Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada. Nah, just kidding. You've just been recruited to listen to this podcast as we hop in our Star Car and take a journey through space and questionable CGI to explore The Last Starfighter. 

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This week's episode is a blast from the past, which is thematically appropriate since we're discussing Flight of the Navigator, a terrifying film about confronting mortality and also Pee-wee Herman in spaceship form, which is actually less upsetting than his human form. Go figure.

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Come into the light. There is peace in the light. There is podcast in the light. Join your ghosts on a very special Halloween journey through bad parenting, murderous clown dolls, the restless dead, and become a member of the First United Church of Tangina as we discuss the most terrifying, inexplicably PG-rated film of all time, Poltergeist.

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Put on your magical amulet and join your hosts for another installment of our Halloween series as we plunge deep into the heart of the 1989 teen cult classic, Teen Witch. It has baffling acting choices! It has bizarre musical numbers! It's extremely magical! It's art, and we're here for it.

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It's the 25th anniversary of what has somehow become a millennial Halloween classic, Hocus Pocus. Before your hosts crumble to dust, let's unpack the appeal of this 1993 Disney flick about a trio of witches determined to suck the life out of all the children of Salem, and the teenage virgin and undead cat determined to stop them. 

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Join us as we journey into the brilliant mind of Jim Henson as he finds out what happens when you suck all the fun (and hot living essence) out of Muppets. We'll journey with Jen the Gelfling through a magical world, get totally grossed out by nude vultures, and ask ourselves why no one on this planet seems to have a clue how to get to Pound Town. Puppets—they're serious business. 

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Being a teenager is a confusing time. You have new feelings and sensations. You have hair where you didn't have hair before, like on your chest, face, back, and literally covering your entire body, and you also transform into a van-surfing, b-balling, pheromone-generating werewolf. This week, we're talking about the greatest teen horror sex sports comedy ever made, Teen Wolf.

Next week: The Dark Crystal

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Join your favorite ‘90s Saturday morning cartoons as they join forces to fight the war on fun…drugs! We mean drugs. The whole crew is here—Garfield, the Muppet Babies, Bugs Bunny, ALF—and they’re on a mission to stop young Michael from gateway drugging his way into a crack habit by way of a cartoon intervention. Just say yes to Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue.

Watch it here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukz9QsVf8k0&ab_channel=ACMEHolidays%26Specials

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Wouldn't it be cool to see Nintendo's lovable plumber brothers spring to life on the big screen? To thrill to them powering up with mushrooms and stomping Goombas and Koopa Troopers on their quest to save the Mushroom Kingdom and rescue Princess Peach from Bowser's clutches? We imagine it would be, but this is not that movie. This is an inexplicable dystopian mess that makes a mockery of everything that anyone whose kid hands ever gripped a controller holds dear. Join us as we take a long and painful look at Super Mario Bros. Spoiler: this movie Nintendo blows.

Next episode: Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue

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This week, we’re discussing a film that is sometimes pretty, sometimes grotesque, and stupid throughout. We’re not sure what studio exec imagined the demand for kiddie noir, but this movie fulfilled it and then some. Join us as we untangle the dense and confusing plot of Warren Beatty’s magnum opus, Dick Tracy.  Next episode: Super Mario Bros. [email protected] Twitter + Instagram: @traumatizedcast facebook.com/TraumatizedCast