Fifteen years ago Stephen was drugged and raped by a stranger. Six months later he was diagnosed with HIV. It took him two years to start wanting to live again but today Stephen is a YouTuber and actor with a successful one-man off-Broadway show on his resume, called Shadowed Dreamer.

In this interview Stephen and I discuss where to find the strength to keep going when the cards are stacked against you, the misinformation surrounding HIV, its treatment and life expectancy, and why HIV has gone out of fashion with the media. 

Follow Stephen on Instagram @harttalks2016 and check out his Youtube channel Hart Talks

The book: Timothy Conigrave's Holding the Man

If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with a positive diagnosis or a potential positive diagnosis, you can find more information on the Terrence Higgins Trust website: www.tht.org.uk

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This episode was edited by Bartosz “Waskii” Tylczynski

After giving birth to my second baby in October 2020 I expected to experience post-baby blues. What I didn't expect was to slide dangerously close to post-natal depression. 

In this episode Jemima Forrester of episode 2 fame interviews me, Federica Leonardis, aka your host, about a frightening brush with post-natal depression. I'm aware that compared to some of the stories my guests have shared on the podcast mine will seem way less traumatic but I wanted to share it to help mums out there who might be struggling right now, to feel less alone.

We talk about being pregnant during the pandemic, the importance of taking care of yourself as if you mattered, and why when the going gets tough the love of friends and family is what will see you through. 

The book: Jordan B. Peterson's 12 Rules for Life: an Antidote to Chaos

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This episode was edited by Bartosz “Waskii” Tylczynski

Megan's third child died suddenly and unexpectedly when she was only fifteen months old. How can a parent recover from that? 

In this episode Megan and I talk about grief in its purest form, the importance of putting yourself back together even when you don't want to, and why self-care is actually a survival tool. 

Megan Hillukka is a grief coach and the host of the podcast Grieving Moms.

Find out more about Megan and her podcast here or on Facebook @CultivatedFamily

The book: Brené Brown's The Gift of Imperfection

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Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

This episode was edited by Bartosz “Waskii” Tylczynski

In this episode author Rosie Price shares her story of the violent sexual assault she suffered when she was a teenager, at the hand of someone she knew. 

We talk about coping mechanisms, how it affected her identity and sense of self, and how the culture surrounding the notion of rape has changed in the last ten years.

Rosie Price is a yoga teacher, a tutor and the author of What Red Was, a novel revolving around the main character's experience of rape, which in turn is based on Rosie's experience. 

Follow Rosie on Instagram and check out her first novel, What Red Was.

The book: Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score

If you've been a victim of sexual assault, you can find help and support at Rape Crisis, Solace Women's Aid and Mind.org.uk

If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review.

Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

This episode was edited by Bartosz “Waskii” Tylczynski

While in China on tour with the musical Evita, Danielle was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. 

After a test revealed she also had the BRCA2 gene, she decided to undergo a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, in addition to chemotherapy.

In this episode we discuss her cancer diagnosis during the pandemic, a balcony concert and the choices we have even in the darkest times. 

Danielle is a South African singer, actress, DJ and breast cancer awareness warrior.

You can find her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Vimeo 

Check her website daniellebitton.com or get in touch with her info(at)daniellebitton(dot)com

The book: Edith Eger’s The Choice

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This episode was edited by Bartosz “Waskii” Tylczynski

For the first eighteen years of her life, Lilia Tarawa lived in Gloriavale, a Christian religious cult founded in New Zealand by her grandfather. 

In this episode we discuss what happened after she left Gloriavale, along with her parents and siblings. 

How do you rebuild your life after having no life? How do you learn to make decisions for yourself after spending years with others dictating every aspect of your life, from what to wear to what to think and believe?

Lilia is a New Zealand Maori #1 Bestselling author and transformational speaker. Her book is Daughter of Gloriavale: My life in a Religious Cult

You can get in touch with Lilia or find more about her story on her website https://www.liliatarawa.com/ or you can follow her on Instagram LiliaTarawa

Check out her TedTalk here.

If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review.

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Nina Renata Aron is the author of the excellent memoir, Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls, centred around a long and painful co-dependent relationship with an addict. 

The book ends not long after Nina finally finds the strength to walk away, and I wanted to talk to Nina about the aftermath but also about co-dependent relationships in general, something that doesn't get discussed enough. 

What exactly is a co-dependent relationship? And when is it right to leave? If addiction is indeed an illness, is it wrong to leave an addict? And what responsibility, if any, does the co-dependent partner have?

The book: Deborah Levy's The Cost of Living

You can find out more about Nina and her writing on her website; you can follow her on Twitter @black_metallic and Instagram ninarenataaron.

If you're affected by someone else's addiction, you can find information and support at Alanon & Alateen UK or Al-Anon US   If you're wondering if you're co-dependent check out Coda patterns of recovery.   If you're looking for information on or support with addiction go to: www.ukna.org www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/aa-meetings/find-a-meeting Alcoholics Anonymous UK and Alcoholics Anonymous US Narcotics Anonymous UK and Narcotics Anonymous US

If you enjoy the podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share and review.

Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

When she was a teenager, Rose got pregnant. Her mother talked her out of getting an abortion so she decided to carry the pregnancy to term. However, her baby didn't survive and died four days after an extremely traumatic birth. 

Today, Rose has a successful career, a devoted daughter and just got married to a wonderful man but she's always regretted not getting an abortion and save everyone including herself a lot of pain. Where would she be today had her daughter survived? Would she be the woman she is today? Would she have been able to give her a good life or would she have been the teenage screwup everyone believed she was? 

We all have to live with the consequences of our actions but can we live with the consequences of our inaction? And who gets to define who we are?

The book: Tara Westover's Educated

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In her early twenties, Michelle got involved with a charming guy who grew progressively controlling, abusive and physically violent.

When she finally freed herself eight years later, her ordeal still wasn't over: another abusive relationship, sex trafficking and substance addiction lay ahead. 

Today Michelle has a loving family and a thriving writing career.

In this episode we talk about different types of safety, why leaving an abusive relationship is often a process of trial and error and about the importance of responsibilities in recovery.

The book: Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

We also mentioned Besser van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma and The Freedom Programme by Pat Craven

Follow Michelle on Twitter @MKellyx81

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Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis

 

In her early twenties, Rachel started hormonal therapy to transition to become a man. Pretty much straightaway she started having misgivings about what she was doing to her body. 

However, surrendering to the pressure from the transgender community, and the medical professionals who had her in care, she decided to continue the treatment.

Five years later, when her organs started shutting down, she finally made the decision to come off the testosterone altogether and detransition. 

In this episode Rachel and I discuss the devastating effects peer pressure can have, the importance of listening to and trusting your inner voice and why it's ok to have sexual preferences. 

Here's Rachel's Twitter thread we mentioned in the episode and here's her interview with Benjamin Boyce on The Boyce of Reason.

Follow Rachel on Twitter @habituallyfemme or get in touch with her [email protected] 

The book: Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias' Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships

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Follow us on Twitter @toughlovepc or on Instagram @missleonardis