Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast that reminds you history isn’t just old, it’s unsettlingly familiar.
I’m Alain Touring, and today is March 13th.
Yes, you’ve made it to a Friday the 13th, so well done.
And if you're tuning in while watching your retirement savings evaporate in what some economists are now calling "The Tesla Chainsaw Massacre," this episode might help you feel better, unless you're Tesla stock. In that case, nothing will help.
Let’s start with some notable birthdays.
Percival Lowell, born in 1855, was an astronomer whose theories helped lead to the discovery of Pluto. Though, fun twist, he never lived to see it confirmed. Kind of like pitching a Netflix series and then getting canceled before the pilot airs.
Adam Clayton, born in 1960, is the bassist for U2, a band that’s been soundtracking dad workouts and Bono speeches since the 80s.
And Emile Hirsch, born in 1985, who brought the wild-eyed, wanderlust energy to Into the Wild, aka, what happens when you take one semester of philosophy way too seriously.
March 13, 1781 - William Herschel discovered Uranus, a planet that expanded our understanding of the solar system, and gave generations of schoolchildren a lifetime supply of low-effort jokes. Yes, it’s pronounced "YUR-a-nus," but try telling that to a 12-year-old. Or a late-night TV show writer.
Speaking of space, March 13, 1930 saw Clyde Tombaugh announce the discovery of Pluto, kind of a birthday present to Percival Lowell. A proud moment that was later revoked by science when Pluto got demoted to "dwarf planet." It’s the cosmic equivalent of getting invited to the party, only to be told, “Actually, you’re not cool enough. Please leave.” And Percival, you need to return your 75th birthday present.
March 13, 1881 - Tsar Alexander II of Russia was assassinated by a revolutionary group known as the People’s Will. Ironically, he had just signed reforms giving people more freedom, proving that timing really is everything. His death ushered in the reign of Alexander III...less progressive, more "tighten everything and glare at the peasants."
March 13, 1997 - The Phoenix Lights incident, where thousands across Arizona witnessed mysterious lights in the sky. Was it aliens? Was it the military? Did another SpaceX rocket suffer a mid-air kinetic disassembly in flight? No one knows. But it remains one of the most widely reported UFO sightings in history.
During World War II, on this day in 1943, German officers attempted to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Spoiler: they failed. Hitler lived, history went on disastrously, and we were left with one more tragic entry in the “Almost Changed Everything” file.
March 13, 2008 - Apple rolled out its first App Store ads, launching what we now know as modern mobile advertising. A world where "there's an app for that" quickly became "there’s a targeted ad stalking you for that." Still, it's a milestone, if you like your shopping with a side of surveillance.
Speaking of digital persuasion, here’s a more current word from our sponsor.
AD BREAK - Bill & Jimmy's Atomic Coffee
And we’re back! Let’s continue our descent into historical déjà vu.
March 13, 2013 - Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected Pope Francis, becoming the first Jesuit pope and the first from the Americas. Since then, he's been shaking up the Vatican with humility, reform, and the occasional tweet that makes traditionalists twitch.
March 13, 1933 - Banks in the U.S. reopened after FDR’s Bank Holiday, a bold move to stop financial panic during the Great Depression. He followed it with a radio address to reassure the public—something we might consider trying again, assuming we can get anyone to sit still without scrolling.
March 13, 1946 - The U.S. Army tested its first rocket in New Mexico, marking a small step for rockets, but a giant leap toward the Cold War arms race. It was also the unofficial launch of humanity’s obsession with sending metal tubes into space, money be damned.
March 13, 1986 - Microsoft went public, instantly making Bill Gates very rich and setting the stage for decades of awkward PowerPoint transitions and inevitable software updates at the worst possible moment.
And finally, March 13, 1996 - the Dunblane school massacre in Scotland. A horrific tragedy that led to sweeping gun control laws in the UK. A sobering reminder that tragedy doesn’t have to lead to inaction. It can lead to real change, at least in some places.
That’s it for March 13th. If you enjoyed the episode, subscribe, leave a review, and remember: history doesn’t just echo—it sometimes screams in the background while you’re trying to check your stock portfolio. See you tomorrow!
0000015F 0000015F 00002AFC 00002AFC 0005535E 0005535E 00007E86 00007E86 0004601A 0004601A