This week I have been contemplating the word and concept of “Control”; I had tried, for so long, to “control” my life, work, relationships  all while meeting so much resistance. The more I tried to control a situation the more it would not work out. I have learned that It is not control over a situation rather; influence over our own emotions about the situation that I/We need to focus on. Instead of allowing the anger, fear, or anxiety over a  situation drive you to want to control over it, take a second, reassess, and approach the situation with the intent you’ve deemed necessary.

List of resources that have been helpful for me on this journey.

Podcasts - Order of Man, The Warrior Soul PodcastBooks- The Second Mountain, David Brooks ; No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Robert A. Glover ; Fearvana, Akshay NanavatiYouTube- Minority Mindset 

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Addiction/ addictive personality is a reality for a lot of people. Drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, food, exercise, reckless activities. These are the common means for that addiction, some “healthier” than others; the root if the problem is still being avoided though. The above coping mechanisms are my typical ones. Some like exercise help “rewire” the brain, flood your body with dopamine, adrenalin and all the good chemicals while forcing out the bad. The key though, is making that HARD CHOICE in the moment. Whatever that hard choice is for you, don’t take the easy route; trust me on that one.

Circular thinking vs “Wave thinking” I’ve been guilty of circular thinking and patterns, feeling like I’m never getting anywhere, repeat the same mistake a few dozen times. That’s circular thinking. In reality I have been making the same mistake over and over again, the difference is each time I have learned from the mistake and adjusted course just slightly. That shows improvement and growth; that thinking changed a circular thought pattern into a wave pattern.

Removing barriers is not a new technique, packing your gym bag the night before, prepping the coffee maker, etc. I need to remove the barriers to be uncomfortable. I am what I refer to as Uncomfortably comfortable, I think the DSM-5 refers to it as hyper-vigilant. Knowing this, I have made plans, and actions to make the hard thing easier to start. 

Another hunting story. The last day of rifle season in NH was epic! Snow, tracking, jumping deer. No buck shot but lots of excitement, needless to say I AM HOOKED!  PATIENCE AJ, PATIENCE!

As a young, 22 year old, Specialist in a combat zone I took over as a fire team leader. Frankly I wasn’t ready and my leadership knew that, they tried to groom me in to the leader they needed; I was rejective towards that. 

Looking at how I’ve lead after leaving the military It is clear to me how maturity, experience, and failure have made me a better leader today. 

 Now as I find this “next step” in life it is clear to me that my purpose is to be a leader, the next question is HOW, in what capacity?

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This time of year we are usually thankful for the good, positive things in our life. This episode I share why I am thankful for the hard times, the unpleasant experiences. 

Quote from Meditations:

 "It is my bad luck that this has happened to me. 'No, you should rather say: 'Its is my good luck that, although this has happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future.' Because such a thing could have happened to any man, but not every man could have borne in without pain. So why see misfortune in the event than good fortune in your ability to bear it? - Marcus Aurelius

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jumbled thoughts this week as I’ve been doing a lot of time thinking; not enough time doing. 

This episode I talk about life changes and how I manage them, how group discipline is easier than self discipline, and my challenge in motivation and goal setting. 

The theme this week seems to be kids…

Is my paternal instinct starting to show? 

War is hell, that doesn’t mean good can’t come from it. This episode I talk about coming under attack from motars while we were passing out heaters and blankets. 

Dealing with the wounded sucks no matter what; Bandaging a wounded child hits on a deeper level. I really hope that brother and sister are still alive, I hope that experience made them stronger enough to survive everything else life has thrown at them. 

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This special Veterans Day episode I open up. 

20 June 2007 

1 AQI (Al-Qaeda Iraq) killed 1 escaped. I recount my actions that day, my actions that still haunt me. 

WAR IS HELL and good men do EVIL in War. I am no exception, this story is only one of many EVIL that I will forever be haunted by.

Withhold your judgment and listen; that is how you can "Thank me for my service".

Push your limits or reach your limits how do you know when to decide what to do? That has been on my mind recently. What does it mean to admit that you've reached your limit?

Listen to how I begin to process those questions myself as well as give you a few stories about the importance of nature.

This episode I have fellow veteran and friend Thomas Kuncheria on to discuss topics ranging from the communal aspect of the military to routines/habits that lend to healthy lifestyles. 

I apologize for the audio quality I am still learning all of this; the content is worth the listen. 

This episode I share the story of my first Bear harvest. I talk about how the season was leading up to Mondays kill, the kill itself, and reflect on how the whole process makes me feel more connected to the world. 

I didn't mention it in the episode so I'll say it here. Eating the meat gives me B.D.B.E. (Big Dick Bear Energy); It makes me feel strong, alert, energized. 

*Note- Bear meat is the leading cause of Trichinosis in the USA, Make sure you cook any Bear meat well. "Well" is a cause for debate some say 145 others say 160. I can say I go for caution and cook to internal temp of 160 and it's still delicious, savory, and (everyones favorite word) MOIST. 

I am so appreciative of that Bear, I cannot say that enough.