Tread Perilously

Tread Perilously responds to its first listener request! Back when Erik and Justin took on the second season Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Royale," several Bleeding Cool readers suggested the late seventh season episode "Genesis." Boy, did it turn out to be a worthy episode for review.

Barclay's hypochondria leads to a virus on board the Enterprise which causes the crew to devolve. Data and Picard, safely off-ship when the outbreak occurred, must find a solution before a primitive Worf tries to mate with an amphibious Troi and Picard turns into a marmoset.

Erik and Justin revel in Worf's lack of basic competence in the first act and the extreme senioritis present throughout the episode. They also consider the lasting influence of Ronald D. Moore, Riker's sex-offender status, Troi's position as a bridge officer and the difficult time Gene Roddenberry had in introducing an executive officer character. Also, writer Brannon Braga may not have understood Star Trek.

Tread Perilously makes its first foray into that stalwart series of the supernatural -- The X-Files. Erik and Justin take on the season seven episode "Fight Club," featuring two Kathy Griffins, Sergeant Michaels from 7th Heaven and the belief that wrestling is real. Mulder and Scully get called to Kansas City when two field agents and a couple of Mormons (or Jehova's Witnesses) inexplicably try to kill each other. It leads to ill-defined ideas about doppelgangers and fraternal siblings with psychic powers.

Erik and Justin recall what Fox looked like in its early years with its reliance on three good shows and many short-lived series featuring Paul Rudd. Both admit to being into the UFO phenomenon in their youths and while one likes The X-Files because of it, the other is rather lukewarm on the program.

Tread Perilously returns to Glen Oak, CA this week with another episode of 7th Heaven. In fact, it was Erik's first episode of the series when it aired in 1998; which he is all-too gleeful to mention. While Reverend Camden tries to help a woman who lost her son in an accident and a pregnant teen, Lucy, Simon and Ruthie decide to take the school bus. Matt's car if briefly stolen and menace is personified by mute Hispanic kids.

For Erik, it's an opportunity to explain his fascination with the series and its Jack Webb-esque world view. For Justin, it is a nostalgic trip to his Jr. High alma mater. And though he tries to wrap his head around the show, Justin continues to recoil in terror as the saccharine gets dumped in by the bagful.

The final part of Tread Perilously's Assignment: Miami sees Erik and Justin watching "Tale of the Goat," a season two episode of Miami Vice that explores voodoo -- or at least a mid-1980s understanding of it. Tubbs is amused when Crockett warns him about the voodoo believed by Haitian druglord Papa Legba and his followers. Even when Legba appears to rise from the dead, Tubbs continues to doubt until forced to become a zombie himself. Or something.

Erik and Justin discuss the unavoidable racism, their poor understanding of voodoo, loud clothing of the 1980s, Live and Let Die and Edward James Olmos's special style of acting. And despite Justin's well-known dislike of executive producer Michael Mann, he finds things to enjoy about the episode.

Also: We still need your suggestions for our upcoming Tread Who Perilously season. Send the titles of your least favorite Doctor Who episodes to [email protected].

Tread Perilously's Assignment: Miami continues with "Viking Bikers From Mars," featuring show favorite Reb Brown as "Reb," the leader of a biker gang who vows to get revenge for dead drug kingpin "The Wire" and to deliver gold to his sister. Lots of people end up dead or exploded along the way. Crockett plays with his carphone and Tubbs gets shot. Izzy returns again and Reb screams his way to an amazing conclusion.

Erik and Justin discuss their love for Reb Brown, the film Yor: The Hunter from The Future, Trudy's sensible clothes and how hard it must've been for Dick Wolf to take over the show. Also, the Marvel Comics characters Ape-man and Man-ape are invoked.

Also: We still need your suggestions for our upcoming Tread Who Perilously season. Send the titles of your least favorite Doctor Who episodes to [email protected].

Assignment: Miami continues with Erik and Justin watching the Miami Vice episode "The Cows of October." The vice squad brushes up against the high stakes bull semen trade, an FBI agent played by Harry Shearer, Cuban Intelligence and frequent vice informant Izzy. The bull sperm is auctioned, lost, and auctioned again as Izzy and Cowboy Calvin work to get a higher payout and Shearer's FBI man tries his hardest to keep miniature cows on US soil.

Erik and Justin discuss the surprise appearance by Law & Order's Dick Wolf in the credits, Erik's surprising knowledge of NBC TV shows and the very objective of television in the 1980s. The KBG's role in spreading conspiracy theories about the John F. Kennedy assassination may also come up.

Also, we'll be treading Who perilously again in March, so feel free to give us your suggestions for the worst Doctor Who episodes of each Doctor (except Paul McGann) at [email protected].

Tread Perilously returns with Erik and Justin in "Assignment: Miami." For four weeks, the duo will take on pastels, neon rods and the worst Miami Vice can throw at them. In week one, they face "Missing Hours," notable as many fans' pick as the worst episode of the show.

Officer Big Booty Trudy (as she's called on her desk placard) appears to have been abducted by aliens while investigating the death of a man who jumped through a shop window. Crocket and Tubbs visit James Brown, who also appears in Trudy's hallucination while visiting a houseboat. Chris Rock plays a file clerk with an interest in UFOlogy and Edward James Olmos grumbles.

Erik and Justin discuss the close encounters scale, the film Death Drug and the intoxicating effect of the episode. We also learn Justin's real feelings on Michael Mann.

The Panel of Experts reconvenes for a Danish Xmas featuring Adam Driver, the guy who bought the Remington Electric Shaver company and Charo. Louis returns to goad Erik into a discussion of Tiny House Hunters. An attempt to talk about Danish anarchists ends up focusing on Holland's Zwarte Piet tradition. It's as uncomfortable as it sounds. The Yulemala movie this year is Thomas Kinkade's The Christmas Cottage, but Clint, Dawn and Rob want to sound off about Star Wars.

It's Christmastime on Tread Perilously! Which means Erik subjected Justin to the family drama classic 7th Heaven. The third season Christmas episode, "Here Comes Santa Claus," sees Matt Camden as a Mall Santa, Mary bringing home a handsome drifter with perfect teeth, Lucy freaking about her boyfriend's Christmas gift, Simon trying to string Christmas lights and Ruthie trying to be funny. Oh, also, Reverend Camden and his wife re-enact the Gift of the Magi. Justin learns about Erik's history with the show, the way the characters evolved after the Christmas episode and why Jessica Biel emerged from the show with a career. Justin also blames Baby Jesus for the lack of creativity when TV writers are confronted with holiday episodes. 

Justin and Erik divert back to the 24th Century to look at "The Royale," an Star Trek: The Next Generation that apologizes for itself at every turn. Riker, Data and Worf beam down to a world of giant ammonia storms, where a small bubble of breathable air maintains a chintzy Las Vegas hotel with many sordid goings on. But what does this have to do with the corpse of a 21st Century astronaut? Erik and Justin discuss the perils of trying to be intentionally bad and the ease with which noir can go wrong. They also talk about that most infamous of cosplayers from the film Trekkies who claimed his look was inspired by this episode.