Following years of grappling with trauma, I have encountered and contended with heightened anxiety. Particularly, since a health scare more than a decade ago, I've observed a pronounced susceptibility to anxiety, with triggers manifesting swiftly and persisting with minimal provocation.

In addition, I explore the challenge of those close in one's life comprehending the intricacies of trauma and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Frequently, well-intentioned individuals may inadvertently utter phrases such as "I know how you feel" or "I can understand," lacking the experiential basis to genuinely grasp the impact of trauma and abuse.

This communication gap often results in a failure to comprehend how to respond when a person experiences triggering events, potentially eroding trust and leading to relational drift. Addressing this challenge necessitates direct and honest communication with partners or friends. Clearly articulating one's needs, specifying the preferred actions and appropriate responses, becomes imperative for maintaining trust and understanding.

Recognizing the difficulty faced by individuals in the support network, who may struggle to balance compassion and empathy with respecting established boundaries, it is essential to convey a singular request: kindness. Acknowledging that they are not the source of the issue, but rather a support in the journey, can alleviate the strain on these relationships. Emphasizing the need for solitude in overcoming personal challenges reinforces the importance of self-reliance without implying blame on those offering support.

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This is a continuation of the previous episode to a degree.. I wanted to try and elaborate on how for those who are suffering from CPTSD and ADHD (or ADD) often have a very difficult time knowing the history of each diagnosis as well as did I have ADHD from my early childhood development? or do my ADHD symptoms actually come from the repetitive abuse, bullying, trauma during my years in school?

It is well known from recent studies that CPTSD related trauma causes the same developmental problems in the pre-frontal cortex of the human brain, just like ADHD. What we believe to be ADHD could very well be from past trauma in our lives that just hasn't been really looked into by a professional.

A million children each year are misdiagnosed with ADHD because there wasn't enough investigation into trauma and abuse in their earlier years of development.

Still a lot of research needs to be done in order for us to really get a true understanding of what is really happening inside a brain while development is occurring.

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I present to my audience an episode that originally aired March 25, 2022. One of my most popular episodes in the 3+ years of this podcast.

This theory, Structural Dissociation Theory in my opinion has the

Our brain has parts that develop personalities that are Child Parts who interact with Adult Parts when they become triggered due to a flashback from trauma we have experienced in our childhood or even adult years.  The goal of this theory is to reconnect these parts with our adult, build a relationship with them and give them the ability to learn to trust again and allow us to heal and eventually no longer experience flashbacks to our trauma.

If there was any episode of my podcasts you need to listen to this will be the one.  I believe that this Model of therapy can be the most effective for a large majority of adults who suffer from CPTSD!  The only issue is that because it is so new to the world of Psychology that not many therapists today use it for their clients.

Also and I want to point this out, there are forms of therapy that can do way more damage than good to someone who suffers from CPTSD.  CBT therapy and other forms of therapy can create harm to child parts, trying to convince a part that they are bad, wrong, etc is never the way to go when it comes to healing as this only causes the part to trust you even less than it already does to begin with.

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I have ADD (a form of ADHD) and CPTSD. Most of the time the two are in conflict with one another, fighting inside my head and causing nothing but havoc emotionally and even physically at times.

My ADD creates impulse issues, focus problems and tends to make me become extremely indecisive and become bored easily. However, it also allows me to be very creative, big imagination and can lead to some interesting times.

Unfortunately at the same time, because of my CPTSD I become scared with feelings of dread, anxiety and paralyzing fear that will stop me from ever letting that amazing imagination come out for the rest of the world to see! Also makes starting a relationship extremely difficult out of fear of rejection and not wanting to be hurt again or taken advantage of.

Unless you also are burdened with ADHD and CPTSD it is very difficult to properly explain it all to you so you can comprehend it.

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Our world isn't exactly the greatest place to be today.. a lot of unnecessary death, political corruption, extremism (on both sides) and a lot of hate being tossed around like a salad. I have been noticing more so lately that all the shit happening today in our society is creating a lot of stress and I often feel on the verge of becoming triggered.

Why you ask? First of all I have CPTSD of course.. but like some of you know I also have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and my brain often gets easily distracted but I also often become obsessed about things that I find very interesting or fascinating.

Unfortunately this often causes me to get triggered, allow the horrible thoughts to mix in with my personal abuse and experiences and within moments I am now stressing about myself and well..... it's extremely frustrating to say the least!

The curse of having ADD and CPTSD, a nasty mix.

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For much of my life I have felt unworthy of people's attention, am not allowed to look at them in the eyes, speak before spoken to. I believe that they'll get angry at me for looking at them!

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Everyone who suffers from CPTSD will go through the pain, the discouraging sadness of CPTSD's hard reality, that we just are not there yet! We have not healed nearly enough to be able to get up on our feet after being knocked down numerous times and try one more time! Sure, stubbornly we do believe we are ready and often ignore the helping hand given by those who care very much for us.

Why? because we ironically feel safe with someone who be firmly think is going to be different "this time" until different ends up being just like everyone else.

It's extremely difficult and usually emotionally scarring to admit to ourselves that we need to face reality, that we need to stop and find help before we even begin to think about trying again...

CPTSD is a bitch, we often go back to what is familiar to us because it is all we know.

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So my therapist and I recently discussed how I am thinking way too much about trying to find pieces to fit into a situation in order to come up with an answer to a problem that is never really answered. I analyze every detail and obsess about the details hoping to find something that will tell me "Yes this is a good idea!" or that will also say "No that is not a good idea.."

It is extremely stressful and creates a lot of anxious feelings inside me! The therapist says that being a confidence person who is very secure with themselves does not mean they will be able to come up with a resolution that is solid and unbreakable! Amazingly enough they create just as much stress and anxiety as well!

When you are living with the effects of trauma all the effort you put into coming up with answers or the fix is way more stressful and can often cause being re-triggered when you are incapable of facing those fears that are holding you hostage.

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You know how after being single for a while you feel that urge to once again start dating? You that that feeling of such strong fear that you aren't good enough for anyone?, that you'll just keep screwing it up again and be right back at square one? Loads of anxiety and that obvious insecurity inside yourself that prevents you from making anything out of something?

Welcome to my world everyone! I am so afraid of becoming a repeating record time and time again that It's now to the point where I'm not sure I'll ever have a successful relationship...

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When you have suffered from CPTSD it’s often impossible to do what’s best for you. Your childhood taught you that everyone else comes before yours. And that your needs, wants and experiences don’t matter.

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To contact Genea go to ⁠www.geneabarnes.com