I know what gratitude is supposed to be this amazing thing that improves our health and all that. But sometimes, I'm in that much a funk, writing gratitude lists just makes me feel even worse. Like "great, I'm so broken and ungrateful, that even all these lovely things in my life don't make any difference. What's wrong with me?!"

But over the years, I've managed to find - what I reckon - is a good way of noticing nice things around, and affirming signs of humanity. It won't necessarily pull you out of a depression, but I think it's pretty fool proof if you want to be a bit grounded and find something cheering in your surroundings.

Before that though, I reflect on being hyper conscious of people with LOUD voices, and generally irritating noises.

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It's another day of can't be arsed! Which entails a lot of sitting around in my apartment, looking at my laptop. The only issue is, I have neighbours who can potentially see it all. Is it really so shameful if other people see how inactive I sometimes am.

I talk about the lengths I go to to stop people seeing my 'shameful habits' and wonder why it's so important that total strangers don't judge me.

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After yesterday's rant about a work acquaintance, Steve, I read an email that made me realise I'd been hasty in my wrath. Sorry Steve!

This makes me reflect on how sensitive I've been lately. An innocuous text message from a friend can have me fuming. A bit of (unasked for) advice from my dad had me crying in frustration and mentally deciding that our relationship was done for!

Thankfully, I've been somewhat able to keep myself in check and not burn down all my bridges. But man, it's been a tough week.

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I basically have a big offload about a guy (who I call Steve...until I don't), and miscommunication at work.

I know I constantly go on about ADD. But honestly, I was only diagnosed about 2.5 years ago. So I'm still figuring it all out and observing how much it affects so many aspects of my daily life. And f*cking hell, it affects a lot!

Not everything is down to that though. It's also down to being socialised as a woman and dealing with all the usual things that come with that socialisation - self-doubt, imposter syndrome, dealing with different communication styles to the opposite sex! Crikes, that's also a lot to deal with too.

So anyway, after a work miscommunication, I'm really wound up. I tell you all about it, as well as noticing how much a "small thing" has affected me over the last 14 hours.

Oh, trigger warning, I briefly mention having experienced an eating disorder for 30 years....completely got my maths wrong, it was closer to 20 years.

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You don't have to be neurodivergent to benefit from boundary setting. Perhaps you're a chronic people pleaser or generally prone to anxiety and depression. Or perhaps you find that you seem to keep ending up in annoying relationships, exhausting social interactions, or just fed-up of all the people! Good news, while locking yourself away and becoming a hermit is one solution, it's not the only one. You can also set healthier boundaries for yourself. Yes, I know this word has been used LOADS in the past few years, and sounds a bit too "therapy talk", but they're so important for healthy relationships, your self-esteem and all-round health and peace of mind.

After my current spout of anxiety & sensitivity, I reflect on recent interactions and how I can keep setting better boundaries to maintain my health and sanity.

The boundaries I talk about might seem like kind of small things, but they're a great place to start. Because like anything, being able to set boundaries is like exercising a new muscle. Start small & simple, and just keep practising it. In fact, the more you set boundaries in low-stake interactions (like a random man in a bar, or a loose acquaintance) the better you'll get at setting them with scary people like family members, best friends, bosses & romantic partners.

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Keeping things literal today. If you're into feet, this is the voice note for you baby! Do you have bunions? Do you think they're just down to genetics? Or that there's nothing to be done about them? Wrong.

Find out why you actually have bunions. Although men suffer from them too (just check out my dad's feet if you're brave enough),you'll find misogyny has a lot to do with it.

While I'm not a doctor or chiropodist, I reckon I can tell you some better information than a lot of them. If you've got kids and you're concerned about them developing bunions too, you probably want to listen to this.

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Sorry for leaving things a while. As I share with you in this voice note, I've had a lot of anxiety recently and my nervous system has felt out of whack. Which has made it really hard to talk coherently. I chat to you about how much more there is to think about in modern life, compared to 'back in the day', y'know when we were hunter gatherers and didn't have to deal with an overload of news, decisions, different social interactions, debating about politics and structural inequalities, or what to buy our brother-in-law for Christmas.

OK, I know barely anything about hunter gatherers and the tribal life vibes. I don't even know how long ago that was. But I'm pretty sure they didn't have so much faff to process on a daily basis.

I talk about what happens to me when I get this system-overload. Perhaps this is related to being neurodivergent, but it's deffo a fact that no human brain is designed to process all this information and constant input. No wonder the world's going to pot!

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The ick is a concept that's become pretty mainstream over the past few years. I was thinking about why and when people get icks in relationships - where they come from, and what your subconscious is trying to convey to you when you have one.

I chat about a friend who often gets the ick after a few weeks of dating. In one of these relationships, the young guy she was dating sometimes spoke about wanting to be a soldier in WWII. To be fair, that'd put me off anyone, too! But I psycho-analyse her and why this tends to happen in her tinder flings.

That leads me to thinking about Erica and Jordon from 2023's MAFS UK, and how she said his haircut gave her the ick on their wedding day. On reflection, the guy was obviously trying to look like a famous young football player. Which is icky because it shows that he's basically trying to live off his vague resemblance to someone else. Doesn't show much character or self-confidence does it?

I finish off saying that, even if an ick seems superficial, judgey or plain fussy, you should still acknowledge it as it might be telling you something deeper about yourself.

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I've stopped thinking about Kieran from the latest series of MAFS UK, and have turned my attention to Luke. What was going on with that guy? Why could he seem genuinely decent, and then genuinely creepy? How could he show self-reflection and empathy, but then be so immature and thoughtless? His fixation on sex talk, as a way to bond or whatever makes me question whether he's just grown up watching too much porn. Ew.

Think about it. He tries to turn every scene and scenario into the opening of a porn scene (stripping off at any excuse), constantly talks about sexual acts even when the other person does not want to engage, and equates a proper relationship with sex sex sex. And listen, I'm not saying sex isn't an important part of an adult relationship. But it's just one bit of it. And it's irrelevant if the other stuff (trust, respect, intimacy, support etc. etc.) isn't there.

And of course, I give my own take on his final words in that letter to Amy, about doing things to bum holes.

Whatever the reason, this is obviously someone who needs to develop a few skills before he's ready for a proper, adult relationship. Let's hope he figures things out!

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Just having a rant about people who set up their mobile phones in yoga classes. Ew, why? And if my camel toe is accidentally captured in the background..then, well I guess you're welcome. Gym selfies, recorded exercise routines....I don't get it. You're already working out, who has the extra headspace to record themselves on their phone too? I get that some people are influencers and their livelihood depends on it. I also get that sometimes people capture 'interesting interactions' that they're then compelled to share online. And I get that many gyms now depend on it for marketing. Doesn't mean I have to like it though! I did notice a sign that my local free outdoor yoga class has now banned people from using their phones during the class, and I'm all for it! Like, who needs to have their phone out during a yoga class anyway?

p.s Not that I'm "on the apps" anymore, but when I was, any kind of gym selfie was an absolute turn-off for me. It's like tell me you're basic, without telling me you're basic. Right?

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