My head screwed up with this fresh perspective. Oh my goodness!

My rock idol says this:

“Parenting is the most important job anyone will ever do.”

He really gave a fresh and unexpected view on pregnancy, motherhood and parenting. Why hadn’t I thought of it before?

Here’s where I was:

Seven months pregnant.

First baby.

Reading an interview with my rock legend Larry Norman.

And I’d never heard anyone say anything like that. Not ever.

“Parenting is the most important job anyone will ever do.”

It read like some soppy sentiment to begin with, but he came back to it. Not just once, or twice, but the crux of the whole interview was parenting. I knew his views were controversial, and there in black and white, he was doing it again. Right in front of me: Parenting is one of the most important jobs anyone can do.

You might have imagined, as I had, that for a rock legend, the most important thing would be singing for thousands. Or recording amazing albums. Or even inspiring people about life, death, the universe and everything at his concerts.

But no. According to Larry Norman, being a parent was THE most important thing.

My whole world suddenly shifted. I got a fresh perspective . . .

Soon I would give birth to a longed-for baby, and it too suddenly took on another whole dimension with this fresh perspective. I was in a new zone.  It was happening TO ME. I was embarking on the most important job I was ever going to do.

Of course plenty of people say there are far more important things than having children:

Creating an empire | Reaching the moon | A breakthrough against disease

But no activity, apart from having children, enables you to pass along your genes to the next generation. In that sense, you become eternal. This fresh perspective was a revelation.

Now, many years later, I agree with Larry Norman. There really are fewer things more fulfilling, more important, or more difficult, than raising children. Whether you are married or single; and somewhere in the spectrum between being employed full-time and stay-at-home parent; there is no doubt that what you are doing is raising the next generation.

And there are very few occupations more important than that.

This blog is dedicated to parents everywhere who want to engage in the journey of intentional parenting.

The focus is on mothers, but Dads are welcome too. The principles are universal, but it comes with an Australian outlook. There is an unashamed Christian world view with these stories, but anyone of any spiritual persuasion can benefit from them. Perhaps, Treasuring Mothers brings you a whole fresh perspective?

You and your children are the heroes in this journey!

Have you ever had a revelation about parenthood like mine? Let me know by writing in the Comments box, below.

There’s so much parenting advice on the internet. Every day, it seems, on Facebook, another trusted friend is sharing an article with 6-great-ways-to, or another “must-read”. What do we do when those great articles contradict each other? How do we choose the right methods for our families without being overwhelmed?

Harriet Connor is the author of Big Picture Parents

Today’s guest, Harriet Connor, gives a great example of exactly the problems we face today in this age of internet parenting. She read an article via Facebook which talked about how children should learn to obey their parents the first time they’re given a command, and shouldn’t have to be told more than once to do something. Soon after that, however, she read an article about how children’s brains are still developing, and we can’t expect them to take in and respond to a command the first time! So who do we believe? What do we do? Where do we go to for good parenting advice?

GUEST: Harriet ConnorHOST:Jenny Baxter

More from Harriet Connor

BLOG: More about Information Overload >>> PODCAST: The Comparison Trap >>>

Choosing Good Parenting Advice is brought to you with the assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation. It was first broadcast on Hobart’s ultra106five radio.

Show Notes – Choosing Good Parenting Advice

With so many people wanting to offer advice, much of it conflicting, it can be hard to know where to start. Harriet suggests the following tips:

Before you go through the information have clear in your mind what are your values when it comes to raising children. Once your values are clear you can pick and choose articles that support these. A wise friend suggested to Harriet that they write out their family values. What kind of people do you want to be, and raise? This means moral values, but also smaller, everyday things. Do you value sport, or not really? Reading? Bushwalking? Creativity? Identifying your values helps you make decisions in line with these. Harriet’s family decided it wasn’t so important for their kids to be enrolled in a sport outside of school. Although they want their kids to be healthy and active, the commitment of Saturday sports isn’t a priority for them. Harriet explains that once you’ve prioritised the important things everything else often falls into its correct place. Reading books on good parenting advice is better than short articles. Books give you a bigger framework, a context, and the author’s whole perspective from which you can make your decisions. Little bits of information don’t add up to a comprehensive understanding. It’s easy to come home from playgroup and say “we should be doing this”. It’s important to step back, ask “why?” and “how does it fit for our family, and for this particular child?”. It’s also important to remember that, if you’re married, you’re team-parenting with your husband. It’s his co-operation and support you need, not the approval of other playgroup mums. Harriet took her values from the Bible. Whereas the Internet can confuse you with tiny details, the Bible forced her to step back and look at the bigger picture. How can we cope with guilt, fear, confusion? How can God help us be better parents? Going back to God’s work helps us get out bearings, and acts an anchor for our parenting decisions.

Choosing Good Parenting Advice with Harriet Connor

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We should all be aware by now that, whatever stage of life you’re in, it’s important to get financial advice. Sometimes though, unless you know someone or have a recommendation, it can feel a bit overwhelming about knowing where to start, or who to choose. Today’s guest on the podcast is Financial Advisor, Alison Greenwood.

Alison Greenwood is the Treasuring Mothers finance expert

Last time we spoke to Alison it was about the impact of the Royal Commission on the Financial Services industry where she talked about the importance of doing good research before choosing a financial advisor. Today’s question for Alison is a follow-on: how do you go about choosing a financial advisor that’s right for you?

GUEST: Alison Greenwood HOST: Jenny Baxter

Choosing a Financial Advisor is brought to you with the assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation. It was first broadcast on Hobart’s ultra106five radio.

Show Notes – Choosing a Financial Advisor

The way people look for a Financial Advisor is changing because of the Royal Commission. Previously, people choosing a financial advisor would look for someone with many year’s experience. However, the new rules about the qualifications needed to practice as a Financial Advisor have changed this. Many people with those long years of experience are choosing to leave rather than have to get a new qualification. There won’t be so many advisors with years of experience as there once was. If you only have five or ten years until your retirement, it’s unlikely you’ll want to go back to university and pursue further study. There are plus sides to this, though. Younger advisors who are just entering the industry won’t be charging as much as older professionals. These younger advisors will be equally qualified thanks to the strict new rules, and they’ve still got to sign off on a code of ethics. There will still be a number of professionals who do have many years of experience AND the most recent qualifications, and they’re likely to charge more for their advice because of it. So how do you choose a financial advisor who’s a good fit for you? Alison says word-of-mouth is an excellent method. A good recommendation is worth any amount of research. Check out people’s websites, and use emails to ask some preliminary questions. Some firms offer a free introductory meeting, so you can talk then about the kind of things you need from them, and what types of advice they’re qualified to offer. Everyone needs a financial plan. It’s up to you as to how involved you want a Financial planner to be. Investing in your financial literacy is one of the most important things you can do for your family and your future.

Choosing a Financial Planner

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Samantha Freestone lives in Sydney, where she has a part-time job, two school-aged children, and a podcast (Some Answers). Needless to say, she’s a busy woman most of the time, and struggles–as many of us do these days–with chronic Mum guilt.

Samantha Freestone

Mum guilt seems to be everywhere. We’re all trying to obtain perfection, and look (on the outside at least) like we’ve got it all together. Samantha shares a story about her son, who complained of a sore throat before school. She did all the right things, took his temperature, gave him some Panadol, kept an eye on him before deciding him fit for school that day.

Later that morning, however, when the school called and asked her to come collect him, she felt terrible. “I’m a good mother!” she exclaims, the exasperation evident in her voice. Samantha, like all of us, is juggling not only the weight of her own family and work commitments, but the perceived weight of other people’s expectations and judgements. There’s a hashtag #Mumguilt on social media for a reason!

Does this sound familiar? How on earth do we manage such a load?

Samantha talks about her revelation of letting go, and what it means to look after herself.

GUEST: Samantha Freestone HOST: Jenny Baxter

Show Notes – Dealing with Mum Guilt

Samantha is this week’s guest blogger: What to do to Banish Mum Guilt >>>

Often we feel like we’re trying to obtain perfection, creating a have-it-all-together persona. Mum guilt starts, it seems, almost as soon as a baby is born. People have no hesitation in offering their opinions on the way we’re doing things, and often those opinions differ wildly. The weight of the judgment of others can be crushing, especially in times of stress like a child screaming on a plane, or having a tantrum in the supermarket. Samantha encourages us not to be influenced by other people around you when you’ve made a decision. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply trust your own instinct. Whether it’s working or not working, breast milk or formula, whatever decision you have to make, remember it’s your decision, and nobody else’s place to judge. Samantha shares a beautiful analogy of the message you hear in an aeroplane before takeoff: when the oxygen masks come down, fit your own mask first before assisting children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is look after yourself, whatever that looks like for you. The n you will be in a good place mentally, physically and emotionally, to then care for the others around you.

More from Samantha Freestone

Finding God in the Ordinary

How to Deal with Anxiety

This podcas twith Samantha Freestone is brought to you with the assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation. It was first broadcast on Hobart’s ultra106five.

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Jody Sargison spoke recently on Treasuring Mothers about creating an Exercise Action Plan (you can catch up on that episode here). Today Jenny poses the question, should you have a fitness buddy, or is it okay to go it alone? What are the benefits of each?

Jody Sargison is the Treasuring Mothers Fitness and Well-Being expert

Naturally, as with most things in life, there are seasons for everything. Not only that, different people have different needs. Jody has some great suggestions about times when it’s great to exercise with others, and outlines reasons for when it’s better to do it alone.

There are no rights or wrongs in this space, it’s purely personal. Start identifying what your goals are, and make your decision from there.

GUEST: Jody SargisonHOST: Jenny Baxter

This podcast was first heard on Hobart’s Ultra106five. It was made possible through the generous support of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.

Show Notes – Exercising with Others

Different seasons of life have different requirements. When Jody first started looking at getting fit she didn’t know a lot about exercise, so she sought help from friends. Going to the gym can feel a bit scary if you’ve never done it before, so going with a fitness buddy can be a great help. They can be someone who knows the ropes already, or someone there figuring things out alongside you. Sometimes having another person alongside can be a great motivation and encouragement, and help keep you accountable. If you do have an exercise buddy, make sure they’re there to help you achieve your goals. If your goal is to get a bit more active and have time with a friend, that’s great. On the other hand, if you’re working towards a goal, make sure your friend is helping you and not distracting you. If you struggle with motivation and you want to keep fit and make new friends, team sports are a great option. Many people prefer the solitude of running or swimming, time with their own thoughts and their own company. Classes are another way of getting accountability, and also some training. If you’re working towards a goal of strength or improving your technique in an area, a good instructor can help.Search Facebook for running or swimming groups in your area if you don’t have friends to exercise with already. . Exercising with others can help keep you motivated to keep going, even through the challenging times.

Related Podcasts with Jody Sargison

Exercise action plansEnjoy getting fitFamily Fitness

Jenny’s guest today is Brett Farrell, who hosts the regular “Fatherhood” podcast. In this interview he explains an interesting revelation he had during one of his podcast interviews, the question of “how can I best love my wife?”

Brett Farrell hosts a regular blog on Fatherhood

There aren’t a lot of men’s voices on Treasuring Mothers–after all, this is a podcast primarily for women–but Brett Farrell is an exception. In his own words, “There are lots of manuals and guide books on Fatherhood, but let’s face it, if you’re like me, you’re not going read them.

“I thought the best way to become a better dad was to simply chat with other dads. They may not have all the answers but they do answer some of my questions. In my podcast, I chat with dads of faith at different points of Fatherhood who talk honestly about how they handle this thing called Fatherhood.”

But what Brett hadn’t anticipated was the biblical encouragement for husbands to love their wives. Is that really what makes a good father?

GUEST: Brett FarrellHOST: Jenny Baxter

First broadcast on Hobart’s ultra106five, this podcast was brought to you with the assistance of the Community Broadcast Foundation.

Show Notes: How to Love your Wife

One of the first guests Brett had on his podcast was Matt Stemm, a vicar friend of his. Matt asked him about the scripture in Ephesians 6:4 where it tells parents not to exasperate their children, and how could fathers do this best? Matt surprised Brett with his reply, which was to go back and read the context of that verse, the bits before it.The most important part of family relationships comes when husbands love their wives, as outlined in Ephesians 5:25-33, and the most important thing a husband, and father, can demonstrate to his family is that he loves his wife. That’s not only the most important for the wife, but also to show the kids. The fact that Dad loves Mum can bring such a sense of stability in families.This one statement had a profound impact on Brett. His first question to himself was, “Do I do this properly? Of course I love my wife. How can I love her better?” He says the biggest challenge as a father personally from that time has been not only to be a good husband, but to continually demonstrate his love for his wife to their children. How can parents demonstrate love for each other in front of their children? What about engaging in a very long kiss, every so often, in front of the children. Make them cringe! Get familiar with the five love languages: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service. Learn which ones are most important to your wife, and do them. Another great idea is to identify your kids’ love languages as well, and demonstrate those to your wife in front of them.

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A short-list of quick, healthy meals is a must for every family. Today, dietician Fiona Rowell talks about choosing well and keeping a healthy eating schedule when under stress.

Fiona Rowell is the Treasuring Mothers dietician.

First of all I’d love to say a huge “welcome back” to Fiona, who has recently returned to work after a long period of illness. It’s great to have you back Fiona! 

Today’s topic is one that I imagine would be very close to Fiona’s heart, how do you make quick healthy meals and feed your family healthily when life is thrown into turmoil?

We all go through stressful times, some are just short bursts.But others are prolonged periods of stress. So it’s all the more important at these times that the meal choices we make give us the nutrition we need.

What food do you choose when you need to grab something quickly?

GUEST: Fiona RowellHOST: Jenny Baxter

This podcast is brought to you with the assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.

Show Notes: Ep 85 Quick Food for Stressful Times

Stress is a normal part of life for many families, juggling work and family commitments as well as anything else that comes along. Use meal times as a time to stop and rest, three times a day. Not only will it help you digest your food better, but it will help you calm down during busy periods. In stressful times, such as having a child in hospital or the bushfires that went through southern Tasmania earlier this year, it’s important to make the time to stop and eat a healthy meal where you can. If you don’t do this you’re more likely to graze on unhealthy snacks, or go for long periods of time without eating, which puts your body under more stress. Even with quick meals you can choose food from the major food groups. Start with a protein–milk, cheese, fish, chicken, legumes, nuts, beans. Add some carbohydrates for energy–put it in a sandwich, on toast, have a bowl of cereal. Third, add some colour. Fruit and veggies give us the fibre we need in our diet, and help us feel satisfied for longer. Take the time to cut up an apple, or peel an orange in season, and eat section by section. Take the time to enjoy your food. In times of extreme emergency–such as you’ve got a sick child in hospital and you’ve run home to grab some clothes, use these same rules as a guideline. Grab some toast and peanut butter (carbs and protein), or crackers and cheese. Take in some tins of baked beans (legumes–protein), tins of tuna, a few pieces of fruit. Grab a milky coffee, a latte or cappuccino. The milk is extra protein, and will help fill you up. By all means grab some chocolate, but remember that it’s a dessert, not the main meal. Make sure you eat something healthy first, so you don’t fill up on chocolate. When you’re under stress, remember to look after yourself. You can’t look after the rest of your family when you’re not looking after yourself. If you need to, ask friends or family for help. And remember to stop and pray, ask God to give you the strength to keep going. 

Are you looking for more healthy food ideas? Fiona Rowell also helps mothers keep their families healthy. Find out more here >>>

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The birth of a child is emotionally taxing at the best of times, but for Nicki Jeffery things were made even more complicated by severe postnatal depression. Nicki has written a book about her experiences to help encourage other mothers going through the same thing.

Nicki Jeffery

Five months after giving birth to her second child, Nicki experienced post-natal psychosis. This is a serious mental illness that left her in hospital for some weeks. It was a difficult time, with her husband at home with their baby and their toddler.

Nicki has also written a blog post for Treasuring Mothers. You can read that HERE >>>

GUEST: Nicki JefferyHOST: Jenny Baxter

Show Notes – Surviving Postnatal Depression

Nicki explains there was some family history of mental illness, with other family members experiencing depression. Post-natal psychosis is as common a condition as Down’s Syndrome. That’s around 1 in every 1000 women suffering. Doctors found it difficult to get the right medication for Nicki, although they managed it eventually. Nicki remained on medication for five and a half years. Nicki found it important to take a holistic approach to her health. She also focused on spiritual as well as physical health. Although the season was a tough one, it strengthened her relationship with hr husband, and their faith grew through the battle. Nicki is passionate about encouraging other mums and helping empower them through postnatal depression. If you are in this place right now, you CAN get through this season.And you WILL overcome!

You can connect with Nicki via her Facebook page, Instagram, and you can purchase her book via her website, www.nickijeffery.com.

Are you struggling with postnatal depression? In Australia you can find help here…

PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) >>> And also Beyond Blue >>>

The Treasuring Mothers podcast is made possible with the generous assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.

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It may be every parent’s nightmare, but Treasuring Mothers Social Worker Michelle Fletcher gives some grounding and very practical advice for what to do if you suspect your teenager is getting involved in drugs, and how to have “that” conversation effectively.

Michelle Fletcher is interviewed regularly for the Treasuring Mothers podcast. She is a social worker, who talks about Family Matters.

You may never think it’ll happen in your family, but what do you do if you suspect your teenager is using drugs? How do you get your head around that, not panic, and work together as a family to help them out the other side?

Some of the common signs of drug use in teenagers are changes in mood or angry outbursts, distinct changes in clothing, or a sudden new set of friends. However, although these signs can be worrying, they can also be typical adolescent behaviour.

So what are the true warning signs that you need to be looking out for, and how do you respond if you recognise them in your teenager?

GUEST: Michelle FletcherHOST: Jenny Baxter

Show Notes – Teenagers and Drugs

Some of the actual warning signs that you need to keep an eye on are as follows:

Changes in performance at school, grades getting steadily worse, or your teen is skipping school altogetherUsing secretive or coded language with friends, or they’re making a greater effort to hide conversations from youThey’re secretive about where they’re going and evasive about who they’re seeing. “Just OUT, okay? Can you stop asking so many questions?”Isolating themselves, spending long periods of time in their bedroom, or spending a lot of time with new friends who are pulling them away from regular activities, school, or family activities They suddenly start wearing clothes or jewellery featuring drug use or paraphernalia.

How to start the conversation

If you suspect drug use, how you approach the discussion with your teen is critical. Michelle explains the importance of preparation before you begin. Be careful, be kind, be prepared. Do as much research as you can beforehand, speak to drug education counsellors, learn the language, be the expert. You don’t want to create a situation where your teenager shuts down because they think you’re ignorant. Encourage your teen to talk. Pick your moment, don’t go in swinging, or start with blame. Use open questions: what, why, when, who? Don’t shut them down with accusatory phrases like “did you…?”. Try not to blame, shame, or justify. Don’t label them.Keep your tone of voice gentle, your words soft. Remind them with every word that you love them. As much as you can, try and keep your own emotions in check.

Create a safe space for them to talk

If you’re a Christian, pray first before you start any conversation. Ask God to give you the strategy. You might be surprised by what He reveals.Focus on the behaviour. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been really angry recently…”, or “you’ve been missing a lot of school…” This is much easier than addressing the drugs first, and might open up avenues of conversation–the reasons behind the behaviour–that you may not be aware of.Drugs can be a form of self-medicating to hide a bigger issue. By remaining calm, gentle and loving you’ll create space for them to open up about the deeper things that could be troubling them.

Be the parent. Don’t be afraid

Some of the information you hear might be very confronting. Michelle advises, “When you hear scary information, rearrange your face before your thoughts get out”. Your teenager needs to feel safe, and know you’re supporting them. Prepare yourself beforehand for the worst case scenario. Then, if you get it, you’ll be ready to be present with them emotionally. You don’t your reaction to make them shut down and not tell

Infant Welfare nurse Jan Murray talks about empowering the new parents in your life without stepping on toes. Sometimes you want so much to step in with advice, but you can be a better support to new mums (and dads) by helping them to be the best parents they can be.

Jan is a grandparent as well as an experienced child health nurse. She has older grandchildren interstate, plus her locally-based daughter has a 2-year-old and a 10-month old. This has given Jan plenty of practice in learning the delicate art of empowering while not taking over in parenting.

Many times you’ll have an opinion on feeding schedules, breast vs bottle, or whether or not immunisations are safe. How do you navigate the minefield of opinion, especially when you would do things differently if it were your child?

Listen to Jan to find out how she does it!

GUEST: Jan MurrayHOST: Jenny Baxter

Show Notes: Grandparents Empowering Parents

Parenting decisions are ultimately up to the parents. They have to own the decision themselves, and any of the consequences. Advice should wait until it’s asked for, no matter how hard it can be to hold our tongues. At the end of the day our role as supporting family members is to encourage the parents in doing their job best. Modern-day grandparenting is very different from how things used to be. Technology allows us to be present in the lives of grandchildren even when we don’t live near them physically. Being able to chat with grandchildren (or nieces and nephews) via Skype or FaceTime is another way of supporting their parents. This helps not only by keeping children busy for a little while, but by building long-term loving relationships with them.

Podcasts with Infant Welfare Nurse Jan Murray

Helping your Daughter with her NewbornBeing a GREAT Mother-in-Law

The Treasuring Mothers podcast is made possible with the generous assistance of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.

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Grandparents Empowering Parents