Tread Perilously

Tread Perilously's month of AfterSchool Specials concludes with Schoolboy Father.

When high school junior Charles Elderberry learns his summer camp girlfriend gave birth to a son, he learns it is his and attempts to do everything he can to block an adoption. The frustrated social worker gives him one week to learn the ropes of being a parent while also still being a high school student. Will Charles Elderberry grow up in just seven days or will he accept the wisdom his ex already understood after nine months of bringing a child to term? Also, why is Charles Elderberry's friend, Jeff, so into Mrs. Elderberry?

Erik, literally, cannot get over the presence of Rob Lowe. A long conversation about the actor follows. Justin calls Schoolboy Father the most "AfterSchool Special" of the specials they watched this month. Erik praises the use of a novel as source material as it creates texture that would be missing from an original teleplay. Justin recalls summer camp movies. Jennifer Connelly and Optimus Prime become the greatest spokespeople for the mini generation after Gen X. Dana Plato is fondly remembered. Geography Corner centers on the San Fernando Valley and 1980s supermarkets. Also, the pair examine the unique way the special's message is presented.

Tread Perilously returns to ABC AfterSchool Specials with What Are Friends For?

After Amy moves across the country to Santa Monica, CA following her mother's divorce, she meets Michelle Mudd -- a neighbor girl whose mother is also a divorcee. None of the other girls in the building like Michelle Mudd very much, but Amy is strangely drawn to her. Michelle Mudd likes to lie, steal, and dabble in the dark forces of the hoary underworld. But will Amy catch on that their friendship may just be another Michelle Mudd's playthings? And will she learn what friends are for?

Sarah Madden returns after a long absence to chat with Justin and Erik about the special. Erik confirms director Stephen Gyllenhaal is exactly who you think he is. Justin tries to determine if the book the special is based on was published in the late 1960s or 70s. Sarah determines the answer to the special's key question. Michelle Mudd's father is re-imagined as a used car salesman while her mother "owns a boutique." The presence of Melora Hardin is surprising even as she acquits herself well. The Santa Monica setting throws Geography Corner for a loop and Sizzler becomes a recurring topic of conversation. Also: Sarah gets confused by the Paul's King of Big Screen sponsorship.

Tread Perilously's month of AfterSchool Specials takes a detour into a CBS Schoolbreak Special with Ace Hits the Big Time.

When Horace Hobart moves from an unnamed New Jersey city to Manhattan, he is offered two choices: join the Purple Falcons or get "chewed up" by a rival gang called the Piranhas. Instead, he creates a third option by reinventing himself as "Ace" on his first day at school. Soon, the Falcons see him as the protection they need from the Piranhas. But all of that takes a back seat when "Ace" gets the Falcons parts in a movie. Or, is all of this in Horace's head?

Erik and Justin get lost as the episode feels more like the afterschool special format's death spiral than a genuine hour of television. Justin tries to find the moral. Erik gets obsessed with the plot's "violence gang" understanding of inner-city crime and tries to determine if the Falcons were invited to Cyrus's meeting. The name "Horace Hobart" inspires a lot of riffing. The actor who plays him, Rob Stone, does not. The pair remember Sunny Delight and explain New York's "brown bag" rule. They also try to determine if Horace had a gang affiliation back in Jersey. Also: Gene Simmons appears to promote a new KISS product.

Tread Perilously finally returns to the ABC Afterschool Specials for a month featuring YA novels before YA became a thing, surprising guests stars, and one special that did not air on ABC. It all begins with Sara's Summer of the Swans.

Riding out what she claims to be the worst summer of her life, Sara Godfrey's bad attitude is about the be adjusted by the disappearance of her younger brother, Charlie. Is he at the lake to see the swans before they leave south for the winter? Is he in the forest? And will a helpful Christopher Knight be the key to Sara finding Charlie and feeling better about her bummer of a summer?

Erik and Justin debate whether or not a certain surprise guest is a surprise guest. Geography Corner leads to various Los Angeles locales that could play as the Midwest. Justin notes the huge change in YA fiction across the last 50 years. He also recalls his old AfterSchool Specials column on The Satellite Show blog. A character's choice to dye her shoes leads to a lot of tangents. Erik and Justin both recall going into the woods unsupervised as children -- both literally and metaphorically. A wild Eve Plumb appears and an invitation to an end-of-summer party leads to a potent running joke.

Ampersand Month concludes with an episode of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman called "Ghosts."

Newly married Lois and Clark are settling into their new brownstone when a neighbor decides to sell her house due to a persistent haunting. Soon, the Kents themselves experience a specter. Clark suspects a more mundane reason for the problem, but Lois takes the ghost at her word. Meanwhile, a real estate hustler who owes the local Irish mob a lot of money tries to steer the ghost toward his own ends. Will he succeed or will Lois outsmart everyone?

Oh, and the episode features special guests as the hustler and the ghost.

Erik discovers episode director Robert Ginty also starred in the fabulously cheesy movie Warrior of the Lost World. He and Justin consider the difference between good, important films and movies to be enjoyed with repeat viewings. Comic book discussions abound with Justin recalling how he indoctrinated someone to superhero comics, the earliest comic book storyline Erik read, and an appreciation of artist Jim Aparo. The pair pitch a Doc Savage movie with Tom Hardy and Rahul Kohli. Dean Cain continues to get the ribbing he deserves while other Superman actors get praise. Erik and Justin differ on Teri Hatcher's Lois Lane and Barry Allen ruins Iris's chances to be a dependable private eye.

At long last, Tread Perilously's Ampersand Month leads to an episode of Rizzoli & Isles called "Virtual Love."

Rizzoli & Isles are called to a local microbrewery where the chief brewer was speared to death by a faux-viking weapon. Soon, the team discovers the victim was also big into a massive multiplayer online role-playing game where he lived another life as "Olaf the Boneless." Did his activities in the game lead to his death? And was the motive an online affair? Meanwhile, three underprivileged teens look for mentorships in the squad room and Rizzoli's mother, Angela, continues to disentangle herself from Lt. Cavanaugh.

Erik and Justin almost immediately get distracted by a particularly charged scene involving pizza. Both agree the shipping of the title characters is entirely justified. Conversations in the weeds lead to The Equalizer in all its manifestations, favorite Spike Lee joints, and curious casting choices. A wild Bruce McGill enters the scene. Erik doesn't do his angry police lieutenant voice for once. Mavity becomes an important force again. A dead-end scene with a motorcycle club precipitates a lot of riffing on the name "Skullcrusher." The term "crotchblocked" enters the lexicon. Textbook prices come into question and Justin feels attacked when Rizzoli & Isles go to a LAN party.

Tread Perilously's Ampersand Month continues with an episode of the obscure sitcom Love & War called "I Love a Parade."

The gang manages to get a fairly decent spot for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, even if they all forgot to buy coffee with their donuts. The festivities take a turn when a random woman asks Jack to hoist her son up on his shoulders so he can see the floats. She soon disappears, leaving the others to search for her. Meanwhile, Dana and Jack discuss the best course action. Will they end up raising the child as their own or will a Thanksgiving miracle save the day?

Erik and Justin get lost in the woods right quick. The show's supporting cast, which includes Joanna Gleason, Charles Robinson, and Suzie Plakson, gets high marks. Leads Annie Potts and Jay Thomas end up not as lauded, although both get discussed a great deal. Potts proves to be a Tread Perilously sweetheart while Thomas ... well, Thomas is another matter all together. Justin eulogizes the sitcom as a format while Erik suggests Love & War represents its lowest ebb. They try to re-conceive the show for Plakson and Michael Nouri (who also appears in the episode) and find a better use for the rest of the cast.

Tread Perilously's 450th podcast continues Ampersand Month with its first ever episode of Cagney & Lacey: "Ahead of the Game."

Cagney & Lacey are called to the scene of a teenage basketball prodigy who dropped dead during a pick-up game. The cops all assume drug use, but his father insists he took no illicit substances. Suspicion moves to the basketball coach when it turns out the teen had steroids in his system. But all of this takes a back seat when Cagney's father gets drunk at the Emerald Ball and Lacey's house is broken into. Can she recover the candlestick her mother gave her? Erik and Justin cannot get over a special one-scene appearance by the great Brock Peters. Dan Lauria also makes drops in as a Queens-area cop. Stars Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly get high praise -- even if they take second fiddle in this episode to their loud and gruff lieutenant. Other notables include the actors who play the desk sergeant, Lacey's husband, and the suspect gym coach. Erik posits that the episode is low rated because nothing gets resolved while Justin praises that element of the script. 1980s scandals reappear and the pair once again wave the flag for The Shield as one of the best shows to ever appear on television.

Tread Perilously enters Ampersand Month: five shows with a stylized "and" in the middle of the title. And it all begins with an episode of Franklin & Bash called "Control."

When Franklin & Bash are brought in to find a legal remedy for a heckler at a minor league baseball field, they soon discover there is more to this than a bad comedian getting his kicks at a would-be star pitcher. Meanwhile, Damien signs up to be a retiring judge's partner at a golf tournament in hopes of replacing him on the bench and Rachel tries a bull semen case for her brother.

Justin declares Franklin & Bash "shockingly not terrible" as Erik attempts to place it in a context of easy TV viewing. Both have a hard time recalling details of the A-plot. Justin evaluates stars Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar. A surprise Reed Diamond appears. Heather Locklear proves to be a trooper. The presence of Malcolm McDowell and Buck Henry prove to be both welcome and, unlike the main plot, memorable. Erik recalls his best time at a baseball stadium. Geography Corner centers on the supposed office of Franklin & Bash. The word "loquat" becomes distracting and the resolution to the A-plot leads to another possible Tread Perilously room character.

The Ballad of John D. Cort continues as Tread Perilously returns to Baywatch for an episode called "The Big Race."

When an old folks home asks Cort to double his annual $5000 donation, he looks to sell the dive shop for extra scratch. But just as Mitch and Craig pony up $3000 to help him out, he uses the money to buy a boat and enter a water ski tournament with a $15,000 prize. Mitch and Craig become his unwilling partners -- who happen to know nothing about his real reason for needing the money -- but will they take point when Cort cracks a rib during practice? Meanwhile, Shauni is afraid to go in the water.

Justin reaches a point where he can make informed judgments about Baywatch -- much to his horror. Erik tries to rework the show into a "beach cop" series with Cort as the lead. Justin tries to rework the episode into a 1980s boob comedy. He also argues for fewer characters on Baywatch. Director Kevin Inch's use of montages is criticized. Godfrey Ho enters the discussion. The logistics of the race's Catalina-and-back course are examined. Geography Corner tries to figure out where the Back to the Beach pier resides. Captain Thorpe makes a special appearance and the replacement sound-a-like music finally gets noticed.