True You!

Greg Kovacs speaks with Donnell McCloud, CEO of Long Run Clothing in Utica, NY. Donnell explains how his own perseverance through adversity informs the Long Run mission to produce high quality clothing with high attention to detail. Donnell explains why he wants his clothing line to inspire others to never give up or give in.

Click the button below to visit Long Run Clothing at SHOP | Long Run Ent (longrunclothing.com)

https://youtu.be/lGH1ASl56xg

Donnell McCloud, CEO, Undaunted Ambition, and Long Run Clothing

Conspiracy Theories: Definition and Perspectives

Evolutionary, Psychological, and Social Functions of Conspiracy Theories

Demographics of Believers

Costs and Benefits of Conspiracy Beliefs

Effective Communication with Diverse Thinkers

The dollar bill has been a focus of conspiracy theories for generations

With political polarization at an all-time high, it is important that we develop a willingness and ability to have conversations with those who think differently than we do. Greg spoke with Dr. Tania Israel, who is a Professor in the Department of Counseling, Clinical, and School Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Dr. Israel teaches about helping skills, leadership, and community collaboration and has facilitated educational programs and difficult dialogues about a range of topics, including abortion, law enforcement, religion, and sexual orientation.

Beyond Your Bubble

She wrote a book called, Beyond Your Bubble: How to Connect Across the Political Divide, Skills and Strategies for Conversations That Work (APA, 2020) grew out of Dr. Israel’s skill-building workshop that she developed and delivered to hundreds of participants following the 2016 election. Dr. Israel’s honors include 2019 Congressional Woman of the Year (CA 24th District), Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Award for Excellence in Mental Health from the California Asian & Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus, and Emerging Leader Award from the APA Committee on Women in Psychology.

Gaylemarie’s story is one that unfolded rather quickly and required her to rapidly adapt and cope. There is a lot of research out there on the power of social support in helping us through the most challenging times. Unfortunately, Gaylemarie was not able to reach out to her family for support. She felt that her struggles would not be accepted by her family and that by revealing her struggles at the wrong time would make things more challenging for her. Instead, she found support in the partner that she feared her family would reject. Not only did she rely on support from someone that she was only beginning to get to know, but she also relied on them during a time when she was questioning some of the most fundamental aspects of herself—and she did this after relocating halfway across the country!

My discussion with Gaylemarie starts off with a description of her early family life, which helps to inform the struggle, the courage, and the strength that she has shown as she persevered through the current stage of her life. The last half of our discussion takes a turn that reveals strength, courage, and perseverance.

Gaylemarie’s story is one that would likely not be told if she had not asked to tell it on True You!

Stories like Gaylemarie's are why True You! exists, and I am so glad she wanted to tell it!

Communication problems are a top concern for couples in my couples therapy practice at Upstate Marriage and Family Therapy, PLLC. Based in cognitive behavioral theory, one question can help couples avoid communication impasses and emotional reactivity.

In over 22 years as a therapist, I have seen people fall apart then find the strength to put it all back together again. I have heard stories of people who refused to give up, who found ways to adapt, and who chose to not let events from the past or present influence the way they wanted to experience the world today.

Through my work I have the opportunity to help people rewrite their stories. But despite their power to inspire, stories from the therapy room are confidential. So, I created True You! where people can share their stories. Because we know that when other people listen to stories of courage, strength, and perseverance, those people can become inspired to change their own narratives.

Madalyn's Story

But when my own daughter, who is now 12, began to experience symptoms of anxiety at a young age, I never imagined that, 6 years later, she would be sharing her story on True You! I also never imagined that my daughter would WANT to tell her story. Well, it has taken 6 months of her persistence to convince me that her motivation to tell her story was not the fun of sitting in front of a microphone or of hearing her own voice. She was not dissuaded by worry that other kids might listen to her story and give her a hard time. That was my worry, to be honest; I will always be a protective dad. Madalyn wanted to tell her story not only because her story might help other kids. She wanted to tell her story because this kid earned her story.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Madalyn was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at the age of 10. That means that she was experiencing symptoms for a long time before that. At age 7 or 8, or even younger, she was experiencing repetitive, unwanted thoughts that a 5-, 6-, or 7-year-old would be unable to understand. Even more, kids at that age have little innate ability to communicate what they may not realize is problematic. Instead, they often express fear, anger, reactivity, and defiance.

Madalyn, and our family, all experienced those emotions. And despite most of my early career working as a therapist for kids with challenging emotions. I could not see outside of my own box to get a grip on what was happening with my own daughter.

In 2018 Madalyn's symptoms of OCD were really taking control. She hid them well!

Eventually, we caught on. We found the right providers, at the right time, and Madalyn was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You can listen to my prior interview on True You! with Dr. Elizabeth McIngvale, who is an OCD specialist who was diagnosed with OCD around the same age as Madalyn.

Exposure with Response Prevention

In January of 2000 we flew down to Tampa Florida after enrolling Madalyn in a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP), which is a 6 hour-a-day program, 5 days a week, for 6-8 weeks. They offered Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP), which is the gold standard treatment for OCD.

Madalyn talks about Roger’s Behavioral Health in her story, but we really cannot describe how essential that treatment was for Madalyn, and for us as a family. While Madalyn resisted for several weeks, eventually she dug in. She pulled as much out of that program as she possibly could. Her therapist, Sara, became Madalyn’s worst nightmare; after all, ERP required her to confront deep-seated fears. And Sara also was also an excellent therapist and one of Madalyn's greatest assets in helping her develop the tools that she needed to manage some tough thoughts and behaviors.

Madalyn found strength and courage at Rogers that I just do not think she would have found anywhere else--that is how it felt, anyway. Since leaving Florida Madalyn has made a 180-degree turn. She still gets stuck in repetitive thoughts. She still struggles at times to quell the thoughts that get in the way of attending school.

Never letting his guard down, Ben Sklivas made symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) one of his greatest assets. Ben will inspire you to turn your own struggles into strengths.

An Entrepreneur Harnesses Symptoms of ADHD

From Montreal, Canada, Ben Sklivas is a 27-year-old entrepreneur with ADHD. He talks with Greg Kovacs on True You! about his journey through life so far with ADHD and how he utilizes it as a superpower to grow his brand and help others within the community.

We’re the CEOs, we’re the entrepreneurs . . . we’re the people that break the mold.

In Today's Episode: A Story of ADHD and Perseverance

(3:00) Ben has learned how to take advantage of his symptoms of ADHD by defining a career in which high energy, social prowess, creativity, and independence maximize the chances of his success.

It’s about focusing on your strengths. It's about utilizing what you have rather than changing what you’re not good at.

(6:30) When Ben was 12 his parents knew that they needed to get him the help he needed to overcome his symptoms. It was at that time that he realized that ADHD would be a part of his life, and he began the years-long journey of developing the skills needed to become academically, socially, and emotionally successful. It would be thirteen years later that he recognized the power of his symptoms.

(10:20) Ben talks about how the symptoms of ADHD affected him socially, emotionally, and academically, noting that he was his own worst enemy. He acknowledged that the narratives that individuals with ADHD tell themselves can be more damaging than outside influence.

Personally, I don’t think I’m successful yet. We beat each other up more than anything. Self-Love, and self-appreciation, and self-understanding . . . I’ve only begun to hit the tip of the iceberg with that.

(21:00) When Ben realized that he could take advantage of his symptoms they became a superpower. He learned to use his symptoms to forge a career that assures his success. Ben is also a realist, never becoming complacent. He maintains a regimen of self-care and self-awareness to remain in control of his symptoms.

(30:00) Ben offers advice, words of encouragement, and wisdom to those who also experience symptoms of ADHD and who may not yet realize that the symptoms could be an asset.

If you’re 12-years-old, if you’re having issues at school, if you feel like you’re alone, if you feel like you’re not good enough, like you’re not better than anyone else . . . they’re wrong. THEY are wrong. You’re the best person that you can be.

Links From Today's Show

Facebook Group: Parents of children with O.D.D/ADHD/ADD/ANXIETY/OCD

Facebook Group: Support For Adult ADD/ADHD

Facebook Group: We have ADHD

Facebook Group: Adult ADHD CANADA

Learn More About Ben and His Work at Boost | Accelerated Marketing

Ben can be reached via Instagram @bensklivas

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Loyalty to Donald Trump: Is there a need to feel safer in a world of unpredictability and difference?

Loyalty is an instinct, evolved in humans over thousands of years, that draws people together through the safety of sameness.

Anxiety has evolved to “fight or flight” against anything that threatens that sense of predictability and safety.

Technology Has Made Our World Smaller

Over the past twenty years technology has brought us social media, cell phones, global transportation, and constant access to negative news stories. We now have daily exposure to cultural and ethnic diversity. We experience a daily flood of opinion and constant challenge to our values and beliefs. And when COVID-19 struck the United States in early 2020, fear and unpredictability increased furiously, resulting in emotional reactivity and detrimental social isolation. And when we can’t predict or understand something, we develop anxiety and fear, which fuels protective behavior.

While exposure to diversity offers vibrant challenges to stuck ways of thinking, those continual challenges to our values and beliefs can contribute to confusion, anxiety, and fear. I think of the television show from the 1970’s, Little House on the Prairie, which is about how shared values and beliefs help to establish a loyal community offering the safety of sameness. Like a child’s love of a cardboard box fort, people seek safety, predictability, and controllability.

Like a child’s love of a cardboard box fort, people seek safety, predictability, and controllability

What is Loyalty?

Does it make me feel safer?

Does it make my life easier?

Does it make my life better?

According to James Kane, these three signals tell us to begin the process of developing loyalty to another person, community, product, or political orientation.

He suggests that when those signals are affirmed, we move into the process of establishing a loyalty, which consists of three essential elements: trust, belonging, and purpose.

Trust

Trust can develop when someone else’s standards of competency align with our own. Mr. Kane explains that their competency needs to meet our standards before we can trust them, even if our standards are unreasonable. He states that the same holds true for their character (are they fair, moral, and ethical), their capacity to deliver what they promised, and their consistency of delivering that promise.

Mr. Kane noted that when we feel unsafe or threatened, we tend to trust subjects of loyalty rather the experts to whom we have less loyalty. Was this dynamic playing out when groups of Americans failed to heed the warnings of Dr. Fauci, the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, amidst the COVID-19 crisis?

My guest notes that in the process of developing trust, individuals must know the standards of their potential followers and must appeal to those standards. This speaks to the second element in the development of loyalty: Belonging

Belonging

Do followers of Donald Trump feel a sense of belonging in their community? To establish this sense of belonging it is essential that Donald Trump show that he has insight into the hopes and dreams of his potential followers. He needs to be sure that he makes them feel included, wanted, appreciated, and valuable. His followers want to be able to identify with him and for him to be someone to whom they can aspire and relate. This is an important piece in the process of developing loyalty to Donald Trump. His followers may be seeking solidarity.

Are people experiencing fear and unease because of increasing differences in American values? Is that difference driving people to seek out individuals, communities, and movements that will help them return to a place of safety and predictability? In my opinion, Donald Trump and his fellowship is a manifestat...

Male infertility and its treatment are breeding ground for complex emotions and challenging relationship dynamics. One-third of infertility cases are caused by male reproductive problems that include low sperm production, abnormal sperm function, or blockages that prevent the delivery of sperm.

Illnesses, injuries, chronic health problems, lifestyle choices, and other factors may contribute to male infertility (Mayo Clinic).

Male infertility can lead to feelings of anger, shame, resentment, confusion, and persistent relationship conflict. And while the thought of invasive procedures can be a cringeworthy topic for many men, fertility problems in men are often treatable once the cause of infertility is discovered. And though infertility treatment requires patience and perseverance, this True Story! shows that the outcome can be worth every bit of effort!

Infertility treatment requires patience and perseverance

Steve Bolander, Founder of Bolander Fertility Coaching in Utica, New York, shares his story of anger, depression, and self-blame that challenged his marriage, his quality of life, and his sense of self-worth.  But following four years of in vitro fertilization, a biopsy, several testicular extraction procedures, and a strict Keto diet, Steve and his wife gave birth to a healthy son in 2019.

The stigma surrounding male infertility causes many men to shy away from conversations and to avoid seeking treatment. But, Steve realized that his story of male infertility could help other men and couples to manage the emotional and relational difficulty in their own journey toward parenthood. Through Bolander Fertility Coaching, Steve helps couples to stay on track to a healthy lifestyle and to navigate the trials and tribulations of infertility and of starting a new family.

Learn more about Steve Bolander and Bolander Fertility Coaching on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Be sure to check out more True Stories! of courage, strength, and perseverance that feed the mind, inspire growth, and encourage transformation.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) was first acknowledged in the mid-1980s and affects between 2% and 10% of Americans every year.

Nearly three-fourths of those affected by SAD are women

SAD is thought to be caused by problematic circadian rhythms and imbalances in hormones and neurotransmitters, including serotonin and melatonin, and can result in annually persistent and potentially debilitating symptoms

Symptoms of SAD

Hypersomnia

Fatigue

Increase appetite and weight gain

Difficulty waking in the morning

Feeling depressed or sad much of the day

Loss of interest

Sluggishness

Feelings of hopeless/worthlessness

Circadian Rhythms

The body has a master circadian clock that resides in the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCM)within the hypothalamus and coordinates rhythms throughout the brain and other systems of the body. The SCM is stays in tune with what’s happening outside the body by tracking light cues through the retina. So circadian rhythms are generated by feedback loops that cycle every 24 hours maintaining the balance of hormones and systems in the body.

The brain uses 20% of the energy for the entire body, so it needs to do so in an efficient manner. And circadian rhythms in the brain are incredibly important for maximizing energy efficiency and health of the neurons. When we’re awake, neurons are constantly firing in response to stimuli. And all of that activity creates the buildup of something called reactive oxygen species (ROS) and other by-products. And during sleep, antioxidants remove excess ROS and other byproducts. Disruptions to the timing and duration of sleep and wake will disrupt these processes. In fact, a recent study found that even one night of sleep deprivation can result in an accumulation amyloid-beta (one of the proteins that accumulates in the brain in Alzheimer’s disease). So, efficient brain function depends on consistent sleep-wake timing.

Patients suffering from SAD often present with a phase-delayed circadian system, meaning that they fall asleep too late in the evening and awaken too early. This alters the body's natural rhythm of hormone secretion affecting mood and energy levels. If patients with winter depression have phase delayed circadian rhythms then adjusting the sleep phase should help regulate the circadian rhythm and improve mood and brain function.

Treatment

Light Therapy: One to two hours of 10,000 LUX light every morning may cause a corrective phase advance. However, it is important to speak with a specialist who can help you understand the best timing and intensity of light therapy. Side effects include mild visual complaints, nausea, dizziness, headaches, tired eyes, agitation, sleep disturbance, and sometimes hypomania.

Melatonin: Research has shown mixed results for the effectiveness of melatonin in helping to correct imbalances in circadian rythm

Bupropion (i.e., Wellbutrin XR): Research has suggested that Bupropion may help relieve the symptoms of SAD in some patients

Supplements such as St. John's Wort, Kava, Ginko Biloba, and Tryptophan have not been extensively studied for treatment of SAD, though some individuals have reported positive results for the treatment of SAD.

Ketchesin, K. D., Becker‐Krail, D., & Mcclung, C. A. (2018). Mood‐related central and peripheral clocks. European Journal of Neuroscience, 51(1), 326-345. doi:10.1111/ejn.14253

Øverland, S., Woicik, W., Sikora, L., Whittaker, K., Heli, H., Skjelkvåle, F. S., . . . Colman, I. (2019).