Traffic Therapy

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the dark,

Not a creature was stirring, except for the shark.

The stocking were hung by the chimney with care,

But unfortunately Christmas was canceled that year.

Perhaps 'cause the temperature had gotten too toasty

Or perhaps 'cause the Christmas ghosts had gotten too ghosty.

But I heard, as a Netflix special started to play,

Hey, check out my dreidel, it's made out of clay.

Imagine, if you dare, your greatest fear. Perhaps it’s a café that’s actually a NPR show. Or it may be a mermaid stockpiling nuclear weapons. Or a magical talking gym bag, an electrified tenor, or a lengthy download untimely interrupted. The mere thought of such terrors could understandably drive you to hid in your neighbor’s refrigerator; your only solace being the knowledge that such things are only possible in… The Mysterious Dimension.

Track List

1. Oh What a Night

2. Thingamabombs

3. Reboot

4. Terry Gross' Fresh Coffee

5. The Mysterious Dimension (brought to you by Sheath)

6. Kavanaugh (parody of Havana by Camila Cabello)

7. In My Fridge

8. Gym Bag

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Remember back when you'd go to your friend's house after school and play video games for hours and eat junk food and not worry about the giant nearby volcano threatening to erupt? Where have the years gone? Are they in some lost city? Perhaps out in the vast reaches of space, that final frontier... all I know is my conscience wants me to give my custom character more hair.

I'm thrilled this episode features the song Shigeru Miyamoto, by Jonathan Mann from his original work, "The Mario Opera." Keen listeners of Traffic Therapy may have noticed we occasionally, and very subtly, reference musicals. I guess musicals are similar to audio dramas, and one of my favorites has been "The Mario Opera" since I first heard it in high school. Be sure to check out Jonathan Mann's other work at www.jonathanmann.net. He's been busy writing a new song every day since 2009. That must be like... fifty songs by now.

Track List

1. Custom Character

2. Vulcanologist

3. Hair

4. Conscience

5. Shigeru Miyamoto (original song from "The Mario Opera" by Jonathan Mann)

6. Tri-Dimensional Chess

7. Lost City (Sponsored by Sheath)

8. The Most Challenging Game

Click here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! Want more? Visit our website at www.TrafficTherapyPodcast.com and follow us on twitter and instagram.

Excavating any lost cities soon? Use the promo code BEAST when shopping at sheathunderwear.com!

What you see isn't always what you get. For instance, that peanut butter and spaghetti sandwich may actually be a chocolate vase. But hey, if someone offers you a free sample, why not try it? Remember in 2006 when everyone was shaking soda cans and eating green eggs? I don't, but then again, I'm not a superhero like SuperHeroMan.

Track List

1. Anti-Custom Sandwiches

2. 2006 Called

3. Antiques Roadshow

4. Don't Shake That Soda Can!

5. SuperHeroMan Press Conference (Sponsored by Sheath)

6. Green Eggs and Ham

7. Free Sample

8. The Foley Artist

What you hear will always be what you get when you click here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! Want more? Visit our website at www.TrafficTherapyPodcast.com and follow us on twitter and instagram.

Episode 10, "Batman Salad." Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na SALAAAAAD!

Track List

1. Salad

2. Emergency Broadcast

3. Batman Salad

4. Mac, PC, and Liam Neeson

5. John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

The only thing healthier than salad is laughter. Never miss a serving by clicking here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! Want more? Visit our website at www.TrafficTherapyPodcast.com and follow us on twitter and instagram.

Episode 9, “Do You Hear the People Pick a Flag Color?” What’s the secret of my success? Well, it all goes back to this one time I pitched an idea for a Baby TV network about Baristas who lived under my bed. It was such a hit, it started a revolution! But I digress.... or do I?

Track List

1. Elevator Pitch

2. There’s Barista Under My Bed!

3. Baby Entertainment

4. Do You Hear the People Pick a Flag Color?

5. The Secret of My Success

Your time is valuable. That’s why it only takes us 15 minutes to fill your day with laughter. Never miss a fill-up by subscribing to Traffic Therapy on itunes! Want more? Visit our website at www.TrafficTherapyPodcast.com and follow us on twitter and instagram.

Episode 8, “Guacamole Money.” Summer’s here! And that means it’s back! My third, jelly-averse personality, that is. But relax, as long as you’re gellin’, it’s only a matter of time before you win American Ninja Warrior and are rolling in that guacamole money!

Track List

1. It's Back!

2. American Ninja Warrior

3. Gellin'

4. Guacamole Money (original song)

5. Jekyll and Hyde and Clyde

Make every commute a vacation by clicking here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! For more sketches and info, visit our website at www.traffictherapypodcast.com and on twitter and instagram.

Episode 7, "Music of the Night." Who is that mysterious apparition haunting the Paris Opera House? And why does he never tip? What a rude rudy! As any lawyer who was recently a cow will tell you, if you don't tip, you'll be scolded over the phone small discrepancies. That's all the announcements, now the enjoy the show!

Track List

1. Pre-show Announcements

2. Legal Advice

3. Square Tipping

4. Music of the Night

5. A Few Notes

6. Post-show Announcements

Episode 6, "Marvel's Predictive Text Avengers." What an age we live in; there are videos on the internet of animals so cute, not even Batman can resist, phones can do so many things... including feel unimaginable pain, and have you tried the cheesecake at Mindy's? Have you? HAVE YOU?

We've even got a sketch written my a computer. Thanks to Botnik, we uploaded the script to Marvel's Avengers and it used predictive text to write a sketch. Visit http://botnik.org/ to learn more about how computers will soon replace writers.

Track List

1. Alfred Shows Batman a Video of Baby Panda in the Zoo

2. Low Battery Pain

3. Marvel's Predictive Text Avengers

4. Eat the Cheesecake

5. Batman Shows the Justice League a Video of a Baby Panda in the Zoo

6. Credits (sung to Bohemian Rhapsody)

Hear every episode and so much more by clicking here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! For more sketches and info, visit our website at www.traffictherapypodcast.com

Episode 5, "Train Titanic." Do you like sand? I mean, do you really like sand? Well then you'll love this episode! Have a mediocre time with Mr. Lincoln, find out if Terry Gross every gets around to interviewing her guest, and witness one of the most famous tragic steam train sinkings in history. And if you didn't used to fear napkins mysteriously appearing in your pockets, you will now.

1. Sand

2. Mediocre Moments with Mr. Lincoln

3. Long NPR Intro

4. Pocket Napkins (original song)

5. Train Titanic

Hear every episode and so much more by clicking here to subscribe to Traffic Therapy on itunes! For more sketches and info, visit our website at www.traffictherapypodcast.com