Tread Perilously

Tread Perilously's month of Star Trek continues with the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode called "Man of the People."

The Enterprise gets involved in a diplomatic mission when the ship carrying Ambassador Alkar gets attacked. Now aboard the Federation flagship, he immediately attracts the attention of Counselor Troi. But Alkar's mother warns her off, saying she'll regret any association with him. Soon, the mother turns up dead and Alkar bonds with Troi during a supposed funerary right. But is it more than he says? Does it have anything to do with Troi's rapid aging and unusual behavior? And once Picard gets involved, will he be swayed to Alkar's grim calculus?

The Alternative Factor gets a new host despite a very similar voice to the previous one. Geography Corner takes on a surprising form as Erik and Justin discuss the places where 1980s TV directors could have bought houses. The presence of Ensign Janeway leads to an understandable tangent. The pair also diagnose a worthy Star Trek question buried in the failings of "Man of the People." Justin questions the value of freelance diplomats. Erik creates a post-realization to explain why the Enterprise isn't a purely exploratory vessel. Riker turns out to be the episode MVP and Justin inadvertently creates the Mansplaining Ghost.

TOS called "The Alternative Factor."

During a routine patrol, the Enterprise encounters a "blink" in space localized to the planet it currently orbits. Unimpressed with Spock's assessment of the situation, Kirk beams down to the planet. There, he encounters Lazarus, a self-professed time traveler locked in battle with an invisible enemy. But when that foe turns out to be Lazarus from another universe, Kirk must way the alternatives and chose which Lazarus to believe.

Erik and Justin fail to hide their disappointment in what may be the most mediocre episode of TOS. But they use the episode title and the name of its director to create the Federation's #1 subspace chat show -- "The Alternative Factor." Captain Kirk turns out to support chicken independence. Lt. Charlene Masters and guest actor Janet MacLachlan easily earn episode MVP. The distinction between He Who Remains and Kang is emphasized. DeForest Kelley gets praise even as Dr. McCoy gets worse. The bad wrestling and psychedelic imagery get called out. The look of dilithium crystals gets described and Erik suggests Lee Majors as Kirk.

Tread Perilously's Total Request Live 4 concludes with an episode of The Fall Guy called "That's Right, We're Bad."

Colt Seavers and Howie go undercover in a desert prison to find Animal, the only person who can clear the name of a parole-jumping man back in LA. Of course, things go sideways as the warden -- the only man who knows Colt and Howie aren't convicts -- ends up in a coma and his second-in-command turns out to be a real Buford T. Justice type. Soon, Colt teams up with Animal to stage a prison break and head back to LA to find Red Eye, the man who helped Animal with the original heist. Will Colt be able save the man who put him in this predicament? Do you even remember who that is?

Erik and Justin try to determine if Howie is off-brand Bruce Boxleitner or off-brand Duncan Regehr. They also get into the weeds with The Fall Guy's premise, Heather Thomas, and Starcrash. Justin acknowledged Burn Notice owes a lot to shows like The Fall Guy. Erik works the phrase "the unknown stuntman" into the discussion more than once. The pair decide Dengar is the Star Wars bounty hunter who spends a lot of credits at the strip club. Richard Kiel gets praised and, of course, a Geography Corner breaks out.

Tread Perilously's Total Request Live 4 finally brings Erik and Justin to an episode of House -- and it's an episode titled "You Don't Want To Know." No, really!

When Doctors Kutner and Cole go to a magic show, they witness the magician fail at one of his tricks and bleed from the mouth. Kutner admits him to the hospital and tries to get House to take the case. But House, clearly inspired by an episode of Survivor, issues his candidates a new challenge: obtain Dr. Cuddy's thong. The winner will be safe from elimination and will be allowed to nominate two of the other doctors for the upcoming cut. Will it stop everyone from noticing this week's medical mystery?

Justin attempts to determine the premise of House and tries to figure out why HR never reprimands the title character. He and Erik nominate Dr. House as the Third Doctor What. They also have a hard time remembering names for once. Justin is surprised to see Olivia Wilde on the show. Erik names Jon Favreau as the next Richard Donner. The Talented Mr. Ripley gets heaped with praise. Justin reveals his love of close-up magic and his aversion to scenes of surgery. A digression about The Rolling Stones breaks out and, occasionally, the pair talks about House.

Tread Perilously's Total Request Live 4 continues with an episode of the short lived 1980s fantasy series Wizards and Warriors called "Skies of Death."

With the war a stalemate, evil wizard Vector devises the largest cannon ever built and promises dastardly Prince Dirk Blackpool he can magic the ammunition so it delivers the neutron effect. Not in so many words, mind, but the intention is clear. When brave Prince Erik Greystone catches wind of the device, he sets out alone to the Cliffs of Death to destroy the cannon. Will his trusty ally Marco defy Greystone's orders to help him at the cliffs? And will the prince's cowardly brother, Justin, assist the duo when the hour of darkness seems nigh?

Erik and Justin theorize about the intention behind this week's Patron request -- characters named "Erik" and "Justin" cannot be a coincidence. Erik takes a deep-dive into star Jeff Conaway's unfortunate later life struggles. Justin quickly compares the writing of Wizards and Warriors to the work of a shady Dungeon Master at the local game store. He also tries to determine why Duncan Regehr didn't have a better career. Geography Corner takes on a musical dimension. Erik defends George Lucas's choice to reshoot the Emperor's scene in The Empire Strikes Back with Ian McDiarmid. And in what might be the most obvious digression of the episode, Justin recalls Werewolf: The Apocalypse.

Tread Perilously begins Total Request 4 -- a month of requests from the top tier Patreon subscribers -- with the challenge of a competition reality show! The program: RuPaul's Drag Race. The episode: "ShakesQueer"

When the contestants are tasked to stage Drag-ified productions of Shakespeare plays, it becomes obvious one team is better suited to the job than the other. Will a decision made because of friendship sink Kennedy Davenport's prospects of winning the whole season? Will the revised version of MacBeth, "MacBitch," prove not to be the slam-dunk it should be? And will a truly remarkable gown be enough to prevent one contestant from being eliminated?

Erik wishes he could be more catty like the contestants. Justin is surprised by Erik's choice of weekly savior. It leads to a discussion of Natalie Portman. Both reveal the reality shows they actually watch and how it informs their appreciation of RuPaul's Drag Race. Erik senses a sinister undercurrent in the editing of a certain team's story. He also admits he does not know how the kids feel about Shakespeare. Justin recalls the use of Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet in Southern California literature education. Erik discusses his dislike of Baz Luhrmann's filmography. And, somehow, a Star Wars digression occurs.

Tread Perilously's month of guest stars and Grab Bag episodes concludes with the next installment of the Tequila and Bonetti deep dive, "Tale of the Dragon."

When a local fortune teller comes to the squad room to report a murder, Visiting Detective Nico Bonetti is forced into a conflict with the apparent supernatural. It also puts him on the trail of a sniper who is killing surfer dudes all over South Coast. Will the fortune teller's visions prove correct? Will Bonetti die among unfinished salmon rolls? And will the fortune teller ever realize the mysterious voice she hears is Tequila?

Special Review Unit Captain Charlie Wright joins Erik and Justin for a show that is not SVU, but still features Mariska Hargitay. She surprises them both by having a memory of watching Tequila and Bonetti when it aired! Justin finds a surprising lack of typical Tequila and Bonetti content in the episode. Geography Corner once again happens early, but occurs throughout. The group determines that Tequila must outrank Officer Nunzo. The program's questionable content also gets examined, as does Erick Avari's cameo. Charlie admits she's never seen Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Erik and Charlie offer some opinions of Law & Order: Organized Crime. Mickey Hargitay Plants gets another shout-out and Charlie reacts to the show's decision to name a character "Captain Midian Knight."

Tread Perilously's Guest Star Grab Bag month continues with The Facts of Life's first TV movie: The Facts of Life Goes to Paris.

When the girls and Mrs. Garrett make arrangements for summer classes in France, most of their time there is uneventful. But with only five days left, the girls escape from their boarding school to see the sights of Paris. Well, Natalie and Tootie are committed to being tourists, anyway. Blair looks for romance while Jo happens upon one while trying to get to Le Mans. Mrs. Garrett, meanwhile, seems to find love as an adjunct to her main objective: impressing a snooty French chef.

Paul and Corey Cross the Streams co-host Paul Pakler joins Erik and Justin for an episode five or six years in the making. The trio immediately examines why the film needed six writers to complete the script. A Quentin Tarantino discussion breaks out. Paul notes the premise of The Facts of Life changes every season. Justin's Mrs. Garrett impression gets a workout. He and Paul debate whether or not Marty McFly's truck is a bourgeois prize of 1980s cinema. Paul defends the French schoolmarm tasked with wrangling the girls. Erik pitches Revenge of the Red Baron to Paul. Frank Bonner proves to be the movie's MVP and literary fiction gets skewered again.

Tread Perilousy's month of Special Guest Grab Bag leads back to Baywatch and the first John D. Cort episode, "Home Cort."

John D. Cort returns to Baywatch for his obligatory ten-days of work to remain certified. But he's also in town to help Jack Burton (not that one) rescue some illicit computer parts from the nearby ocean. Cort brings his usual joie de vivre with him, much to Mitch's amusement. Unfortunately, trouble has also followed Cort back to Southern California. Will it lead him to stay in town or will Cort end up in a more "permanent" retirement?

Sarah Madden returns as Erik and Justin get lost talking about John D. Cort and actor John Allen Nelson. Erik recalls the film Navy SEALs. Sarah determines the premise of Baywatch -- although she has previously seen the show. Character actor Mickey Jones gets a shout-out. Justin associates magical powers with John D. Cort and gets mad when he discovers Nelson was never on Red Shoe Diaries. Erik credits Allison Pregler with a number of key Baywatch facts and terms. Justin accidentally creates The Cooler Chair. The group tries to determine if naming a character "Jack Burton" is a reference to Big Trouble in Little China or not. Speedos proves to be unpopular (unless worn by John Allen Nelson) and Justin once again stumps for She's All That.

Tread Perilously continues its special guest Grab Bag month with a return to Automan for its second episode, "Staying Alive While Running a High Flashdance Fever."

When Walter and Automan chase a suspect to the palatial estate of a well-respected judge, Walter decides to track down any lead that will implicate him. But he also sets Automan a task to become more socially attuned via watching the films Saturday Night Fever, Flashdance, and Staying Alive. Will it make Automan a better asset when circumstances send him and Walter to Las Vegas in search of a leggy brunette? Will the captain and Lt. Curtis learn the truth about Automan? And will we ever learn why a casino in 1983 would still have a disco?

The Fanbase Weekly's Drew Siragusa joins Erik and Justin for a lively discussion of the early 1980s, the Automan premise, and the Emergency Medical Hologram. Erik's obsession with Staying Alive becomes part of the conversation, as does Glen A. Larson's alleged need for milk. Drew also weighs in on whether or not Erik sabotaged Barbra Dillon's first Doctor Who experience. Erik becomes convinced this episode was shot before the Automan pilot. The trio attempt to figure out why the mob is trying to buy a Las Vegas hotel and casino in 1983 and why it is called "HotelCasino Las Vegas." The cloud of cigarette smoke in the Luxor gets properly lampooned. Also, Erik reveals to Justin and Drew who shot J.R. on Dallas.