Why people eat things that will kill them (Turi has a tempting moment). A level of hell: calling a tow truck that never comes. What is your dashboard trying to tell you?

For years, Turi has given the wrong story about Marci's pregnancy. Here's the wrong story. Why it's a bad idea to bring certain people to a wedding. The fantasy of becoming a parent. Marci explains why grandchildren are different. The first Haboob (that's a dust storm, but haboob sounds better). Marci's very strange adaptive cookware. Changing the channel can be a hazard to your health.

The Marauding Cattle of Marci Persky Road. Who stole the cattle guard [hint: meth involved]? When your addict friend has a deeply held paranoid theory, or, how to put a meth addict to work. When family planning goes awry.

Sometimes, a TV commercial takes you to places you've never been—and makes you wish it hadn't.

Sooner or later, all your unpleasant habits and bad deeds will be known. And we probably did them first. There will be blood—all colors—and other bodily fluids. Goatless.

If you don't know which you are, your family will find out….after you die. Marci's mariachi marathon in Mexico.

Things to throw out before you die. Disposing of a marital enhancement. Some people cannot be given financial advice. Does this dog-discouraging spray really taste as bad as it claims (there's only one way to find out.)

Marci is refusing to learn new technology. It will make a fine epitaph. Resurrection of the Dire Wolf, and Marci's childhood. Turi's various categories of hokum.

When the equipment that's made for old people—is for you. The "dumb phone" solution. Should you warn someone who is about to see a crappy play/movie/concert. Can you date someone when you hate their taste? When "The Song Remains the Same"….and that song…is "Cherry Cherry." Marci has joined an online community of bots. Working out for a "donut marathon."

Marci's Only Fans new computer challenge. Marci's Law bad day. Pizza that's too fancy, cake on the floor, and deceptive frosting practices.