Five Golden Rules to Cope with the WHY Phase
Listen about to how to cope with the never-ending “Why?” Jenny Baxter talks to Scottie Haas on ultra106five Hobart about how to cope when your kids ask too many questions.
How many times have you thrown your hands up in frustration at the never-ending WHYs?
Recently a friend posted the following cry for help on Facebook. (You can see my answer further down)
Ok, thoughts and opinions welcomed. Son is asking lots of “WHY?” questions at the moment, which is awesome but does make me want to bash my head against the wall just a little bit. I need help with this question, asked yesterday, “When is something not new anymore?”
Oh my gosh! Can you identify with her? The WHY phase! It seems as though every child has a time in his or her life when the reaction to every single thing is, “Why Mum?” or “What’s that there for?” or “How come?”
The LVEQs – Little Voice with Endless Questions
It’s such a frustrating thing to have every minute peppered with six-year-old’s questions, of Why? What? When? Where? How? You could almost describe it as a syndrome – the Little Voice with Endless Questions or LVEQs.
So, when reading about this boy asking too many questions, you get it don’t you? The long-term effect of the LVEQs is enough to plead for a Lunch Break. Or a Leave Pass. Or even a Holiday!
Everyone has their own family stories of the LVEQs. My own exasperated parents would say to me: “Just because” or, “Because I said so.”
It didn’t really answer the questions, but it kept the peace.
For a minute.
And I must have asked this next question often when out in the back shed on hot, sunny days:
“What ya doin’ Dad?”.
And he would ALWAYS say,
“I’m pumpin’ up my bike!”
Which was code for,
“Don’t ask me, can’t you see what I’m doing?”
It was sort of funny, but it was sort of not. Because I found it a terribly unsatisfying response. It wasn’t any old trifling question – I was curious, and I was asking too many questions because I really wanted to know what he was doing!
So . . . about that Facebook post
When reading that Facebook post, not only was it clear this mother was terribly irritated, but so was her son. When he asks too many questions, he really does want to know more about the world around him. Which means the questions often do require a genuine response. But it really is a dilemma when the record (or the iPod, or the MP3 player) feels as if it’s broken.
Interestingly, all the Facebook responders only gave answers to the LVEQ raised by her son. They wanted to help her explain how to answer, “when something is no longer new”. Which was great.
But no one had yet tackled the heartfelt cry within the post:“I think I am going mad with the LVEQs!”
When parenting at the coal-face it’s easy to forget something very important: It’s just one of those phases! It’s so easy to forget to keep a long-term perspective, especially when you’re in the middle of a maddening phase like the LVEQs.
Here is what I ended up writing in my reply to my friend about her son’s questioning phase:
“I often used to say [to my son/daughter] something like, “Why do you think something is not new?” That way you engage him in the answer, and get him to reason through what he’s thinking, instead of relying on your response all the time. Also, remember, this is a phase.”
Also… Remember this is a phase.
Because you know what? It won’t be like this forever. It’s just the WHY Phase. One day you might be asking why God blessed you with a monosyllabic teen! So, if the “too many questions” problem becomes a habit of creating conversation, then it’s a good thing.
READ ANOTHER
