things, doesn’t means that you have to do the same. Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants more than ordinariness. He wants you to be close to Him because those who are far away from Him will eventually go lost.And even though you seem to be ashomermitzvos,but actually you’re far away from Him if your mind doesn’t concentrate on Him, if you’re not living with Him in your mind. And therefore, as much as possible you spend time talking to Hashem. You don’t have to have asiddur, you don’t need aTehillim. Use your own mind. In your own thoughts, in your own words, you’re alone with Hashem.SOLITUDE THREE TIMES A DAYNow, while we’re on the topic, I’ll mention one more opportunity that we have every day and that’sshemonah esrei.Theamidahyou know, is said almost silently, and it’s supposed to be as if you’re standing in thekodesh hakodoshimand you’re talking to theshechinah.That’s how a person should imagine himself.There’s nobody around and you’re talking directly to Hashem. It’s a glorious opportunity.Nobody can hear what you’re saying except yourself perhaps, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is listening.Now that’s real solitude.Only that when a person doesn’t have the attitude of talking to Hakadosh Baruch Hu so hisshemonah esreiis just to him something he has to rattle off by rote, something he has to do, and he’ll never experience the ecstasy of speaking to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And that’s the great tragedy of what we do when we daven; we’re talking to Hashem but actually קרוב אתה בפיהם ורחוק מכליותיהם – “You are close in their mouths but You are far away from their kidneys.” It means that You, Hashem are far away from their insides, their minds. That’s what thenavisaid. And that’s the truth – that’s whatdavenenis.And so it’s very important for us to think Hashem is listening to us. That’s step number one:כי אתה שומע, You are listening. If He’s listening to you, it’s impossible to remove your mind from thinking what you are saying.When you’re just saying something to the wall or to thesiddurit’s possible to forget thekavanah, the intention, of what you’re saying.But when you’re talking to someone, you never talkshelo bekavanahunless you’remeshuga.IT’S GOOD TO BE A HYPOCRITEAnd it’s only if a man sincerely embarks on a career of learning to constantly speak to Hashem, that hisdavenenfinally becomes meaningful. Now at first it’s superficial; you’re a hypocrite. Of course it’s a good hypocrisy – you’re doing it to train yourself. You talk to Hashem and you say, “I thank You Hashem that You have made me healthy.” When you see a man hopping in the street with one empty trousers leg; he has crutches and you have two good legs, you have to stop and think “Boruch Atah Hashem,that I have two legs.” You see a man walking in the street and one empty sleeve pinned to his pocket, you have to thank Hakodosh Boruch Hu that you have two arms.The gemara says, לעולם יבקש אדם שלא יחלה – A person should always ask forrachamimnot to become sick. When should he do it?L’olam! Always! Sickness is always lurking in every nook and cranny of the body.All around us germs are floating around in the air. If you walk in the street, and somebody coughs into your face, a whole mouthful of germs sticks to your face from his saliva. It is a very fine form of disgrace!LEARNING TO SAY “YOU”We are in the midst of a cauldron of peril, and illness is one of the most frequent things that happen,chas v’shalom,to a person. And so thechachomimare giving us a piece of very sound advice – ask Hashem not to become ill. You can ask in general, which is also good, but when you hear what happened to a certain man, that he had a tumor in his brain, then you should ask Hashem specifically, “Ribono Shel Olam, heal that man; send him arefuah sheleima besoch sh’ar cholei Yisroel.And please Hashem protect me, protect me! Hashem, I don’t want a brain tumor! Please protect me!” And no matter how many times you say it will not be enough. Inshemone esreiwe say it three times a day but actually all day long you have to thank Hashem that you are well and ask Him to keep you well. Always pray that you should be well, your wife should be well, your children should be well, pray for them all the time.And little by little you will get accustomed to saying the words. And after a while you’re going to feel that there is Somebody actually listening. After a while, when you say אתה, “You” you feel like you’re talking to Somebody. And when that great day comes, then you know you have arrived! That’s what the Mesillas Yesharim says, that at first you say it, and say it, and after a while the realization enters your mind that you’re actually talking to Someone. You’re talking to Hashem and you’ve begun to taste the sweetness of being alone with Him.THE GREAT CAREER OF MOSHE RABEINUNow, we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of the great opportunity of being alone with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. It’s a great career that is open to everyone, men and women, boys and girls. And it’s the career that made Moshe ben Amram into Moshe Rabeinu. And so we come back to the question that we asked in the beginning of our talk. What was the secret to Moshe Rabeinu’s success? What did he do for more than forty years wandering alone in the wilderness of Sinai, and shepherding in the mountains of Midian? And the answer is that those were the years that made him great because those were the years that he spent alone with Hakodosh Boruch Hu. It was days, and months, and years of thinking about Hashem, taking to Hashem, becoming more and more aware of Hashem. All the things we spoke about tonight – and much much more – were accomplished by Moshe during those years.One of the prime requisites for the development of greatness is solitude. And having to go lost for forty lonely years was the great opportunity for greatness that Hashem presented to Moshe Rabeinu. Moshe Rabeinu led Yisro’s flocks into the wilderness alone, like Yaakov had done many years earlier in the house of Lavan, and like Dovid did many years later. And it was there, in solitude with Hashem that his character and grew apace and ripened until the day when Hashem deemed him ready for his destiny.And that’s who we aspire to emulate – like we said before: כל אדם ראוי להיות צדיק כמשה רבינו– “Every person is fit to be righteous like Moshe Rabeinu.” Only that you have to start somewhere! We’re all capable of using the great opportunity of solitude from time to time; of using these exercises we spoke about tonight to train ourselves into a life of solitude with Hakodosh Boruch Huthe same way that Moshe Rabeinu did.And once you start on that career, even if it’s only one minute at a time, then you’re already living successfully. You’re utilizing the great opportunity of being alone with Hashem in this world in order to prepare for that great career in the Afterlife of being alone with Hashem forever and ever. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. This podcast has been graciously sponsored by JewishPodcasts.fm. 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