Merry Christmas Earthlings.

Can we first apologise to anyone in Croydon who saw a bright star in the sky last night - before any local wise men (or women!) head to Boots to buy up any stocks of Myrrh - we can clarify that someone just temporarily leant on the cloaking device switch in the Alboreto. You'd think it would happen more frequently - but it hasn't happened for about 2000 of your Earth years.

Anyway - onto our guest for this seasonal special - and we're thrilled to talk to the lexicography and etymology queen - Susie Dent

It's a real treat - and our gift to you - a thank you if you've listened to the podcast at all this year. We do appreciate your loyalty.

Have a Merry Christmas, and we'll be back in the New Year.

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Welcome to our BBC special episode where we discuss the *********** of a week where the UK's national broadcaster shot itself in the foot, and then in the other foot and then again in the face.

It comes just a week after the most glorious of success stories for the BBC - The Celebrity Traitors. So as well as focussing on the departure of the Director General and Head of News - we have invited an old friend back to talk about treachery, deceit, lying and generally being a traitor.

Welcome back Paul 'Van Der Traitors' Gorton!

Enjoy

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Bet you didn't know the US Government shutdown also applied to Recyclon podcasts did you?

Well despite the fact that we're not being paid for this - we've decided to shop up anyway - partly because we have a great guest to bring you. Have you seen Chris Barker's brilliant year-in-review montages? You can see them all on his website.

He's been doing them for a decade and this year will be his last. So before he hangs up his Photoshop tools we wanted to find out what inspired them, what stands out and importantly what we can tell from ten years of 'humanity'

It's a fascinating conversation - so do enjoy!

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Greetings Count Binisters.

On the pod this week is the first journalist to EVER interview Count Binface - Sean O'Grady of The Independent. Now Associate Editor at the same paper Sean sits down to once again grill the greatest political mind he's ever encountered*

Don't forget to keep your 'Ask Binface' questions and policy ideas coming in - you can send them to Count Binface on all of the social channels. Except X. Because it's a steaming pile of ****

*Our words not his.

**** You know what we mean.

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Welcome to the FIFTIETH episode of Trash Talk with Count Binface.

What a celebration we have put together - including some truly impressive birthday messages from some of the most powerful people on your planet. They are for legal reasons definitely NOT from Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, or Boris Johnson - they have never written a message for our 50th.

We have asked the AI which secretly runs your planet to pick its favourite highlights from the first fifty episodes. It turns out it made some up - we've never interviewed Roman Kemp... although we might be the only podcast that hasn't. So instead - these are some of our favourite bits.

Thank you for your continued support - this would be the perfect time to write a review, give us a five star rating or make sure you follow us so you'll get the next fifty episodes as we release them.

And as always - if you like this podcast tell everyone you know. If you hate it, because it's made by alien who wears a cape that isn't a flag - then you're probably Reform... so f**k off.

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On this week's potentially award-winning episode of Trash Talk with Count Binface is esteemed Earth comedian Richard Herring.

He's made cancer funny, poked fun at fascism and even made a whole show about your funny human male reproductive organ - so what will 45 minutes with Count Binface bring? Well... has the BBC forgotten how to do comedy? What's the obsession with Edinburgh? And does having teachers for parents make it inevitable that you'll go into comedy.

BREAKING NEWS - as we record this it seems Peter Mandelson (sorry... LORD Peter Mandelson... FFS) has been sacked / asked to stand down / professionally removed from office AGAIN. This unfortunately means we didn't have space to talk about Nadine Dorries, flags on lamp-posts, Angela Rayner, or any of what passes for 'news' in America at the moment.

If you liked this episode may we suggest some others you might like?

Stewart Lee

Ian Hislop

Mark Gatiss

Lewis MacLeod

As ever please leave a review, a 5-star rating and hit follow to make sure you receive new episodes every week.

It's the 50th episode of Trash Talk with Count Binface next week... so maybe we'll receive a nice card or two. Not that we're saying Donald sent that card to Jeffrey, because he definitely didn't. It's fake news that it was in his style & tone and had his signature on the bottom.

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"It's just not cricket" is a British English idiom meaning something is unfair, dishonest, or goes against the rules of decency or morality

So what makes cricket the benchmark of decency? To find out our guest this week is Daniel Norcross one of the most recognisable voices on Test Match Special - the BBC's flagship cricket programme.

Perhaps not surprisingly this is the longest interview we've done - it turns out a man who is trained to speak endlessly often during a break for rain can, well, speak endlessly.

Don't worry though - our human editing team have trimmed it down to the usual Trash Talk length - so if you want to hear Dan's comparison of the cricket off-season to World War 2... you'll have to listen to Test Match Special.

Dan really is a legend - and if you don't like cricket this episode is worth listening to for his sheer passion alone.

Enjoy.

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At last - the intergalactic meeting they've all been asking for!

One of Earth's top podcasters Alastair Campbell in conversation with Sigma IX's pre-eminent (and only) podcaster Count Binface.

After months of negotiations the chat tête-à-bin finally took place in Alaska and by the end of their meeting world peace had been restored, democracy was saved and Burnley had won the Champions' League.

No... none of that happened - except the conversation - that DID happen. Alastair was in France and Count Binface was hovering above Croydon (planning something big) and they spoke about the enormous success of The Rest is Politics, the need to disagree agreeably and Kier Starmer's first year in office. But most importantly of all Alastair applied his political playbook to the Count Binface campaign...

Frost & Nixon, Parkinson & Hull, and now Campbell & Binface.

Get a load of this!

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This week's guest is Zoologist Jules Howard. He likes wasps, thinks a Silverback Gorilla wouldn't be any worse in power than our recent leaders, and has a zoological theory on why Reform voters exist...

... he really is the natural successor to Sir David Attenborough.

If you haven't hit 'FOLLOW' on this podcast yet then this really is the week to do it because YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS NEXT WEEK'S GUEST.

Enjoy!

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Welcome back Count Binisters.

This is the SECOND episode of Project 650 - the mission to interview EVERY sitting MP in the Palace of Westminster. At the current rate of one per year we should have this wrapped up by 2674 which coincidentally is the same year that [REDACTED FOR SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM PROTECTION], which was an extremely unfortunate incident.

If you enjoy this episode here is what you must do immediately after listening.

If you live in the UK write to your local MP and INSIST they make an appearance on Trash Talk.

If you don't live in the UK write to your leader of choice and insist they make an appearance of Trash Talk

If you don't live on Earth write to me to thank me for being your leader

Write a 5* review.

Follow the Podcast

Send me a question for Ask Binface.

Congratulate yourself for being an upstanding member of society.

Really do hit follow - because next week's guest is a BIG ONE.

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