Tread Perilously

With an extra week in August, Tread Perilously re-opens the Grab Bag for an extra verse in The Ballad of John D. Cort -- the Baywatch episode called "Shark Derby."

The annual shark season is a little bit more robust than usual with sightings more common and local restaurateur Bucky sponsoring a shark derby. Contestants, which include John D. Cort, Eddie, Captain Thorpe, and Hobie, must bring in the largest shark possible. But Mitch, always wary of Bucky, doubts the increasing shark population is a coincidence. Did the entrepreneur figure out a way to invite more sharks to the coastal waters? And will it prove fatal for a member of Mitch's team?

Justin busts out the shark facts right quick. Erik recalls the soon-to-be-closed fish restaurant Gladstones. Both marvel at the simplicity of Bucky's scheme. The 1980s hangover gets dissected. Captain Thorpe's descent into madness makes its way to Hobie. Peter Benchley's Jaws comes up often. David Hasselhoff's actual height becomes unavoidable. For the first time ever, original Baywatch character Jill matters. Hasselhoff's need to barge into scenes gets called out. Erika Eleniak's scream is reviewed. Craig's murder eyes make a special appearance and the Hoff gets compared to Tommy Wiseau in a very specific way. Also, the praise for John Allen Nelson continues.

Tread Perilously's eighth semiannual Patreon subscriber request month comes to a close with the Riptide episode called "Girls Night Out."

When two housewives start knocking over expensive homes in the southland while using one of Murray's computer manuals, he, Cody, and Nick are immediately blamed for the crimes. Taking the investigation into their own hands, they soon discover the women owe local fence -- and seeming sex trafficker -- Joey Dietz $20,000. And although the situation has delayed their annual fishing trip to Cabo San Lucas, Murray thinks the Riptide team should help the ladies with their predicament. Also: Cody tries to break up with Francine.

Erik finds Riptide lacking while Justin stumps for the star power of Gerald McRainey. Murray actor Thom Bray ends up the show's MVP. Erik introduces the notion of "jobber television" as an important part of the landscape. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds talk occurs. The two actual leads of Riptide are dubbed "Mustache Hunks" despite one of them emphatically lacking facial hair. Tweaks, including the addition of E.G. Daily, are suggested to make Riptide a better show. Dr. Huxtable gets called out for his treatment of Theo. Geography Corner leads to very local spots for Erik and Justin and a noted author makes a surprise appearance.

Tread Perilously's Patreon request month arrives at Midnight, Texas for an episode called "Lemuel Unchained."

When a tour bus full of vampires pulls into Midnight, everyone gets prepared for the worst. But Lemuel recognizes the bloodsuckers as his old gang and welcomes their leader, Zachariah. Although things start on an even keel, it's clear they mean for the town to become their home and the citizens their food supply. Will Lem allow them to stay? Will Manfred figure out a way to dispose of the unwanted guests? Will Fiji trust her abilities? And will Olivia get to kick some unexpected ass?

Erik and Justin immediately decide on a word to use instead of the slur Midnight, Texas has no problem using in 2017. The pair immediately praise Peter Mensah and Arielle Kebbel, but are less impressed with the show's supposed leads. Justin points out the True Blood connection via author Charlaine Harris, but will a broadcast television version of that show prove successful? Erik notes NBC's spotty record with genre shows. Takeshi's Castle gets a strong recommendation. Zack Snyder gets a surprise defense. Midnight, Texas's character names prove to be overcooked and, naturally enough, Colin Robinson comes up in the conversation.

Patreon subscriber month continues with episode 12 of Twin Peaks: The Return. 

While Cooper fails to resurface in the body of Dougie Jones, Gordon Cole and Albert Rosenfield bring Tammy Preston into the Blue Rose task force. They also offer Diane Evans a less official role, although that may be a ruse to determine whether or not she's in cahoots with Bad Coop. Meanwhile, in Twin Peaks, Sheriff Frank Truman informs Ben Horne that his grandson, Richard Horne, ran over a child and is currently on the run. Richard's mother, Audrey, seems not to care as she's more worried about Billy, her current lover, who happens to be missing. Also, Sarah Palmer goes to the store for vodka.

Erik and Justin try to find a new way to recap as Twin Peaks: The Return defies usual TV formats. Justin decries the acting and the editing. Erik finds his way to agreeing with him. He also tries to recall if Billy ever actually appears on screen. Lynch's tendency toward depicting violence against women comes into question. James Hurley continues to be the worst Twin Peaks citizen. A surprising number of ghosts appear. Erik leans on The Secret History of Twin Peaks and The Last Dossier to connect some dots. The pair go further into analysis than usual and the owls are not what they seem.

Tread Perilously opens Total Request Live -- its semiannual Patreon subscriber request month -- with an episode of Killjoys called "A Glitch in the System."

When Dutch and John find an abandoned freighter in an asteroid belt, they believe it to be an easy salvage. But soon they discover they are not alone on board and that the ship's mission was anything but harmless. Meanwhile, D'avin's memory issues are not helped when he befriends one of the people they find on the vessel: a suspicious custodian answering to the name "Hogan." Will he discover the meaning of Red 17 or will the Killjoys risk their lives to escape his questions?

Erik and Justin are both enamored with star Hannah John-Kamen. Erik learns to tell the Ashmore Twins apart. The Trivago guy and the Event Horizon haunt the proceedings. The current state of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Secret Invasion are litigated. David from Prometheus barges in. Other sci-fi films are also discussed. The pair advise against deep space research vessels. Dylan Baker emerges as the preferred Lizard. The rapport between Aaron Ashmore's John and Luke Macfarlane's D'avin gets praise. The pair will never stop being angry about Battlestar Galactica and they accidentally create a new CBS detective show. 

Tread Perilously's 2023 Summer Grab Bag month concludes with Automan's third episode, "The Great Pretender."

When the police are stymied in apprehending Brock, a local crime lord who stole paper to print counterfeit money, Automan takes it upon himself to generate a rival mafia don: Mr. Mann. Taking control of Brock's rackets one-by-one, he starts to make a name for himself and attracts the attention of the regional crime boss. Will Automan prove to be a better sort of criminal? Will Detective Jack Curtis get his man? And will Walter ever realize his truest dream: to be in the field. With Automan, there's always monkey's paw potential, so Walter better watch out for his answered prayers.

Erik and Justin immediately praise special guest star Clu Gulager. Geography Corner leads to the actor's self-made residency at the New Beverly Theater. A review of Secret Invasion breaks out, as do further thoughts on recent Marvel productions. Justin ends up tickled by a pool hall set that feels stuck in the 1950s. The pair obsess over Brock's wedding, which he also obsesses over. A casino recalls the plot of a Baywatch episode. Justin stumbles on the worst possible romantic subplot for Automan and learns the truth about Chuck Wagner's modeling career.

The Summer 2023 Grab Bag continues with the next verse in the Ballad of John D. Cort -- the Baywatch episode called "Eclipse."

When Eddie's new partner drowns after claiming to see a woman in a nightgown running among the surf, he begins to have the same vision. Is Eddie finally cracking? Is it a real apparition? When Captain Thorpe suspends him, Gina gets on the case and discovers there may be some truth to the phantom Eddie describes. Meanwhile, Hobie tries to hide a dog from Mitch and Cort buys an antique diving suit that immediately ends up stolen.

Justin expects werewolves, but gets Eddie instead. William Fichtner's part in Go once again comes up in conversation. Erik accuses the AI of always picking Adam Driver. The pair disagree on The Faculty. The ocean proves to be a horror. Justin credits Craig with a fantastic physique. He also finally encounters what Allison Pregler calls "the Death Pier." Captain Thorpe's descent into madness continues. Geography Corner centers on the Los Angeles area beaches. Mitch's culpability in regards to the dog's fate is explored. Eddie's petulance when Shauni shows concern is also examined. Certain apartments prove to be unreal and Jabberjaw becomes surprisingly important.

Tread Perilously's Summer Grab Bag 2023 begins with an episode of the short-lived George Clooney series E/R called "Enter Romance."

While the E/R braces for the arrival of new hospital administrator Harold Stickley, Dr. Howard Sheinfeld's first ex-wife, Sheila, comes for a visit. The topic: what to do about their teenage daughter who is currently squatting with a bunch of friends in downtown Chicago. Will Howard make good on his promise to let her stay with him? Will Sheila go along with that? And will Stickley manage to make it thirty seconds without saying something sexist or insensitive?

Erik finally defeats Clooney by obtaining E/R episodes ... and also admits the series is really an Elliott Gould vehicle. Justin praises the deep cast while deriding the staid mid-1980s sitcom writing. The pair avoid making certain obvious jokes. Justin tries to offer Scrubs as the good version of E/R. Karen Black proves to be a favorite. The gravitas of Mary McDonnell ends up at odds with the "comedy." A valuable John Cleese quote leads down a Python rabbit hole. Jason Alexander's character turns out to be well-performed despite being totally loathsome. Comedy once again ends up on the hot seat and the Airport movies end up on The Full Peril challenge list.

Tread Perilously's final look at modern Syfy and Fantasy for June centers on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and the episode called "Some Must Watch While Some Must Sleep."

Sarah's latest investigation brings her to a warehouse where she encounters a seemingly resurrected Ed. The two tussle, dose one another with truth serum, and potentially drill down to the real conflict between them. Or it's all a dream as Sarah wakes up in a sleep clinic to deal with her insomnia? But is there something more sinister afoot at the clinic? Is Skynet trying to co-op the dreams of humans for its own ends? Or is the clinic itself the dream?

Erik salts the still-open wound of The Sarah Connor Chronicles' cancellation (for the sake of Dollhouse). Justin reveals how to discover a Gorian in the wild. Sarah Connor's 9/11 speech continues to be a barrier to entry. Erik tries to introduce a new term for big budget movies. James Cameron gets some praise for very specific reasons. The pair try to determine if the first coyote Sarah sees was a happy accident. They also debate acknowledging COVID in scripted shows and Gerd Shockley introduces a new product. But will Erik declare the show the best genre series Fox ever aired? 

Tread Perilously's tour of modern Syfy and fantasy continues with the 12 Monkeys episode called "Atari."

Although he and Cassie are getting close to the Night Room, Cole is recalled to the future. Deacon is close to the lab and the scientists will need both his and Ramse's knowledge of the West VII to stop their attack. In flashbacks, Cole recalls how he first met Deacon and aligned with the West VII ideals. We also see how Rasme never really cottoned to them. But will their time with the group prove to be the best defense? Or will time travel somehow save the day?

Erik is on RICARDO DIAZ ALERT! Justin is surprised to learn 12 Monkeys ran for four seasons. Both are happy the episode is a "proper" segment of television, even if they make fun of the Night Room. They also praise actor Todd Stashwick for bringing a lot to what could be a bog-standard sci-fi antagonist. They also highlight the good use of time travel! Terry Gilliam is not given a pass for his behavior. Erik's thoughts on The Flash feature film invade the proceedings. The Andor notion of "try" returns and Michael Wincott makes a surprise appearance.