This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost discuss Melody Beattie’s ground-breaking book Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself and the companion Codependent No More Workbook. 2016 marks the 30th anniversary of the book, and to date more than 8 million copies have been sold, 6 million in the US. This will be the next book in our Cafe Book Club series.

According to Melody, codependency is the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another, often while struggling with a loved one’s self-destructive behavior.

“Codependents need boundaries. We need to set limits on what we shall do to and for people”.

The key principles of the book continue to resonate: Knowing when to say no and when to say yes. Taking responsibility for your choices. Setting boundaries. Learning to let go.  Forgiveness after feeling your feelings–not before. Self-expression. Loving others but loving yourself too.

 

Cafe Book Club Schedule

You can join us live Tuesdays at 8 PM PST by calling 646-727-3206.

December 6: Part 1 : What’s Codependency, and Who’s Got It?  which covers chapters 1 – 4 of Codependent No More. Workbook Lesson 3 chap 3; Workbook Lesson 5 chap 4

December 13: Part 2: Chapters 5-9; Workbook Lesson 4 chap 7; Workbook Lesson 10 chap 8

December 20: Part 2 – Chapters 10-14; Workbook Lesson 3 chap 12; Workbook Lesson 6 chap 10

December 27: Dark – no show this week

January 2: Part 2 Chapters 15-20; Workbook Lesson 7 chap 17; Workbook Lesson 8 chap 20; Workbook Lesson 9 chap 18

Information about Melody:

Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles.  Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986.  Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child.

In this week’s podcast we welcome Debbie Carreon to discuss how some fitness clubs are changing from some place just to exercise, to a place where you can develop friendships and build a sense of community.

Strengthening Community Ties

Beyond just the desire to look good and be fit, the issue that’s becoming increasingly important, especially as our population ages, is community. Social isolation is a serious issue, and can lead to many health-related problems that have a wide-reaching effect. One reason people join a fitness facility is to feel they are part of a social network. In addition to having a fun place to meet people, members are engaging in healthy activities.

The relationship between personal trainers and clients becomes even more important as clients enter their golden years. Some clubs mix young, energetic trainers with older clients; it is good for both parties. It’s equally important to have older people on staff to reflect how everyone at every age contributes to a sense of belonging. An older workforce brings wisdom and fosters mentorship, which strengthens community.

The Happiness Quotient

Ultimately, people want to be happy. In most cases, a buying decision is rooted in the desire for happiness, whether the purchase is a vacation, a new car, a better house or new shoes; the underlying motivation for spending money is happiness. When someone is considering buying a membership or personal training package, she is imagining a healthier body. Why have a healthier body? To be happier and more satisfied with life. A healthy body is important to overall happiness and peace of mind. It’s hard to be happy when the thought of clothes shopping causes despair or when you’re in constant pain and discomfort. Some people even fear pursuing happiness because they believe the pursuit is selfish, impossible or both.

Trainers that understand this fear and the desire for happiness have empathy for customers and support them on their journeys to health and happiness. This desire for happiness is not only a possibility; it’s a necessity for a fulfilling life! Happy people create more happiness.

Guest: Debbie Carreon, General Manager 24 Hour Fitness

On this week’s show we welcome back Mikki Wade, a pastor and certified grief recovery practitioner. Mikki describes what grief is, describes the signs to look for in yourself and others, and discusses some of the common myths associated with grief.

 

What is grief?

According to John W. James and Russell Friedman, “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change of a familiar pattern of behavior.”

Grief can be the result of any change, positive or negative. It can be triggered by death of a loved one, divorce, loss of health, loss of a job, financial issues, abuse, and many other events. It can also be triggered by positive changes like getting a new job and moving to a new city.

Recommended Resources

Updated to commemorate its 20th anniversary, the Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman further explores the effects of grief and sheds new light on how to begin to take effective actions to complete the grieving process and work towards recovery and happiness.

Common responses to grief:

Reduced concentration – you may go the the kitchen and then forget why you went there

A sense of numbness – physically, emotionally, or both

Disturbed sleep patterns – not being able to sleep or sleeping too much, or both alternately

Change in eating habits – grievers may have no appetite or may eat nonstop, or both alternately

Roller coaster of emotional energy – emotional highs and lows that can be emotionally and physically draining

These are all normal and natural responses to loss. Their duration is unique to every individual. They are not stages and they do not always occur. Do not allow anyone to create time frames or stages for you.

Trying to overcome grief with your head is like trying to paint a room with a hammer. Good luck with that.

Myths about grief:

The following are common ways we’re told to get over grief, either directly or modeled by the behavior of others. They are labeled “myths” because these methods are no more effective than treating a gushing wound to the body by “just getting over it” would be.

Don’t feel bad – don’t cry, just get over it, etc. Trying to suppress your natural reaction to loss won’t make things better.

Replace the loss – replace the loss with food, or a substitute for what or who you’ve lost. Daughter: “My dog died!” Dad: “Don’t cry, we’ll buy you another dog on Saturday”.

Grieve alone – don’t cry in front of others. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone”. We’re told to hide our feelings and not bother others.

Just give it time – “Time heals all wounds”. No it doesn’t. Actions taken over time heals the wound.

Be strong for others – We say “I’m fine” when asked how we are, even if we’re not fine. We perpetuate the lie and act like there is nothing wrong.

Keep busy – being busy will keep your mind off your loss, and you’ll eventually get over it. Again, this doesn’t work.

A griever needs to be listened to, not fixed.

About Mikki Wade

In this timely episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Mikki Wade, a grief recovery specialist and life coach. This show was recorded on November 8 – Election Night in the U.S.

Amy observes that whatever happens with the U.S. election, nearly 50% of the population is going to be unhappy. The night of the election as people began to realize the outcome, some people were happy and excited, and others were shocked and depressed. The only thing that is certain is that the future is uncertain. Change is hard, and even positive change can cause uneasiness and anxiety.

Since the election there has been protests in major U.S. cities: Los Angeles; New Haven, Connecticut; Orlando; Chicago; Boston; Asheville, North Carolina; Nashville; and Columbus, Ohio, and there were marches at schools in Denver and Omaha, Nebraska. Groups across the country are angry about policies Trump has promised to enforce concerning immigration, the environment, LGBT rights and other issues.

Some people are trying to stay positive and keep an open mind, where others are struggling to cope with the new reality. It is perfectly natural to feel sad, depressed, angry, fearful, and a host of other emotions. These are all symptoms of grief, and now about half of the country is experiencing some form of it.

Dealing with Post-Election Anxiety

Cosmopolitan magazine has a great article called 14 Effective Ways to Deal with Post-Election Anxiety.  “Feeling out of control can cause symptoms of fear, depression, and anxiety,” says Dr. Jennifer Caudle, DO, family physician, assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, who’s counseled scores of patients suffering from stress and anxiety.

The transitional period between administrations only worsens the situation. “Uncertainty almost always increases anxiety, so it’s totally normal to feel anxious after an election,” says Dr. Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a Manhattan-based psychologist. “Even if you’re pleased with the chosen candidate, you still don’t know exactly what life will be like with the changes ahead.”

Another good article from PositivelyPresent.com includes a section on 4 Ways to Accept What Is (Even When It’s Sad).

Amy recommends reading “A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama’s Vision for Our World” by Daniel Goleman.

“Far from being a self-help book, this examines specific ideas espoused by the Dalai Lama, such as emotional hygiene, compassionate economy, and education of the heart that can make the world a better place. An optimistic and thoughtful primer with practical applications.”—Booklist

Maybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see.

There is a Chinese Proverb that goes something like this…

A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

This week host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome Catie Fitzgerald to discuss eating guilt-free for the holidays, how foods can help you feel calmer, have more energy, and even boost your immune system. Catie will share ways to modify recipes so they are not only have fewer calories, and are better for you, but are also more flavorful.

Catie is a former professional figure skater and ballet dancer, and has had a passion for personal health and fitness from an early age. At age 16 Catie’s mother lost a battle with cancer, which made her want to learn more about what we can do to help our bodies to be healthy and prevent disease. Catie will be completing a Master’s degree in Holistic Nutrition in the next few months.

What is an optimal diet?

An optimal diet really starts with whole foods; foods that come in the package that mother nature provided. It also focuses on organic foods because they are exposed to fewer synthetic pesticides and herbicides, which reduces the overall toxin burden on our body. These toxins are known to cause cancer and other diseases in increase aging.

Organic foods are expensive. What if I can’t afford to buy all organic?

If buying all organic foods is not within your budget, the Environmental Working Group (EWG) recommends that you at least buy “The Dirty Dozen“, which have the highest amount of residual pesticides and herbicides present on their surface or within their flesh. Strawberries and apples are at the top of the list. See the Resources section below for links to additional articles.

Eat Seasonally

Another tip is to eat seasonally. Seasonal foods are those foods that are at their peak during that time of year. Here’s a link to a Seasonal Food Guide for the United States. Just select your state and choose the month or produce to see when it is is season. There’s also a Seasonality Table from the BBC that includes fruit, vegetables, meat and game, and fish and seafood. We’ve also included another link in the Resources section.

Eat Locally Grown Food

“Locally grown” refers to food and other agricultural products (for example, wool or flowers) that are grown or produced, processed and then sold within a certain area. However, there’s no standard definition of “local,” and so businesses touting their “locally grown products” may be using very different definitions. A distance of 100 miles is generally accepted as “local”, but some stores will say it’s local if it’s grown in the same state.

The advantage of eating locally is that the food did not have to be packed and trucked long distances before it gets to you, which diminishes its nutritional value. Also supporting local growers has an impact on the economy of the area in which you live. Makes sense to me.

Four Ways Food Can Be Your Friend

Foods can help keep you immune system strong – eat foods high in vitamin A, C, and E. Zinc is useful to help prevent colds.

Food can help provide the additional energy required to get through the long busy days that the holidays evoke – eat foods rich in

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe podcast, host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost talk about making the most out of the holiday season, and offer some ideas on how you can make them more meaningful.

Here are just a few of the great tips from the article 25 Ways to Fight Holiday Stress from Health.com.

Hike your mood with sunlight

It stimulates the production of feel-good serotonin and also helps relieve seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which impacts millions of Americans every year, says Judith Orloff, MD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles.

To ease SAD symptoms, spend time outdoors or near a window on sunny days, or ask your doc about phototherapy (a treatment using a box that emits full-spectrum light).

Walk away from worries

Walking has a tranquilizing effect on your brain, it decreases anxiety and improves your sleep.

Do less, enjoy more

Instead of going overboard trying to please others during the holidays and attending every event, take care of yourself and say “no” to at least once, maybe more.

Forget perfection

Stop obsessing over doing it all. The world is not going to end if the house is a little cluttered or dinner is on the table a few minutes late.

Eat breakfast before you tank up on coffee

Caffeine on an empty stomach can cause blood sugar levels to spike, which can cause attention problems and irritability.

Don’t overschedule

If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by your holiday agenda, don’t over schedule your time and take on more than you can manage. Remember: It’s OK to slow down a bit.

Next week we’ll continue our discussion on stress-free holidays. Our guest will be Katie Fitzgerald, and she’ll help us learn how to eat food that loves us back!

In this episode host Robin Masiewicz  welcomes Rachael Sand, Psy. D., to discuss the fascinating field of Holistic Psychotherapy.

What is Holistic Psychotherapy?

Holistic psychotherapy, an integrative approach grounded in psychosynthesis, focuses on the relationship between mind, body, and spirit, attempting to understand and address the ways issues in one aspect of a person can lead to concerns in other areas.

Those pursuing holistic therapy may, with the support of a qualified mental health professional, become better attuned to their entire awareness, which can often promote greater acceptance of the self.

As Dr. Sand explains, traditional psychology focuses on the mind and the psyche.  Holistic psychotherapy is more than talk therapy; it recognizes that we are whole organisms and that everything is inter-related. Your mind is related to how your body is doing. How your body is doing affects how you think, and all of that affects how you feel; they all interact together.

Some people intellectualize and gain insight through thinking and talking, other people are very in touch with their emotions. Some tend to express themselves physically, so when they are feeling off they may go for a run. Holistic psychotherapy looks at how the person generally approaches their lives, whether intellectual, emotional, or physical. It utilizes complementary services like massage, acupuncture, or yoga therapy as part of the treatment. The goal is to achieve a balance between mind, body, and spirit and to achieve the deepest levels of healing possible.

Non-traditional therapies involved in Holistic Psychotherapy

Non-traditional therapies tap into various levels of mind-body-spirit healing. They have a strong spiritual component, incorporating elements of transpersonal psychology, energy medicine, and other traditions of healing. These therapies may include hypnosis, breath therapy, guided imagery, and other techniques.

For more information on how Holistic Psychotherapy works and links to finding a therapist in your area, check out GoodTherapy.org.

About Rachael Sand

Rachael B. Sand, Psy.D. is a psychologist with a private health psychology practice specializing in the balancing of mind/body/instincts towards natural well being. She is passionate about helping her clients find balance in their lives, clearing their fears and limiting beliefs, and learning to listen to and trust their instincts.

Dr. Sand is trained in traditional clinical psychology, hypnosis, and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) with an emphasis in cognitive-behavioral therapy approaches and energy psychology techniques.

She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the Maryland Psychological Association (MPA), the Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), and the National Institute of Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM), where she is a member of their Leadership Council. Rachael is currently a staff psychologist at the Veterans Transition Resource Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.

For contact information visit RachaelSand.com.

amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0";

amzn_assoc_enable_interest_ads = "true";

amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "transfcafe-20";

amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "auto";

amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart";

amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon";

amzn_assoc_region = "US";

amzn_assoc_linkid = "3b50f876d96a6614d2c9f54e157f2c64";

amzn_assoc_emphasize_categories = "283155";

In this week’s podcast Robin and her guest Marvine Lindberg discuss Near Death Experiences (NDEs), a phenomenon that has become the subject of serious scientific study.

Marvine recounts her own near death experience that occurred when she was 24 and undergoing surgery. She tells of meeting her grandfather and having conversations with other people dressed in white, and being given the choice of staying or going back to her body. This was at a time before the phenomenon of NDEs even had a name, let alone were discussed in the open.

The term “Near Death Experiences” was coined by Raymond Moody, MD, PhD in the 1970s. In his landmark book Life After Life, Dr. Moody investigated more than one hundred case studies of people who experienced “clinical death” and were subsequently revived.

In the podcast, Robin mentions an article called “The Mystical Impact of Near Death Experiences” by Bruce Greyson, PhD. Dr. Greyson concludes the article this way: “At the very least, near-death experiences should foster spiritual growth by leading us to question some of our basic assumptions about mind and brain, about our relationship to the divine, and about the universe and our role in it.”

Research has shown that individuals from different cultures and backgrounds relate very similar elements when they recount what they experienced during near-death. In the video below, Dr. Greyson observes that individuals from different cultures don’t share the same vocabulary, but do describe similar experiences. What a westerner would describe as “a tunnel”, someone from a third-world country might describe as “a cave”. It’s also worth noting that they are trying to put an an experience that is ineffable – something not able to be described in words – into words.

In the video below, Dr. Greyson talks about consciousness without brain activity.

Resources:

The Mystical Impact of Near Death Experiences – article by Bruce Greyson.

Life after Life Institute

International Association for Near Death Studies

List of References from “The Self Does Not Die”

Do you know of someone that has had a near death experience? Would you believe them if they told you they had?

Marvine’s Bio:

As a result of using Spiritual and Intuitive Guidance, Marvine Lindberg’s life is a unique one. Aside from her private practice, Marvine has worked with the professional fields of Education, Law Enforcement, Medicine, Engineering, Business and Performing Arts. In her private consulting work Marvine has the pleasure of helping hundreds of her clients reach their goals, understand and overcome their fears, improve their health, and enrich the quality of their lives. Marvine has made numerous public appearances and taught throughout California, Washington and Alberta, Canada. She has a Ph.D. in Religious Philosophy and a Certificate of Achievement in Telecommunications, with an emphasis in Television and Film Production.

In this episode of the Transformation Cafe Podcast, we welcome back Louise Carruth, owner of the Little Candle Tea Company in Las Vegas, Nevada, to talk about the little known facts about tea.

Did you know that the fragrance of tea, just like wine, plays a large part in its taste? So make sure to enjoy the aroma as you sip your tea!

Is Herbal Tea really Tea?

Technically any drink you make from an infusion of herbs, spices, or other plants – but doesn’t contain tea leaves – is called a tisane (tea-zahn). These drinks are distinguished from true teas like green, white, yellow, and oolong, which are prepared from the cured leaves of the tea plant Camellia sinensis (cam-MEE-lee-ah sin-EN-sis), so herbal “tea” isn’t technically tea. Still, if you go to a restaurant and order a tisane, you’ll probably be met with a blank stare.

Benefits of White Tea

White tea is the least processed form of tea and has a more delicate flavor. Because of it’s minimal processing it contains more nutrients than black or green tea, making it “the ultimate Health Tea”. You can learn more about the health benefits of white tea at the White Tea Guide.

Benefits of Green Tea

Green tea is considered one of the world’s healthiest drinks and contains one of the highest amount of antioxidants of any tea. It’s been shown to improve brain function, aid in fat loss, and lower risk of cancer. You can learn about the 10 Proven Benefits of Green Tea at Authority Nutrition, and the 11 Benefits of Green Tea You Didn’t Know About from Lifehack.org. There are also numerous medical studies that demonstrate the medicinal benefits of green tea.

Herbal Teas

Herbal teas have been used traditionally for their medicinal effects. Chamomile, for example, helps to calm you and has a mild sedative effect. Teas made from peppermint, spearmint, and other types of mint are often recommended to help soothe digestive issues. I like green tea infused with spearmint and a little honey as a refreshing change of pace.

Recommended Herbal Teas:

* Chamomile

* Mint

* Raspberry Leaf

* Lavender tea

Mint tea is also very popular and is great for soothing your digestive system.

If you would like to order tea online, visit Louise’s The Little Candle Tea Company.

Louise’s Bio

After teaching elementary school for 30 years in California, I decided to retire to Las Vegas. I did teach for one year here, and met a friend who loved drinking coffee, as I still do, and also loose leaf tea. She introduced me to the aromas and flavors of so many teas, my interest was piqued and that was that! I started learning all I could and began a business focusing on tea education. Most of my customers were also new to loose leaf (specialty) tea, and we began the journey together; learning and drinking this most wonderful brew.

In this week’s podcast host Robin Masiewicz and co-host Amy Frost welcome back bestselling author and success coach Ana Weber, author of Passion, Spirit, Purpose – 3 Formulas to the DOXA Method to Empower You to Love Your Life to discuss what we’ve learned from this great little book.

In this interview Ana recaps some ideas from the book, and describes how it has impacted her readers. Ana is now in the process of developing a companion workbook so we can dive deeper into the DOXA method (which we’ll share on here on Transformation Cafe when it’s available).

Amy also tells a story about how she has been applying some of the DOXA principles to her work with veterans and their families, and what she’s experienced as a result. It illustrates how these concepts can be applied in a real-world setting.

Author Biography:

The consummate “people person,” Ana approaches every person and every new experience with joy and love. Her employees love to work with her, and her friends love to be around her. And at every company she has helped to manage, she’s helped engineer massive revenue growth. As an example, she took one company from annual revenues of $250,000 to $62 million in just five years, while creating 83 new full-time jobs. If you ask Ana the secret of her long string of business successes, she’ll tell you it’s all about building relationships.

In addition to her many decades of business experience, Ana has achieved success in multiple parallel careers—as a writer, speaker, personal and business/professional coach, and philanthropist:

Writer:

Since 2005, she’s published 17 nonfiction books on personal improvement, covering personal happiness, time management, healthy eating, business/personal success, parenting and money relationships as well as a novel and a poetry collection. Her books have been featured on some of the top websites in the world, including SheKnows, VenusDivas, American Airlines, USA Weekly, Wall Street Journal and Bank of America Newsletter April, 2013.

As a freelance journalist who has published in Parents Magazine, Lifestyle, USA Today, USA Weekly, Wall Street Journal, Bank of America, American Airlines on flight Magazine, Celebrity, Orange County Register, and TV Guide, she has interviewed dozens of high-profile high achievers, among them supermodel Kathy Ireland, anti-aging expert Dr. William Andrews, and Melanie True Hills—e-business strategist, author, and founder and CEO of the American Foundation for Women’s Health.

Speaker:

Ana’s recent presentations include Canyon Ranch, Avalon European River Cruises (general public); Southwest Airlines, ADP, JetBlue, Virgin Atlantic (corporate), American Institute of Architects National Conference, University of Michigan Annual Education Conference, Eastern Michigan University (academic and professional organizations). University of Delaware. (Detailed list of presentations on request.)

360 Degrees of Success Coach:

Ana has a terrific online course called 360 Degrees of Success. Learn directly from Ana as she provides you with practical tools to maintain a high energy level…merge their passion, talents, skills, educations and experiences…live in the present…and, most importantly, live a balanced, joyful,