Tough Ship: A DS9 Cast

What happens when the swolest reptile from the Gamma Quadrant crosses paths with Starfleet’s hardest working everyman? A space bromance, that’s what. 

Before Project Hail Mary gave us Grace and Rocky, we had Tosk and O’Brien against the world. Competence, it turns out, IS a universal language. 

Ride along with Liz and Meagan as they chart a course to answer:

• Is oatmeal the zenith of 24th century human cuisine?
• Just how brilliant IS the promenade set?
• Is Odo...good at fighting?

• Can we land a craft-forward sponsor?
• Will Grits ever stop chewing Meagan's mic?
• Is Avery Brooks spiritually even more British than Patrick Stewart?
• How did Miles become the official DS9 welcome wagon?

(Answers: No. Very. Genuinely unclear. Fingers crossed! Never. Maybe. Competence, obviously.)

Could they have solved the Tower of Babel incident with a round of Charades?

Liz and Meagan sort it out as DS9 battles a rapidly-spreading virus that interferes with speech and language. Hilariously, only Quark and Odo are spared. Thus begins (drumroll) our first Quodosode, which writer Liz insists is a technically perfect hour of television. Artist Meagan agrees. BravOdo!

So sit down, relax and sip on an ice-cold Ferengi Starduster (extra straw!) while we attempt to answer the following:

- Does Dr. Bashir want to f**k this virus?

- Is it still considered kidnapping if you *intend* to return them?

- Does anyone on this station understand the concept of quarantine?

- Would Bajoran standup be funny?

- Why does Liz’s Odo impression sound like Yoda?

(Answers: Yes. Yes. No. Super no. Insufficient low vocal register.)

What’s worse—murder, or the O'Brien’s marriage?

This week, Liz and Meagan tackle the first Odo-centered episode of DS9. (An Odosode, if you will.)

We also witness the birth of one of television’s best pairings: Quark and Odo. (Quodo, if you will.)

Aaaanyway, it’s a murder mystery! CSI: Terok Nor! Someone got whacked mid-holomassage, which leads to a spirited disagreement between our hosts about cleaning protocols in Quark’s X-rated holosuites. 

Join us as we advocate for the space-divorce of Starfleet’s busiest Task Rabbit and his wife, the former Chief Plant Officer of the USS Enterprise-D. Sit back as we speculate on the Klingon equivalent of Earth’s Vulcan compound and compare our mutual therapist’s wisdom to that of the 350-year old Dax symbiont.

And finally, we admire Jake and Nog’s budding interspecies friendship which is both unprecedented and complicated...yet still far more solid than the O’Brien’s. 

We also kind of answer:

- Is a Jumjat Stick more like a popsicle or a lollypop?

- Can a theme song give you a hug?

- Where are the Dolomites?

- Does Liz really not know that mold has DNA?*

P.S. Liz would like everyone to know it was a bit and in fact she knows all about DNA. Meagan would like you to know that we had to cut several minutes of recording where Liz attempts to prove this.

Lt. Julian Bashir: brilliant doctor or dangerous moron?

Elim Garak: A finely tuned dressage horse? The ultimate Slytherin? Tinker, tailor, soldier, maybe-spy? 

In this week's episode, Bashir tries his hand at espionage—which works out aboooooout as well as Kira tattling to Starfleet Corporate. Yet Sisko remains effortlessly excellent at his job while Odo slays on the Promenade with one-liners.

We revel in the return of the Duras sisters, but the only thing less subtle than their wheeling and dealing is their (glorious) Klingon kleavage.

Finally, in the outtro, Meagan verbally pens a scene truly worthy of Quark, who is tragically missing from this otherwise-perfect episode.

P.S. A PSA for our listeners: if you’re gonna buy black-market space WMDs in the Alpha Quadrant, always check the dark side of the moon(s) for hidden River-abouts.

P.P.S. this episode features special guest and Foe of the Pod Grits, Meagan's Chaotic Neutral cat.

Liz and Meagan finally engage with The Fandom!

Join us as we recap friendship’s final frontier: our very first Convention. Our Star Trek First Con, if you will.

And it's the mother of all Cons: STLV 2024. (Vibe: Go hard, go boldly, go unhinged.)

Fueled by a mix of childlike delight and ill-advised Room Wine (Kendall Jackson’s finest, obvi), we brave the unforgiving heat of Las Vegas and get VERY emotional about all things Star Trek, including but not limited to the actors and writers on the weekends galaxy of panels. 

Find out which one of us:

And to quote Frank Sinatra's classic song about Star Trek:

🎵We cruuuushed the biggest Con,

We fan-girled out and had a field day

And more, much more than this

We did Con ourrrrrr way.🎵

Meagan & Liz BOLDLY tackle the second half of the pilot and ask ourselves: Has any show portrayed trauma as beautifully and accurately as DS9?

Between cracking hole jokes,* we manage to have a heartfelt discussion about how the hell this 90's show managed to so effectively capture what it’s like to live with unresolved trauma. 

We also examine the singular purgatory of having to explain the concept of linear time to hostile Socratic aliens as they simultaneously threaten your life and force you to relive the worst day of said life. (Damn, Prophets.)

And for all you burgeoning #girlbosses out there, come study at the feet of GOAT Kira Neyrs as she bluffs a Cardassian warship with only her moxy and some snazzy sensor work (h/t Miles O’Brien). 

*one might say too many! We respectfully disagree.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Deep Space Nine (fmr Terok Nor)!

Has a pilot ever come in SO HOT? We don't think so.

Meagan and Liz tackle the first half of the fabulous DS9 pilot, "Emissary," in which the Trek franchise finally shows hole.

Listen in as we yell about DS9's excellent writing, then cringe a little as we say a character is "coming in at a 10" waaaaay too many times and somehow don't notice the repetition.

Join us as we roll our eyes at the Bajoran religion, wildly and continuously mispronounce "Denorios Belt," and marvel at the ACTING between Patrick Stewart & Avery Brooks.

PS despite her very best efforts, Meagan can't stop Liz from doing terrible character voices or reading ahead (aka talking) about The Wormhole.

We pieced together a bunch of voice memos and VOILA! A quick and dirty lil' trailer for all you Niners fans out there.

Our first episode, the 2-part EMISSARY (Pilot) will be out later this month.

So see ya on the Promenade, but bring your own self-sealing stem bolts this time, k?

DABO!