Marina and Jemma have found the one thing Trump hasn't ruined yet...oh wait, no, he's got to football too. This week the pair unpick his reverse Midas touch: one US player gets a red card, Trump gets on the blower to his snivelling little ring-kisser Infantino, and hey presto, the suspension vanishes. 

Then our hosts turn to the double standard that'll make your adrenal gland overwork: a masked Patriot Front march through DC gets a lovely police press release respecting their "right to peacefully express their views," while a 67-year-old Olympic canoeist faces ten years for touching a flap of peeling paint. 

Marina and Jemma also get into the Epstein files nobody in power will unredact, Kay Burley's most baffling moment, Farage versus Count Binface, Leila Cunningham insisting the CEO of Reform wasn't "politically active", AI machete fakery, and a wholesome choir with a filthy song. 

And don't forget, Trawl Meets Anthony Scaramucci lands Monday - political audio porn for your ears. Have a fabulous weekend, trawlers!

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