0:00 Confidence Is a Choice Not a Feeling 1:07 The Moment Most People Quit 2:11 Confidence Is Not the Absence of Insecurity 4:17 Confidence Is Remembering Your Why 5:45 Why Negativity as Fuel Fails 7:34 How to Fail Without Being a Failure 8:37 Choosing the Delusional Voice 10:50 Your Flop Era Leads to Success 11:44 Closing You don't need to feel confident to make the confident choice. That's the biggest misconception about confidence. We think that confident can only come without self-doubt. That successful people simply believe in themselves more than everyone else. But what if confidence and insecurity were never opposites to begin with? In this episode of Touching Grass, I share why some of the most confident seasons of my life were also filled with self-doubt, rejection, and failure. From struggling to grow this podcast, to being unemployed, to getting rejected from my dream school, I explore what actually separates the people who keep going from the people who give up. Because confidence isn't about eliminating your insecurities. It's about refusing to let them make your decisions. We get into: -Why confidence and insecurity can exist at the same time -The biggest myth self-help content gets wrong about confidence -Why failure doesn't make you a failure -The psychology behind impostor syndrome and self-doubt -How your brain tries to protect you from emotional risk -Why the six-month "Valley of Despair" causes so many creators and entrepreneurs to quit -The difference between feeling confident and making confident choices -Why sustainable motivation can't come from self-criticism -The mindset shift that helped me graduate at the top of my class after years of believing I wasn't smart enough -Why success is built by repeatedly choosing the voice that sees your potential The voice telling you to quit will probably never disappear. But it doesn't have to. You don't need to wait until you believe in yourself completely before chasing your dreams. You just have to stop letting your insecurity make the decisions your confidence was meant to make. Sometimes success isn't about having the right mindset. It's about choosing the right voice to listen to.

0:00 how feeling ugly set me free

1:44 the problem with beauty-based confidence

3:14 not caring about looks is freeing

5:13 obsession with beauty prevents living

5:43 beauty as a form of control

7:33 beauty as a form of power

8:19 feeling ugly is empowering

9:30 your body as a vehicle for experience

10:12 self-love shouldn’t be tied to looks

11:12 removing the weight of words

The beauty industry tells us to love ourselves.

Social media tells us to be confident.

And every corner of the internet seems obsessed with helping women feel more beautiful.

But what if confidence has nothing to do with thinking you're beautiful?

In this episode of Touching Grass, we explore the surprising freedom that comes from not needing to look your best all the time, and why true self-confidence isn't built on beauty at all.

Because the reality is:

You are not always going to look pretty.

Your body will change.

Your skin will change.

Your hair will have bad days.

You'll age.

And if your self-worth depends on liking what you see in the mirror, your confidence will always be fragile.

We get into:

-Why confidence and beauty are not the same thing

-The difference between self-love and appearance-based validation

-Why beauty standards are designed to stay unattainable

-How social media fuels appearance anxiety and comparison

-Why feeling beautiful is often an emotion, not a look

-The hidden cost of obsessing over your appearance

-How beauty insecurity impacts self-esteem and decision making

-Why low self-worth makes people easier to control

-The connection between beauty standards, dependence, and power

-Why women are often taught to prioritize appearance over personal development

-How to stop tying your worth to how attractive you feel

-Why true confidence comes from who you are, not how you look

-The freedom that comes from being okay with not looking your best

-How focusing on experiences creates a stronger sense of self than focusing on appearance

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

-avoided experiences because they didn't feel attractive enough,

-spent too much time worrying about how they looked,

-felt like their confidence disappeared on a bad hair day,

-or struggled to separate their self-worth from their appearance.

Because the most confident people aren't the ones who always feel beautiful.

They're the ones who know their value doesn't disappear when they don't.

The truth is, beauty can be powerful.

But relying on it is not.

And the moment you stop needing to feel beautiful all the time is the moment you become truly free.

0:00 Introduction

1:40 unbothered vs performance

2:53 nothing is about you

3:50 shifting your mindset

5:13 unbothered isn’t not caring

6:52 sitting in discomfort

8:38 it’s okay to not be liked

11:05 everything is a projection of preference

13:14 learning to regulate

14:04 arriving to unbothered

Everyone wants to be unbothered.

To stop overthinking texts.

To stop taking rejection personally.

To stop spiraling over what people think of them.

But most of the advice online gets one thing wrong:

Being unbothered isn't about caring less.

In this episode of Touching Grass, we break down what it actually means to be unbothered, why emotional detachment isn't the same as emotional regulation, and how taking everything personally keeps us stuck in cycles of insecurity, overthinking, and self-doubt.

Because the greatest mindset shift you can make is realizing that most of what people do is a reflection of them, not you.

Their actions, preferences, reactions, insecurities, and opinions often reveal far more about their own experiences than they do about your worth.

We get into:

-Why most "unbothered" advice online misses the point

-The difference between emotional regulation and emotional detachment

-Why pretending not to care is often just another form of self-protection

-How taking everything personally fuels insecurity and overthinking

-Why being unbothered starts with decentering yourself

-The psychology behind projection and how it shapes relationships

-How to stop assuming other people's actions are about you

-Why rejection doesn't determine your value

-How to navigate hurt feelings without suppressing them

-The difference between confidence and emotional numbness-Why not everyone has to like you

-How empathy helps you stop overanalyzing other people's behavior

-Why emotional resilience comes from feeling your emotions, not avoiding them-

How perspective creates peace in friendships, dating, and everyday life

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

-overthought a text message,

-felt hurt by being left out,

-struggled with rejection,

-worried too much about what other people think,

-or wished they could stop taking everything so personally.

Because being unbothered isn't about shutting off your emotions.

It's about trusting yourself enough to feel them without being controlled by them.

The truth is, not everything is about you.

And once you realize that, life becomes a whole lot lighter.

0:00 introduction

1:47 why the world feels extreme

2:51 how controversy helped me

5:02 reality tv example

5:45 belief through repetition

7:51 cancel culture doesn't work

9:32 why politics feel extreme

11:32 the need for balance

13:46 staying informed vs amplification

15:12 your attention is power

The internet is constantly complaining about extreme people.

The influencers with outrageous opinions.

The reality stars creating chaos.

The politicians saying the most controversial things imaginable.

Yet somehow, they keep getting bigger.

In this episode of Touching Grass, we break down one of the most uncomfortable truths about social media:

The algorithm can only amplify what people engage with.

Because while we blame influencers, platforms, producers, and politicians, we rarely talk about the role our own attention plays in making extreme ideas popular.

From cancel culture to political polarization, from reality TV to outrage content, we explore how the attention economy rewards controversy, why repeated exposure makes extreme ideas feel normal, and how social media algorithms turn engagement into influence.

We get into:

-Why extreme content performs so well online

-How the attention economy rewards outrage and controversy

-Why social media algorithms prioritize engagement over accuracy

-How creators profit from polarization and conflict

-Why reality TV incentivizes increasingly extreme behavior

-The psychology behind the illusory truth effect

-How repeated exposure makes ideas feel true

-Why misinformation spreads so easily online

-The connection between social media extremism and political polarization

-Why cancel culture often fails to create meaningful change

-How echo chambers and bandwagon effects shape our beliefs

-The difference between staying informed and amplifying harmful ideas

-Why belonging and acceptance can pull people toward extreme communities

-How to think more intentionally about where your attention goes

This episode isn't about defending harmful ideas.

And it's not about pretending social media algorithms don't have power.

It's about recognizing that attention is power too.

Because every click, comment, share, hate-watch, and reaction tells the algorithm what deserves more visibility.

The truth is, the people we claim to dislike often benefit from our attention the most.

And until we're willing to talk honestly about that, we'll keep helping the very ideas we say we want less of grow.

0:00 introduction

1:40 why it feels empowering

3:01 the contradicting message

3:43 why you actually feel safe

8:03 femininity in nature

11:39 ballet as an example

13:02 taking back control

14:22 the dependency on men

17:09 final thoughts

Being in your feminine energy.

Finding a man who lets you relax.

Finally leaving survival mode behind.

It's one of the most popular ideas on the internet right now.

And honestly... I understand why people are drawn to it.

In this episode of Touching Grass, we break down the rise of "feminine and masculine energy" content, why millions of people find it empowering, and how a message that sounds liberating may actually be reinforcing the very gender roles it claims to challenge.

Because what most people don't talk about is this:

The feeling they're describing is real.

The explanation isn't.

What people call "feminine energy" often has less to do with gender and more to do with safety, trust, emotional security, and the way healthy relationships regulate our nervous systems.

We get into:

-Why feminine and masculine energy became so popular online

-How old gender roles were repackaged as modern empowerment

-Why the idea of a man "putting you in your feminine" is more problematic than it sounds

-What social buffering and co-regulation actually are

-Why healthy relationships create peace, not gendered roles

-How these labels affect dating, careers, self-worth, and personal growth

-Why women are discouraged from embracing traits like confidence, leadership, and discipline

-How men are harmed by expectations that tie their worth to providing and protecting

-The difference between partnership and dependence

-Why nature doesn't support the gendered narratives people often use to justify these ideas

-How social media profits from simplifying complex human emotions into viral labels

This episode isn't about attacking femininity.

And it's not about criticizing people who find comfort in these ideas.

It's about understanding what is actually happening beneath the labels.

Because strength isn't masculine.

Compassion isn't feminine.

And the moment we stop treating human qualities as gendered traits, we gain access to the full range of who we are.

The truth is, you don't need to become more masculine or more feminine.

You need the freedom to be fully human.

This week on Touching Grass, we’re talking about beans… but not really.

From “BeanTok” to avocado toast, this episode dives into how certain foods, styles, slang, and trends suddenly become “cool” once they’re adopted by the mainstream, while the communities who created them are still judged, stereotyped, or erased.

As a Latina, I wanted to explore the deeper layers behind trends:

Who gets to decide what’s socially acceptable?

Why do some cultures get mocked for the very things others get praised for?

And what happens when culture becomes trendy, but the people behind it are still treated as “other”?

We talk about:

-BeanTok and wellness culture

-The history behind food-related slurs

-Why trends often start in minority communities

-The “gentrification” of foods like avocado toast

-Cultural erasure and social acceptance

-Why appreciating culture also means understanding its history

-The difference between sharing culture vs profiting from it while ignoring the people behind it

This episode isn’t about shaming people for liking trends.

It’s about recognizing that trends don’t appear out of nowhere; they come from real people, histories, families, and communities.

So yes… this episode may be about beans.

But it’s really about human beings :)

Welcome to Touching Grass your escape from the digital noise

Turning 25 as a single woman on the internet apparently means I’m “expired.”So in this episode of Touching Grass, I decided to talk about it.Not just the ridiculous online discourse around women aging, dating, and “market value,” but the real lessons about love, relationships, heartbreak, situationships, timing, and self-worth that I’ve learned over the past 25 years.This is probably the most personal episodes I’ve recorded.We talk about:-Why it’s okay to date people you may not marry-How relationships can still be meaningful even if they end-Why situationships happen so often in our generation-The difference between fireworks and peace in love-Why lifestyle and direction matter just as much as chemistry-Learning what healthy love actually feels like-Breakups that happen without anyone being the villain-Why being single in your 20s is not a failure-And how growing older as a woman is actually a privilege, not a punishmentI also open up about my first real relationship, what it taught me about emotional safety, and why I no longer believe love is supposed to feel like an explosion.Because maybe the goal isn’t to find someone before you “run out of time.”Maybe the goal is to know yourself well enough to choose the right person when they finally arrive.If you’re in your 20s feeling behind in love, pressured by timelines, healing from heartbreak, or trying to figure out what healthy relationships actually look like, this episode is for you.Welcome to Touching Grass, your escape from the digital noise.

There’s a fear a lot of us carry but rarely say out loud.The fear of being seen as a failure.In this episode of Touching Grass, I open up about what it feels like to be in a pause in life that doesn’t look like progress from the outside, especially when you’ve spent years moving from goal to goal, identity to identity, and suddenly find yourself in a chapter that feels uncertain, invisible, and uncomfortable to explain.I’m currently unemployed, and instead of feeling like a “cinematic comeback arc,” this phase has brought up something else entirely: shame, comparison, and the fear of what other people might think.And that fear? It made me isolate myself more than I realized.But the more I sat with it, the more I started to notice something important: this experience isn’t rare, and it isn’t a sign that something is wrong.It’s part of being in your 20s, figuring life out in real time, and learning that the path you were taught to follow was never as linear as it seemed.In this episode, we talk about:-Why unemployment and “in-between” phases feel so emotionally heavy-The shame that comes from not having a clear identity or direction-How fear of judgment isolates us more than reality ever does-The myth of the linear path and why life rarely unfolds the way we expect-Why success is slow, non-linear, and built through confusion, not certainty-How social media distorts timelines and creates unrealistic expectations of progress-The gap between who you were, who you want to be, and who you are right now-Why most people feel lost, even the ones who seem like they have it all figured out-How vulnerability and honesty actually reduce shame instead of increasing it-Why isolating yourself during hard moments makes everything heavier than it needs to be-And how connection can quietly change the way you experience uncertaintyThis isn’t a polished story with a perfect ending.It’s a reminder that feeling behind, embarrassed, or unsure doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you human.Because most people aren’t judging you the way you think they are.And the ones who matter aren’t measuring your worth by your timeline.If anything, they’ve probably been exactly where you are.And if you’re in that place right now: feeling stuck, uncertain, or like your life doesn’t look the way it “should”; you’re not alone in it.There’s more people in this than you think.And this is just one chapter, not the whole story.

The internet is obsessed with being “nonchalant.”

Don’t care too much.

Don’t try too hard.

Don’t text first.

Don’t be cringe.

But in this episode of Touching Grass, we break down why the online obsession with looking cool, detached, and emotionally unavailable is actually rooted in insecurity; and how the fear of being judged is stopping people from becoming who they want to be.

Because the truth is, the people who achieve their goals, build meaningful relationships, and create fulfilling lives are rarely the people pretending not to care.

They’re the ones willing to try.

We get into:

-Why social media romanticizes being nonchalant and emotionally detached

-How fear of embarrassment keeps people from chasing their goals

-Why “trying too hard” became an insult online

-How insecurity disguises itself as not caring

-The connection between confidence, vulnerability, and success

-Why success requires failure, rejection, and being misunderstood

-How fear of judgment holds people back from opportunities and growth

-The emotional cost of pretending not to care in friendships and relationships

-Why people avoid love, vulnerability, and deep connection to protect themselves

-How performing for other people slowly disconnects you from your real identity

-The regret that comes from never trying, never risking, and never fully living

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

-held themselves back because they were afraid of looking stupid,

-wanted to start something but felt embarrassed to be seen trying,

-or felt pressured to act like they care less than they actually do.

Because life isn’t meant to be lived on the surface.

And the coolest thing you can do isn’t pretending not to care.

It’s caring enough to try anyway.

To love deeply.

To risk failure.

To put yourself out there.

And to become the version of yourself you’re too scared to admit you want to be.

At the end of the day, people are going to talk either way.

So you might as well give them something worth talking about.

The internet loves to talk about boundaries.“Protect your peace.”“Cut people off.”“Match energy.”But what happens when those ideas go too far?In this episode of Touching Grass, we break down how social media has turned boundaries into extremes and how that shift is making us more isolated, more judgmental, and less connected than ever.Because while everyone is craving deeper friendships and a sense of community, the expectations we place on individuals have never been higher.And the truth is…No one person was ever meant to be everything for you.We get into:-How social media distorted the idea of boundaries and “protecting your peace”-The difference between real boundaries vs. emotional avoidance-How unrealistic expectations are ruining friendships and creating isolation-Why not every friend is meant to show up the same way, and why that’s a good thing-The importance of having different types of friends for different parts of your life-How over-relying on one person leads to conflict, insecurity, and disappointment-Why true community comes from a group of people, not one perfect relationship-How empathy plays a role in building stronger, more fulfilling connections-What it actually means to build a “village” in adulthoodThis isn’t about ignoring red flags or staying in unhealthy relationships.Boundaries matter, but so does nuance.Because there’s a difference between protecting your peace…and isolating yourself in the process.Real friendships aren’t perfect.They don’t follow a script.And they don’t look the same across every person in your life.They’re built through showing up, understanding each other, and allowing people to be human.And if you want a real sense of community...You have to stop expecting one person to be everything, and start building a village instead.