Whenever you plan a trip….there's that news story. Switchbacks to Sedona. The Hell's Angels go shopping. Swedish biker fish. Escape of the hounds.

That's not what you thought you were eating. What's in your underwear? Admit you're too old for that. Insulting a house for sale online. How to die in the bathtub. Rebuilding Elvis' house at your house, or how to mangle 150 year old mansion. The Jungle Room in Reno.

Five days, one missing phone. Paying ransom. If aliens abduct your partner… Falling back in love with the dollar store. A lifetime supply is a terrifying thing. The artist's vaccine, and poisoned manicotti. Ma'am, are these your goats?

When everything goes wrong on your birthday, is that karma? Three dogs, three ways to ruin your life. One solution to missing out on a promotion: poison your colleague. Can you take your dog's drugs?

Getting back on the horse—really. Revelations about Marci's past. The dog that hates your partner. The fancy birthday dinner that takes you back to your childhood…in a not great way. How much did you pay for that drink? Scary restaurant mascots. Steak.

Grandbabysitting, and what the space age diaper change. Exhaustion vs insomnia. The boomer iPhone case. Your bra as a weapon. The eye exam or "get that optician off my lawn." Happy birthday to us.

Have you ever heard friends describe their perfect holiday and thought "that sounds like hell"? This is what that sounds like. And, extra expensive holiday food that is purposely awful.

The last pre-Passover sprint. Travelling a little too light, and a little too late. The emotional support worm.

The list of things we're not talking about. School lunch failures. A dog flies out the window, and a bunny takes blame. The new refrigerator challenge. Shopping for Passover at 7,000 feet. Somebody loves matzah, and we know who it is. Making a living with toilet seat art. Whither the giant rat?

Marci has been on a quest for corned beef. Things you remember about St. Patrick's Days gone by…plus nausea, vomit, and one really bad date. The Gene Simmons waffle maker, and other mysterious promotional products.