I want to pray, but don’t know how. How to Pray for a Narcissist. It begins with honesty. It prays for light. 

Can a Narcissist change? 

That’s a question many people ask. 

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What does perfect narcissism look like? We can see it in the evil of Satan. 

I read a list the other day about the characteristics of those with narcistic personality disorder.

I think I could add an eleventh characteristic and this comes from those who have been entrapped by a narcissist into a long-term relationship.

11. An Attractive mask: They have such a beautiful, alluring presence to them that it’s not until you’re deep into a relationship with them that you are able to see behind the facade.

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There is a God-shaped hole in me. A narcissism entrancement holds me, but I can break the spell when I invite Jesus into the void.

There once was an Australian sitcom that I used to watch. It was called Kath and Kim. 

The two central characters were Kath, the mother, and her daughter Kim. In the series, there was a line repeatedly said from mother to daughter. 

Look at me

Kath would say these words to get her daughter’s attention.

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About Barry Pearman 

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I worry about what’s ahead, but I have a shepherd who prepares a table before me, so I wait, trust and see.  

A friend recently sent a job offering to me. 

It was to come to a town called Echuca in Victoria Australia and be a snake catcher. 

Yes, you read it right. Snake catcher. 

My friend works in a local school as a caretaker and part of his job is to make sure the school grounds and buildings are safe for the children. 

So he regularly is on the lookout for snakes.

He clears away areas that snakes might want to live in. Nets and fences are installed to stop snakes from entering the school grounds. 

He prepares a safe place for little children.

I like this illustration. It’s a picture of providential care. 

Have you ever had someone prepare somewhere safe for you? 

Say you are going to visit Aunt Mildred and you’re going to stay the night. 

She will most likely prepare in advance. 

She may make the bed, prepare some food, and get rid of any snakes! (especially if you live in Australia)

When you arrive, you are welcomed into what they have prepared. You may feel a little embarrassed by the fuss they have put into this welcome. 

But you feel cared for, loved, and welcomed.

Worries, fears, and anxieties can all bring us to a place where we pray ‘I’m anxious God’ but there is hope.

The first time I heard the Polish proverb “Not my circus, not my monkeys” I felt quite shocked, but digging deeper, I understood what they were saying. 

I heard it said by a husband about his wife. 

It felt callous. 

It felt cold and I still think it was. 

That he would not want to help engage with the struggles she was facing. 

To say “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is to declare that you don’t want to be dragged into the drama of the other person’s issues—that you’re not getting involved. 

I get the boldness of the statement, and the need at times to be quite cold and confrontational.

Some people seem to want to pass on the drama of their own life to others.

Read the post here

It's ok to build a wall.

She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both?  

It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand.

But in this quiet, I suddenly heard screaming and yelling. Every second word was the F word.

I looked down the road and saw a very large man woman and a man on the pavement.

He was kneeling on the ground in front of her. It was almost like he was praying/ begging in front of her. She was towering above him and shouting at him.

Words and more ‘F’s’.

More words, more ‘F’s’.

It was violence. Verbal violence.

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We give and give, even if it does us harm, but what if learned the limits and established a line?

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Our minds can be so busy, but learning how to stop is so crucial to our wellbeing. Perhaps centering prayer offers some help. 

I was watching a two-year-old boy the other day. He was full on in active mode. Walking here and there, playing with this and that.

But his mother knew what was coming. He was going to come to a stop.

A little but grumpy, a little more wanting cuddles, a little more rubbing eyes.

She picked him up, took him to his bed, and a few moments later, he was asleep.

All that activity and the changes going on in his growing body resulted in the need for a nap.

Slowing down and stopping is essential for anyone at any age.

We think we might miss out, there is so much to do, but stopping is essential for deep soul work to be done.

How are you at stopping?

Does the anxious mind demand resolution?

Does the depressed place long for a friend?

How can I still my mind?

How can I come to a stop?

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