Trapped in the Cage with Nicolas Cage

Oh goody, we're back into the weeds of awful Nicolas Cage movies with little to no redeeming value, and Nic's back to sleepwalking through paycheck pictures.

Except for The Croods but that's our bad because we skipped on that one.

We're professionals so we went back to give Mom and Dad the full half-episode treatment it deserves because it's only slightly more terrible than The Humanity Bureau.

Nice.

Y'all, it took me two minutes to sit and try and remember the two movies we talked about on this episode, and we watched them yesterday.

This episode shows us a rare juxtaposition of the dullest and worst Nicolas Cage has to offer with the wildest and worst Nicolas Cage is capable of.

Hey, it's our Fourth of July-week episode! Enjoy this rousing American tale of triumph over adversity through the filter of some of the worst filmmaking decisions we have ever experienced. Also, Nicolas Cage only bothers acting for one of his many scenes in this terrible picture.

One of these films is from an acclaimed writer and director, and the other is The Trust. Only one of them is even close to watchable. Find out which one is which on this week's episode!

A too-brief reminder that Nicolas Cage is capable of depth and subtlety. Just make sure you've submitted your ghost payments for the month.

Is this truly the End of Days, the time of blood and fire when the world is naught but suffering and pain until the Last Trump sounds, and the worthy are called to Paradise? Naw, dog, this is just two more terrible Nicolas Cage pictures.