Trouble Planet Podcast

Originally from November 2017

I can’t begin to explain why the minute long cold open sounds like tremulous sobs emanating from a stygian pit in the nadir of the underworld. It might have something to do with Keith having retreated from Los Angeles county and having to record shit over the wifi in a national park. What a moron. Truly the second act of this real life drama is summoning every form of opposition possible, as not one but two of our indolent co-hosts has a wedding related travail to relate details of. The phrase “well-dressed mass grave” comes up multiple times.

Originally from October 2017

An extra spooky episode to herald the extra spooky time of the year- quarter four tax due date. Oh yeah! This is the episode from that month Youtube decided for reasons as yet not understood to delete every last fucking atom of evidence that Trouble Planet ever existed. Fortunately, this adverse scenario remedied itself a few months later, also for no real reason. But this recording dates from those Troubled Times, so listen up for some anachronistic grousing about that.

This month’s script is our stymied ‘Nick Versus’ series. A few episodes actually got made, albeit with some miscommunication in the birthing process, but a whole bunch more are consigned forever to the Idea Zone. Check out, as always, what might have been! And strap in and try not to bite  through your cheek at the barrage of “like”!

Originally recorded in September 2017

Hahahaha, Kyle moved to Florida and now the weather almost killed him! Hahahahaaaaaa

This episode required a do-over because the first draft amounted to nothing more than an hour long uninterrupted opprobrium against Keith for sealing Trouble Planet’s fate with his desperate bid to start life anew on the west coast. Such was Kyle’s wrath that not a single other topic could find purchase on the rain-slick, storm-filled dyson sphere of his mind. Fortunately it seems to have had a cathartic effect because this draft fared much better, with only a few dalliances with renewed vituperation to pose mortal harm to our topic. That being, by the way, a sketch so mercilessly inadvisable we decided to redact the title. Also: the first intimations of our eldritch country album! Let’s see where that ever goes!

Originally recorded in August 2017

A delightful new aphorism is coined. Keith is officially consigned to Los Angeles county. And, as always, we Patreon Alone. Stay tuned in for warrantless self congratulation over the making of the “Cicada’s Call” inter-session mini short. This is actually a re-recording, as there was not only a critical fuck-up on behalf of Keith, but Kyle damn near ruined the episode by verbally assaulting Keith over his poor life choices. It was just about as fun to listen to as having your parents yell at you, because you wouldn't finish your dinner. 

Originally recorded in July 2017

Having successfully got Madcucks to appear on the let’s play, the gang spend about five hours of mic time patting themselves on the dick, save for Nick, who continues to be awash in bafflement and a vague sense of discomfort, as well he might. A one-off joke from a recent remote session gets brought up again, for some reason, and the episode concludes with a sort of fanfic about spousal abuse running rampant in the town of Bedrock. Good God, this is not a good podcast. (We’re still getting the title of the show wrong, let the record show.)

Originally from June 2017

This month’s episode has Kyle plumbing some elegiac depths in a futile quest for meaning, while Keith revels in the prospect of getting master satirist Madcucks to take us up on an anachronistic Street Fighter challenge. Later, we showcase the massively disorganized speculative outline of a fairly low-concept comedy sketch wherein a pantheon of Pagan gods treat the whole of earthly existence as a sort of private Battlebots arena. Keith also makes the fateful statement of intent to move to Los Angeles. (Uh-oh.) Lots going on this month, I guess.

Originally from June 2017

This month’s episode has Kyle plumbing some elegiac depths in a futile quest for meaning, while Keith revels in the prospect of getting master satirist Madcucks to take us up on an anachronistic Street Fighter challenge. Later, we showcase the massively disorganized speculative outline of a fairly low-concept comedy sketch wherein a pantheon of Pagan gods treat the whole of earthly existence as a sort of private Battlebots arena. Keith also makes the fateful statement of intent to move to Los Angeles. (Uh-oh.) Lots going on this month, I guess.

Originally recorded in May 2017

Sealed in a hot, dark space, Kyle screams for no discernable reason. His sweaty visage assails and tremulous cries into the muted void offend the sensibilities of man and God as he sets about Marking his every sin in a permanent chronicle, to be shared with an unwilling world via invisible beacons.

Separately, he sets his designs on recording a podcast! And at the conclusion of such designs do we find ourselves situated here today. Today’s episode is all about those largely abortive live-action bits that serve as wrap-arounds to our Let’s Play show. Let it be observed that we do, in defiance of all evidence, exhibit occasional paroxysms of ambition. In our heart’s deepest, most tenebrous recesses congeal the inclination to make needlessly complex exhibits of basic filmmaking; however, circumstances and a dearth of competence hold us back. Maybe some day we can make something other than bizarre, abstract and wholly unnecessary prologues to playlists of arcade short plays. Until then though!

Also featured in this episode: an explanation (of sorts) for the inexplicable trip to Antarctica that Kyle took some sessions back. (The vacation slides from this financially ruinous misadventure, by the way, occupy to this day a bizarrely prominent spot on our Youtube playlist directory.) Hear us also ruminate on ways in which Nick’s personhood is most aptly compared to the ceaseless ravages of nature. Also! Five months in, we finally canonize the fucking title of the podcast. I can just feel that Patreon money SURGING FORTH!

(Originally recorded in May 2017)

Believe it or not, we managed to con (get it?) our way into doing panels at a convention once. Nick and Kyle only, of course, because we only had two invitations, and because Keith was busy typing out his virulent anti-fiat manifesto on a decrepit variable typewriter in a spooky unabomber shack in the depths of Maine. Being that we start this episode off mentioning “feigning competence,” I have to guess this is from the month where we (briefly) tried our hand at a semi-monthly format, a level of effort we very quickly came to realize was beyond our capacity to ever sutain. Anyway, this explains why there’s one extra podcast! Witness the snapshot of our one short-lived dalliance with Capability as we continue to unapologetically flaunt our inconsistency like a warding charm against criticism.

Originally recorded in April 2017

At the nadir of our lives, we spent time facilitating throwback music concerts and inventing novelty cocktails by working backwards from mildly amusing titles. Nick also seems to be having some kind of trouble! Listen in closely, but not too closely or you may lose your hearing.