true love Archives - Tony Funderburk

My first true love lasted about four and a half years. Even though I thought it would be the rest of my life. But the relationship didn’t endure a separation that happened when I moved to Texas to be there for my dad who was suffering from terminal kidney failure.

And after “getting over” it, I discovered I could actually love again. Another multiple year relationship developed, blossomed, went sour, and ended. So, that’s when I decided to “play the field.” And see what all the “lotsa fish in the ocean” notion was all about.

Because, in spite of my Christian background, I vowed that no other girl was gonna rope me in. Nope. Enough was enough. And I used my professional musician platform (a stage) to impress and woo the opposite sex. Yeah, I vowed that, if any heart was gonna get broken, it dang sure wasn’t gonna be mine.

That worked out great!

Not!

Guilt. Shame. Conscience. A still, small voice would confront me each time I did what I shouldn’t do. I was able to ignore that voice for a few years. But it was there each time anyway.

Oh man. Why wouldn’t that voice let me have my fun?! Why did it have to be there? Every. Single. Time.

Eventually I discovered that’s how my actual first true love works. Confrontation when I needed it. Instruction, deconstruction, accomplishments, and even failures. And most of all, a light on the darkest parts of my heart.

And that’s because my actual first true love was God’s enduring love.

I discovered His love is bigger than problems. It’s more valuable and dependable than “feelings.” His love has endured every stupid mistake I’ve made. And there have been more than I care to admit. Now, that’s amazing Grace.

I’m so grateful and thankful God never left me. He never gave up on me. And He still works on me when I stumble back into my self. There’s a comfort and joy in His love that no human being can even remotely match.

All you gotta do is ask Him for it, and you’ll get it. It’ll last forever. And it’s more real than any heartbreak or loss you’ll you’ll ever experience. After studying evidence for decades, I’m more convinced than ever of the reality of our one, true, living, loving Creator. Nothing and no one else could explain love. Love didn’t evolve. It’s a gift from God.

What made You think

You made a world

Because You love me so…in spite of all You know…

You put a life

I can live because You live!

Listen up for that song coming up in The Power of God’s Love Podcast.

And if you love (or even like) what I shared, let’s stay connected. It’s super easy. Here’s how:

It’s good stuff based on the power of God’s love. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

The form can be filled in the actual website url.

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So. You grew up, left your parents’ house, and went out on your own. Great. You’re not a kid anymore. And that’s exactly as it should be. What’s that? You still have to deal with your inner child? Well, here’s some free, unsolicited advice.

Yeah. You read that right. Kick that inner child out of your head immediately. And don’t look back. Matter of fact, don’t think back. Because back is SO backwards when it comes to rehashing your past.

Sure, I know my unadulterated, unsolicited, and un-delightful advice goes against “modern advice.” But my advice is based on the Manufacturer’s information.

Here’s what a so-called hypnotist healer has to say about this subject. And this comes from an audio session called “Compassion for Inner Child”

She said, “In this audio, I will lead you through an exercise that helps you find compassion for your inner child. You will find this soothing and reassuring, as your inner child may experience for the first time what it’s like to get adequate attention and care.”

On the other end of the self care spectrum is your Maker. And He says, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

So, as it is with most of your life, you have a choice to make.

Believe what a touchy-feely hypnotist says. Or believe what God says about you.

Now, if you disagree, don’t pitch a fit.

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Short answer. Me. But before I go any further let me explain how I don’t mean songs JUST for attention. I’m talking about songs with an ulterior motive. And, in my case, that motive included breaking down a woman’s resistance. No, not the way you’re thinking. Get your mind out of there.  

Way back in 1985 I met a beautiful girl. And a bolt of lightning struck my amygdala and cerebellum like never before. Some might call it love at first sight. But it wasn’t that sugar-coated, namby, pamby silly lovestruck moment you see in dorky movies. Far from it. In fact, I didn’t even attempt to pursue her at that time. Because, as it turned out, she was married. And I already had a girlfriend.

And this striking woman lived and worked in an establishment, in Florida, where my band and I were booked for a month. So, any thoughts of a relationship were doomed from the start.

Then, almost a year later in April of 1986, I was booked back in that establishment as a solo entertainer. And I was booked as the “house act” for the top floor, snazzy jazzy, club overlooking the bay. So, that meant I’d be there for awhile. And on my very first night to perform, there she was. Working in that top floor club full time.

NO!

The dream girl was still married to another. But at least I could see her and talk with her on my breaks. And as my time there continued we got to know each other a little better. And that’s how I discovered what an amazing woman she truly was. Because I could see she was doing her part to be true blue to a husband who was anything but. And that’s a story all its own.

As it turned out, I decided to go another way in my musical career. And I ended my “house gig” after only three months. That’s when my brother and I went on the road, full time, for a couple of years. And I left the dream girl behind. But…

Every once in a while I’d send her a card or note from the road. And I’d mail it in care of where she worked. Once in a while I’d be somewhere long enough to get mail in return. So, I’d write and ask her to write me. Purely as friends. And she only wrote me a few times in two years. And each time was a polite letter saying I shouldn’t write her anymore.

So, it was definitely time to throw in the towel and add it up to experience. Right? But I didn’t have one of my own towels handy, and I didn’t wanna steal one from a hotel. So, I didn’t throw in the towel quite yet. I kept sending a card or note every once in a while.

After a couple of years on the road, with my brother, I decided I wanted to come in for a landing. And I moved to Lakewood, Colorado with just my savings and dreams of making my stand in the Rockies.

I sent a few more cards and notes to the dream girl. But quite a bit of time passed with no replies.

So, I decided it was time to move on and maybe even find another “dream girl” in Colorado.

But then, one day in the Spring of 1989, I found an envelope in my mailbox from the girl in Florida. And she told me how she’d spent the previous months filing for, paying for, and getting a divorce. She said how there had been no marriage for a couple of years. And that she was finally over trying to make it work with a totally unfaithful man. And she said if I was still interested, she’d like me to call.

Ha! Not really. I said, “Yes, I’d like that very much.” So, I called, and we talked for a long time. And that was when long distance calls were still awfully expensive. So, even though we started calling each other more than we could afford, I decided to get even more serious about letter writing.

And that’s when she began to get letters in her mailbox literally every day. Well, except for Sunday. But every other day. And many times, I’d send two, three, and four letters on the same day. Because I knew the beautiful girl would be wooed by guys right there where she lived. And I needed some sort of advantage.

That’s when I started writing, recording, and sending her songs. I knew other guys would have location advantage. But I was counting on my songs to get her attention. And I wrote her a bunch of songs…including one for her name.

As it turned out, my secret song weapon helped me win the day. And she asked me to visit her. I did. Then, she visited me. And then a knot was tied in a couple of hearts that is still strong over 31 years later.

So. There’s are some lessons in there for you single guys. I’m not gonna point ’em out. It’s up to you to find ’em and use ’em. But I will say this. If you’re a musician, and you decide to woo a woman with letters and songs for attention, make them be about true love. Not sappy. And certainly not with the selfish motive of sex. Instead, tell her things like…

I feel lonely…do you think about me?

I like your style…oh yeah

I really like your style…oh yeah

I hear you say…just how you missed me today

repeat chorus…

Anything I hear you say…

© 1989 Tony Funderburk

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I guess Valentine’s Day (tomorrow, as I write this) has a lot of people asking that age old question: What is love? It’s only natural to ask, I suppose, since it’s not something you can see, smell, hear, taste, or hold in your hand.

You can go just about anywhere, including online, and get yourself a good pair of gloves. And when you get a good fit, you won’t even think about it. You’ll just put ’em on, and they’ll fit…like a glove…so to speak. No second guessing. Certainly no hassles, unless you lose one.

But love isn’t like a glove. You don’t just fall in love and it fits. It needs constant adjusting and attention. Love has no “one-size-fits-all” option like some gloves do. In fact, you’ll discover, over the course of your life, how your love will go through many changes. Young love, for example, is full of emotional passion and is too often confused with and mixed with unrequited lust. Add some years to your life and you’ll notice you become much more focused and intentional about it.

As your time on earth shortens, you should begin to see, if you haven’t already, love is like the old song says, “a many splendored thing.” It’s kisses on your forehead when you’re sleeping. It brings you a bowl of hot soup when you’re sick. It lets you know when you’ve said more than you should. AND it cleans up the broken glass you dropped.

Love is an understanding ear opposed to a demanding mouth. It lifts up instead of lashing out. It’s a compliment instead of complaint. And it searches for solutions instead of pointing out problems. Love is found in kindness, not candy. And it endures, engages, and expects.

You wouldn’t exist it it weren’t for the love that flows from your Creator. So, you can’t believe in it, if you don’t believe in your Creator. And if that’s the case, no amount of candy, cards, romantic dinners, or romantic getaways will ever bring you love.

Here’s to a truly Happy Valentine’s Day.

Smiling eyes and rosy lips

Because I’m holding out for…I’m holding out for…

Violet skies and mountain tops…

A sailing ship; a crystal sea…

I’m holding out for…I’m holding out for…

Sometimes the dream is the only thing…that sees me through.

Quiet talk; a crackling fire.

Instrumental…repeat chorus to end

© 1987 Tony Funderburk

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Let me be clear. I’m not talking about that dark red muscle, in your chest, pumping blood all day and night. When I say don’t trust your heart, I’m talking about your very core. The inner YOU that only God knows. He says “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Does that sound like something you should trust?

I can tell you, from personal experience, how trusting your heart to lead you in the right direction can mess you up. My heart got me in trouble more than once in my life. And no, I’m not gonna share the dirty details. If you can’t take my word for it, you might as well go listen to some more candy-coated Christian messages somewhere else. This isn’t a narcissistic rant to try and form a deeper connection with my readers and listeners.

Your eternal fate is important to me. Even if it isn’t to you. And that’s because God’s love and Word are in me. If it wasn’t for Him, I’d probably just tell you to go jump in a lake. Or take a long walk off a short pier.

But God loves me. He made a way for me to live forever. And He says all I have to do is trust and believe in that Way. But He also wants me not to keep this exciting news all to myself. I need to share it…just like He shared His enduring love and mercy with little ol’ me.

So…that’s why I’m here day after day. Year after year. To share the message that there’s a living, loving God who wants us to experience glorious love we can only imagine. And to let you know that, just like the love you share with your fellow human beings, God’s love is not unconditional. He has one condition, and one condition only. Trust Jesus.

Read the Bible and get the facts. Let your brain do the talking and let your heart be changed. Why would you not want eternal life in paradise?

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…that a man be willing to lay down his life for his friends. Do you have a love like that living in your heart? It doesn’t mean that you have to be killed in order to prove you love your friends. It means you’d be willing to do that if things ever got to that point. I pray you never have to face a circumstance like that. But I also pray you’d be able to if and when the time comes. And I pray that for me, too. Because that kind of greater love comes from above.

Imagine if you never committed a crime. Never even sinned. Then imagine being scorned, ridiculed, mocked, and even beaten half to death by people you were trying to help. What would you do? How would you feel? Could you stand having everyone hate you for just being you? And what if they wanted to kill you? Would you be able to forgive them?

I can only imagine what Jesus must have felt in the last days of His life. He became the only person ever to be found innocent of his charges and then sentenced to death. And keep in mind…He didn’t do what He did because He had no other choice. When they came to seize Him and take him to face his charges, He let them know they couldn’t possibly do this without His willingness. He told them He could merely pray and legions of angels would come to His aid. I think I would have prayed that prayer. Wouldn’t you?

But He didn’t do that because He had chosen to become a man in order to be able to give His life for His friends. His eternal life. For eons and eons past He had always been undying Spirit. And yet, His love for and toward us was and is so great, He became a flesh and blood man. Then, He became sin for us. And then, He actually endured a tortuous death so we wouldn’t have to. You won’t find greater love than that anywhere or anytime.

I don’t know about you, but knowing what Jesus went through makes me want to get to know how anyone could love me that much. If God, who created all the heavens and earth and lowered Himself to our level in order to give us eternal life, is FOR us, then…

They’re inconsequential in comparison.

God says that tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, and sword will not separate us from Him. And the Apostle Paul was convinced that “…neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Do you agree with me now, when I say there’s no greater love than this? Yes or no…let me know

I share it with believers who want to focus on the power of God’s love and rightly divide the word of truth. Spend your time reading, listening, and watching good stuff based on the power of God’s love instead of looking for it. And, to show my sincere appreciation for your time and attention, I’ll send you download links to music and The Very First 6 Days (a rhyming book for kids about the creation week) right away. Kids from 3 to 103 can enjoy these fun goodies. Just add your email to the form and let’s connect right away.

The form can be filled in the actual website url.

Stay tuned,

The post Greater Love comes from above appeared first on Tony Funderburk.