Trauma-Informed Parenting

Join me and my special guest, Sandra Flach, of Orphans No More Podcast as we talk through the book FIVE THINGS: A TINY HANDBOOK FOR ADOPTIVE/FOSTER FAMILIES. You can get a copy for free!

If you are an adoptive parent, this is for you.
If you are a friend of an adoptive parent, this is for you.
If you are thinking about adopting/fostering, this is for you.
If you want to know how to support adoptive/foster families, this is for you.

Today we talk about the first point in the book - Adoption is positive, but it takes effort.

Just a note - Trauma-Informed Parenting is not live yet, but you can still your copy here -http://bit.ly/3beAl2T or fill out the contact form on thewholehouse.org! Grab a copy of the book and a cup of coffee and join Sandra and me for this series!

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?

We don’t often talk about our strengths. We usually speak only of our weaknesses. We pray about our weaknesses, rehash them with our inner critic, and complain about them to our friends. But what about our strengths? I dare you to start a conversation with a friend today and say, “I think my biggest strength is…” and see where it goes. So grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about our parenting strengths!

WHEN OUR INNER-CRITIC BOSSES US AROUND

Some of us have an inner-critic. It harasses us all day long with thoughts such as –

It’s your fault your kids act the way they do.

If you would only (fill in the blank) then your kids would behave.

If you were a better parent, everything would be better.

If you weren’t parenting from your past, your kids wouldn’t struggle.

You’ll never be a great parent.

If this is you, I get it. I have an inner critic and it tried to boss me around. The Bible says we are supposed to take every thought captive. When my inner-critic is sending out thoughts, I need a giant lasso to grab them all. It’s not one thought. It’s a barrage of them. So, how do we handle it? And here’s a note, if you think when your kids are grown, the inner-critic quiets down, think again. There are plenty of “If you had only…” thoughts. Grab a coffee and join me as I share two approaches to combat the inner-critic and how to combat Mom-Guilt!

Last week on the podcast, I asked – Do you think having obedient kids makes you a good parent? We must let go of the myth that perfect parents exist.

GOD’S FIRST CHILDREN DISOBEYED HIM

Does that make you feel better? It did me. When I first realized that God, the Father Himself, who is perfect, had disobedient kiddos, I breathed a sigh of relief. You can read the rest of the post and listen to the podcast here.

This week, I moved on to the next step –

HAVE A RECONCILIATION PLAN IN PLACE

Grab a cup of coffee and join me!

WHAT IS A GOOD PARENT?

Am I a good parent?

How do I measure my parenting?

Is it by how well my kids behave?

Whether they have the same opinions I do?

Succeed academically?

Obey me?

Are clean, put together, and cute?

Don’t talk back?

This list could go on for days, literally. This is something I’ve been thinking about since a friend’s post about what she used to think good parenting entailed, spurred my brain into action.

For the next six weeks, I’ll be talking about “What is a Good Parent?” on the Positive Adoption Podcast and picking apart some of these questions on my lives (Tuesday on Facebook), and in article form. If you would, take a few minutes and take the survey, I’d love to hear what you think! Also, feel free to leave a comment- What do you think defines good parenting?

Read more -https://bit.ly/2JIlz8K

Grab a cup of coffee and join Kathleen as she begins the conversation with the question - Does having obedient kids make you a good parent?

The survey linked below-

https://forms.gle/zgAJR3q21T4FhW4A9

Are you thinking of becoming a foster parent?

Is fear stopping you?

Do you think foster care is too hard to step into?

Then this is for you (even if you are already fostering).

Kathleen interviews Rachel Eubank, a foster parent who blogs at Normalizing Foster Care. Rachel shares her family's connection to foster care, her story, and some great tips. Grab a cup of coffee and join these lovely ladies!

Is your child stuck in survival mode?

In this last in the series on the brain and fear, Kathleen delves into the difference between the upstairs and downstairs brain. She also offers some practical suggestions to implement. Grab a cup of coffee and join her and don’t forget to pick up your copy of How to Have Peace When Your Kids are in Chaos -https://amzn.to/35hsay3

Do you ever feel as if you are not enough?

That you can’t parent your child?

As if you're going to mess it all up?

You aren’t alone.

Many parents feel this way. We get stuck in the scarcity mentality. We believe the “bad report.” And just as our children who are stuck in survival mode, we get stuck there too.

Grab a cup of coffee and join Kathleen as she shares about this topic and some encouragement for parents!

Is your child stuck in survival mode?

Is he hypervigilant and unable to feel safe?

Maybe his fear response is stuck on the on position. If so, you’ll want to listen to this week’s episode.

Last week we covered a bit about the fear response and how the brain works. This week, I touch on how the brain wires itself into a fear response. Kids who have experienced trauma have triggers. With patience and persistence we can help our kiddos figure out what theirs are and work on rewiring them into more healthy patterns. Grab a cup of coffee and join Kathleen for some productive talk on fear!

“Imagine a constant flow of cortisol and adrenaline — as if you spend every second of every day being chased by a bear with its claws bared and its teeth dripping with blood. You might be jumpy, flighty, overreative, and unable to sleep, feeling neither hungry nor thirsty, unable to read any of your body’s signals.” If your child is stuck in survival mode, he may feel like the description above (from How to Have Peace When Your Kids are in Chaos). Maybe you are stuck in a fear cycle yourself. If any of this applies to you or your children, grab a cup of coffee and join Kathleen for part one of “The Brain and Fear.”

*Here are the links to the books discussed -http://kathleenguire.com/ and https://amzn.to/33hXInY